Scouse Express

Subject: PROUD TO BE BRITISH


>
>Being British
>
>Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a
>Belgian beer,
>
>then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the
>way to
>
>sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.
>
>And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign.
>
>Oh and...... Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster
>than an ambulance.
>
>Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to
>the back of the shop to get their prescriptions ,
>
> while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
>
>Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and
>a DIET coke.
>
>Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to
>the counters.
>
>Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the
>drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
>
>Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
>
> have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want
>to talk to in the first place.
>
>Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a
>skating rink. NOT TO MENTION...
>
>3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
>
>142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
>
>58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
>screwdrivers.
>
>31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the
>fairy lights were plugged in.
>
>19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas
>decorations were chocolate.
>
>British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling
>accidents.
>
>101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out
>of the soles of their feet.
>
>18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
>cigarette in their mouth.
>
>A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after
>opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
>
>5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of Control
>Scalextric cars.
>
>and finally......... In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst
>throwing up into the toilet.
>
>

dgsyd1

Funny thing is, i've seen almost exactly the same thing before, only then it's headline was "Only In America". Weird.

Partystar

Yeah, I really couldn't believe the line about the cheeseburgers & diet cokes only being in Britain, me no think so!!!

geordiegirl2

Me too I was thinking.......... only in Britain pizza faster than an ambulance I don't think so

Patrick Hasler

Very good Jim .............. How's Daniel O'Donnel ?