Ethelred_the_Unready

I don't have much money and you know what? I don't care for it either. I just want enough to have food, a roof over my head and adequate healthcare. The rest is bollocks, as is the keeping up with the Joneses mentality that is 1,000,000 times more prevalent in the US than the UK.

brithampton

Ditto. The homesickness is almost crippling - am v. impressed that Sallysimmons is almost back there...hope that my story will be similar to that in a couple of years time.

markwm

and how do you pay for the food, roof and healthcare?

Ethelred_the_Unready

You don't realise how British or even European you are until you leave. Been almost a decade for me and thankfully, an end maybe in sight as the (American) wife is growing increasingly disillusioned with this country and continues to express interest in moving to the UK.

Ethelred_the_Unready

Enlighten me?

markwm

You said you don't care for money. I know if I don't make any then I can't take care of my family and I can't put money away for the future.

sallysimmons

Trust me I have, for most of my life.

But I still believe that financial success means nothing if you don't have the people you love around you. I miss my mum. I want to help take care of my aging gran. I want to cook a meal for my brother every once in a while. This summer, we're going to the wedding of one of our oldest friends - I can't tell you how many weddings and events we've missed out on over the years. Later in the year I'm going to see a play written by another friend - can't wait!! These are the things that matter in life.

Ethelred_the_Unready

I don't care to make lots of it and live the American myth, that's my point....just enough for a roof over my head and food. I don care to keep up with the Joneses.

markwm

I don't think it's about keeping up with the Joneseses - I couldn't care less what other people have, I only care that I can keep my family and put enough away to take care of the future. Everything after that is just more freedom - which, after all, is what money really buys you.

Besides, the American culture and lifetstyle is so widely known that I can't believe people come here somehow expecting it to to be like the UK! Two countries divided by a common language.

I would add, however, that the US is most definitely not the same country that I lived in many years ago - it has changed considerably and not, I believe, for the better. That being said I still love it here.

SultanOfSwing

Couldn't have said it better myself. I missed my mum's 60th; my uncle's 60th; two great aunts' funerals (one of whom I was reasonably close to); births, marriages. Next year will be my dad's 70th and then of course, the inevitable unthinkable that comes with age and my parents being my oldest blood relatives

sallysimmons

Nobody said they were expecting it to be like the UK. But it's also not true to say we all knew what we were getting into when we came here. Parts of the American culture are well known and parts are impossible to know and understand until you've lived here.

So for example, I know there were a lot of guns here but I didn't understand how culturally embedded they were and why. I knew that Americans didn't have free healthcare but I didn't understand that they would actively fight against anyone who tried to give it to them. I knew they were more religious than Brits, but I didn't realize that when I was watching the news, a major news anchor would start his broadcast with the sentence 'the governor of Alabama is asking for prayers tonight' as happened just a few nights ago. I had heard of the American dream, but I didn't realize it was a sop designed to keep most people in their place while a select few raped and pillaged the country financially. And I was blissfully ignorant of the likes of Rush Limbaugh.

You were unaware of lots of things too when you came. We all are when we move from one culture to another.

markwm

You were unaware of lots of things too when you came. We all are when we move from one culture to another.

Actually I wasn't: my parents lived here for many years before I was born so I had a good idea of what to expect. I was also quite young whe I first moved here so found it easy to adapt plus have been coming back and forth pretty much my whole life between living here.

Sorry that it has not worked out for many people: that is terribly sad.

SultanOfSwing

It's not sad, it's just unfortunate.

So what if some of us don't like it here? That's real life for you. Not everybody likes me, or you, or whoever, it's no big deal.

markwm

In reality doesn't affect me one little bit. However, I can still feel about it however I want to and I think it is sad that people uproot their lives to move across the world to find out that it isn't for them. Plainly, I'm not as jaded as you appear to be but I'll not feel sad for you: that would, obviously, be wasted on you.

SultanOfSwing

I applaud your attempt at sarcasm, but it's only a matter of semantics when all's said and done, isn't it?