malch

I understand, and that makes it more of a challenge. Caring for special needs can be draining and spending at least a small amount of time doing something unrelated can be very healthy.

BTW, great suggestion on the pediatrician. I find them to be an amazing resource in this country!

kateinbrooklyn

I'm really sorry you're going through this. It must be so tough, especially with a special needs child. I echo what most of the other posters have said: try to meet some other parents. Americans are really not that different from us and many people who live in big cities like LA are from other parts of the USA and are probably missing friends and family too.

sue1973

Thank you for all the replies. I agree that because we're here for 2 years I'm on countdown to leaving, which is sad.
Our middle son is now also hating school - he's not made any friends and sits alone at lunchtime. I feel emotionally wrung out.
We are back in the uk for Christmas, and I'm so looking forward to seeing my mum, but worried I'll not want to get back on the plane to return.
Thank you for listening

mrsbrown1971

We came over on 10th August so are hitting 7 weeks on Thursday. And the honeymoon period is well and truly over. We like you sold everything back in the UK. My husbands visa is for 3 years but it is a permanent job offer and a permanent move. We are to apply for our green cards during this time. My daughter also hates school the pace and rate of work is much heavier and the school days longer. There are no other British kids in her year even though the school assured us there was "loads" in the school but didn't tell us there were none in 8th grade! I worked full time in the UK and I am waiting for my EAD card before I can work here which won't be until about November. I have a husband at work all day and a daughter at school and I'm on my own (other than our dog who we brought over). This is really affecting me and probably making me even more homesick as I was in my last job 10 years and they were my second family. But I know it's not forever. I know I will get a job and my daughter will settle at school. We came in to this with eyes wide open and expected the road to be rough but with the intention of it being "forever". This is where we live now and we no longer refer to the UK as home. I like you feel very very alone but I am on the look out for expat groups and have put my name down at the local library and school as a volunteer. I appreciate this is difficult for you to do due to you having your child to care for. I'd ask at your library for any info on parent and child groups. They seem to know everything! I have regular facetime with my family and this does help. But you are not alone whilst you have us on here. I've been told off friends that have moved abroad that after 3-6 months things get easier. Here's hoping!

Grapes

I started to hit a bit of a rut recently and I've been here 5 months now. Like many others, I sold everything in the UK and went 'all in' to move here; back home I had a great life with a really good career, lovely house, fantastic friends and family which gave me a brilliant social life... but I knew exactly what I was leaving behind so I can't say I'm unhappy, I guess more than anything I'm frustrated.

Waiting for the EAD is a real pain, I think that's probably affecting me more than anything as I've never been out of work before but I know it's just a waiting game. I guess the other
thing for me is not being able to replicate the interests I had back home; I can't follow the rugby team I've watched since I was a kid and join my mates at the games, I can't watch the bands I used to enjoy seeing in the UK as they either don't tour the US or if they do, not in Georgia (totally different type of music taste down here in the South!), there isn't any rallying (motorsport) down here either which is something I'd be involved with at least 10 weekends in a year... these are the things that I am missing the most because they were part of what makes me, me! I just need to get over this and find new things to enjoy because again, I knew all this before I flew out here.

I'm trying to embrace my new life, new friends, new surroundings but until I can fully let go of the old stuff I know that's not going to happen and there's no quick fix, it's just time. It's the same for us all; once we accept that it's gone we can move on. You're definitely not alone, we all go through the same process but many people on here are testament to the fact it does get better. You will be fine, we all will!

Weeze

For you, try finding people. Like others have suggested, meetup, google search for groups near you with common interests. What do you enjoy doing? If you do something here you enjoy you'll find people that also enjoy the same things.

For your son, what does he like to do? Sports, scouts? Try and find him a team to join or a group to join and he'll make friends more easily.

I found myself feeling at home when I made American friends. Can you volunteer at the school? Find a local expat group? (Although I need a mix of expat and US friends). Find a book club? Are there any did work people you can invite over one weekend? Maybe some of their partners would be nice?

Chesten

That's tough on your middle son. Do the school have any ideas to help him? Do they have mentors? I can imagine he might feel a fish out of water and somewhat overwhelmed. I hope he can click with someone soon. Even if he's feeling really low now, it might not take too much for it to turn around. Must be heart breaking for you.

I was similarly worried about returning after a fabulous trip home, 6-months in. I'd been so looking forward to those weeks at home: reconnecting with friends and family, NCT and extended family play dates, familiar places, pubs, nice food - and company/ support. The trip didn't disappoint and I was SO sad to leave. Weirdly though, and I think it's partly because I don't know when the next UK trip will be (probably 18-months earliest) I'm settling back better than ever. I am actually excited to experience fall colours, Halloween, Thanksgiving etc. Proper American things. It's taking time but our neighbours are friendly and I'm feeling more relaxed. Would any of that engage your son? Could you bear to host a small party with some of his classmates? Might get the ball rolling?

And if it is a real wrench to come back after Xmas, you'll be 1/4 of the way through the assignment.

Is your other half offering much emotional support?

veryfunny

Maybe this has already been said but what about using skype or other type of video calls to the UK? watching Youtube videos of the UK, such as travel channels etc. Not perfect but does help.

sue1973

I just want to say thank you to everyone for your replies to my thread. I'm feeling so much better now (we'll have been here 3 months next week), and really enjoying living where we do. Once our furniture arrived from the UK and we started to turn the house into our home it helped enormously. Thank you for all your encouragement 😊
Our only issue now is that our son hates high school, but I'll post a new thread about that!

Ecto17

I am so pleased you are feeling better and settling, that is great to hear. Hope all settles down for your son, huge move and change for him and hopefully like you, he just needs time.

petitefrancaise

Glad to know it's getting better!

stubbzj12

I first moved to the USA when I was still in school. I'll be totally honest, I missed home so much. I missed my friends and family. It got to a point where I was back and forth.

However, I decided to stick with it and as time went on, I became less home sick. I was young at the time, and it's just me and my dad living here. I left all my friends and family behind (mom, brother, sisters, nephews and nieces).

Now, I don't think I will live there (not yet anyway). Don't get me wrong, I sometimes miss the way of life, but it's nothing like homesick at all. I'm totally used to it now, and I believe if you try get through the hardest part, you will be absolute fine. for me it did get a lot easier. Just remember, you are only a flight away. You can see anyone anytime you want to.

Just hand in there for a while. Personally, I think you'll be just fine.

Good luck!

robtuck

On the going back to the UK front, we went back 7 months after our arrival, and while I have loved it from day one I was worried about my wife and children. Within hours of our return we realised we had made a good decision in giving it a go in the USA - quite a few things that had just been part of everyday life started to annoy me :-) Like the dreary sky, the general lack of tidyness (places just looked grubby) and size - everything seemed so much more cramped. The driving was also eye opening - while here it is lazy, in the UK is was amazing how quickly I had switched to an aggressive approach, and felt penned in!

MarylandNed

I agree that you can never really predict anything with much certainty. Bouts of homesickness can come and go. It just takes some event involving family or friends back home to set it off again e.g. wedding, birth, illness, funeral, school reunion, etc. My wife got over her initial homesickness many years ago but it returned with the illness and death of her mother several years ago and now again with her father being ill. I also have parents back home that have health issues. The life of an expat is always one of "what ifs".

stefrocks

Having moved with my family many times for long periods of time and experienced what you are going through first hand, I can tell you that joining a group or church or team is the best thing to cure homesickness. Two months is really the most difficult time and it gets so much better after that, especially when you join a group. I promise it helps a lot. :-)