Claire784

Thank you for your kindness. We went home last May and we loved every minute. The kids had a blast with family, and that made coming back here that much harder. I try not to talk to my husband about it because I don't want to burden him with my feelings. He was in the Air Force when we met (stationed in England at the time) so I always knew that moving to the States was on the cards, I just didn't give a thought to how difficult it could get. I only saw the positives. We try and Skype with family as often as we can too, and it's great to be able to do that.

Claire784

I can see what you're saying but there's no way I could give up Corrie. It's the highlight of my week!

ukintexas

Hi Claire784

Jumping in to add my two penneth .

I have been in Houston for just over 6 years, and have up and down bouts of homesickness. I too continue to watch UK TV - Eastenders is my fix! - and the first time I watched it, having been here six months, it actually made me cry!!! All the familiar accents etc - my husband thought I'd lost the plot! I download lots of stuff from UK TV but I find that doesn't make me feel homesick as such - it's just better than watching the 100 channels of shite on cable!!

I think there has been some good advice from the other posters, from which you may be able to draw some things that will work for you - the volunterring, excercising, out for walks etc. It might be that they don't all fit in with where you're at circumstance-wise, but something will and that will at least be a new thing for you to focus on, or try.

When I get homesick these days, I kind of just immerse myself in it, knowing that the intensity of it will pass. I Skype with girlfriends, watch lots of UK TV. Hell, I even search houses where we used to live to see what's on offer! Then the intensity passes and I get back to focusing on what this area/way of life gives me that my old one didn't. That always helps. I'm not one of those people for whom homesickness disappears completely, but I have definitely come to recognise it peaks and troughs.

I get back to the UK about twice a year and although it's always hard to leave friends and family (and lots of Cadbury's chocolate!), it also makes me realize that when I landin Houston, I feel at home too. A different kind of home, but home nonetheless.

Hope your peak of homesickness will be over soon, but in the meantime, feel free to whinge away. That's a great part of what this site can support you through. ((())) Big Hugs.

Claire784

Thank you I appreciate your two penneth.

caleyjag

Are you confident your husband wouldn't feel homesick for the US after moving back to the UK?

Always seems like a difficult balance to get right.

Claire784

No, he prefers the UK. He has no family here and doesn't like the town he grew up in, which is miles away from Utah anyway. He lived outside of the US for 8 years before moving here a couple of years ago. He didn't really want to come back. He has no family ties here, which helps.

Sally Redux

Could he get transferred back to the UK?

Claire784

He may be able to but would possibly have to spend a year in Korea without us and then there's no guarantee. It's looking like a gamble that might be worth the sacrifice.

Sally Redux

Personally I would try to get out while the kids are still young.

Karrie72

Claire, I know just how you feel, you're probably in deep culture shock at the moment not to mention the isolation you experience being a stay at home mum. I think the homesickness comes and goes but for me I find working outside the home hugely distracting. I'm a teacher and the summers and vacations are really hard for me as I can dwell, what a sad do I know lol!

I've been here 20 years and have worked and also stayed home raising three children. I have to say my worst bout of sickness came in three stages and came and went if you will.

Age 19, never been on a plane before land in Alaska and spend 5 years there oh my! Despite the massive adventure I learned all about panic attacks 101 that would occur out of the blue.

Settled and married hubby, had three kiddies who grounded me and met lots of friends. State of mind was; happy... I'll never leave my cozy bubble!

Kids start to grow up, visit home and experience massive unexpected yearning for 'home'. Become completely obsessed with moving home, sad eh?

Bob

The local library will probably have child groups, story time, what have you, check those out, it'll get you out and about and meeting people. Local book shops and cafes might also do story time events.

There might also be a town group for new parents or folks with young kids. Where I am, it's organised by ACCEPT, I believe, it's part of the state education jobby and they list all the towns which have a group. These are free, some are drop in sessions, some are classes...great way to meet people.

The church, don't discount it. They tend to be cheap to rent, so you can find plenty of non-religious groups renting the space to hold meetings. I go to a local Japanese play group a couple times a month, held in the local church. It has nothing to do with religion, but it was the cheapest place the parents could find that already had a bunch of toys to use as the church also has some childcare type groups on some other days. There are also a couple of other churches that hold independent drop in days once a week that are organised by parents that just use the church space because it's central, cheap and has parking.

If you're into exercise, there are plenty of groups that do toddler based trail walking or what not. The local mall might have something. Our local one has child events every week, story time, magic show, that kind of stuff for free, but also every couple of weeks they have yoga time. There's also a load of parents that walk the mall in the morning before it opens because of the heat/AC depending on the season.

Those kids gyms, such as Gymboree, little pricey, but they might have cheap days, one near me for instance is $5 after lunch every Monday.

If you're into crafting, there's probably a crafters guild in the area, so find a knitting group, spinning group, what ever you might be interested in, tends to be cheap/free and something to do with other folks.

Good luck though!

penguinsix

Get-out-of-the-house, anyway you can.

I'm typing from Hong Kong right now, in my apartment and I can safely say that whenever it comes to homesickness is usually takes place within about 10 feet of my current location. When I get out and go and do something--anything, I'm usually too busy to even think about going home. It's only when you sit at home (like when you are sick or something) that it can really come on in waves.

One thing I've done relative to the parents is create a "virtual window" into our house for them to come in. I took an old laptop computer with a webcam and configured a special Skype account only they know. I set up the computer to a) answer automatically when b) only people in my contact list (parents) call and c) to start video immediately.

This has been amazing. It's like the parents are in the other room. They watch the kids all day, they talk them, ask how was school, etc. The kids can see the grandparents just sitting on the screen in the other room and talk to them if they want. "See, I did a drawing today at school". Etc.

It's much much better than having "the call" home which is somewhat forced and limited by schedules and timing. This virtual window allows our parents to just drop in when they want and say hi and watch the kids grow up. I've even heard my mother say "your son didn't eat his vegetables! I saw him put them under the table!" We bought my mother-in-law and iPad just for watching the kids. She easily watches a couple hours a day. She's 'part' of the family virtually and can related to everything that's going on. "Put on your raincoat" she's even said at times.

Of course, it's not the same as being there, but it's definitely a step up from just having "the call" once a week. We only have it in one room so we can still have privacy when wanted, but it is something you might want to consider.

Good luck.

p.s. and this may sound weird, sometimes I just like to watch the webcam of a street in London just to see Taxis and Buses and cars go by, kind of like I was looking out the window. I just make it full screen and set it on a second monitor on the side.

http://www.abbeyroad.com/visit/

http://www.abbeyroad.com/visit/

md95065

I don't want to appear to be too negative about this but remember that she is in Utah - "the church" means LDS - and, while everyone will be terribly nice if you are not "one of them" you will be in no doubt that you are an outsider.

Brat1

Oh Claire, I really think you should talk things over with your hubby. I agree with the other post that if you have a chance of a move back to the UK, it would probably be better when the kids are younger. My guys were 16,12 and 10 when we moved, and believe me, it was not an easy transition for the older 2. I think a good old heart to heart might help, he maybe is blissfully unaware of how depressed and lonely you are feeling, so even a talk about it may help. I'm sending hugs your way, it must be horrible to feel the way that you are and fingers crossed, that you can find some sort of solution. Chin up

Squirrel

Just wondering, but do they have the option to 'buy' yourself out of the US forces the same way they do (or used to?) in the UK? I know my dad bought himself out of the RAF.