Older Parents moving to Houston, Texas - Advice Please.
 

Hi there,

I really hope someone can give me some reassurance and advice on my parents potential move to Houston in Texas.

My Dad is 66 and has been offered a job within his current company at their Head Office in Houston. He's been over there on 3x one week visits previously and enjoyed (what he saw) the place.

Currently his and my mums visa application is being processed through his company as its a married status job for at least three years.

He's very excited about this prospect as is a complete workaholic and really enjoys his job. Myself and my sister spent some years growing up abroad before returning to the UK as children so this is not something new for my parents.

My concern is that my Dad is so much older now and I'm worried about what type of lifestyle he and my Mum will have.

My main concern if I am honest is for my Mum. She's 65 and lives in a tiny village (think the type where everyone knows most peoples names!) and doesn't drive. I understand she wants to support my Dad in this last adventure but I'm not too sure that she really knows what shes letting herself in for from what I've read.

I know she's in two minds about the move and has said she will go over there with my Dad to see what it is like but won't stay if she doesn't like it. His answer to this conundrum is that they will cross that bridge if it comes to it.... I worry that shes going to be lost, isolated and dealing with the heat/humidity on her own whilst my Dad is out at work and just hasn't thought it all through. She thinks she can pop on a bus somewhere and go do some volunteering to keep herself busy?!?! - Is that even a possibility?

I appreciate that part of me if being selfish in asking this as I don't want them to go and can't understand why my Dad isn't happy working a few more years in a job which is currently a 30 minutes commute from his home and very well paid.

Please can I get some reassurances and/or some real insight into life for the more mature ex-pat couple out there.

Thanks!

Re: Older Parents moving to Houston, Texas - Advice Please.
 

We are a bit younger and have a teenager but I can understand where your dad is coming from, this could be his last big adventure before retirement looms so he is probably eager to try something new and it is only for a few years (trust me it will pass quicker than you can imagine). Even at our age we felt that if we didn't do this now we may never get the chance again.

Your mum may find it more difficult. Houston is nothing like a village, even if they live downtown where you can get out and about a bit more without a car imagine walking to and from a shop in 100 degree heat, it's not fun.

Houston has little in the way of public transport and taxis are very expensive. There is a good chance that if she wanted to volunteer there would not be a practical way to get there. Houston is very much a drivers city, I can't imagine being here unable to drive.

It's not all doom and gloom though, they may end up somewhere with a good community and neighbors she can meet up with, but she will really have to put herself out there! Maybe your mum will be happy just chilling out for a while during the day and doing stuff with your dad in the evenings and at weekends, I am perfectly happy pottering about by myself, although yes I do have the car for nipping to shops etc.

Re: Older Parents moving to Houston, Texas - Advice Please.
 

I am not in Houston but am also in a car-dependent area. When I was volunteering in the library, there was an older Indian lady who was staying with her son for several months. She didn't drive and had nothing to do while her son was at work, so she tried to get in and volunteer most days but spent most of the time waiting for the unreliable shuttle bus. Unless your mum can learn to drive I think she could have a huge culture shock. It's hard enough anyway for the 'trailing spouse'.

Re: Older Parents moving to Houston, Texas - Advice Please.
 

I concur, without a car its very difficult to get around. The bus transportation system here in NC is very inadequate.

Re: Older Parents moving to Houston, Texas - Advice Please.
 

Make sure they both have great health insurance through his job. Absent that, discourage them. At their age, it's essential. And if it were my parents, I would be concerned about their dealing with the heat/humidity. Have they visited at the height of the summer? And, as others have mentioned, are they aware of how car-centric it's likely to be?

Re: Older Parents moving to Houston, Texas - Advice Please.
 

My guess is that it would be better to plan, up front, that your mum will divide her time between Texas and the UK. A few months here then a few months there continually. How many times a year she travels will depend largely on her wishes; air tickets are cheap enough if you can plan ahead and search for the best deals.

She won't lose ordinary residence status in the UK (and thereby full NHS) and can take advantage of seasonal weather differences. Thus she can not lose touch with her friends and have a safe fall back position in the event that something fails to work out in Texas. Though it's likely to work out, nonetheless it is best not to be dependent on that.

She's a lot less likely to hate two or three month visits than a whole year at a time.

Re: Older Parents moving to Houston, Texas - Advice Please.
 

The 'burbs are never going to cut it.

I'd suggest a downtown apartment in a yuppy area. It'll be close to places she can volunteer -- soup kitchens, homeless shelters, libraries, etc. She can use a mobile phone and a cab for getting about -- I presume your father is more interested in doing the job than earning the money so he'll need to see this as the cost of being out there.

She'll presumably be on an L2 or E2 visa. With either of these, she can get an Employment Authorization Document. I'd suggest she gets one of these, even though the work she will be doing is voluntary. Sometimes it's difficult not to fall foul of the immigration laws, but with this she is covered.

Re: Older Parents moving to Houston, Texas - Advice Please.
 

Where is the head office (downtown, Galleria, Westchase, Energy Corridor, JFK, etc.)? I used to work in commercial real estate and I can help recommend some fun areas that are accessible to things within a reasonable walk or bus. Fatbrit's comment about a mobile phone and taxi use will absolutely apply. However, if your mother is herself a senior and needs mobility assistance for doctor appointments, grocery shopping, and so forth, I think there is a van service. I'll call 211 when a get a minute (that's the Houston helpline and I'm goofing off on a conference call at the moment) and find out for sure.

(Edit: There are van services for seniors, said the 211 representative, but their availability depends on zip code, income, and whether the client is receiving public services like Medicaid. If your parents join a large church or seniors association when they get here, they will undoubtedly have more options.)

Re: Older Parents moving to Houston, Texas - Advice Please.
 

The advantage of downtown is that you can use the underground tunnel systems which have AC. This is only true during the working week though (I forget the actual hours but it's something like 6am - 6pm Mon-Fri). They aren't open at the weekend.

Downtown Houston has plus and minus points - I lived downtown when I first moved here. It is walkable, there are theaters and art based things going on and there some restaurants and pretty good places to go out and get lunch etc etc. However, it does shut down at the weekend - very few shops are there and only a couple of them open at the weekends. It's not for everyone and your choice of living is limited and can be expensive. I stayed in a loft and loved it, but I was in my late 20's so slightly different scenario. You can get on the light rail to the medical center (zoo etc) but it doesn't really go anywhere else of worth (except to the Reliant Stadium).

I agree with the others - you really need a car in Houston. The public transport system here isn't good and I would not want to rely upon it for everyday use.

It really depends on what your Mum likes to do. Downtown there are a few things accesible (but not a whole lot), further out there is not much that's within easy access without a car but there are communities and houses with pools if that would suit her better to potter around etc

Re: Older Parents moving to Houston, Texas - Advice Please.
 

Is your Mum planning on learning to drive or not driving at all. Houston not driving wouldn't be the most fun place. If she is willing to learn, then I don't think she'll be bored. There are lots of opportunities for socializing, volunteering etc.

Re: Older Parents moving to Houston, Texas - Advice Please.
 

Can your mum drive and chose not to? If that's the case, she'll have to drive realistically over here and if she can't drive, thus get around independently on her own, home sickness and depression is much likely to hit her.

The other concern, at that age, presuming good pensions and savings, would be the hassle of IRS tax filings on global income/assets and the tax implications of them.

Also, if this is just a few year stink, what thoughts of an exit strategy? Also being morbid here, but what kind of repatriation clause is there for your mum should something happen to your father? Many relocation packages and repatriation packages are towards the employee, potentially leaving the spouse high and dry if the sponsored person kicks the bucket, which is probably something that most of us don't think to much about as most of us aren't moving over in retirement age.

Re: Older Parents moving to Houston, Texas - Advice Please.
 

I lived in Houston 20 years ago, and for the first couple of years, we shared a car, so when the husband drove off to work I was left at home alone with our young children. We lived near Rice Village, where there were shops, cafes & parks nearby. We walked a lot, which was bearable about 8 months of the year & not so nice in the summer heat. But back then I was a young mother motivated to get the little ones out of the house, not an older woman.

I've not been back to that area in years, so I don't know if it's still as walkable, or if the stores are still as nice in Rice Village. There were a few apartment buildings that weren't bad. And Rice University was nearby, with some students who rode bicycles into the village center. It strikes me now--from reading this thread--that we somehow must have stumbled on one of the few areas of Houston that had some decent walkability, so doing without a car of my own during the week was OK, not great, but do-able....

However, I WAS able to use the car to do the grocery shopping on the weekends. That was essential; I could never have done the necessary food shopping on foot. And as it was, I was extremely relieved when we bought a second car. So... while it may be just about possible to live without driving in a few unusual parts of Houston...as everyone says it's not really easy or pleasant. One needs a car.