British Expats - To smite or not to smite?

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To smite or not to smite?

I know this has been posted before, but not for a year or so, so I thought I'd give it another airing - the old ones are always the best :D

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by an American east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet.

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly state it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws
and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is - how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not to Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obliged to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,

Jim

Re: To smite or not to smite?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wintersong

I know this has been posted before, but not for a year or so, so I thought I'd give it another airing - the old ones are always the best :D

]

Having listened to (and disagreed vehemently with at times) Dr. Laura and heard her discuss homosexuality I must say I am surprised...as she has always been very open minded/tolerant of gays.

Your cut and paste does sound just like an episode of "West Wing" when Martin Sheen blasts a character thinly veiled as Dr Laura. Odd how Dr Laura and Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity seem to bother the left so damn much....they don't HAVE to listen to them after all.

Re: To smite or not to smite?

Quote:

Originally Posted by ironporer

You can read all about it here:

http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/drlaura.asp

Still funny though.

Re: To smite or not to smite?

Quote:

Originally Posted by ironporer

It's quite possible that the whole Dr Laura thing isn't true - you know how these internet things get distorted.

Re: To smite or not to smite?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wintersong

It's quite possible that the whole Dr Laura thing isn't true - you know how these internet things get distorted.

Doesn't detract from the content of the letter though. Great post. You're right sometimes the old ones are the best. (That doesn't apply to any of the old goats on this board though :D)

Any for your amusement:

http://www.victorious.org/strnghld.htm

Re: To smite or not to smite?

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaliforniaBride

though. Great post. You're right sometimes the old ones are the best. (That doesn't apply to any of the old goats on this board though :D)

This is not that old ... Fatbrit posted it in March 2005 ...
I wonder who she means????????

Re: To smite or not to smite?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ray

This is not that old ... Fatbrit posted it in March 2005 ...

That may be the case but there is a whole big www out there where things circulate before they filter onto here. Really, you should get out there more often.

Quote:

I wonder who she means????????

Oh now cmon. No need to be coy.

Re: To smite or not to smite?

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaliforniaBride

That may be the case but there is a whole big www out there where things circulate before they filter onto here. Really, you should get out there more often.

Totally mad as a hatter ...