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OT Why The Rush For A/P After Marriage

OT Why The Rush For A/P After Marriage

Old Aug 15th 2001, 11:31 pm
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Just a question here folks. I have read over and read again in the last month or so about people coming into the US, either as K-1'ers or tourist, getting married and being anxious to have an A/P asap so they can go home.

Wasn't the purpose of all of this to get married and live and love with your USC? If that is the case, why do you have to have an immediate A/P so you can take off in a few weeks for an extended trip back to your own country and often without your new USC spouse?

Just curious.

Rita

PS I realize there are family health emergencies that warrant the need for a quick A/P but not all of you can have this type of emergency.
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Old Aug 17th 2001, 1:25 pm
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Hi Rita:
My husband and I filed for AP yesterday, along with EAD and AOS. Our reason is this: His grand-parents' 60-th wedding anniversary party is being held in October (they are in their late 80's) and he is extremely close to them both. We're hoping that we obtain the AP so we can attend their celebration! Also, his mom has various health problems, so if anything should happen we'll be able to fly over there with short notice. Otherwise, he really does not want to go back to the UK as he is extremely happy here with me and our pussycats. Take care!
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Old Aug 17th 2001, 2:12 pm
  #3  
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As of today, we have been married about 8 weeks. My husband's Dad couldn't make it due to undergoing treatments for his cancer. My husband's search for an IT job (Balto-Wash. area- any leads out there?!?! ;-) )is going very, very slowly. He's bored stiff at home while I'm at work. We thought it might be a good thing for him to go back to the UK for a very short visit before he starts a job, to visit Mum and Dad, while there's still some money in the coffers that could cover the plane ticket.

Rita-
I think if you examine the ages of a good number of the couples seeking AP, you'll realize the ages of the parents are :a.)old enough to be succeptible to a life threatening illness and/or b.)old enough for events such as the one above- milestone birthdays, anniversaries, etc.

It's a big deal to move your life to a whole other country to be with the one you love. That does not mean the love for your family in your home country shrinks- rather you probably miss them even more knowing they are alot farther away than the next county- or even across a large country you are able to travel in freely.
I know if I was the one moving to the UK, I would want permission to travel back to the US and visit my Mom, brothers and friends.

I know the idea is to start your life anew in America with your USC spouse- but that's not always so easy right away. Especially with them at work all day. Homesickeness is bound to occur. Its mazing how a short trip back to see your "mates" and family can really sustain you when you're back in your new, adopted country, where the only really close friend you have is your new spouse.

Just because somebody wants to go back and visit doesn't mean they don't want a life with their new spouse in their adopted country.

Think of a kid away at college- they get to come home about every 2-3 months if they wish, and are financially able. Why shouldn't a foreign spouse be allowed to do the same?

Wouldn't you get homesick if you picked up and moved to a whole other country, especially knowing your parents are older and possibly ailing?

As far as an extended trip- well a hop across the pond is one thing- its only about 7 hours from where I live to the UK- but if my husband were Austrailian, say- that takes about 22 hours to get there- that wouldn't be worth the expense unless it were for at least two weeks.
Quite often the spouse can't go due to a.) money and b.) work
Every situation is different, and I can't speak for everyone else- but I think in most cases, you will find legitimate reasons that do not discount setting up housekeepng with the USC spouse in the adopted country. I think that is the ultimate goal, obviously, just sometimes life, homesickness, and obligations might dictate a trip back to the motherland.
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