Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

In reading through this board and some other expat boards, I'm often struck by some of the sad stories and homesickness that arises by some expats who are just not having a good go of things. It's a rough life as probably anyone here knows.

But what has struck me on more than one occasion is how some of these people often mention "I've had a bit of a history of depression" when talking about their current situation. It seems to come up not always, but a bit more frequently than you would expect.

So it got me thinking--if you had a friend who had a "a bit of a history with depression" would you advise them to be an expat or not? I think some people might think moving might be the best solution for their depression, but it doesn't always seem to be the case.

Any thoughts?

(and no, I'm not depressed, just kind of curious as to how best to help respond to some of the posters who mention this).

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

I don't think there's a black and white yes/no answer to that. It would depend on that person's individual problems.

In general, I think the advice I would give is, "do what feels right for you at this time in your life". Even people who don't have a history of depression can immigrate and become depressed. Likewise, someone who has a history of depression might make this change in their life and turn it all around. I don't think you can predict one way or another.

I think it would be worth giving a try, if they feel it's right for them...if it turns out badly they can always go back or find a different path.

Rene

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

I don't think that there is an easy answer to this.

The people who post on message boards are not necessarily a very representative sample of humanity - almost by definition they all have something that they want to say, or questions that they want answered or things that they want to complain about - and we don't know how many people who might have had a history of depression are now doing just fine because I suspect that it isn't something that they would necessarily post about.

That having been said, I think that it is definitely the case that there are some people who always seem to be unhappy with their job or their spouse or where they live and who think that if only they could get a new spouse / job / place to live all of their troubles would be over and then - if and when they do actually get the new job, or the new partner or move to a new place - they discover that, somehow, all of their troubles and problems seem to have moved with them because, of course, the real problem was with them, not with their environment - and that is an observation from life, not just from internet message boards ...

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

I wouldn't say a person with depression could not make a go of it here BUT research, research, research would be my advice. It seems like many people (not just those with depression) come to the US with false expectations, everyone is going to have some home sickness in one form or another but I think it is possible to prepare yourself for some of it.

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

For USA in particular, there are relatively few who CAN become expats. Of those,some will be depressed and that could be their motivation, and it may or not be the cure. Equally there are some who emigrate through circumstances not of their choosing, and some of those may become depressed, and others thrive.

Not sure the two are related though.

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

speaking from personal expierience of deppression .if a person is deppressed its not a good idea to travel if they are on medication or recieving treatment for it ,as i was before coming here .i made a rash decision coming to the us without a back up plan or funds in the uk to help me incase of problems .i have learned a costly mistake now .

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

I don't know. The stress of moving could trigger depression in someone who had not previously suffered from it, but on the other hand if someone feels very stuck in a rut somewhere then moving might help them. Of course they would need to be sure of availability of medical help.

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

Depression covers a broad spectrum of causes. For example, a woman that suffered post natal depression is probably unlikely to have depression triggered by a new environment on its own - another baby then maybe but that wouldn't be related to the environment necessarily.

Other people are diagnosed with depression but it's not really (GP sick notes like candy); others not diagnosed and probably ought to have been, not that it would have saved a close friend who'd had enough of life.

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

I think what needs to be addressed, is not the depression itself, but the the reasons for the depression:) It just might be possible that some are depressed because they want to move?? Just an idea

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

I'm not an expat (yet), and my experience may be limited due to my age and life experiences, but my opinion is that if you suffer from depression, that will not go away just because you move country. I believe people who suffer from depression would do so whether they live in their own country or live abroad, however when suffering abroad, it's easier to blame the depression on living in a different country, being away from friends/family and away from 'normality'. :)

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

Interesting topic.

In the mid 1990s, I was a Peace Corps Volunteer in Ukraine. A depressing place, especially after the former Soviet Union broke up. Already a grey place...grey sky, grey buildings, grey people. (I know, I know, sounds like Aberdeen...)

Those with a tendency toward depression did not endure the first winter. At that time, 50% of folks went back to the USA. Of the rest, at the end of the two years, we were actually given paperwork to see a psychologist for 10 sessions "in cases of depression or readjustment" - this was done only in the FSU countries upon our being sent home at the end of our term.

Adjustment to difficult, new environments is hard...and many people just aren't able to see different as 'possibly good.'

A lot has a difference as well. For example there is a lovely chap here from London who is lonely and not doing as well as another guy who is thriving here. The former is older (60s) and his wife decided to stay back in London. He's here for one year and..well...counting the days. The other, in his 30s, has his girlfriend here and they are seizing every moment to hike, travel, see anything they can jam in for this year. They don't have time to be homesick or lonely - they make friends wherever they go.

Any change of environment isn't for everyone, even if not an expat. I have an American friend who has history of depression. She keeps to herself and has very few friends to lean on. She wanted to move to Alaska. Friends and family intervened and she did not move up there...now she goes during the good months there and stays a month or so instead. Even she sees that a winter up there alone would only bring on serious depression.

So if my friends or family tend to get into depressions, I do not advise a change in environment as stressful as moving to a new culture. Visit in dribs and drabs then consider moving.

I've been an expat my whole adult life and only recently have spent 2 years here in the states (which was a shock in many ways.) Folks who move every 2 years for decades tend to do it out of experience, not out of thought. We don't quickly grasp the difficulties of someone doing this for the first time at age 40 or 50, or those who tend to be depressed in life and a new environment can trigger that.

Its all about mindset and not to discriminate against those with a history of depression...but if one is prone to such, I certainly wouldn't encourage it unless they had a ton of family support daily until things get routine.

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

Well it certainly doesn't help.

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

It probably has quite a lot do with how you end up in the US. If you move to the US for someone else, for example a marriage to a US citizen or for your spouse's company transfer, you can end up feeling isolated and powerless because you came for them and not really for yourself. I see this a lot on these boards, the spouse who left their life in the UK and never really settled overseas. It seems like it must be a lot of work to uproot your whole family, and then try to make the whole family okay with the situation. An exciting life challenge for one person is an overwhelming burden to another.

However, this can hit someone who's never been depressed before just as hard as it can someone who has been depressed before. If you happen to know that you become depressed when faced with a lot of change, stress, and isolation, it's something you'll have to factor into your decision about whether to make the move.

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

That's what happened to me. I thought I would love the change.

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

At least Ukraine has some pretty hot totty.

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

I agree that the cause(s) of the depression history need to be examined first & foremost before one makes the decision to expatriate. The expat-to-be should look long & hard within to see if this giant move/trauma will be a good one or not, & that involves being honestly investigative about the nature of his/her own depression. That's not so easy to do, but it would seem to be key.

Then, second, research & as much visiting as possible. Even with all this done in advance, however, the mind is a strange thing . . . so there are no guarantees for a depressionless outcome. (And sometimes I suspect a *limited* experience of depression is a useful & necessary step in successfully expatting. But that's just my opinion, based on my experience.)

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

Yeah, you have a point here.

I moved the the US as a means to an end - to get married and to make it easier on my fiancée, who had a child, so they didn't have to go through the rigmarole of moving to the UK. Being fully honest - I have nothing personal against the US but I have no real personal or emotional investment in it either. I'm here because my wife and children are here and that's it. I will always prefer the UK, I think. This, combined with the apparent return of my depression, my normal introverted nature and my tendency to see the glass as half empty, that leads to some dark days.

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

So it went away and returned did it? How did you know it had left when it did? Were you diagnosed and aware enough to understand what was happening?

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

My sister is an interesting example of this.

She first moved to Canada a few years ago and was trying to cope with her various issues without medication. Things didn't work out that well for her work-wise and so coupled with her underlying issues, it was an unmitigated disaster.

She moved back to the UK, got herself together and decided she wanted to give it a second try, this time with the proper medication.

From what I can gather she is now having the time of her life in Calgary and the positive experiences and the great people she has met on this second stint have really helped her battle her anxiety/depression problems.

So I think it can really go drastically either way depending on the circumstances.

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

It probably never went away, it was just a case of not being symptomatic, probably.

Of course I was diagnosed, in the UK. I'd not say I had it in the first place if I weren't.

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

Not sure you can generalize on this, but I do think that life in the US is more stressful than life in the UK. Lack of universal healthcare and a social safety net, for example. Or employment laws that are way more tilted in favour of employers than in the UK. So, I certainly wouldn't advise anyone to move to the US who has difficulty in dealing with stress.

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

Very good point.

Not to mention the additional safety net offered by friends and family, which you have to build up again from scratch.

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

The only difference we are talking about is between those who have a diagnosis, and those who have not.

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

I have a history of depression that involved medication and fairly extensive treatment.

I emigrated to the US about 10 years after my last major bout of depression (not counting some minor PND) and am very happy here. I've no idea if it will come back, but I don't see it being any more difficult to cope with here than in the UK - if anything I'd say it's easier to access treatment here. Accessing counselling/psychotherapy through the NHS is incredibly difficult.

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

Mate, no offence, my questions were purely of an inquisitive nature as the only other person I have spoken with who deals with depression is back home in England.
I, myself was diagnosed a few years ago and have been on many different types of happy pills. Nowadays one in particular seems to make things quite workable.

I went undiagnosed for 20yrs until I finally took my Wife's advise and went and talked to a Dr. This was because admitting to "depression" was basically equal to massive personal failure. It still feels a bit that way even now.

Long story short, it is now quite clear that depression has always been there and tied to so much trouble and pain in the past. Have never been to a shrink to discuss the hows and why's. In fact, the Doc never asked about the cause - he just prescribed based upon symptoms - which suits me fine as I'd only feel comfortable discussing these things with another foreigner anyway.

I quite clearly understood what you said in your post, by the way.

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

Not to worry, none taken.

My doc prescribed based on symptoms too. I'd rather pull out all my fingernails than 'talk about it' to a perfect stranger, of course. I've a pretty strong aversion to that whole world and it sounds like exactly the kind of wank an American doctor would try to force on me so I'll just embrace the misery as my punishment for moving here in the first place.

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

Punishment.......or doing time?
Sometimes it feels like doing time. Trouble is, when it does, my black dog doesn't let me see anything else around me. It gets pretty damn dark.
Does that make sense?

I'm not really sure, but I have the feeling that when the day comes to return home, its going to be unlike anything else that has gone before.
To be honest, I can walk down the High St of my town and feel completely at ease - you know, just one of the crowd. It takes a few days to re-adjust, but after a week or so it seems like America simply doesn't exist. Except, I know it does as my own family is there doing the things we do every day. Its actually quite odd - like I'm in a parallel universe for a short while.

Fearless Pioneer, Castaway or Jail-bird - I suppose it depends on which way the wind is blowing.

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

I do know what you mean, there. That's how I felt when I last went back too.

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

Me too.

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

I haven't posted before in this thread because I've posted many times about how moving here has affected me. I've been through a few bad times but nothing ever got me down. I am quite a strong person...if necessary I can sit myself down and give myself a good talking to and sort myself out. After moving here I found that no longer worked...I couldn't rationalise what was happening to me. The last thing I wanted was to talk to a doctor...that would be admitting failure and I couldn't do that...I still can't do that. St John's Wort helped me tremendously...I sometimes have black days...when I do I take 3 SJW tabs and they lift my mood.

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

I thought I was a strong person but I crumbled like a house of cards when I came here. The good thing is it has made me have more compassion.

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

I think the hardest part was that I no longer had over control my emotions. I could tell myself how lucky I was, what a great place this was, what a great experience it was etc etc...but for some reason I wasn't listening. :blink:

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

:lol:

You're supposed to be able to talk yourself into being positive etc according to those crappy self-help books.

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

I can't say I talk myself into being positive...but I can give myself a good talking to (as me old mum used to say). I can tell myself to pull myself together...get over it and move on.

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

That is different from clinical depression, a dark cloud which has no rationality.

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

I didn't want to get out of bed...I wanted to pull the duvet over my head and sleep so I didn't have to deal with the day. I couldn't see beyond the day. I didn't know how I would get through the day. If my husband said anything to me I would burst into tears. That sure felt like depression to me.

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

Oh it probably was, just making the point you (one) can't always move on by force of will.

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

Yeah that was my point. Before we moved here I could always move on by force of will...then all of a sudden I was a crumbling wreck and I had no control over it/myself.

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

This is what makes it so difficult to advise prospective expats. No-one really knows how it will affect them until they do it.

Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?
 

Well now I'm a bit curious.

Does anyone you know with a history of depression (diagnosed or not) back in the UK come to the US and seen a dramatic improvement? Has a change of scenery done them good?