woodsey

My son is approaching two and a half, I am constantly asked why he isn't in pre school yet. Personally I think he's too young to be going anywhere but is he missing out?
I have never left him with anyone other than family members, the thought of leaving him horrifies me but maybe now is the time...I'm just not sure.
Any experiences, thoughts would be much appreciated.

ImHere

Send him down t'mines love.

Seriously we sent our daughter at about that age for 3 mornings per week 9 till 12. She loved it and my wife got some well earned time to herself. I personally think it helps them ready for going to school (and you as well), coz it doesnt come as a sudden shock when they are 4/5 yrs old.

clydegirl

Yeah it will do him good and you.Have a good look around checking places out and he could go after the summer holidays.He will love it and you will enjoy some time for yourself

Bob

Check 'em all out, and randomly pop by because some are just kack excuses for day care, the good one's actually have proper activities as well as allow them to chill out rather than just dumping them in front of a tele or whatever....but at that age, a couple mornings a couple times of the week isn't a problem, and they'll probably love it, novelty if nothing else

Ben

Yes, all 3 of mine went to pre-school for a couple of mornings at this age. However, it isn't for all children and sometimes waiting that extra 6 months doesn't hurt, as long as they are getting social skills from other places. Do you make sure he mixes with other children the same age? Do you have regular coffee mornings with friends who have children of different ages? How does he interact with other children when you take him to the park? Is he sociable or doesn't he know what to do with other children? All these things make a difference to whether he needs a pre-school now or not.

Definitely look into it, find one you are happy with. If he has friends already, see if they go to one and if it is one you like so he already has someone he knows there. Let him try it out and see how he gets on. Some people are of the belief that once you start at child at pre-school you shouldn't pull him out just because he doesn't settle and could effect future attempts. This isn't statistically true and at this age it can often be a maturity thing or a social matter where the child is just not ready. Go at his pace for now.

NC Penguin

I have friends who have recently been investigating pre-schools for their son, who's nearly two. I don't know when they intend to start sending him to one but their main reason for doing so (both work) is so the boy can mix with kids of his own age and experience socialization.





NC Penguin

AmerLisa

Our daughter turned 3 this past August and I was determined to find a preschool for her as we don't know anyone here, where we moved, and there are no young children on the street we live on (just moronic preteens ) Anyway, because she'd never been at nursery or with anyone else (childminders, etc) I decided on a co-op preschool. She only goes two mid afternoons a week (not enough in my opinion) and I have to help out at the preschool a few times a month, plus do other duties, etc. Its run by the community college here and because of all the parent participation the cost is very low. She's done remarkable, but next year we will be looking for something a bit more structured (this preschool is play based learning...not a bad thing, but not what I'm interested in for her) more days and I won't be there all the time. I will be at a loss not being with her, but normal school is just around the corner and as far as I know they don't let mummies tag along....

woodsey

A couple of people I've already spoken to have mentioned co-ops, this is something I'm going to look into as I get the impression preschool can cost a fortune.
My main concern for my son is that if he doesn't go he'll be at a disadvantage, it seems to be considered unusual for kids not to go and as it looks as though we'll be in America for quite some time, whether it be in California or the mid west then I feel it necessary. I don't want him clinging to my leg on his first day at school He is alo lacking interaction with other kids since moving here although joining the moms club has helped. I don't want anything too structured for him yet, just somewhere for him to go, have fun and meet other kids.
My other concern is my own guilt I'm at home all day and just can't get my head round sending him to school whilst I'm at home

Lion in Winter

A consideration is the stage your child happens to be at. My son started pre-school, first two, then three morning a week at the age of 3 and a bit. At 2 1/2 he was going through a big separation anxiety phase and it just wouldn't have been the moment. He would have hated it. By the time I did take him, he walked right in and loved it from the word go.

At that age, it's mostly just a socialisation thing. Visit the pre-schools you have available with your son, and see which you like and which he likes, if any. If he's not ready yet, don't take him yet. All kids are different, but they do profit from being with other children, esp. if there are no brothers and sisters at home.

bored-silly

Woodsey - in addition to my pm, I personally would steer clear of co-ops. I just don't feel happy with the idea of other kids parents telling my son what to do. Likewise, I don't feel comfortable having to supervise other people's kids. At least if they are in a preschool, all the teachers have qualifications and are coming from the same direction with discipline. Americans love them and I hear they are great for your social life although its with all the other parents! Most of them will only take your son 2 mornings a week for 2 1/2 hours and you have to be there for one of them.
Your job is a full time mum, a very bloody hard job and if the only break you are getting is one 2 1/2 hours session a week, seems a bit unfair.

strim

I shouldn't worry about it. Everyone has different views on what is best for their children. Our oldest son is almost 3 and we get the same questions about pre-school. With most of the parents we know, the primary motivation for putting them in pre-school at 2 is so they get some free time or time to spend with a younger sibling!

When he starts pre-school in September he will be 3 and 4 months. I think the idea of leaving them at this age is far less horrifying as at least they can communicate with you about their experience and concerns.

In the meantime there is no reason for your child to be missing out. Our son has plenty of play dates and does fun activities like swimming, going to the zoo, childrens museum etc and has a younger sister he plays with at home.

AmerLisa

The co-op that we go to isn't like that. There is one teacher (who is qualified) and she is directly consulted if there is any problem. Plus she is hands on, so she is always about and not sitting in an office somewhere. They are so pc at this preschool that I almost find it annoying. You're not allowed to tell a child no, but to find a more suitable way to direct the child. I do agree that supervising children isn't what I want to do. For the same reason I'd never become a childminder. I love my children to distraction, but I'm a bit of a control freak and I have a hard time watching children make a mess (especially when I'm on paint duty! :scared: :scared: ) and knowing it has to be cleaned up.

I think co-ops are a good way to go if you just want a play based preschool for your child. Especially if it is a good co-op. Contact your local community college and see what they have available.

Yorkieabroad

Its a personal thing, but I honestly wouldn't let this be a deciding factor - 1) when he gets there he'll (probably) love it and 2) everyone deserves a break, and if you get that break, you'll probably be more refreshed and better able to go it 100% with him when he is there. 3) Even if you use that time for doing the housework, its a lot quicker and easier to get it done when he's not around, and you can focus more on him when he is without the jobs to do at the same time.

We started our first one at 18 months, just before his younger brother was born. It was earlier than I would have done by choice, but I felt like I would need (like?) some 1 on 1 time with the new arrival, both for me/him, and baby groups/outings, paediatrician visits etc. He took to it like a duck to water,a dn no regrets at all. At that time we were struggling to meet other toddlers ( I got rejected from the local Moms groups outings for being a guy!) and this was a good way to make new friends for him, and led to lots of new playdates. He's 3.5 now, and still loving it - plus he gets experiences different to the ones that I can provide at home - for example I am cr@p at arty/crafty stuff, but he comes home with some great stuff that he's done at school. Our second turned 2, a couple of months back, and he's just started at the same school, and is loving it too. Various reasons for starting him - another baby due in 8 weeks, different experiences etc, but also honestly, I needed some time to myself. Selfish maybe, but I need some time off - we run our own business which mainly involves my wife, and I simply didn't get a break, which was making me a) knackered and b) cranky. Now I get to the gym 2 mornings a week, get all the housestuff done in a fraction of the time it would take if the kids were with me. I'm feeling better, 10 lbs lighter, less tired, less cranky and we're all having more fun.

Neathborn

I think as others have said, it depends on the child. I have a 2 year old who will be going to pre-school 2 mornings a week for 3 hours this September. She is more than ready to go, but it has helped that she accompanies her older sister to pre-school when I drop her off and so knows many of the teachers already. Some pre-schools can be expensive, but some of the church-based ones (if you don't mind some religious education) can be top rate and very reasonably priced.

Shish kebab

Hi woodsey I think Pre School is a way of life here. I sent my girl to daycare P/T for a few months before we moved to LA because she was so shy and didn't want to mix with others. I thought if she could mix and I wasn't there for her to cling to it would help and it did. It took a couple of weeks for her to settle in. I found it hard to leave her at first but then I was starting to enjoy the little free time I had. I worked P/T and that helped me to meet other people. Pre School is good for getting them ready for school but I don't really think it is something you must do. I go to the park as much as I can so she can play with the other kids. I have had a look at daycare/pre schools. Don't go with the big corporate places they charge a fortune and you get less for your money the family ones I find are better. There are less kids but they get the attention. Visit a few if you are going to look and remember to ask to see there registered file when you visit. I haven't heard of any co-ops. It is hard not having any family to fall back on if you need a break.

I have sent you a PM