AC-Queen

Hi!
I've been living in Katy since we moved over to Houston in Aug 2007. The realization finally hit me this week, after months of trying to ignore the fact.
I am a stay at home 'mom'. In Katy.

Just stumbled across this site and I wish I'd found it months ago! I'm loving the US but finding my new lifestyle a bit strange - being at home with an 18mnth old in London is slightly different. Actually very different. Not sure I'll ever live up to the standards of a Texan SAHM.
The first day we moved in, my lovely neighbour (same age) brought me over a photocopied file of her favourite recipes, so I could cook my husband a great dinner that night.

joto

Are you sure you have not moved to Stepford?

AC-Queen

Don't joke!
But on a serious note I'm really missing 'normal' people. I've been out and about socializing with various groups and neighbors - and while there are one or two people who are fun (mainly from NJ or Euro), some of the women here are a little scary.

Oh - and while I'm here - what is 'Bunko' - does it hurt?

penguinsix

They probably think the same about you

It's a trip to meet folks in a different culture, and I think that is doubled when meeting a group of 'stay at home moms'. My wife, who despises small talk, just can't break in with any circle of 'mom' friends to save her life, so it's often up to me to take the kid out and try to circulate with the neighbors.

There is a WIKI article above about making new friends in the US and some suggestions for finding like minded folks. Houston actually has a lot of Brits if you just want to give up and look for something you know. But it's still early. You've not even been here a year so there's still a lot more to see and people to meet.

MsElui

bunko is fun. I play it with old neighbours.

Its really a night of chatting - often with margeritas and fancy nibbles - whilst trying to play a dice game.

Its essentially 6 rounds of a game. you take it in turn to throw 3 dice allways trying to get up to three of the same number (number to get is 1's in round 1 2's in round 2 and so on). there is some scoring happening but your neighbours should be able to take care of that part til you get the hang. Where I play we all stick in $5 to the pot and the winner after 2 rounds of 6 gets the pot. We take it in turn to host the evening - usually once a month. My neighbours are a riot and usually get louder as the nights get going and alcohol flows!

I have another bunch of friends that I play Pokeeno once a month with too. Thats simply a version of bingo but instead of numbers the cards have playing cards on them. so someone turns over a deck of cards one at a time and you cover that one on your card if you have it. In this group we have to buy a prize with a budget of $8. then each round we play (determined by number of players) you win one of the prizes. Again - this bunch gets noisier as they go along and consume more booze.

I like to go along - as like you I am now a stay at home mum ( kids aged 20 months and 4) so dont have work any more to provide social contact. One group was the neighbours at my first rental but the other group was actually joined via the wife of a colleague of my husband. she lives near us and we met up with kids a few times and then she invited me. If the neighbours are fun (and they drink) go along! The only thing you might have to worry about is the gourmet quality of the food they provide and how clean and polished their houses are (ie can you reciprocate!).

ladyofthelake

Bunko is a game played with three dice. Mainly women play it. You have to circulate around all the tables and play pairs with everyone there, so can be a good way to meet people. If there is a bunko night close to you, try it out.

Ash UK/US

Just after I moved here my neighbour gave me a cook book too... must be a welcoming thing

AC-Queen

Thanks for the reply - I am trying to stay positive, and am very keen to be here. I suppose I just didn't expect the culture shock to be so huge - after all, I thought being a mother was a fairly universal thing, and I'd have no problem finding friends or people I had lots in common with.
I do get the impression that they don't seem to know what to talk about with me, and they are taken aback if I ask something away from the topic of children or families. The most probing question I've had is 'what does your husband do?'. Conversations do seem limited to small talk, even with people I've met many times. I think it is a Katy SAHM thing. I have been to a few parties downtown and with my husband's colleagues and I get so excited to be talking about anything other than children and interior design, I never want to go home!
In UK I didn't find this at all - lots of the SAHM had interesting lives/past lives/ opinions, and good friendships were made much quicker.
Feeling a little homesick I think!

Duncan Roberts

I want to be a stay at home dad. Don't think it will happen though seeing as my wife wants to be a stay at home mum and we can't afford it!

By the way, I think the name bunko pretty much sums up the game.

TruBrit

hiya, i survived Katy for 3 yrs, only just

we lived in lakeforest off sth fry rd. Katy was far too remote/country for me after a busy UK lifestyle....not much more going on in Houston tbh but it's certainly got more going for it than Katy.

mandana lives out in Katy. she has visitors staying at the mo and generally seems to keep herself pretty busy....you might want to leave her a PM.

guess you've found Brendan's off Sth Mason....good old scottish hairdresser chappie who has been hairdressing in Katy for about 5 yrs.

ChocolateBabz

I hear you AC-Queen. I get asked which church i go to before they ask my name. As soon as I say we are not church goers they are gone faster than the light reflecting off Joel Osteen's big ass white teeth. Send me a PM if it all gets too much. I am down in Pearland waiting for Dolly - maybe my first Hurricane .

TruBrit

prepare to hunker down

AC-Queen

Chocolatebabz - thanks and hope Dolly is not too rough to you!

dbj1000

Bunko - ROFL - neighborhood wives getting really drunk under the pretense of playing a dice game.

It's not just Katy where the SAHMs are like that. The millimeter-deep steely facade that stops any discussion of anything other than kids and interior design and church seems to be pretty common here in the "big city" of Dallas (well, in the suburban wastelands at least).

Still, I can imagine it's much worse in Katy, and for that you have my pity.

Not that this will help, but culture shock goes in waves, and after only a year here you're certainly not likely to come out of it anytime soon. I know everyone's different, but you can expect at least a few more years before it actually feels like home.

Our experience is that the rejection stage of culture shock, where you hate and despise everything about your new home can be pretty ugly, and can take a long time to get over. This place helps, by allowing you to vent. After all, it doesn't go down well with the local ladies when you tell them what you really think of their neat little homes and closed little minds!

My advice (for what it's worth) is to throw yourself into anything that grabs you. Try different things. Anything. Meet people from as broad a range as you can. For every 99 shallow Texan gals, you might be lucky enough to meet someone who's their own person, on your wavelength and a potential friend. You don't have to settle for plastic friendship with the SAHMs!

scrubbedexpat097

We are very nearly neighbors.......I'm a little more south of Pearland in Brazoria county.

I don't think Dolly will effect us much but as True Brit says "be prepared to hunker down"