Street Harassment? And not getting many of those to the pound.
Sep 21st 2010, 8:58 pm
#33
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Re: Street Harassment? And not getting many of those to the pound.
that was really overbearing about life in the UK was the harassment girls and women got on the streets. And getting felt up on the tube, or in crowds or crowded venues, unwanted physical stuff. From - "Don't get many of them to the pound!" to "Cheer up love it might never happen".
From what I remember it went beyond the usual bracing oneself if walking past a building site to having cars hooting and cars full of lads leaning out of windows. Hey, and I'm a dowdy type with a face like a bulldog chewing a brick and certainly don't wear clothes to provoke.
It was only on leaving that I began to realize how overt it is in the UK, a kind of free-for-all, no real law against it.
In the UK for a few days recently I chuckled to myself that it was still happening (I had a car full of lads shouting something, I put it down to the hat I was wearing),
I don't miss unwanted and embarrassing attention in the street that can often be threatening, but probably have to accept that this is not something that has abated in the UK as yet.
The answer is never.
As for suggesting a shuffling, eyes down old woman in a hat would be whistled at is quite frankly ridiculous.
Wolf whistling is a rarity these days given there is not much building going on however I am sure all of us remember the good old days when blokes on a site whistled and 50 heads turned to see if it was for them
Sep 21st 2010, 9:21 pm
#34
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Re: Street Harassment? And not getting many of those to the pound.
Since when was wolf whistling and honking street harassment in the UK?
The answer is never.
As for suggesting a shuffling, eyes down old woman in a hat would be whistled at is quite frankly ridiculous.
Wolf whistling is a rarity these days given there is not much building going on however I am sure all of us remember the good old days when blokes on a site whistled and 50 heads turned to see if it was for them
The answer is never.
As for suggesting a shuffling, eyes down old woman in a hat would be whistled at is quite frankly ridiculous.
Wolf whistling is a rarity these days given there is not much building going on however I am sure all of us remember the good old days when blokes on a site whistled and 50 heads turned to see if it was for them
Yes then. It's frankly ridiculous (woman in hat was jeered at not whistled at) and I must be "over reacting". A person's take on a situation is their own innit?
My query to anybody who doesn't find the wolf whistling and honking to be offensive I would like to ask how they would feel about their 12 year old daughter (or son) recieving the same?
And another point would be, if it isn't okay to shout racial observations in the street, why is it okay to shout sexual ones? Not that I'd want either to be rife.
I'm answering my own questions in reading the helpful and/or revealing answers on this thread, and have come to understand that the way I can deal with what I do see to be the threat of street harrassment (some areas worse than others) in the UK is to discuss it with others so at least it's now being discussed, awareness raised and all that and to send the kids off to self defense lessons, just in case. Probably not a bad idea. But at least then I would feel like I was doing something about something that bugs me.
Sep 21st 2010, 9:24 pm
#35
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Re: Street Harassment? And not getting many of those to the pound.
I suppose that might be what makes it an interesting place to live? With lots going on.
Sep 21st 2010, 9:30 pm
#36
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Re: Street Harassment? And not getting many of those to the pound.
Okay, I get this. My slow dawning about the UK is that you can't have the smooth without the rough. We left with our noses in the air, glad to escape for a bit of breathing space to what we felt would be more civilised climes and got just that, no more rough, but we also lost what is smooth and wonderful about the UK.
I suppose that might be what makes it an interesting place to live? With lots going on.
I suppose that might be what makes it an interesting place to live? With lots going on.
Actually it was just said in jest because I'm a midfifties overweight worn out gal who doesn't take life too seriously...
Sep 21st 2010, 10:34 pm
#37
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Re: Street Harassment? And not getting many of those to the pound.
A granny? a pervert? or another 12 year old?
Also how can you tell an appreciative honk from an offensive one?
Sep 22nd 2010, 6:15 am
#38
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Re: Street Harassment? And not getting many of those to the pound.
Here I am being rude: what kind of a woman gets off on street attention anyway? Isn't that total insecurity? To need such feedback from random strangers to feel 'yes, I am worthy'? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I'm not sure how much has changed, we've been gone a long time, with infrequent visits back, but I know the reasons why I left, and I suppose they are coming back to haunt me a little bit now. As in: if i couldn't take it before, why should I be able to take it now?
I need to start a whole new thread, or be directed to one that is already going, that helps address the fact that the reason why a lot of us are expats is because we weren't that impressed with what was going down in the UK when we left (or swanned out, nose in air in my case).
Deeper psychological reasons even.
Does the break and time growing up or at least older out of the UK change us so we can cope with what we once rejected? Have things changed in the UK so we can return and live on? Plus, if we left because of being kind of entrenched in an area of a way of living, and in leaving we break the pattern and broaden our horizons, does this mean that when we return we can start afresh and think about moving to areas of the UK that we never would have considered before?
I do have a specific bugbear about how people shout out on the street, but I can see that there are underlying issues at play too.
I might as well start a thread about dog poop on the streets of the UK too and ask: has that improved? LOL.
Re: appreciative honk v offensive one. If I am out with my small children, concentrating on them, and I get a honk from a car, that startles them and becomes about their opinion of my attractiveness (one way or the other) I will find that offensive and intrusive and unkind. For example.
Sep 22nd 2010, 8:50 am
#39
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Re: Street Harassment? And not getting many of those to the pound.
A young teenager boy with long hair, walking down a street in the UK, gets whistled at from a car. I don't understand what is behind it, but it's bullying and harassment. Girls get more hassle than boys, I guess, as a rule. It's a free for all, women are the targets of much of it.
Here I am being rude: what kind of a woman gets off on street attention anyway? Isn't that total insecurity? To need such feedback from random strangers to feel 'yes, I am worthy'? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I'm not sure how much has changed, we've been gone a long time, with infrequent visits back, but I know the reasons why I left, and I suppose they are coming back to haunt me a little bit now. As in: if i couldn't take it before, why should I be able to take it now?
I need to start a whole new thread, or be directed to one that is already going, that helps address the fact that the reason why a lot of us are expats is because we weren't that impressed with what was going down in the UK when we left (or swanned out, nose in air in my case).
Deeper psychological reasons even.
Does the break and time growing up or at least older out of the UK change us so we can cope with what we once rejected? Have things changed in the UK so we can return and live on? Plus, if we left because of being kind of entrenched in an area of a way of living, and in leaving we break the pattern and broaden our horizons, does this mean that when we return we can start afresh and think about moving to areas of the UK that we never would have considered before?
I do have a specific bugbear about how people shout out on the street, but I can see that there are underlying issues at play too.
I might as well start a thread about dog poop on the streets of the UK too and ask: has that improved? LOL.
Re: appreciative honk v offensive one. If I am out with my small children, concentrating on them, and I get a honk from a car, that startles them and becomes about their opinion of my attractiveness (one way or the other) I will find that offensive and intrusive and unkind. For example.
Here I am being rude: what kind of a woman gets off on street attention anyway? Isn't that total insecurity? To need such feedback from random strangers to feel 'yes, I am worthy'? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I'm not sure how much has changed, we've been gone a long time, with infrequent visits back, but I know the reasons why I left, and I suppose they are coming back to haunt me a little bit now. As in: if i couldn't take it before, why should I be able to take it now?
I need to start a whole new thread, or be directed to one that is already going, that helps address the fact that the reason why a lot of us are expats is because we weren't that impressed with what was going down in the UK when we left (or swanned out, nose in air in my case).
Deeper psychological reasons even.
Does the break and time growing up or at least older out of the UK change us so we can cope with what we once rejected? Have things changed in the UK so we can return and live on? Plus, if we left because of being kind of entrenched in an area of a way of living, and in leaving we break the pattern and broaden our horizons, does this mean that when we return we can start afresh and think about moving to areas of the UK that we never would have considered before?
I do have a specific bugbear about how people shout out on the street, but I can see that there are underlying issues at play too.
I might as well start a thread about dog poop on the streets of the UK too and ask: has that improved? LOL.
Re: appreciative honk v offensive one. If I am out with my small children, concentrating on them, and I get a honk from a car, that startles them and becomes about their opinion of my attractiveness (one way or the other) I will find that offensive and intrusive and unkind. For example.
I suggest you don't worry too much about it, there are far more important things to consider when moving back such as where to live and whether you can get a job.
Sep 22nd 2010, 8:58 am
#40
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Re: Street Harassment? And not getting many of those to the pound.
Sep 22nd 2010, 12:03 pm
#41
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Re: Street Harassment? And not getting many of those to the pound.
"I imagine if you go where there are lots of drunk young lads out on a Saturday night you might get that sort of thing, but I don't so maybe that's why."
Most of the hassle I object (and objected to) was in broad daylight, afternoons and nowhere near places of boozing.
Nightlife shinanigans I haven't included as a problem, out of the box stuff to be expected at night near places where people are getting wrecked, I imagine. The way I see it, it would be impossible to do nightlife without getting some sort of attention.
I am beginning to see that my experiences have not been the usual experiences: this is heartening!
Most of the hassle I object (and objected to) was in broad daylight, afternoons and nowhere near places of boozing.
Nightlife shinanigans I haven't included as a problem, out of the box stuff to be expected at night near places where people are getting wrecked, I imagine. The way I see it, it would be impossible to do nightlife without getting some sort of attention.
I am beginning to see that my experiences have not been the usual experiences: this is heartening!
Sep 22nd 2010, 1:21 pm
#42
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Re: Street Harassment? And not getting many of those to the pound.
I can honestly say that in my entire life this hasn't happened to me, my family or anyone else I know anywhere in the UK and we have lived in a variety of towns. Even during our 5 week holiday there recently, my 12 year old daughter who looks considerably older than 12 with the womanly attributes of an 18 year old didn't get honked or whistled at once.
I suggest you don't worry too much about it, there are far more important things to consider when moving back such as where to live and whether you can get a job.
I suggest you don't worry too much about it, there are far more important things to consider when moving back such as where to live and whether you can get a job.
But you are right, more important things to worry about
I have given this some thought, found out that it does happen but not to everybody (so it is not completely widespread or common then) and that there are even groups campaigning against it for those who have experienced it.I think I'll leave this thread at that then, because I feel like I've got the answers and advice I needed. Thanks everyone
Sep 22nd 2010, 5:14 pm
#43
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Re: Street Harassment? And not getting many of those to the pound.
I am back in the UK at the moment and am realizing that the Daily Mail nonsense is just that ... nonsense.
I haven't been hassled in any way at any point and we have been out walking through towns in both day and night time. Now I'm wondering if I should be insulted
I can't even remember being hassled more than once or twice back when I was a pretty young thing - and then only if you consider a whistle to be harassment. I feel as though the original post is either about a country I don't know, or that the OP should move up north!
I haven't been hassled in any way at any point and we have been out walking through towns in both day and night time. Now I'm wondering if I should be insulted
I can't even remember being hassled more than once or twice back when I was a pretty young thing - and then only if you consider a whistle to be harassment. I feel as though the original post is either about a country I don't know, or that the OP should move up north!
Sep 23rd 2010, 4:14 pm
#44
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Re: Street Harassment? And not getting many of those to the pound.
I live in outer London since 4 years and I never have experienced anything like that over here.
Oct 1st 2010, 5:59 pm
#45
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Re: Street Harassment? And not getting many of those to the pound.
Took a mini 'fact finding' break to the UK, this week and found no evidence of street harassment whether I was dressed like Barbara Woodhouse or something more Barbarella. Nice attention yes (compliment on an item of clothing), flattery yes (being called a beautiful YOUNG lady HAHA), gentlemanly behavior abounding (doors being held open), but none of the stuff that has been worrying me as I sit and contemplate a re-turn to the UK. No abuse on the street and no cars full of lads. Watched a couple of building sites have absolutely no reaction as gaggles of dolly birds skittered past in what appears to be the fashion for very short skirts this season.
Made a point of getting out and about at night, walking from a to b alone on dark streets and felt completely and utterly safe. Which, yes, surprised me.
Apart from a few nutters shouting their heads off (bless them) at the crowds I didn't notice anything alarming. Most of whom might have been special needs anyway or with drugs frazzled brains. I think at least one of the shouters might have been promoting some sort of evangelical cause. Couple of steamed up blokes on the top deck of a bus who glanced at me sideways was all I got. And to be fair, I was glancing at them fairly askance.
Made a point of getting out and about at night, walking from a to b alone on dark streets and felt completely and utterly safe. Which, yes, surprised me.
Apart from a few nutters shouting their heads off (bless them) at the crowds I didn't notice anything alarming. Most of whom might have been special needs anyway or with drugs frazzled brains. I think at least one of the shouters might have been promoting some sort of evangelical cause. Couple of steamed up blokes on the top deck of a bus who glanced at me sideways was all I got. And to be fair, I was glancing at them fairly askance.