CaliforniaBride

I just received an email that looks quite legit, but hey ho why not post it here before I've really checked it out (that's what the boards for isn't it?)

Anyway, I know that lots of us US immigrants are remarried and in stepfamilies and it does colour the lense through which we view our experiences of being here. (ok why does the fekkin spellcheck on here pick coloUr as a typo :curse::curse

I digress, but does being in a stepfamily or remarriage really make our experiences so different to the rest of them (deliberate attempt to alienate another group in the hopes of...well summat )

Sh!t, I'm not even p!ssed. I'll just post the damn email and shut up before I sound like a drunken waffler. (Spell check accepts 'waffler' but red underlines colour???) Ok, ok, her it is..........(drum roll, followed by damp squib noise)

Greetings,

My name is David Schramm, a doctoral student here at Auburn University, and staff member for the National Stepfamily Resource Center housed here at Auburn (www.stepfamilies.info). As part of my dissertation I am conducting some research on couples in Remarriages and Stepfamilies. Your email address was obtained through a previous online stepfamily questionnaire you completed in recent years.

As you may be aware, there is currently very little research-based information that is available that pertains to remarriages and stepfamilies and we would like to see that change. We hope to learn more about what makes for strong remarriages and stepfamilies. We would also like to learn more about the possible marital struggles you may have experienced in your remarriage and/or stepfamily, including struggles with financial issues, in hopes that we may be able to educate future couples about what to expect going into a remarriage and or stepfamily. Only people in remarriages and stepfamilies can help us truly understand the joys and stresses of these relationships.

If you are currently in a remarriage and/or stepfamily, I hope you and your spouse will take the time to complete the survey that is found at the following link:

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=914103708736

All of the information that you provide on the online survey will be treated as private and kept confidential. Your name will NOT appear on any questionnaires. You will be asked to come up with your own 4 digit code number, which will be used to organize the information you provide.

If you have any questions I invite you to contact me directly at (334) 844-3299 or [email protected] You are welcome to forward this email on to other couples you know who are in a remarriage or stepfamily.
If you are not interested, please accept my apologies and delete this email.

All the best,

David Schramm


David G. Schramm, M.S. CFLE
Doctoral Candidate
Dept. of Human Development and Family Studies
Auburn University
203 Spidle Hall
Auburn, AL 36849
(334)844-3299
[email protected]

David G. Schramm, M.S. CFLE
Doctoral Candidate
Dept. of Human Development and Family Studies
Auburn University
203 Spidle Hall
Auburn, AL 36849
(334)844-3299
[email protected]

Tracym

Sounds legit to me - he has an email at the university. You could always phone up or email I suppose, or start the survey and quit if you're uncomfortable.

danfan

wow, great question. If looking at it simply, stepfamilies can be hard work - being accepted as a new mum or dad, accepting & loving new children as your own.
Emmigrating and learning to accept a new culture can be painfully hard also, as many of us know.
Add them up, that's a whole lot of new experiences, new struggles, so many things to fit into and accept.

I'm in that boat like many. It is bloody hard. Not sure about "deliberate attempt to alienate another group in the hope of....."?

Maggs

Hi CB

I'd give him a call definitely, just to check him out as being genuine. I am step mum to my husbands 3 teenage children (13, 15, 18) and they also live with us full time. (have 2 of my own 22 and 25) I would love to try to understand how to deal with some of the most difficult, but normal, situations that happen on a week to week basis without causing a major family disruption! It's really hard to do, as anyone with stepkids must know.

I consider myself lucky that over the last 5 years not one of them have said "your not my mum" when one of them has been asked to do something they don't want to do i.e. clean their rooms, homework etc, although I'm sure they've thought it more than once.

At first I was going to say that I didn't think it had coloured my outlook on the US as an immigrant, but on reflection, it probably has to some degree. There have been times when one of my step children may have tried to pull the wool over my eyes about something and it's taken me a while to figure out that it's not so much a US thing but a child/stepchild view of something in a culture different to my own! So trying to seperate the US culture from kids culture has been my biggest problem from an immigrants view. I am now pretty good at figuring out what they are trying to get (like all kids), by asking better questions and understanding their language!

If you get any feedback or anything that could help those of us in a "blended" family, I would love to hear about it. Might even help me from thinking I am a total nutcase some days!

Maggie

P.S. are you still off the cigs?

Bob

http://ndspi.org/index.php/site/blog...ta_60_to_80_m/


http://utahmarriage.org/index.cfm?id=17htV59n28


google pops him up with similar research, so maybe legit, but then again, different universities...give him a call.