Soontomove

Hi there,
My family and I will be moving to New York towards the end of the year.
I have 3 children, currently in UK year 5, 3 and Reception.
My husbands work, although generous with their relocation package, will not pay for private or international schooling. Even though our kids are in private school in the UK, the difference in fees over there make it impossible.
Reading up about the American school system, I have real concerns about putting my kids in there. By all accounts they are about 2 years behind. My eldest daughter will take her 11+ exam before we go (which she's expected to pass) and I can't quite get my head around giving up a grammar school place for an American middle school which isn't all that.
I've been looking at the reading and writing and maths proficiency of some of the reputable schools out there and I'm shocked by the low figures! I understand there are some excellent schools in the NY area but if we move to an american school system but then move back to the UK in 3 or 4 years, I have no idea whether her education will be sufficient for her to move forward with her uk class mates.
I'm wondering whether we should find a school which follows the International Baccalaureate to keep her International rather than American but of course, it will be taught at an American school.
I'm really concerned about this, it's keeping me awake at night and is putting a real dampener on our move there.
Does anyone have any advice or experience regarding this?
Thanks

mrken30

I heard yesterday that NYC proposes to give every 3 year a free place in pre-school. This is not day care, these will be run by qualified teachers. They already provide this for 4 year olds. That is better than the UK system.

Rete

Doubt this poster will be moving to NYC but rather to the 'burbs. But that is great news for New York City families. Up until now, pre-schools in lower NYS are limited to children of improvised households. Many Westchester schools participate in the STEM program and that is from grammar school through high school. My granddaughter tested in the second grade at 99% of the national scoring and reads on a senior high school level for reading and comprehension and is currently participating in the STEM program in her school district in lower Westchester County. I know her parents paid for pre-school for years 3 and 4 until she went into kindergarten at the local JCC. She was reading by age 3 without having been formally taught. She is not alone in achieving high percentages on a national level in her school district.

Englishmum

Will your spouse be working in NYC or NY State? (If he's going to be in Manhatten, where is the office located....eg. Midtown or the financial district?) If he doesn't want to spend hours commuting you need to bear this in mind when you choose where you are going to live.

My spouse works in Times Square and we live in the New Jersey suburbs, which is approx an hour door-to-door by taking the train to NY Penn Station on the NJ Transit Midtown Direct trains (there are also trains to Hoboken for the PATH subway trains and ferries to lower Manhatten/financial district). It's one of the best public school districts in the States and there are excellent schools in nearby towns too.

We chose not to live in Westchester county as we wanted to be near an international airport....Newark (EWR) is just 15-20 minutes away.

I suggest you check out the township websites for these NJ towns: Millburn, Summit, Chatham, Madison (all on the Midtown Direct - you can see the schedules on New Jersey Transit - Home) and also Westfield, Ridgewood and Ho Ho Kus which also have good public schools.

Also check out the relocating to the US blog compiled by anEnglish realtor I know (she's really nice) who lives in the area (her Brit spouse commutes into NYC too) - she lives in Maplewood-South Orange and has children in public and private schools:

New Jersey Expat Guru - lots of info for potential expats

Hope this helps

Pulaski

<<<SNIP>>>


FWIW I agree with many of her concerns, and have frequently posted in the past about the ill-advisability of moving children between school systems during their teenage years, or even 2-3 years ahead of that, so definitely impacting at least the eldest.of her children.

My personal advice would be for the OP to stay in the UK with her children and have her husband come to the US alone to work. His family could come to visit during school holidays. Many of us here have survived several years of long distance relationships, ironically including Rete herself!

Giantaxe

I agree. I don't think I would have wanted to move my children to and from the US school system starting at the age of the OP's oldest. However, iirc, your - and others - concerns, are more to do with the differences between the two systems rather than a blanket statement of "By all accounts they are about 2 years behind." When added to the OP's comment that "My eldest daughter will take her 11+ exam before we go (which she's expected to pass) and I can't quite get my head around giving up a grammar school place for an American middle school which isn't all that (sic).", it certainly made me wonder how the oldest child in this move would be impacted by their parent's (or perhaps parents') views.

RollingStones

For what it's worth, we're just beginning our own relocation process and our children are 11 and 13.

Our children's education is our single biggest concern so the last thing we want to do is screw that up. Yet, at the same time both of us saw it as an incredible opportunity, one that the majority of kids would never have.

So we decided to go ahead with it. Get ourselves into the best area possible for schooling, and utilise all the support available to make sure that happens including ensuring in unequivocal terms that the company (we're going on an L1 visa) are aware of that. My eldest will hopefully go onto an IB programme but it's not necessary until we come home. She would completely bypass GCSE's and go straight into the IB pre uni. I think yours are too young to worry about that.

In the end you've gotta play what's in front of you. And I don't believe it's just about their education per se but also the support and experience we can give our kids too. A new cultural perspective is priceless IMHO

Goodluck

mrken30

My 4 yo is enrolled into an IB school, so I'm not sure if you can be too young

petitefrancaise

The IB curriculum is based on the UK GCSE and A level ones. The AP one is not. There are some overlaps but they aren't the same - the IB goes into more depth. In my kids' case, they studied Pre-IB grades 9 +10 then into the 2 year IB diploma in grade 11. Apart from physics, the IB programme covers most of the AP syllabus allowing the kids to take the AP exams as an added extra without the added work.

Physics SL and HL IB is not as good as the AP course.

So, in a long winded fashion I'm recommending that if you think your child will be studying the IB diploma in the UK, it might not be a bad idea to start with Pre-IB over here.

RollingStones

I'd agree. However, we weren't impressed with the IB options availble to us in Phildelphia either. Therefore I contacted the IB school here for advice, anticipating that's where she'll come back to. Their advice; kids attend their school with all kinds of background, many from the mainsteam American system.
If all goes pear shaped, she can come back to her current school too. I've spoken at length with teaching staff and they've been positive. Both our children are academically inclined and self-assured. No doubt a move would impact on her GCSE's to some extent but she'll have gained so much more too.

In the end we decided to deal with what was in front of us. Now we're excited.

petitefrancaise

Good grief. I hope your daughter is as blasé. I suspect a change of heart once you have realised how much work is involved from your child just to move one way. I moved my children, my eldest child did nothing except work for the whole of the first year of school. She came from France where the education is indeed superior to that of the USA ( I can say this since I have direct experience and not just "everyone says").

Moving a teenage child once in their education is one thing, but twice???? If you know this is going to happen then do your utmost to ensure continuity. This is where the IB comes in very handy indeed.

This attitude reminds me of the hideous "kids are resilient" comment I heard many times from parents throwing their only english speaking kids into french middle/high school. There is a limit to resilience and until you know the differences between here and the USA, I can't see how you can be so blasé.

RollingStones

Far from it. If I'm coming across as blase I really haven't expressed myself very well.

RollingStones

Too often I am surprised by the ease with which forum posters place value judgements upon people they don't know. I mistakenly assumed that given the benefit of an alternative perspective people on a forum such as this would feel differently.
If I am sounding defensive, perhaps it's because I am.
In the last three years our close knit community, of a small market town, has lost two women to brain tumours. Both of them mothers of school aged children; one was my daughters Guide Leader with two teenage daughters, the other was a mum of 4 school aged children. Both died within a year of diagnosis leaving behind devastated families, friends and a much sadder, poorer community. They were of similar ages to me, our children at school together.
One of my daughters classmates is currently being treated for non-Hodgkin lymphoma, very often he's not in school because he's either receiving treatment or he's too sick. Every day he manages to get to school the kids are reminded of the fact their friend has cancer because he has no hair. My daughter says he's one of the nicest boys she knows and he helps her with maths.
Less than 4 weeks ago, living literally around the corner from us, a young mother with bi-polar disorder stabbed and killed her 4 year old son in their home. It gives me goosebumps when I think that I was here, only a few doors away, merrily sitting with my lap top, doing housework or some inane activity when a small boy lost his life in what must have been terrifying circumstances.
Maybe because of what we've all witnessed, my family have all received nothing but encouragement towards the opportunity presented to us from our close community including schools.
We know life cannot be taken for granted, it is there for living, and to the best of our ability. I have just withdrawn from my PhD study 5 months in because it's not transferable to another university. A huge decision for me. In the end we've had to weigh up which one of us had the better opportunity.

So really, as you have no idea, how can you be in a position to call me blase?

petitefrancaise

You know, this thread started off on the wrong foot.

The regular posters on here know that usually I am very helpful and positive about bringing teenagers to the USA. My experience has been a very positive one, with some pitfalls along the way which we coped with.

However, it is far from an easy thing to do successfully - definition of success? Happy kids with full lives getting good grades at school which will give them lots of choices for their next stage.

The bit about your story that worries me is that you are planning on doing this upheaval twice in those precious teenage years. I just asked my 18 yr old son (moved here when he was 14) what he thought about this. "Don't do it" was what he said without a moments hesitation. He continued with, " it's really hard to settle in at school, get a grip on the schoolwork, make new friends - just really struggling through everything. And they won't do it if they know they are leaving again in a few years. Why don't they just stay here?"

Your friends/acquaintances in your small town can advise you all they like but have they done what you are planning on doing? I suspect not or you would not have needed to come on BE.

I can understand you wanting to move,it sounds like you've been really unlucky where you live and yes, life is precious and a good opportunity to experience something new is great. But please don't underestimate the difficulty of moving kids into and out of education systems and starting new lives. School policy and education is set by the "district" - a very local level indeed. American parents are very, very anxious about moving kids from one district to another for various reason (gpa etc) never mind moving states or from another country.

Is there any chance of getting a green card sponsorship for your family written into the contract with work? I am all for keeping options open and having a green card ( right to permanent residence) definitely does this. If the company demur then a discussion about bringing teenage kids is in order with them. I would not have moved my family without this.

Englishmum

I think the original poster has been scared off!