Tel8

I think it's all starting to get to me this week. Everything is stressing me out! Now that I've made the decision to go back I've been researching jobs and housing and I went from overjoyed to a little sad, to absolutely petrified beyond all rationality.

I'm afraid my relatives in the UK will think I'm crazy for wanting to move back, but I need their help- just basic things like the odd bit of advise and maybe a short stay the summer before my move so that I can sort out interviews and property viewings. I think they'll find me a burden. I'm terribly afraid that they won't want to help me at all thinking that it's just too much to ask. I feel like they're still strangers even though I've been seeing them every summer since I was 15, but haven't seen them in about 2 years now. I haven't had a serious talk with them about moving back either.

The next thing that's giving me heart failure is whether or not I should do my masters here or there. There are pros and cons for both. My heart says get on a plane as soon as possible- the sooner I get there the sooner I can either fall in love or get it out of my system, and knowing that there's even the slightest possibility of getting out of here is making me long to do so.

I can't do anything until March when I find out what schools have or haven't accepted me for my graduate programme. If it's the one in London- I think I'm just going to go. I'm hoping against hope that it'll be that one. The rest are all here. I didn't dare apply to more because everyone was telling me how I'd hate living in the UK and it would be too much trouble and etc. etc. I just wish I'd stuck to my guns back in October and done what I thought was best. It's not too late to apply to more which I might do on the sly.

I'm sorry everyone- I just need to get some of this out before I go mad! I have absolutely no one in my life that will just listen and give me advise right now. I apologize for having to post it here.

Sally Redux

Hold your horses.

You're assuming that your relatives won't want to help you, but have you actually asked them? Why not jot down a brief outline of what help you actually need in order to get it clear in your mind and then have a chat with them?

Wub

Give the rellies a call. Mail, text, phone, whatever suits. You need to prepare them first though - don't just announce your intentions, lay the groundwork first and build up to asking them or better still, get them to offer to put you up for a short period of time once you arrive in the UK

If you do decide to go/stay/begin/ your course in London, you could try and find a house share in a suitable area. You'll find yourself living with a bunch of like minded people (if you choose wisely) all inclusive rent/utilities etc (so there's no need to worry about extra expenses apart from feeding yourself, transport and entertainment) which means you can effectively budget and plan your finances with care.

The UK is expensive however. Living with family to begin with will help you to adjust to this. Just make sure that you have everything organised both financially and accommodation wise as that's the key to making the transition a success.

Good luck!

Tel8

You're right-

I'm just panicking before thinking. I should really talk to them- the thought of it makes me cold! I will do it though. I think I'm worked up today because the Graduate programme I applied to in London just requested an interview, and it just feels like things could go any kind of way!

Maybe I'll get everyone on skype and just have it out.

ann m

Would the fees for your program in either London or the US sway you either way?

Sally Redux

You don't have to express it to them as all or nothing, pros and cons of each country etc - just that you have the exciting opportunity to follow a graduate course in London.

Tel8

ann m: From what I've seen the fees are about the same, maybe slightly cheaper in the UK actually...

Sally: good point. I was so excited to hear back from one of the schools (any one!) and then it just wasn't so nice when I thought about how I'd have to make that decision so soon about where I wanted to be. I think if I put all the cards on the table and let them help with the decision it'll make them feel better. I wish I had time to think! I've got a massive exam tomorrow too so that doesn't help. Over the weekend I'll see my mum and I think I'll just keep quiet on that subject for now. Once all the results are in it'll be easier to bring her and my dad round to whatever decision I end up making.

Brigette

It's going to be ok. 2 years ago I was in the same position on deciding where to go to graduate school. I ended up choosing the US, but I do understand where you are coming from.

I plan on moving this year after my grad degree has been evaluated by the HPC. I have relatives in Essex, and got a tepid or tentative yes regarding my staying there, so I can relate regarding the relatives as well.

Hang in there...begin making a list of what it is you would need to do, and I think first on that list is talking to your family. If you are nervous about talking to them, brainstorm on paper what you want to talk about, that might help.

I love what Sally Redux said: "You don't have to express it to them as all or nothing, pros and cons of each country etc - just that you have the exciting opportunity to follow a graduate course in London". I think if you present it as an opportunity to study it might go over well. Once you are there and a little bit more established in your studies and make a few friends you might suggest to your family that you really like it and want to stay?

Good luck on your interview with the Uni in London. Keeping my fingers crossed for you

Tel8

That's a really good idea- I think if I do end up going to grad school there, that's what I'd do. I'd still need to make sure that I'd have somewhere to stay and a job and everything first, but I could probably just bring it up gently that vein once I'm established. I guess my panic was about getting sorted- I think I'd be fine without them so long as I can sort out work and housing, but I want their help for that. I literally just got off the phone with my mum though- she's amazing, she basically said she's made up her mind not to try to convince me otherwise, and she'll support whichever decisions I make in the long run. That's a weight off! She worries that I'd be a burden to her siblings as well though. We both agreed I should aim to do as much as I can independently, but it would really be a great help to get them on board. I think once I've made my decision, I'll call them all and sort of put it out there and see what happens. Thanks so much for the good advise, and congratulations on being able to move back! I hope to be along soon

jemima55

If I was your rellie I`d be delighted to see you, help you and you`d probably end up running a mile, I`d become such a pain. Dont overload yourself with worry. You sound like you`ve got a really exciting future to look forward to, and a good way of finding out if the UK is the place for you or not.

Tel8

Thank you jemima. I'm going to do my best not to panic before I speak to everyone, and fingers crossed I'll be able to get through the next few months while I wait to hear back from the London school. I think if I got in, I'd at least have somewhere to start... is it a good thing if they want to interview you? I submitted the application. Heard nothing. Then suddenly, they said they were "interested in [my] application" and wanted me to take a short writing test (I'm going for Journalism). I did, and now they want to interview me. *sigh* I swore after getting into college that I'd never go through all this runaround again, and now here I am like a headless chicken. Bother.

Brigette

Think of it this way, an opportunity to live in London and decide while studying if this is where you want to be. Being a headless chicken is part of the course. Trust me, I am running around in circles trying to get everything I need to move back. From trying to get documentation from my Uni here, to trying to get the same story from different people at the HPC it is an exercise in headless chicken running Hang in, some hurdles we have to go through, but will be worth it in the end

jemima55

Tel8, I cant imagine that they`d put you to the trouble and expense of going to London unless they were seriously interested in you (plain English, yes I think they`re interested!). I dont know if this is what all students applying for your course have to go through. You could ring them and find out if it is.
That might set your mind at rest.
Calm down, they will already have weeded out the really unlikely applicants!

J x

Tel8

Good point! I won't be going over there for the interview though, we've managed to coordinate one via skype (they've already told me I'd be paying international fees ) I knew that from the first though, and as long as I can get a big enough loan to cover it all, then I'll be fine. Thank you for the vote of confidence! I think they might be interested too (I really hope so!) I'm excited though! I'll be sure to post on Monday after I've gone ahead and had the interview. I'll probably hear from them with a final decision in March.

jemima55

Yes, Skype, thats the modern way, and will save a lot in time
and money. Best of luck with the Skype interview!
Remember, also, you have lots to offer as regards journalism. I`m sure you watch the BBC news. Actually, there`s so much we Brits dont understand about America and how it all works, politics, government etc. Thats your USP, that you have a thorough knowledge of this enormously important country and a different viewpoint that you can communicate to others.