O/T Andrew and the Dead Horse
Mar 14th 2002, 4:35 pm
#16
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: O/T Andrew and the Dead Horse
You know what Andrew, you do make some valid points in this post. What you say is
true... seeking professional help is a only a start. And a GOOD one. What we hope, is
that somewhere along the line, she and her husband, together with the professionals,
will reach a consensus as to how this situation is going to pan out. And what she and
her husband must do, to save their marriage. We also hope that these same
professional will be able to evaluate her husband's "drinking problems". How this
situation is going to affect her young children, so that they can all develop better
coping skills. And hopefully at the end of all of this, she and husband will find a
solution to their very real problems. She cannot be expected to tell us all the
details of this complicated situation in a few posts on the forum. She was obviously
wanting us to tell her that she had made the right decision and is moving in the
right direction. And that's exactly what she has done. And I personally commend her
for doing so. And we can only hope that everything will work out in the end. That's
the happy ending. But as you say, things may not work out as hoped. And I'm sure she
is aware of that, as we all are. We all know how hard it is for an alcoholic to kick
the drinking habit. They need help to that and it is a long term commitment. That is
why they are doing what they are doing. Ranjini
"Andrew DeFaria" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]... Ranjini wrote:
Andrew said: Quote " .....that ntepy needs to get some professional help, somehow I'm
the bad guy for saying it! It's this sort of twisted logic that you guys are spewing
forth". Unquote
For god's sake Andrew, get real !! The point that we are all making is that she IS
getting professional help!! She isn't in denial of her problems. She DOES have a
problem with an eating disorder and she is getting professional help for it? What
more can this poor woman do????? What's it with you???? She has started getting help
but she's also saying that she's almost all better now. Wham! Amazing recovery - not.
She's in denial of the fact that she has a long way to go. She's in denial that her
husband has suddenly cured his alcoholism problem in one sweep of "Honey I won't
drink anymore" and that she has suddenly cured her eating disorder "Look honey, I'm
eating!". She's in denial that the sitituation she has gotten herself into has and
most likely still is hurting her kids. With all that denial about it's hard to trust
what she is saying as actually being truthful.
So Ranjini, for god sake, get real too!
true... seeking professional help is a only a start. And a GOOD one. What we hope, is
that somewhere along the line, she and her husband, together with the professionals,
will reach a consensus as to how this situation is going to pan out. And what she and
her husband must do, to save their marriage. We also hope that these same
professional will be able to evaluate her husband's "drinking problems". How this
situation is going to affect her young children, so that they can all develop better
coping skills. And hopefully at the end of all of this, she and husband will find a
solution to their very real problems. She cannot be expected to tell us all the
details of this complicated situation in a few posts on the forum. She was obviously
wanting us to tell her that she had made the right decision and is moving in the
right direction. And that's exactly what she has done. And I personally commend her
for doing so. And we can only hope that everything will work out in the end. That's
the happy ending. But as you say, things may not work out as hoped. And I'm sure she
is aware of that, as we all are. We all know how hard it is for an alcoholic to kick
the drinking habit. They need help to that and it is a long term commitment. That is
why they are doing what they are doing. Ranjini
"Andrew DeFaria" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]... Ranjini wrote:
Andrew said: Quote " .....that ntepy needs to get some professional help, somehow I'm
the bad guy for saying it! It's this sort of twisted logic that you guys are spewing
forth". Unquote
For god's sake Andrew, get real !! The point that we are all making is that she IS
getting professional help!! She isn't in denial of her problems. She DOES have a
problem with an eating disorder and she is getting professional help for it? What
more can this poor woman do????? What's it with you???? She has started getting help
but she's also saying that she's almost all better now. Wham! Amazing recovery - not.
She's in denial of the fact that she has a long way to go. She's in denial that her
husband has suddenly cured his alcoholism problem in one sweep of "Honey I won't
drink anymore" and that she has suddenly cured her eating disorder "Look honey, I'm
eating!". She's in denial that the sitituation she has gotten herself into has and
most likely still is hurting her kids. With all that denial about it's hard to trust
what she is saying as actually being truthful.
So Ranjini, for god sake, get real too!
Mar 14th 2002, 5:05 pm
#17
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: O/T Andrew and the Dead Horse
Rete wrote:
> This in, and of itself, is not a suicide attempt as suggested nor is it a cry for
> help. It is one person's emotional and physical reaction to a situation that is
> causing enormous amounts of stress. It is normal for one to lose weight at the
> height of depression. It is not seen medically as a cry for help or an attempt at
> suicide. The mind at this point is so overwhelmed with coping or trying to cope
> with the situation that causes emotional pain has shut down the portion of the
> brain that triggers one's need for nourishment.
Sorry but I disagree. Forgetting to eat because one's stressed out leading to a wait
loss is one thing. Not eating to the point of needed to be hospitalized is an attempt
at suicide. You can view the motivation as a cry for help but it's a cry for help
made by attempting to kill oneself which is suicide (and saying I had no idea that it
might kill me is ludicrous, IMHO).
> This in, and of itself, is not a suicide attempt as suggested nor is it a cry for
> help. It is one person's emotional and physical reaction to a situation that is
> causing enormous amounts of stress. It is normal for one to lose weight at the
> height of depression. It is not seen medically as a cry for help or an attempt at
> suicide. The mind at this point is so overwhelmed with coping or trying to cope
> with the situation that causes emotional pain has shut down the portion of the
> brain that triggers one's need for nourishment.
Sorry but I disagree. Forgetting to eat because one's stressed out leading to a wait
loss is one thing. Not eating to the point of needed to be hospitalized is an attempt
at suicide. You can view the motivation as a cry for help but it's a cry for help
made by attempting to kill oneself which is suicide (and saying I had no idea that it
might kill me is ludicrous, IMHO).
Mar 14th 2002, 6:05 pm
#18
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: O/T Andrew and the Dead Horse
I seem to have the same thing going on as the great Grinch in that I don't get all of
Andrew posts. Maybe we are the lucky ones. Nptey has obviously decided what she needs
to do with her situation. Feeling as isolated as she has been, I think she turned to
the newsgroup as friends and not just as looking for a vast array of opinions on what
may be the right or wrong thing to do. She is likely feeling like a failure at this
point in time and felt that the group was somewhere safe to turn. Considering the
general attitude that society has for those of us who have met the ones we love on
the internet, I can only imagine the feedback she would be getting from family and
friends back home if she called and told them the whole story. I am sure there have
been others who lives had taken a similar turn to hers but they didnt post or weren't
as honest about the situation. I personally wish her the best of luck, and hope she
keeps us posted on how life is going for her. Bonnie
"Rete" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> There isn't a bad guy in any of this Ranjini and that is what is so terrible about
> the whole thing.
>
> This person does not have the ideal life situation at the moment. She did not marry
> well financially, geographically, emotionally or
> psychologically. Being thrust into a life she and her children were unprepared for
> as it differed from what she was told to expect, caused an emotional overload
> which manifested itself into a eating disorder. This in, and of itself, is not a
> suicide attempt as suggested nor is it a cry for help. It is one person's
> emotional and physical reaction to a situation that is causing enormous amounts
> of stress.
>
> It is normal for one to lose weight at the height of depression. It is not seen
> medically as a cry for help or an attempt at suicide. The mind at this point is so
> overwhelmed with coping or trying to cope with the situation that causes emotional
> pain has shut down the portion of the brain that triggers one's need for
> nourishment.
>
> All in all, it is her life. Suggestions can be made as to what she might and might
> not try. But it is her final decision to either accept or decline any suggestions
> made on the NG.
>
> To get bent out of shape because she refuses to accept someone's analysis of their
> emotional state, is like a child throwing a tantrum in the middle of the department
> store because mommy doesn't agree that spending an hour in the toy department is a
> good idea.
>
> Rita
>
>
>
> --
> --
> Rete and Jim (Can/Am Alumni '98)
>
> The K1 FAQ http://www.k1faq.com The Mysterious Sealed Brown Envelope
> http://www.k1faq.com/faq_index.htm Update AOS Experiences at:
> http://www.kamya.com/interview/intro.html Update POE Experiences at:
> http://www.k1poelist.com/ Update AOS filing: http://www.kamya.com/aos/ I-130/I-485
> Helpsite at: http://www.mindspring.com/~docsteen/...o/visainfo.htm
> http://www.geocities.com/immigration...-130/index.htm AOS filing; AOS,
> I-130 and K-1 Interview Experiences: http://www.kamya.com/interview/intro.html
>
>
> Posted via http://britishexpats.com
Andrew posts. Maybe we are the lucky ones. Nptey has obviously decided what she needs
to do with her situation. Feeling as isolated as she has been, I think she turned to
the newsgroup as friends and not just as looking for a vast array of opinions on what
may be the right or wrong thing to do. She is likely feeling like a failure at this
point in time and felt that the group was somewhere safe to turn. Considering the
general attitude that society has for those of us who have met the ones we love on
the internet, I can only imagine the feedback she would be getting from family and
friends back home if she called and told them the whole story. I am sure there have
been others who lives had taken a similar turn to hers but they didnt post or weren't
as honest about the situation. I personally wish her the best of luck, and hope she
keeps us posted on how life is going for her. Bonnie
"Rete" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> There isn't a bad guy in any of this Ranjini and that is what is so terrible about
> the whole thing.
>
> This person does not have the ideal life situation at the moment. She did not marry
> well financially, geographically, emotionally or
> psychologically. Being thrust into a life she and her children were unprepared for
> as it differed from what she was told to expect, caused an emotional overload
> which manifested itself into a eating disorder. This in, and of itself, is not a
> suicide attempt as suggested nor is it a cry for help. It is one person's
> emotional and physical reaction to a situation that is causing enormous amounts
> of stress.
>
> It is normal for one to lose weight at the height of depression. It is not seen
> medically as a cry for help or an attempt at suicide. The mind at this point is so
> overwhelmed with coping or trying to cope with the situation that causes emotional
> pain has shut down the portion of the brain that triggers one's need for
> nourishment.
>
> All in all, it is her life. Suggestions can be made as to what she might and might
> not try. But it is her final decision to either accept or decline any suggestions
> made on the NG.
>
> To get bent out of shape because she refuses to accept someone's analysis of their
> emotional state, is like a child throwing a tantrum in the middle of the department
> store because mommy doesn't agree that spending an hour in the toy department is a
> good idea.
>
> Rita
>
>
>
> --
> --
> Rete and Jim (Can/Am Alumni '98)
>
> The K1 FAQ http://www.k1faq.com The Mysterious Sealed Brown Envelope
> http://www.k1faq.com/faq_index.htm Update AOS Experiences at:
> http://www.kamya.com/interview/intro.html Update POE Experiences at:
> http://www.k1poelist.com/ Update AOS filing: http://www.kamya.com/aos/ I-130/I-485
> Helpsite at: http://www.mindspring.com/~docsteen/...o/visainfo.htm
> http://www.geocities.com/immigration...-130/index.htm AOS filing; AOS,
> I-130 and K-1 Interview Experiences: http://www.kamya.com/interview/intro.html
>
>
> Posted via http://britishexpats.com
Mar 14th 2002, 6:05 pm
#19
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: O/T Andrew and the Dead Horse
You are some of the lucky ones. Using our newsreader, we were unfortunate enough
to see two of Andrew's posts in triplicate....guess he has a problem with the
enter button.
Isn't it considered rude to send in HTML anyway? (His posts are in HTML) What am I
saying....need to consider the source there. LOL!!
Lisa "Bonnie M" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> I seem to have the same thing going on as the great Grinch in that I don't get all
> of Andrew posts. Maybe we are the lucky ones.
to see two of Andrew's posts in triplicate....guess he has a problem with the
enter button.
Isn't it considered rude to send in HTML anyway? (His posts are in HTML) What am I
saying....need to consider the source there. LOL!!
Lisa "Bonnie M" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> I seem to have the same thing going on as the great Grinch in that I don't get all
> of Andrew posts. Maybe we are the lucky ones.
Mar 14th 2002, 6:16 pm
#20
Concierge
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 46,387
Re: O/T Andrew and the Dead Horse
And that is your opinion Andrew. I don't share your opinion nor will I be browbeaten into submission to your view.
You have had your say, you have had your say, you have had your say, you have had your say, until your say has been redundant and manical.
Your obssessiveness with having the last word can be viewed as either a personality flaw or a psychological problem.
Now that have taken whatever sense of comfort this woman gleamed from this NG and left her with one less, if not the only, outlet to vent her emotional frustration on (after all alt.depression might not sympathize with US/foreign internet relationships), I do hope that you are satisfied and will let this thread and the original thread die.
I, for one, will no longer respond to you as I find that your tirades are not substantiated by an education to back your diagnosis.
Rita
You have had your say, you have had your say, you have had your say, you have had your say, until your say has been redundant and manical.
Your obssessiveness with having the last word can be viewed as either a personality flaw or a psychological problem.
Now that have taken whatever sense of comfort this woman gleamed from this NG and left her with one less, if not the only, outlet to vent her emotional frustration on (after all alt.depression might not sympathize with US/foreign internet relationships), I do hope that you are satisfied and will let this thread and the original thread die.
I, for one, will no longer respond to you as I find that your tirades are not substantiated by an education to back your diagnosis.
Rita
Mar 14th 2002, 6:35 pm
#21
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: O/T Andrew and the Dead Horse
Another post that mirrors some of my thoughts. I too wish her nothing but the
best!! Ranjini
"Bonnie M" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]...
> I seem to have the same thing going on as the great Grinch in that I don't get all
> of Andrew posts. Maybe we are the lucky ones. Nptey has obviously decided what she
> needs to do with her situation. Feeling as isolated as she has been, I think she
> turned to the newsgroup
as
> friends and not just as looking for a vast array of opinions on what may
be
> the right or wrong thing to do. She is likely feeling like a failure at this point
> in time and felt that the group was somewhere safe to turn. Considering the general
> attitude that society has for those of us who have met the ones we love on the
> internet, I can only imagine the feedback she would be getting from family and
> friends back home if she called and told them the whole story. I am sure there have
> been others who lives had taken a similar turn to
hers
> but they didnt post or weren't as honest about the situation. I
personally
> wish her the best of luck, and hope she keeps us posted on how life is
going
> for her. Bonnie
>
> "Rete" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
> > There isn't a bad guy in any of this Ranjini and that is what is so terrible
> > about the whole thing.
> >
> > This person does not have the ideal life situation at the moment. She did not
> > marry well financially, geographically, emotionally or
> > psychologically. Being thrust into a life she and her children were unprepared
> > for as it differed from what she was told to expect, caused an emotional
> > overload which manifested itself into a eating disorder. This in, and of
> > itself, is not a suicide attempt as suggested nor is it a cry for help. It is
> > one person's emotional and physical reaction to a situation that is causing
> > enormous amounts of stress.
> >
> > It is normal for one to lose weight at the height of depression. It is not seen
> > medically as a cry for help or an attempt at suicide. The mind at this point is
> > so overwhelmed with coping or trying to cope with the situation that causes
> > emotional pain has shut down the portion of the brain that triggers one's need
> > for nourishment.
> >
> > All in all, it is her life. Suggestions can be made as to what she might and
> > might not try. But it is her final decision to either accept or decline any
> > suggestions made on the NG.
> >
> > To get bent out of shape because she refuses to accept someone's analysis of
> > their emotional state, is like a child throwing a tantrum in the middle of the
> > department store because mommy doesn't agree that spending an hour in the toy
> > department is a good idea.
> >
> > Rita
> >
> >
> >
> > --
> > --
> > Rete and Jim (Can/Am Alumni '98)
> >
> > The K1 FAQ http://www.k1faq.com The Mysterious Sealed Brown Envelope
> > http://www.k1faq.com/faq_index.htm Update AOS Experiences at:
> > http://www.kamya.com/interview/intro.html Update POE Experiences at:
> > http://www.k1poelist.com/ Update AOS filing: http://www.kamya.com/aos/
> > I-130/I-485 Helpsite at:
> > http://www.mindspring.com/~docsteen/...o/visainfo.htm
> > http://www.geocities.com/immigration...-130/index.htm AOS filing; AOS,
> > I-130 and K-1 Interview Experiences: http://www.kamya.com/interview/intro.html
> >
> >
> > Posted via http://britishexpats.com
best!! Ranjini
"Bonnie M" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]...
> I seem to have the same thing going on as the great Grinch in that I don't get all
> of Andrew posts. Maybe we are the lucky ones. Nptey has obviously decided what she
> needs to do with her situation. Feeling as isolated as she has been, I think she
> turned to the newsgroup
as
> friends and not just as looking for a vast array of opinions on what may
be
> the right or wrong thing to do. She is likely feeling like a failure at this point
> in time and felt that the group was somewhere safe to turn. Considering the general
> attitude that society has for those of us who have met the ones we love on the
> internet, I can only imagine the feedback she would be getting from family and
> friends back home if she called and told them the whole story. I am sure there have
> been others who lives had taken a similar turn to
hers
> but they didnt post or weren't as honest about the situation. I
personally
> wish her the best of luck, and hope she keeps us posted on how life is
going
> for her. Bonnie
>
> "Rete" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
> > There isn't a bad guy in any of this Ranjini and that is what is so terrible
> > about the whole thing.
> >
> > This person does not have the ideal life situation at the moment. She did not
> > marry well financially, geographically, emotionally or
> > psychologically. Being thrust into a life she and her children were unprepared
> > for as it differed from what she was told to expect, caused an emotional
> > overload which manifested itself into a eating disorder. This in, and of
> > itself, is not a suicide attempt as suggested nor is it a cry for help. It is
> > one person's emotional and physical reaction to a situation that is causing
> > enormous amounts of stress.
> >
> > It is normal for one to lose weight at the height of depression. It is not seen
> > medically as a cry for help or an attempt at suicide. The mind at this point is
> > so overwhelmed with coping or trying to cope with the situation that causes
> > emotional pain has shut down the portion of the brain that triggers one's need
> > for nourishment.
> >
> > All in all, it is her life. Suggestions can be made as to what she might and
> > might not try. But it is her final decision to either accept or decline any
> > suggestions made on the NG.
> >
> > To get bent out of shape because she refuses to accept someone's analysis of
> > their emotional state, is like a child throwing a tantrum in the middle of the
> > department store because mommy doesn't agree that spending an hour in the toy
> > department is a good idea.
> >
> > Rita
> >
> >
> >
> > --
> > --
> > Rete and Jim (Can/Am Alumni '98)
> >
> > The K1 FAQ http://www.k1faq.com The Mysterious Sealed Brown Envelope
> > http://www.k1faq.com/faq_index.htm Update AOS Experiences at:
> > http://www.kamya.com/interview/intro.html Update POE Experiences at:
> > http://www.k1poelist.com/ Update AOS filing: http://www.kamya.com/aos/
> > I-130/I-485 Helpsite at:
> > http://www.mindspring.com/~docsteen/...o/visainfo.htm
> > http://www.geocities.com/immigration...-130/index.htm AOS filing; AOS,
> > I-130 and K-1 Interview Experiences: http://www.kamya.com/interview/intro.html
> >
> >
> > Posted via http://britishexpats.com
Mar 14th 2002, 9:35 pm
#22
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: O/T Andrew and the Dead Horse
*checks the dead horse's temperature*
yep. still dead.
"Rete" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> And that is your opinion Andrew. I don't share your opinion nor will I be
> browbeaten into submission to your view.
>
> You have had your say, you have had your say, you have had your say, you have had
> your say, until your say has been redundant and manical.
>
> Your obssessiveness with having the last word can be viewed as either a personality
> flaw or a psychological problem.
>
> Now that have taken whatever sense of comfort this woman gleamed from this NG and
> left her with one less, if not the only, outlet to vent her emotional frustration
> on (after all alt.depression might not sympathize with US/foreign internet
> relationships), I do hope that you are satisfied and will let this thread and the
> original thread die.
>
> I, for one, will no longer respond to you as I find that your tirades are not
> substantiated by an education to back your diagnosis.
>
> Rita
>
>
>
> --
> --
> Rete and Jim (Can/Am Alumni '98)
>
> The K1 FAQ http://www.k1faq.com The Mysterious Sealed Brown Envelope
> http://www.k1faq.com/faq_index.htm Update AOS Experiences at:
> http://www.kamya.com/interview/intro.html Update POE Experiences at:
> http://www.k1poelist.com/ Update AOS filing: http://www.kamya.com/aos/ I-130/I-485
> Helpsite at: http://www.mindspring.com/~docsteen/...o/visainfo.htm
> http://www.geocities.com/immigration...-130/index.htm AOS filing; AOS,
> I-130 and K-1 Interview Experiences: http://www.kamya.com/interview/intro.html
>
>
> Posted via http://britishexpats.com
yep. still dead.
"Rete" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> And that is your opinion Andrew. I don't share your opinion nor will I be
> browbeaten into submission to your view.
>
> You have had your say, you have had your say, you have had your say, you have had
> your say, until your say has been redundant and manical.
>
> Your obssessiveness with having the last word can be viewed as either a personality
> flaw or a psychological problem.
>
> Now that have taken whatever sense of comfort this woman gleamed from this NG and
> left her with one less, if not the only, outlet to vent her emotional frustration
> on (after all alt.depression might not sympathize with US/foreign internet
> relationships), I do hope that you are satisfied and will let this thread and the
> original thread die.
>
> I, for one, will no longer respond to you as I find that your tirades are not
> substantiated by an education to back your diagnosis.
>
> Rita
>
>
>
> --
> --
> Rete and Jim (Can/Am Alumni '98)
>
> The K1 FAQ http://www.k1faq.com The Mysterious Sealed Brown Envelope
> http://www.k1faq.com/faq_index.htm Update AOS Experiences at:
> http://www.kamya.com/interview/intro.html Update POE Experiences at:
> http://www.k1poelist.com/ Update AOS filing: http://www.kamya.com/aos/ I-130/I-485
> Helpsite at: http://www.mindspring.com/~docsteen/...o/visainfo.htm
> http://www.geocities.com/immigration...-130/index.htm AOS filing; AOS,
> I-130 and K-1 Interview Experiences: http://www.kamya.com/interview/intro.html
>
>
> Posted via http://britishexpats.com
Mar 14th 2002, 10:35 pm
#23
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: O/T Andrew and the Dead Horse
Rete wrote:
> And that is your opinion Andrew. I don't share your opinion nor will I be
> browbeaten into submission to your view.
Nor will you apparently allow me to have my own opinion! Which is why you keep
hearing from me. But, of course, you still haven't figured that out yet.
> You have had your say, you have had your say, you have had your say, you have had
> your say, until your say has been redundant and manical.
You should talk!
> Your obssessiveness with having the last word can be viewed as either a personality
> flaw or a psychological problem.
Yeah right. Seems to me like you'll punish me with the "time" no matter what I say so
I figure hey, might as well do the "criime" that you alledge I'm doing!
> Now that have taken whatever sense of comfort this woman gleamed from this NG and
> left her with one less, if not the only, outlet to vent her emotional frustration
Good. This is not a group for venting emotional frustration about bad decisions in
martial partnerships nor eating disorders and the like.
> on (after all alt.depression might not sympathize with US/foreign internet
> relationships),
Her problems have little to do with US/foreign internet relationships.
> I do hope that you are satisfied and will let this thread and the original
> thread die.
Time will only tell.
> I, for one, will no longer respond to you as I find that your tirades are not
> substantiated by an education to back your diagnosis.
Oh goodie! Is that a promise?
>
Content-Type: text/html; charset=us-ascii
<html> <head> </head> <body> <mixed>Rete wrote:</mixed> <blockquote type="cite"
cite="mid:[email protected]"><m ixed> And that is your opinion
Andrew. I don't share your opinion nor will I be browbeaten into submission to your
view.</mixed></blockquote> Nor will you apparently allow me to have my own opinion!
Which is why you keep hearing from me. But, of course, you still haven't figured that
out yet.<br> <blockquote type="cite"
cite="mid:[email protected]"><m ixed> You have had your say, you
have had your say, you have had your say, you have had your say, until your say has
been redundant and manical.</mixed></blockquote> You should talk!<br> <blockquote
type="cite" cite="mid:[email protected]"><m ixed> Your
obssessiveness with having the last word can be viewed as either a personality flaw
or a psychological problem.</mixed></blockquote> Yeah right. Seems to me like you'll
punish me with the "time" no matter what I say so I figure hey, might as well do the
"criime" that you alledge I'm doing!<br> <blockquote type="cite"
cite="mid:[email protected]"><m ixed> Now that have taken whatever
sense of comfort this woman gleamed from this NG and left her with one less, if not
the only, outlet to vent her emotional frustration </mixed></blockquote> Good. This
is not a group for venting emotional frustration about bad decisions in martial
partnerships nor eating disorders and the like.<br> <blockquote type="cite"
cite="mid:[email protected]"><m ixed> on (after all alt.depression
might not sympathize with US/foreign internet relationships),</mixed></blockquote>
Her problems have little to do with US/foreign internet relationships.<br>
<blockquote type="cite" cite="mid:[email protected]"><m ixed> I do
hope that you are satisfied and will let this thread and the original thread
die.</mixed></blockquote> Time will only tell.<br> <blockquote type="cite"
cite="mid:[email protected]"><m ixed> I, for one, will no longer
respond to you as I find that your tirades are not substantiated by an education to
back your diagnosis.</mixed></blockquote> Oh goodie! Is that a promise?
<blockquote type="cite" cite="mid:[email protected]"></blockquote>
<blockquote type="cite" cite="mid:[email protected]"><m ixed><br>
</mixed></blockquote> </body> </html
> And that is your opinion Andrew. I don't share your opinion nor will I be
> browbeaten into submission to your view.
Nor will you apparently allow me to have my own opinion! Which is why you keep
hearing from me. But, of course, you still haven't figured that out yet.
> You have had your say, you have had your say, you have had your say, you have had
> your say, until your say has been redundant and manical.
You should talk!
> Your obssessiveness with having the last word can be viewed as either a personality
> flaw or a psychological problem.
Yeah right. Seems to me like you'll punish me with the "time" no matter what I say so
I figure hey, might as well do the "criime" that you alledge I'm doing!
> Now that have taken whatever sense of comfort this woman gleamed from this NG and
> left her with one less, if not the only, outlet to vent her emotional frustration
Good. This is not a group for venting emotional frustration about bad decisions in
martial partnerships nor eating disorders and the like.
> on (after all alt.depression might not sympathize with US/foreign internet
> relationships),
Her problems have little to do with US/foreign internet relationships.
> I do hope that you are satisfied and will let this thread and the original
> thread die.
Time will only tell.
> I, for one, will no longer respond to you as I find that your tirades are not
> substantiated by an education to back your diagnosis.
Oh goodie! Is that a promise?
>
Content-Type: text/html; charset=us-ascii
<html> <head> </head> <body> <mixed>Rete wrote:</mixed> <blockquote type="cite"
cite="mid:[email protected]"><m ixed> And that is your opinion
Andrew. I don't share your opinion nor will I be browbeaten into submission to your
view.</mixed></blockquote> Nor will you apparently allow me to have my own opinion!
Which is why you keep hearing from me. But, of course, you still haven't figured that
out yet.<br> <blockquote type="cite"
cite="mid:[email protected]"><m ixed> You have had your say, you
have had your say, you have had your say, you have had your say, until your say has
been redundant and manical.</mixed></blockquote> You should talk!<br> <blockquote
type="cite" cite="mid:[email protected]"><m ixed> Your
obssessiveness with having the last word can be viewed as either a personality flaw
or a psychological problem.</mixed></blockquote> Yeah right. Seems to me like you'll
punish me with the "time" no matter what I say so I figure hey, might as well do the
"criime" that you alledge I'm doing!<br> <blockquote type="cite"
cite="mid:[email protected]"><m ixed> Now that have taken whatever
sense of comfort this woman gleamed from this NG and left her with one less, if not
the only, outlet to vent her emotional frustration </mixed></blockquote> Good. This
is not a group for venting emotional frustration about bad decisions in martial
partnerships nor eating disorders and the like.<br> <blockquote type="cite"
cite="mid:[email protected]"><m ixed> on (after all alt.depression
might not sympathize with US/foreign internet relationships),</mixed></blockquote>
Her problems have little to do with US/foreign internet relationships.<br>
<blockquote type="cite" cite="mid:[email protected]"><m ixed> I do
hope that you are satisfied and will let this thread and the original thread
die.</mixed></blockquote> Time will only tell.<br> <blockquote type="cite"
cite="mid:[email protected]"><m ixed> I, for one, will no longer
respond to you as I find that your tirades are not substantiated by an education to
back your diagnosis.</mixed></blockquote> Oh goodie! Is that a promise?
<blockquote type="cite" cite="mid:[email protected]"></blockquote>
<blockquote type="cite" cite="mid:[email protected]"><m ixed><br>
</mixed></blockquote> </body> </html
Mar 14th 2002, 10:35 pm
#24
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: O/T Andrew and the Dead Horse
Bonnie M wrote:
> I seem to have the same thing going on as the great Grinch in that I don't get all
> of Andrew posts. Maybe we are the lucky ones.
There are things called filters and killfiles. Use 'em if you do not wish to see what
I post. I'd use 'em too if Netscape 6.x would support 'em.
> Nptey has obviously decided what she needs to do with her situation. Feeling as
> isolated as she has been, I think she turned to the newsgroup as friends and not
> just as looking for a vast array of opinions on what may be the right or wrong
> thing to do. She is likely feeling like a failure at this point in time and felt
> that the group was somewhere safe to turn.
Hence the suggestion, yet again, to go to alt.depression. Who knows, she might even
be there. That's a better place for her to address her problems and to get the
sympathy she desires. Note that as is often the case, there are people of all kinds
there too. But the topic of discussion is more germane to her issues.
> I seem to have the same thing going on as the great Grinch in that I don't get all
> of Andrew posts. Maybe we are the lucky ones.
There are things called filters and killfiles. Use 'em if you do not wish to see what
I post. I'd use 'em too if Netscape 6.x would support 'em.
> Nptey has obviously decided what she needs to do with her situation. Feeling as
> isolated as she has been, I think she turned to the newsgroup as friends and not
> just as looking for a vast array of opinions on what may be the right or wrong
> thing to do. She is likely feeling like a failure at this point in time and felt
> that the group was somewhere safe to turn.
Hence the suggestion, yet again, to go to alt.depression. Who knows, she might even
be there. That's a better place for her to address her problems and to get the
sympathy she desires. Note that as is often the case, there are people of all kinds
there too. But the topic of discussion is more germane to her issues.
Mar 14th 2002, 10:35 pm
#25
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: O/T Andrew and the Dead Horse
Your lucky I get a lot of his TWICE and sometimes THREE times LOL Bonnie M
<[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]...
> I seem to have the same thing going on as the great Grinch in that I don't get all
> of Andrew posts. Maybe we are the lucky ones. Nptey has obviously decided what she
> needs to do with her situation. Feeling as isolated as she has been, I think she
> turned to the newsgroup
as
> friends and not just as looking for a vast array of opinions on what may
be
> the right or wrong thing to do. She is likely feeling like a failure at this point
> in time and felt that the group was somewhere safe to turn. Considering the general
> attitude that society has for those of us who have met the ones we love on the
> internet, I can only imagine the feedback she would be getting from family and
> friends back home if she called and told them the whole story. I am sure there have
> been others who lives had taken a similar turn to
hers
> but they didnt post or weren't as honest about the situation. I
personally
> wish her the best of luck, and hope she keeps us posted on how life is
going
> for her. Bonnie
>
> "Rete" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
> > There isn't a bad guy in any of this Ranjini and that is what is so terrible
> > about the whole thing.
> >
> > This person does not have the ideal life situation at the moment. She did not
> > marry well financially, geographically, emotionally or
> > psychologically. Being thrust into a life she and her children were unprepared
> > for as it differed from what she was told to expect, caused an emotional
> > overload which manifested itself into a eating disorder. This in, and of
> > itself, is not a suicide attempt as suggested nor is it a cry for help. It is
> > one person's emotional and physical reaction to a situation that is causing
> > enormous amounts of stress.
> >
> > It is normal for one to lose weight at the height of depression. It is not seen
> > medically as a cry for help or an attempt at suicide. The mind at this point is
> > so overwhelmed with coping or trying to cope with the situation that causes
> > emotional pain has shut down the portion of the brain that triggers one's need
> > for nourishment.
> >
> > All in all, it is her life. Suggestions can be made as to what she might and
> > might not try. But it is her final decision to either accept or decline any
> > suggestions made on the NG.
> >
> > To get bent out of shape because she refuses to accept someone's analysis of
> > their emotional state, is like a child throwing a tantrum in the middle of the
> > department store because mommy doesn't agree that spending an hour in the toy
> > department is a good idea.
> >
> > Rita
> >
> >
> >
> > --
> > --
> > Rete and Jim (Can/Am Alumni '98)
> >
> > The K1 FAQ http://www.k1faq.com The Mysterious Sealed Brown Envelope
> > http://www.k1faq.com/faq_index.htm Update AOS Experiences at:
> > http://www.kamya.com/interview/intro.html Update POE Experiences at:
> > http://www.k1poelist.com/ Update AOS filing: http://www.kamya.com/aos/
> > I-130/I-485 Helpsite at:
> > http://www.mindspring.com/~docsteen/...o/visainfo.htm
> > http://www.geocities.com/immigration...-130/index.htm AOS filing; AOS,
> > I-130 and K-1 Interview Experiences: http://www.kamya.com/interview/intro.html
> >
> >
> > Posted via http://britishexpats.com
<[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]...
> I seem to have the same thing going on as the great Grinch in that I don't get all
> of Andrew posts. Maybe we are the lucky ones. Nptey has obviously decided what she
> needs to do with her situation. Feeling as isolated as she has been, I think she
> turned to the newsgroup
as
> friends and not just as looking for a vast array of opinions on what may
be
> the right or wrong thing to do. She is likely feeling like a failure at this point
> in time and felt that the group was somewhere safe to turn. Considering the general
> attitude that society has for those of us who have met the ones we love on the
> internet, I can only imagine the feedback she would be getting from family and
> friends back home if she called and told them the whole story. I am sure there have
> been others who lives had taken a similar turn to
hers
> but they didnt post or weren't as honest about the situation. I
personally
> wish her the best of luck, and hope she keeps us posted on how life is
going
> for her. Bonnie
>
> "Rete" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
> > There isn't a bad guy in any of this Ranjini and that is what is so terrible
> > about the whole thing.
> >
> > This person does not have the ideal life situation at the moment. She did not
> > marry well financially, geographically, emotionally or
> > psychologically. Being thrust into a life she and her children were unprepared
> > for as it differed from what she was told to expect, caused an emotional
> > overload which manifested itself into a eating disorder. This in, and of
> > itself, is not a suicide attempt as suggested nor is it a cry for help. It is
> > one person's emotional and physical reaction to a situation that is causing
> > enormous amounts of stress.
> >
> > It is normal for one to lose weight at the height of depression. It is not seen
> > medically as a cry for help or an attempt at suicide. The mind at this point is
> > so overwhelmed with coping or trying to cope with the situation that causes
> > emotional pain has shut down the portion of the brain that triggers one's need
> > for nourishment.
> >
> > All in all, it is her life. Suggestions can be made as to what she might and
> > might not try. But it is her final decision to either accept or decline any
> > suggestions made on the NG.
> >
> > To get bent out of shape because she refuses to accept someone's analysis of
> > their emotional state, is like a child throwing a tantrum in the middle of the
> > department store because mommy doesn't agree that spending an hour in the toy
> > department is a good idea.
> >
> > Rita
> >
> >
> >
> > --
> > --
> > Rete and Jim (Can/Am Alumni '98)
> >
> > The K1 FAQ http://www.k1faq.com The Mysterious Sealed Brown Envelope
> > http://www.k1faq.com/faq_index.htm Update AOS Experiences at:
> > http://www.kamya.com/interview/intro.html Update POE Experiences at:
> > http://www.k1poelist.com/ Update AOS filing: http://www.kamya.com/aos/
> > I-130/I-485 Helpsite at:
> > http://www.mindspring.com/~docsteen/...o/visainfo.htm
> > http://www.geocities.com/immigration...-130/index.htm AOS filing; AOS,
> > I-130 and K-1 Interview Experiences: http://www.kamya.com/interview/intro.html
> >
> >
> > Posted via http://britishexpats.com
Mar 14th 2002, 10:35 pm
#26
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: O/T Andrew and the Dead Horse
Steve & Lisa wrote:
> You are some of the lucky ones. Using our newsreader, we were unfortunate enough
> to see two of Andrew's posts in triplicate....guess he has a problem with the
> enter button.
No I had a problem with my ISPs news server - or rather they had a problem. BTW the
"enter button" does not post articles for me.
> You are some of the lucky ones. Using our newsreader, we were unfortunate enough
> to see two of Andrew's posts in triplicate....guess he has a problem with the
> enter button.
No I had a problem with my ISPs news server - or rather they had a problem. BTW the
"enter button" does not post articles for me.
Mar 15th 2002, 12:35 am
#27
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: O/T Andrew and the Dead Horse
On Thu, 14 Mar 2002 09:07:19 -0800, Andrew DeFaria <[email protected]> spake:
>Sorry but I disagree. Forgetting to eat because one's stressed out leading to a wait
>loss is one thing. Not eating to the point of needed to be hospitalized is an
>attempt at suicide. You can view the motivation as a cry for help but it's a cry for
>help made by attempting to kill oneself which is suicide (and saying I had no idea
>that it might kill me is ludicrous, IMHO).
Again, where Andrew knows better than the professionals.
>Sorry but I disagree. Forgetting to eat because one's stressed out leading to a wait
>loss is one thing. Not eating to the point of needed to be hospitalized is an
>attempt at suicide. You can view the motivation as a cry for help but it's a cry for
>help made by attempting to kill oneself which is suicide (and saying I had no idea
>that it might kill me is ludicrous, IMHO).
Again, where Andrew knows better than the professionals.
Mar 15th 2002, 12:35 am
#28
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: O/T Andrew and the Dead Horse
On Thu, 14 Mar 2002 15:22:30 -0800, Andrew DeFaria <[email protected]> spake:
>
>
>Rete wrote:
>
>> And that is your opinion Andrew. I don't share your opinion nor will I be
>> browbeaten into submission to your view.
>
>Nor will you apparently allow me to have my own opinion! Which is why you keep
>hearing from me. But, of course, you still haven't figured that out yet.
No - the problem is that you don't see to voice your opinion once and let it lie. You
seem to need to preach it over and over. THAT was Rete's well-put point. She never
said you weren't allowed your opinion, nor was that the point of her post. Read her
post again - the point was there's no need for you to continually post it.
>> You have had your say, you have had your say, you have had your say, you have had
>> your say, until your say has been redundant and manical.
>
>You should talk!
Count a bit on the original post, Andrew - see who posted the same thing over and
over and over again. It certainly wasn't Rete.
>> Your obssessiveness with having the last word can be viewed as either a
>> personality flaw or a psychological problem.
Maybe he's the one who needs professional help here?
>> Now that have taken whatever sense of comfort this woman gleamed from this NG and
>> left her with one less, if not the only, outlet to vent her emotional frustration
>
>Good. This is not a group for venting emotional frustration about bad decisions in
>martial partnerships nor eating disorders and the like.
But it *is* a place to get advice and support about international marriages, and it
*is* also a community of people who don't necessarily have to stay to one and only
one topic. People here post about buying new houses, about births of children, about
fear of flying. People come for support from being separated from loved ones. And
people come here when the marriage they traveled so far to create has problems.
If you have problems with that concept, maybe this isn't the place for you to be.
>> I, for one, will no longer respond to you as I find that your tirades are not
>> substantiated by an education to back your diagnosis.
>
>Oh goodie! Is that a promise?
Consider 2 promises.
Betastar
>
>
>Rete wrote:
>
>> And that is your opinion Andrew. I don't share your opinion nor will I be
>> browbeaten into submission to your view.
>
>Nor will you apparently allow me to have my own opinion! Which is why you keep
>hearing from me. But, of course, you still haven't figured that out yet.
No - the problem is that you don't see to voice your opinion once and let it lie. You
seem to need to preach it over and over. THAT was Rete's well-put point. She never
said you weren't allowed your opinion, nor was that the point of her post. Read her
post again - the point was there's no need for you to continually post it.
>> You have had your say, you have had your say, you have had your say, you have had
>> your say, until your say has been redundant and manical.
>
>You should talk!
Count a bit on the original post, Andrew - see who posted the same thing over and
over and over again. It certainly wasn't Rete.
>> Your obssessiveness with having the last word can be viewed as either a
>> personality flaw or a psychological problem.
Maybe he's the one who needs professional help here?
>> Now that have taken whatever sense of comfort this woman gleamed from this NG and
>> left her with one less, if not the only, outlet to vent her emotional frustration
>
>Good. This is not a group for venting emotional frustration about bad decisions in
>martial partnerships nor eating disorders and the like.
But it *is* a place to get advice and support about international marriages, and it
*is* also a community of people who don't necessarily have to stay to one and only
one topic. People here post about buying new houses, about births of children, about
fear of flying. People come for support from being separated from loved ones. And
people come here when the marriage they traveled so far to create has problems.
If you have problems with that concept, maybe this isn't the place for you to be.
>> I, for one, will no longer respond to you as I find that your tirades are not
>> substantiated by an education to back your diagnosis.
>
>Oh goodie! Is that a promise?
Consider 2 promises.
Betastar
Mar 15th 2002, 3:05 pm
#29
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: O/T Andrew and the Dead Horse
Mrs Blackross <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> grinch...I noticed when replying to andrew's posts that he posts using html...maybe
> your newsreader can't read those?
Actually his posts do not show up on
Newsguy Earthlink or Adelphia news servers....
Word is out on doofuswittia
Grinch
news:[email protected]...
> grinch...I noticed when replying to andrew's posts that he posts using html...maybe
> your newsreader can't read those?
Actually his posts do not show up on
Newsguy Earthlink or Adelphia news servers....
Word is out on doofuswittia
Grinch
Mar 15th 2002, 10:35 pm
#30
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: O/T Andrew and the Dead Horse
"Grinch" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Actually his posts do not show up on
>
> Newsguy Earthlink or Adelphia news servers....
I lie...I now see his posts on Earthlink...let me get a beer and peruse them!
Grinch
news:[email protected]...
> Actually his posts do not show up on
>
> Newsguy Earthlink or Adelphia news servers....
I lie...I now see his posts on Earthlink...let me get a beer and peruse them!
Grinch