Hrjrw

We are thinking abt moving from UK to the US, NJ later on this year (summer 2023).
with a 16yr old who is currently doing his GCSE so should enter Y12 in the Uk ( so A Level) in Sept 23.
and. a 14 yr old who will enter Y10 in Sept 23


Any British school in NJ ?
or American versus Ib system ?
My 16 yr old is really good in Maths and Science, much weaker in English and all litterature / humanity subjects.

Any advices please ? Anyone with similar experience ?Thanks

imacd

I would recommend looking into your 16 yr old attending a local community college for a couple of years and working toward his Associates Degree, before transferring to a decent 4 year university, although it will be a lot less than 4 years having completed his Associates. He/she could take additional online courses from Universities (more expensive and often more difficult than those same courses offered at community colleges), but you need to make sure they will be accepted as part of his Associates Degree requirement, this may help with entrance to a good 4 year college. I would not recommend going into grade 12 or the Senior Year of a local US high school, unless willing to take 3 AP subjects of interest, like AP Calculus AB or BC, AP Chemistry and one of the AP Physics options. Even then, although better prepared for college, he/she may not "graduate" high school and "walk" with his friends unless also taking some ridiculous required classes as well, such as; health, us history etc. However, if you pass with at least 5 GCSE's including math & english, I suspect this will allow entrance to a Community College and even possibly some less vigorous 4 year colleges (universities).

Your 14 yr old would enter either US grade 9 or 10, depending on age/ability. Either grade is a reasonable entry point in the US system, as grades 9-12 count towards high school graduation. If fairly bright and/or ambitious, I would request grade 10, although they might then have to take a couple of high school classes on line from grade 9, which really is not a big issue.

Good luck with your adventure, enjoy the ride, and do not hesitate to research or ask questions on many topics through this site. There are some amazing and knowledgeable people more than willing to help.

christmasoompa

Hi, welcome to BE.

Is this a permanent move, or a temp one for work? Not sure whereabouts in NJ but there's the British School in NYC that offers both GCSE's/A Levels and the IB program, so that might be worth a look if you'll be close and don't plan to stay permanently?

One other thing to note - if your child might want to return to the UK for university, it's likely he will have to pay international tuition rates as he has to be in the UK for 3 years before applying to qualify for UK rates. It's just another thing to factor in when costing up the move, or to negotiate if you'll be moving on an expat deal with a company.

Good luck.

Pulaski

This question, of moving teenagers, is oft-asked here on BE, with a variety of recommendations. Historically, there have been a small number of horror stories with some children not settling, not fulfilling their academic potential, and/or either returning to the UK as soon as they're able, or in one extreme case I recall, dropping out, becoming a dug addict, and their life turning into a train wreck.

Considering being a teenager is a emotionally turbulent time of life anyway, with children having formed friendships that may last a lifetime, personally I would sooner remove my right arm with a rusty hacksaw than move our 15 year old daughter between schools, never mind incompatible education systems in different countries. Consider what alternatives there might be for your 16 year old, at least, to remain in the UK, such as living with relatives or friends, until he has finished his A levels.

Jerseygirl

Welcome to BE.

Are you or your husband a US citizen? If not what visa will you be using to move to the US?

I lived in NW NJ for almost 20 years, if you are looking in that area I would be pleased to answer any questions you may have. NJ is one of the most expensive states in the US for just about everything.

Re children…our daughter was 11 when we moved in 1996. When it came to choosing uni we ignored advice that we were given. That was…the area that they chose for uni, is probably the area they will settle/live in after graduation. FWIW, given the age of your children, I would not move them to the US.

Mic1

Unnecessary post Pulsaki. The OP doesn't need to read such negative comments. We are moving in a month's time with a 14 year old, 2 years later than planned due to covid and no parent needs to read this sort of scaremongering.

Pulaski

Yeah, everyone should expect nothing but positive comments and cheerleading, no matter how ill-advised or poorly thought out their plans are.

Not.

It is my general understanding that people come here to the BE forum for advice and shared experiences of those who have already trodden the road that they are about to set out on, not for posts filtered through rose-tinted spectacles.

Mic1

Rediculous attitide.
Maybe with good parenting skills, patience and guidance, other parents wouldn't have to resort to having to......... 'personally I would sooner remove my right arm with a rusty hacksaw than move our 15 year old daughter between schools, never mind incompatible education systems in different countries'

Pulaski

And suggesting that only cheerleading posts are acceptable isn't?

Get real!

Mic1

Get some sleep (or therapy). You clearly need it.

Mic1

All i'm saying Pulsaki is that a move with kids at any age is possibly the most traumatic situation to ever contemplate as a parent in case issues like you mention arise, let alone at the age of my eldest and the ages of the OP kids. Our eldest has had some emotional issues in the past so we accept that potentially, the next 6 months to a year are going to be difficult to navigate. Of course, you have to be realistic that negative issues might arise but at the same time, you have to enter into this type of thing with a realistically positive attitude otherwise problems will raise their heads because, arguably, to carry a mindset like you convey will undoubtedly lead to challenges.
You struck a nerve,l but i do stick by what i wrote, the context of your post was unnecessary and felt you could have put your point across in a more objective way, with wording that was a bit more measured, that's all.
Best,

tht

I moved house 10+ times before I went to university, and schools 4 or 5 times. I was lucky as the middle child of the the first 3 my parents timed the moves so that I would start a new school as we moved, my older and younger were always a year off which was harder. The first of those moved was from Germany to the UK, so I also had to learn english when I started my new school in the UK.

Having been through that and having lived in 6 different countries growing before I
married I would not do that to my own sons out of choice. I spent 2+ years commuting to London from NYC weekly to avoid a move and have turned down jobs that would have had a significant increase in comp even after tax. If something changed and forced me to do it, I would deal with it, but given a choice even for significantly more money I would not do it to them, especially once they become teenagers and form proper friendships. But that is only me speaking from personal experience, not theory.

Glasgow Girl

I have the opposite thoughts. I bounced around the world as a kid and believe that ultimately as an adult I benefited big time from that. Having to start from scratch in new scenarios and make new friends on a regular basis meant that I developed self confidence, independence and social skills that paid dividends as an adult. Yes, I suffered from a lack of lifelong childhood friends but on the other hand I learned to embrace the here and now and get on with life as it present itself real-time. It will be different for different kids. I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer. As with everything there are pros and cons and as a parent you know your kids best and make the best decisions you can for the family as a whole and for the long term.

Mic1

Thanks Glasgow Girl, reassuring words but i also take on board what tht wrote, both make a good point.
I think for our particular situation, it's probably as close to a 'no brainer' as you could get. Our eldest (like many) simply hibernates or would do if given half the chance over winter, so the prospect of dropping her into nearly perpetual sunshine in Orange County we hope, will pay dividends with her mental state. Or it may not but it's a decision we have 100% included the girls in the process of, When weighing up the pros and cons, one thing that she remarks often is what would her older self want her to do and the answer she gives herself is a definitive yes, Of course though, if the destination was a place with a somewhat gloomy climate, it might not be such a good idea.
I will without a doubt feedback to BEP as to the trials and tribulations of the girls, hopefully someone else can benefit, we all know moving abroad is traumatic enough for anyone to deal with, especially when kids of a certain age are involved.
Best,

tht

Agree with this, and I think it’s also what had me move to Sweden, NZ, Ireland and then the US.

So I guess my parents are reaping what they have sown. Of the 4 kids only 1 still lives in the the UK, so they don’t get to see 2/3rds of their grandchildren that often.

My wife is a USC, so we have her parents and sister here, I think the bigger deal is when you have the whole family of immigrants who have no one here, that lack of support/family is what I have seen driving people back even after they have been here a few years and become PR’s.