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Someone please help. I need answers!

Someone please help. I need answers!

Old Jul 11th 2016, 6:26 pm
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Exclamation Someone please help. I need answers!

Hello all,

So here is my situation.......
3.5 years ago I moved to the US to live with family who had moved here 2 years prior.
I have a permanent residence card and can apply for my citizenship in a year. I was 21 when I moved here and lived with my father (who is also currently on a permanent resident visa) and my step mother who is a US citizen.

I lived with them for 2-3 years because they said I was not allowed to move out because they are legally responsible for me. After much debate I have finally moved out and live with my girlfriend.

I am currently working in a company in which both my parents work - the company is now 1 hour away from where I live.
To better myself in both my own energy and money for fuel in my car each week, I decided to look closer to home for a new job. I found many promising jobs which I can apply for but upon mention of this to them - it caused tension which resulted in them saying "if you take that job and something happens and you lose that job, you better start looking at going back home (To England) because we cannot support you"

I am 24 - almost 25 years old and I feel like a prisoner in my own life and feel like I have no say or control over it.
Every time I try and make my own decision - whether it be where I live or where I work. I get met with 'If you don't like me rules - you can get back on the plane and go home'

I REALLY need some answers as to what I can/should do?
Can he/they have me sent back home?
Do they have control/say over what I do with my life because they were/are my sponsors for my visa?
Or do I have to wait until I am a citizen to regain control of my life again???

Any help or advice would be GREAT!!
Thank you.
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Old Jul 11th 2016, 6:34 pm
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Default Re: Someone please help. I need answers!

If you have a green card they have NO control over you or your immigration status, none whatsoever, and never did since the day you got your green card status (likely several weeks before your actual green card was delivered to you). End of story.

If you originally had a derivative visa, for example an H-4 or an L-2, then things would be a little different because those visas only exist as derivatives of an H-1x or an L-1x. In any case as a child on a derivative visa, those derivative visas expire the day you reach 21.

Last edited by Pulaski; Jul 11th 2016 at 6:41 pm.
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Old Jul 11th 2016, 6:34 pm
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Default Re: Someone please help. I need answers!

You are over the ages of both 18 and 21. You have a green card, which means you have permanent residency, and no restrictions on how long you remain in the US. Bear in mind that citizenship costs money, but it's the level of money that you can save for with almost any full-time job.

You are an adult. You can earn your own money and choose how to spend it, and you can choose what relationship you have with your parents, if any.
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Old Jul 11th 2016, 6:54 pm
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Default Re: Someone please help. I need answers!

Just one thing to bear in mind and that is your health insurance. If you are on your parents' this will cease when you reach age 26, so you would need to have your own, which may be a factor in choosing employment.

Good luck!
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Old Jul 11th 2016, 7:23 pm
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Default Re: Someone please help. I need answers!

Thank you all for replying so fast.

I am actually on my own health insurance right now through the company I work for and one of the companies I am looking to apply at has a full benefits package.

And yes, I figured as much with them not being able to control where I live and what I do etc. but I tried to tell them this and they wouldn't listen and said that my information was wrong!

They also said that - because I am financing my own car etc that if I lost a job and couldn't make a payment or if I were to get into any trouble.....that the consequences would affect them and that my dad could risk deportation because they were my sponsors? Is this true? Because I feel like they are constantly using this as an excuse to guilt trip me into doing what they say?
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Old Jul 11th 2016, 7:33 pm
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Default Re: Someone please help. I need answers!

Originally Posted by mattburrows91 View Post
Thank you all for replying so fast.

I am actually on my own health insurance right now through the company I work for and one of the companies I am looking to apply at has a full benefits package.

And yes, I figured as much with them not being able to control where I live and what I do etc. but I tried to tell them this and they wouldn't listen and said that my information was wrong!

They also said that - because I am financing my own car etc that if I lost a job and couldn't make a payment or if I were to get into any trouble.....that the consequences would affect them and that my dad could risk deportation because they were my sponsors? Is this true? Because I feel like they are constantly using this as an excuse to guilt trip me into doing what they say?
You are an adult. You have your own SSN and your own credit score that is linked to it. He is either confused or lying to you.
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Old Jul 11th 2016, 7:38 pm
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Default Re: Someone please help. I need answers!

Originally Posted by mattburrows91 View Post
Thank you all for replying so fast.

I am actually on my own health insurance right now through the company I work for and one of the companies I am looking to apply at has a full benefits package.

And yes, I figured as much with them not being able to control where I live and what I do etc. but I tried to tell them this and they wouldn't listen and said that my information was wrong!

They also said that - because I am financing my own car etc that if I lost a job and couldn't make a payment or if I were to get into any trouble.....that the consequences would affect them and that my dad could risk deportation because they were my sponsors? Is this true? Because I feel like they are constantly using this as an excuse to guilt trip me into doing what they say?
It sounds like your father thinks that because he sponsored your visa that he could be deported if .... x, y, z.

Firstly, even hypothetically, he can't be deported even if you were to became a liability to the state (see below). ... He could be financially liable, but also see below ...

Secondly, you defaulting on a car loan has nothing whatsoever to do with you becoming a liability to the state - which means claiming unemployment pay, social security, etc. So defaulting on your car loan has absolutely zero impact to your father, unless he cosigned for the loan, in which case his liability is purely financial.

And thirdly, the federal and state governments have been very bad at tracking down the sponsors of deadbeat immigrants and making them pay for the costs to the government that the immigrant they sponsor incurred.

In short, as Owen said above, either your father is very confused about what his responsibilities are (very limited and narrowly defined), or he is lying to you.

Bizarrely, your father would be best served by encouraging you to get the best job possible and further your career, but instead he is trying to hamstring you and limit your job opportunities and earning potential.

Last edited by Pulaski; Jul 11th 2016 at 7:59 pm.
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Old Jul 11th 2016, 7:50 pm
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Default Re: Someone please help. I need answers!

Thank you again for the fast responses.
Again, this is just as I thought - but they fail to see facts and do their research as I have.

Luckily for me and for them, neither of them are co-signed on my car payment, it is completely under my name.

Thank you all again for your help! Hopefully I can break free of these chains they keep tightening around me!
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Old Jul 11th 2016, 7:58 pm
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Good luck.
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Old Jul 11th 2016, 7:58 pm
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Default Re: Someone please help. I need answers!

Originally Posted by mattburrows91 View Post
Thank you again for the fast responses.
Again, this is just as I thought - but they fail to see facts and do their research as I have. ...
So just ignore their complaints, don't engage them because it'll be a pointless argument - there is nothing they can do, and almost nothing for them to worry about, including zero risk of deportation.

Maybe your father should invest in a short consultation with an experienced immigration attorney, it may be free, but you could offer to chip in a hundred or so bucks if you are willing to meet him half way.
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Old Jul 11th 2016, 8:57 pm
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Default Re: Someone please help. I need answers!

Originally Posted by Pulaski View Post
Maybe your father should invest in a short consultation with an experienced immigration attorney<snip>
or if it is not just a simple misunderstanding of the 'rules' maybe both book an appointment with a relationship counsellor
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Old Jul 11th 2016, 9:08 pm
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Default Re: Someone please help. I need answers!

Originally Posted by mattburrows91 View Post
Thank you again for the fast responses.
Again, this is just as I thought - but they fail to see facts and do their research as I have.

Luckily for me and for them, neither of them are co-signed on my car payment, it is completely under my name.

Thank you all again for your help! Hopefully I can break free of these chains they keep tightening around me!
To my untrained eye, this has many of the hallmarks of an abusive relationship. Please make sure you have a safe place to go, keep a copy of your immigration/financial/personal documents in a lock box out of their reach. Sad to say this but keep a diary/record of all threats made against you.

I would plan to get your citizenship at the first available opportunity. Get married have a nice life and unfortunately perhaps not talk to your father much.
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Old Jul 12th 2016, 2:43 am
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Default Re: Someone please help. I need answers!

This thread is weird.

From what you post I would think you were 15 or something, not nearly 25.

Dont let him manipulate you like that.
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Old Jul 12th 2016, 10:17 am
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Default Re: Someone please help. I need answers!

Good luck, hope you are able to fulfill your dreams
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Old Jul 12th 2016, 7:31 pm
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Default Re: Someone please help. I need answers!

Matt, your parents seem to be very controlling.
The good news is, as everyone else has said, you're an adult, you're a LPR, and your parents have no control over your immigration status whatsoever.
I agree about becoming a USC as soon as possible.
Enjoy your life with your girlfriend, and I hope you get a great job!
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