social life - church?
 

Hello All,

So, we've been here about 6 months and are struggling a bit. This is our 2nd International move, so we're aware that this timing can coincide with a bit of a dip. So, we want to do something about it...

Our problem is that, despite having met lots of people, both Americans and British (and other) ex-pats, we haven't really made (m)any friends as such. Lots of acquaintances but no friends.

We've been advised by a few people, including fellow countrymen, that the way to solve is is to go to church. Now on the one hand, I'd be happy enough for my kids to get some background in the dominant religion in both UK and US, christianity, but on the other, both my wife and I are fairly committed atheists.

Should we try going to church as a route to meet people and make some friends, or would this be hypocritical, expensive and potnetially unsuccesful?

Any thoughs on this dilemma??

Thanks for any insights or experiences.

Tony

Re: social life - church?
 

Find a Unitarian Universalist congregation.

Re: social life - church?
 

Or stick to your atheist principals and figure that you'll meet good friends given time. We were tempted by the whole church thing at around the 6-month mark, but resisted.

Re: social life - church?
 

I'm quite desperate for friends but haven't gone this far myself.

I imagine a certain amount of commitment would be required and it would get harder and harder to square that with your atheism.

Re: social life - church?
 

We paid a visit to a non-denominational church in July when we came over - it markets itself as 'a church for people that don't like church'........ It was pretty cool, there was a rock band playing the music and all the words were on big screens everywhere.

We didn't go because we wanted to make friends, but more out of curiosity, everyone was very very friendly, no pressure at all and made us very welcome.

Only thing is, no matter how it was wrapped up for us, we're just not religious, and the upshot was that we actually felt hypocritical going there, despite how friendly everyone was.

Are there no meetup groups nearby you could maybe get involved in?

Re: social life - church?
 

Same here.
If you do meet people at church you may find that outside of church you have nothing in common. Far better to hang tight and eventually things will click. Do you have any other interests, eg are there any local clubs or organisations you could join?

Re: social life - church?
 

No clash with UU. You can happily believe whatever you want.

Re: social life - church?
 

:) Have you thought of joining or volunteering at places such as the local museum, arts club, reading group, library, your children's school, Kiwanis, Rotary club, etc? It might be worth a try.

Re: social life - church?
 

Kids? Wonderful way to meet people by taking the kids to school and hanging out in the playground area when you drop them and pick them up. Also volunteering at the school is a good way.

Re: social life - church?
 

Nothing wrong with meeting some Christians from the Pentacostal churches!!

I find it sad also that you do not believe in a God who created this beautiful earth!

Re: social life - church?
 

Quite a dilemma.


What about a bowling league?
:)

Re: social life - church?
 

I hope you're joking with both of your statements. :blink:

Re: social life - church?
 

try www.meetup.com

I arrived here and without the contacts I had back in the UK and found it invaluable....

It's taken a year or so, but I made one or two friends and attend a regular book club that have stood me in good stead...

Re: social life - church?
 

:blink: oh dear.

Re: social life - church?
 

Could get involved with church based events that aren't actually doing the church thing? I know where the grandmother goes, they do a lot of social events at the church for young folks and also to help the elderly or what not that aren't really church based, it's just a rented location....same where we live, the local church is rented for a co-op play group which still costs an arm and a leg mind.

So that could be something. Also check the library, ours has loads of town events posted, some at the library, some at local galleries and these are either town bands, book readings or whatever.

Local YMCA centre might have events posted as well...and also if you live in a small town, they might have a town website with events.