Triumphrob

Im Naturalized (1st wife was American) in 1991
My current wife is Chinese

anotherlimey

I have to fly around too; although I like Chicago it's not a place I would want to settle, I don't like Atlanta very much either. But I did think San Francisco, Portland and Seattle were nice, those places didn't exhibit some of the things I dislike about Chicago.

Lord Lionheart

I've been in the US since 1987, pros and cons like anywhere. I question my decision constantly, the main considerations currently for me are;

1. Parents getting older - Mom is in declining health.
2. 10 Nieces and nephews I never see and have missed growing up, I don't know them, not too late for the younger ones?
3. American freinds - I don't have any, even though I have been here nearly 20 years, I have had some, but they come and go. I think you are still viewed as a foreigner underneath the thin, freindly veneer. My girlfriend is also European, so it might have been different had I met an American girl? Most of my freinds are English and many have since moved back, the rest are either Hispanic's (Argentina, Mexico, Chile or first generation sons of foreign born parents).
4. Have a 17 month old son, do I want to raise him in the States? Will I be able to relate to him as much as if he is raised in the UK - also think this might be selfishness on my behalf?
5. Never see my 3 sisters - well once a year maybe?

Triumphrob

3. American freinds - I don't have any, even though I have been here nearly 20 years, I have had some, but they come and go. I think you are still viewed as a foreigner underneath the thin, freindly veneer.

Yeah, I have still have better, dearer and more friends in England. Why is it so difficult to make friends with Americans. My (Chinese) wife has the same problem!!

anotherlimey

Isn't that weird.

I'm 24, I haven't been here that long and I'm finding it difficult to make friends. All the people my age where I live are still living with their parents who pay for everything, they have no idea what it's like outside the US and couldn't give two s***s about anyone but themselves; unless you're driving a nice car they don't want to know you.

Dimsie

Hi Franklin

I'm feeling much the same as you just now. I've been here for 5 months, and am fighting homesickness. Even though I have no family left in the UK, I still feel the same pull. I've decided to take a quick trip back and last week I booked a flight for just after Easter, and will stay just 4 nights in Manchester. This might help or it might not - we shall see!
Hope you feel better about things soon.

NC Penguin

Maybe your location is a deterrent for both you and your family to see each other. If you were closer to the UK, this may encourage more frequent visits. e.g. you visiting them and them visiting you in the US.




NC Penguin

Dan725

I have some American friends, mainly through either the wife or hobbies I do. They are not a bad bunch, but I do get the impression that generally, the Americans are not so close as Brits get. I don't know, maybe thats just becasue I'm not from here originally, but I'm more inclined to think its got a lot more to do with the spread out distance and the "schedule" mentality.

I get the impression Americans are very quick to make friends, but once made, thats pretty much it, everyone becomes a name ("a friend" even!) in the phonebook and gets called at random! It seems to be the fast way of life, distances to drive and living by the mobile phone that is perhaps to bane of society. The Americans are fanatical about their "schedules", I mean, they schedule time with their friends, time for this, time for that, time to take a dump - bloody hell, I think they just need to stop being obsessive about timings and schedules and just go with the flow sometimes. Everything has got to be an "Event", i.e, you have to get it in the program to have fun and plan everything. I think they just try too hard sometimes!

Lizzi

For me it was a good idea to move here. It has been a great experience, even though it has been tough at times. We have not made any real friends or integrated into the have-have lifestyle. However, I have loved living in a different country and doing lots of travelling, because I have always known I would never stay here forever. Now we have to make the decision about when to go back to the UK (without jobs), now that's the hard bit.

Lord Lionheart

You've hit the nail on the head with the schedule thing, I've been to quite a few parties and BBQ's over the years with both Brits and Yanks attending - The Yanks are always 'stopping by' and have another place to go, generally leaving when things are just getting started, as they have work tomorrow or have to stop by another BBQ, party, etc............ The Brits drain the keg, and have to be kicked out at 3 in the morning piss drunk

TouristTrap

You hit it on the head.

I think that as we get older, we suddenly realize that our parents are not immortal and go through those times of indecision. It is extremely hard.

Pimpbot

I haven't been here as long as some of you(nearly 2 years). But I have never once been homesick and the only time I see Americans any different to the people I interacted with in the UK, is when I come here and read these forums. Sure we have our differences, but I think some people just look for things to show how different we can be. I'm enjoying life more than ever, but it has nothing to do with where I live, what I drive, how much bigger my house is and how many friends I have. I've bumped into many Brits since living here and 99% of them just piss and moan about anything and everything.

ImHere

As do a lot of Americans on the Amercian-ex pat sites about living in Britain.
Its a natural relief to those missing the things they know.

I think you're very lucky (probably luckier than you realise) not ever suffering from homesickness...its a pretty bad thing to get. I hope you never get it, but if you do - suddenly as sometimes happens - remember the above.

I guess we all adapt differently. Some fit right in from the word go. Some dont. Some stay. Some go home. Some stay then go home. Doesnt mean anyone particular reaction is right. They are all valid, human reactions to being thrown in the deep end of life.

We all have different requirements out of life too.

We had a large dose of culture shock at first but got over it. Now we are happy.

Franklin

Thanks everyone for your kind words of support. Something Brits are very good at. Much appreciated.

I'm just in some kind of mood I guess, wondering why the hell I came here in the first place. Just feels like it is too much bother. Big bills, lack decent dwellings, drive an old tank ... so I can't say I have reached the post-materialistic stage!

Yep ... part of it. I brought my mother over here (USA) because I couldn't stand knowing she was suffering all alone (back in the UK) with severe arthritis and only able to carry shopping home (doesn’t' drive) with great difficulty and not without considerable prolonged discomfort, as seniors sometimes say, "growing old doesn't come alone" or words like that. I have siblings but they just make excuses or are too busy to bother. One brother actually visited only to eat and get my mum to do his laundry, he was doing a degree in nursing about 40 miles from my mum's place, so he could drive home to see mum when it suited him.

The cost of prescription drugs and seeing medics here is an issue. I just can't wait until she is a USC so that she can get on Medicare (will cost about $350pcm at today's rates), but it will be a relief, at least if she needs surgery it will not result in bankruptcy! But I plan to spend some time (when I can ... hard to find it right now) contacting local not-for-profit hospitals to find out if or why they can't take her on as a charity case; she only has a UK pension to support her, clearly not enough to cover rent and food; see what happens, I guess.

ukemigrant

I'm with you on this one Pimpbot - I could have written what you posted, word for word, apart from the bumping into Brits part haven't done that yet.