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Returning to the UK to get Married

Returning to the UK to get Married

Old Jul 10th 2013, 5:20 pm
  #16  
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Default Re: Returning to the UK to get Married

Originally Posted by princessconsuela View Post
Thanks everyone for your replies!

The religious part is very important to me and I can't face the idea of getting married just the 2 of us without everyone there and no church. I'll give it some more thought though. Maybe if I can separate the legal and spiritual portions in my head then I might come around. I think it would be a last last resort though.

My green card application is EB-2 so I'm still planning to go through the employment based route. I certainly hope it's approved in the next year! It's already been long enough!

I've been contacting some churches and it seems like the Church of England has a lot of hoops to jump through. There are no decent reception venues near my local church so I was hoping to get a church near the venue we choose but, as we have no "ties" to that church it looks like we'll need a "special licence" from the Archbishop of Canterbury. The yourchurchwedding.org website says that could take 18 months for one of those, and they're not guaranteed! That's insane - it's almost as bad as trying to get a green card! Haha! I can't wait that long!

Whereas, if I got married in my local Methodist church there would be very few hurdles. But can you really then make guests drive an hour to the reception!? I have an appointment with the Rev. at the C of E church I am looking at when I'm back in the UK next week. Hopefully they can give me some good advice on how to proceed...

larrabee, thanks for the info on the visa, that portion looks totally doable!

Thanks again!
As a precautionary note, if it takes too long to get approval and arrange everything for the wedding and you lose you H1-B job, you may have to return to the UK and spend the 8-10 months waiting for an immigrant visa.
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Old Jul 10th 2013, 6:14 pm
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Default Re: Returning to the UK to get Married

Originally Posted by Michael View Post
As a precautionary note, if it takes too long to get approval and arrange everything for the wedding and you lose you H1-B job, you may have to return to the UK and spend the 8-10 months waiting for an immigrant visa.
I know, this whole thing is a land of limbo, I try not to let the "what if's" drag me down. If that does happen then I'll just have to return to the UK and drag the future husband with me!
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Old Jul 10th 2013, 6:23 pm
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Default Re: Returning to the UK to get Married

Originally Posted by Pulaski View Post
Ask the CofE vicar/rector about the "special license" route, because it can (could?) be fast-tracked in days not months. Our local vicar, back in the 80's was a bit scatter-brained, and he forgot to read the banns of marriage on the required three occasions (not for us, I just heard about the case), and was able to get a special license at just a few days notice. More recently than that, I think my sister married under special license in the cathedral where my mother worships, and it didn't appear to be a big deal, nor require an excessive lead time.
Thanks, I'll do that! It does seem to be a mountain out of a mole hill situation (maybe I'm creating it though!). I know tons of people who got married in churches not in their parish and didn't establish a connection with the church - they didn't appear to have too much trouble! I also know a couple where the bans were read in the church they were getting married in but not their local church and I know they had a drama with it, it sounds like maybe they had to get a special licence in a hurry too...

I'm feeling calmer about it all now!
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Old Jul 10th 2013, 6:27 pm
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Default Re: Returning to the UK to get Married

Originally Posted by princessconsuela View Post
I know, this whole thing is a land of limbo, I try not to let the "what if's" drag me down. If that does happen then I'll just have to return to the UK and drag the future husband with me!
I see that you already have him trained.
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Old Jul 10th 2013, 7:15 pm
  #20  
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Default Re: Returning to the UK to get Married

Originally Posted by princessconsuela View Post
Thanks, I'll do that! It does seem to be a mountain out of a mole hill situation (maybe I'm creating it though!). I know tons of people who got married in churches not in their parish and didn't establish a connection with the church - they didn't appear to have too much trouble! I also know a couple where the bans were read in the church they were getting married in but not their local church and I know they had a drama with it, it sounds like maybe they had to get a special licence in a hurry too...

I'm feeling calmer about it all now!
Anecdotally, I hear it is heavily dependant on the individual vicar at the church; some more or less refuse to marry non C of E members, others will marry more or less anyone, and of course most are somewhere in between.

I suspect that much of the difference is explained by the financial health of the roof/tower/organ repair fund! .... Not that I would imply that a donation to the fund might grease the wheels. .... I would never think of such a thing!
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Old Sep 19th 2013, 3:31 pm
  #21  
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Default Re: Returning to the UK to get Married

I wanted to update this in case anyone in the future has the same situation!

In the end it looks like we can get married in a church in the UK! The Church of England has a lot of hoops to jump through but in fairness they are part of the legal requirements. You need to have a "qualifying connection" to the church which could be one of several things. Some connections are; you have lived in the parish, have attended regular worship at the parish, your parents attended regular worship, and a few other things.

The only option for us to get the qualifying connection is to send my parents to the church for 6 months, which they are very happy to do, so we are lucky! Then my fiance will need to get a visa to enter the country for the wedding. We'll have to arrive in the country 2 weeks before the wedding to sign an affadavit and get a licence. This will replace the banns readings as we don't live in the country.

There may be some things I missed so let me know if you have any questions!

In summary it will be a pain in the arse but worth it I'm sure. It would have been much easier to get married in the US but there we go!
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Old Sep 19th 2013, 4:05 pm
  #22  
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Default Re: Returning to the UK to get Married

Originally Posted by princessconsuela View Post
I wanted to update this in case anyone in the future has the same situation!

In the end it looks like we can get married in a church in the UK! The Church of England has a lot of hoops to jump through but in fairness they are part of the legal requirements. You need to have a "qualifying connection" to the church which could be one of several things. Some connections are; you have lived in the parish, have attended regular worship at the parish, your parents attended regular worship, and a few other things.

The only option for us to get the qualifying connection is to send my parents to the church for 6 months, which they are very happy to do, so we are lucky! Then my fiance will need to get a visa to enter the country for the wedding. We'll have to arrive in the country 2 weeks before the wedding to sign an affadavit and get a licence. This will replace the banns readings as we don't live in the country.

There may be some things I missed so let me know if you have any questions!

In summary it will be a pain in the arse but worth it I'm sure. It would have been much easier to get married in the US but there we go!
Congratulations on making it work for you!

I am always pleased to hear when someone has managed to avoid the need for an unseemly, albeit convenient, dash to the court house.

Last edited by Pulaski; Sep 19th 2013 at 4:07 pm.
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Old Sep 19th 2013, 4:19 pm
  #23  
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Default Re: Returning to the UK to get Married

Originally Posted by Pulaski View Post
Congratulations on making it work for you!

I am always pleased to hear when someone has managed to avoid the need for an unseemly, albeit convenient, dash to the court house.
Unseemly, lol. The Registrar's chapel in Aberdeen was a sweet, sober place with lovely old wood and stained glass windows, and we had a very small wedding, basically an elopement, because we were both a plane flight from home. And we're atheists; for what do we need to darken the door of a church?
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Old Sep 19th 2013, 4:27 pm
  #24  
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Default Re: Returning to the UK to get Married

Originally Posted by Speedwell View Post
Unseemly, lol. .....
It was the "dash" that's unseemly (IMO), not the venue!

High tailing it to the courthouse always seems to me to have echos of shotgun weddings and Las Vegas wedding chapels at 1am, or some combination thereof.
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