Lem84

There would be a benefit to my husbands career in that it would be a promotion for him and an opportunity for us to experience life in another country. I do think that if you’re well off in America you have a much better life than in England but it looks like we’d need the package to be more generous in order for us to feel well off in America. We do have a good life but there is a lot to dislike about living in England right now!

Asadsain93

My mrs wants to move back to ny, i work as a lawyer here in the uk so would be difficult for me to move. If you end up deciding to move it would be good to bounnce ideas of each other if youre looking to work

christmasoompa

If you only get $3k a month housing allowance on top of your husband's UK salary, then I'd say that's a very wise decision tbh. If they're keeping him on his UK salary then they should be adding a lot more in to the package than that for you to have an equivalent lifestyle near NYC.

Moses2013

I suppose it always depends what one is looking for and you will hear some Americans say the same about Europe. At the end of the day it always comes down to exact location, timing and personal situation.
We obviously aren't affected by Brexit in the Republic of Ireland, but I do work for a US company here and like everywhere there are colleagues who are stressed, some are relaxed/happy, some well off, some struggle financially and they will all lead different lives with different opinions. Regardless of career, I would feel less well off in a bigger city and for others it would be their dream. Although not England, I was just looking at the webcam in Saundersfoot UK and looked so relaxing. It's probably not all bad in the UK or in your case England and a lot of the time it's the media and negative news stories that make us feel that way.

Nutmegger

Wondering if you have ever actually visited NYC or the areas you have been contemplating. If not, it would be extremely wise to do so before any decision was made. And when thinking of your children, remember that this is the land of the "active shooter drill" in schools, where Second Amendment rights trump the right of the populace to spend an afternoon at the shopping mall without looking over their shoulders.

Lem84

he would get an uplift on his salary as the job is a promotion. But we’d lose my wage, at least to start with, which means we would only have as much money coming in as we do now. The cost of living seems higher over there so I think he would need to earn significantly more than we do now to maintain the same standard of living. I am open to working out there but equally I’m conscious that my husbands going to need to throw everything into his new job leaving me to settle us all into our life over there especially our daughter. Once we’re settled we will have an idea of what I might be able to do work wise

Lem84

we have visited NYC a few times but never the suburbs other than Brooklyn. We’d definitely look to do a reccy if things firmed up. We are lucky to have a cousin on Long Island but acutely aware he has grown up in America since he was 9 so he isn’t likely to be looking at it through British expat eyes.

I can’t say the gun laws in America don’t bother me, they really do. It’s madness to me that the regulations aren’t tightened. They do practice ‘lockdowns’ in my daughters primary school but in a very gentle fashion I.e a big scary dog has gotten into school and we have to be quiet and hide so it doesn’t know where we are, but I’m aware it’s a completely different thing in America and the idea of it does bother me

tht

I assume that all of that puts you on a similar amount to a local salary… and that shuts all grossed up to offset the extra tax you owe on it. I never really think of people moving to the US as “expats” it’s not like going to the ME where you pay little to no tax’s and can be paid to an IOM account etc… here you arrive as a legal alien and become a tax resident, and you are not treated differently / don’t live in a complex like you would if you moved to somewhere like India.

School fees I assume are to keep them on a UK curriculum at an international school, I had an employee in Boston and his kids went to the same school at TB’s children.

I moved to NZ on my own without a job and subsidized the cost of living myself and then moved to Dublin and the NYC without any “package” but I was still single with no children so there was relatively little downside, I just packed some bags and got on a plane.

I think the other upside to the setup you describe is that the UK contract and years of service should remain in place which may give some protection from firing / redundancy. Moving to a local NY / employment at will contract may not offer that type of protection.

Now with kids and properties the amount I would have to be paid to move is higher than I am worth. I was offered a job in Europe 2 years ago, but even a decent package would not offset the risk and cost of moving. I would never say never but it really would have to be an offer that’s “to good to be true”…

Pulaski

The thing about guns in America is that while there are vast numbers of them in private hands, in practice in the suburbs of any city across America you may never hear or see one, except if you see a police officer. The statistics on shootings and gun crimes are shocking, but they are highly compartmentalized, both geographically and ethnically. So long as you don't stray into "the wrong part of town", especially after dark, or live in a low-income apartment building, or involve yourself in drugs and/ or criminal gangs, you will likely have nothing much to worry about.

IMO that is why there isn't a massive upswell of public protest - for most Americans, gun crimes are committed by lowlifes killing other lowlifes.

For the general public not living in a high risk area or engaging in high risk activities, the biggest risk factor for being shot and killed, is having a gun in your own home, as that always cracks open the door to the possibility of domestic violence and suicide, but you have total control there - just don't own a gun.

Lem84

im glad you said that as that’s how I felt it likely was in practice. I absolutely wouldn’t entertain having a gun in my home. I know my husbands aunty and none of his cousins have one

Moses2013

Well, you can hardly say that a school or shopping mall is "the wrong part of town"

Nutmegger

Or Newtown, Connecticut, a "high risk area."

tht

Well depends which town the school or shopping mall are in…

“Racial and ethnic differences in gun deaths among kids are stark. In 2021, 46% of all gun deaths among children and teens involved Black victims, even though only 14% of the U.S. under-18 population that year was Black. Much smaller shares of gun deaths among children and teens in 2021 involved White (32%), Hispanic (17%) and Asian (1%) victims.”

https://www.pewresearch.org/short-re...-in-two-years/

Pulaski

Lots of US malls are very iffy, definitely can be in "the wrong part of town", and attract groups of kids that hang out and cause trouble. ... The reality is that online shopping has caused a lot of US malls to go into a decline. It's not a new phenomenon in the US, with malls declining and closing for decades, but the trend has accelerated in recent years. A "fancy new mall" built about 10-12 years ago on the outskirts of Charlotte, NC has become a problem in recent months with several shootings and as a result key, high profile tenants have been leaving.

destone

Brooklyn is hardly a suburb.