Newbie here
Hello all newbie here. Sorry I have posted this in the welcome thread too. I am hoping I can get some really great help and advice in the minefield of trying to move to the USA.
My story is that at 54 I thought I would never find love again. Well I have. And I have been with a lovely american lady for over 14 months now. We have visited each other several times and we want to marry in the future. I have used the ESTA. Unfortunately she is only separated currently as her estranged husband won't give her a divorce. So I obviously want to be near to her while we wait. As far as I can tell its almost an impossibility. I used to be an EMT for an NHS Ambulance service and I was hoping I could get an EMT or a healthcare job there. So far I have been unsuccessful hence my reason for coming here. I guess I am looking in the wrong places. If anyone could offer any help or advice I would be very grateful as these tearful goodbye's at the airport are killing both of us (I know I am a soppy old git). Thanks Adam |
Re: Newbie here
Adam...at your age and skillset no one is going to offer you a job in the US.
Hasn't she been estranged long enough to obtain a divorce without his agreement? Do you have sufficient financial resources to support her if she came to the UK? |
Re: Newbie here
Originally Posted by adamcarts
(Post 11540420)
Hello all newbie here. Sorry I have posted this in the welcome thread too. I am hoping I can get some really great help and advice in the minefield of trying to move to the USA.
My story is that at 54 I thought I would never find love again. Well I have. And I have been with a lovely american lady for over 14 months now. We have visited each other several times and we want to marry in the future. I have used the ESTA. Unfortunately she is only separated currently as her estranged husband won't give her a divorce. So I obviously want to be near to her while we wait. As far as I can tell its almost an impossibility. I used to be an EMT for an NHS Ambulance service and I was hoping I could get an EMT or a healthcare job there. So far I have been unsuccessful hence my reason for coming here. I guess I am looking in the wrong places. If anyone could offer any help or advice I would be very grateful as these tearful goodbye's at the airport are killing both of us (I know I am a soppy old git). Thanks Adam |
Re: Newbie here
Cross border relationships (outside the EU anyway) can be difficult. Realistically, you will have to wait until she is divorced before you can make long term plans as the only visa route I see for either of you is through marriage. So you will have to content yourselves with visits for now.
How quickly she can get a divorce will depend on where she lives. Some states have liberal divorce laws, others can require long term separations before divorce if both parties don't agree. |
Re: Newbie here
Useful divorce law information. Some general principles and sections for each State.
U.S. Divorce Law |
Re: Newbie here
Thank you everyone... yes it seems that waiting and divorce is the only option unfortunately. Her estranged husband will fight her all the way as he doesn't want a divorce. She lives in Illinois.
|
Re: Newbie here
Originally Posted by adamcarts
(Post 11540463)
Thank you everyone... yes it seems that waiting and divorce is the only option unfortunately. Her estranged husband will fight her all the way as he doesn't want a divorce. She lives in Illinois.
Illinois Divorce: Dividing Property | DivorceNet.com If there are any minor children involved, custody issues can be tricky and both parents may be required to take some sort of "class" on how to be good parents during/after a divorce. If it's just property, you can get arbitration from the court and a decision by the judge. Unfair division does not have to be agreed to and is frowned upon by the Illinois courts. Again, personal differences are not relevant. He can't prevent a divorce just because he "doesn't want one". |
Re: Newbie here
Originally Posted by adamcarts
(Post 11540463)
Thank you everyone... yes it seems that waiting and divorce is the only option unfortunately. Her estranged husband will fight her all the way as he doesn't want a divorce. She lives in Illinois.
|
Re: Newbie here
No minor children involved. No property either as he gambled it all away. She knows that he will not go for a no fault divorce. It seems as though we have a battle on our hands either way. :-(
|
Re: Newbie here
Originally Posted by adamcarts
(Post 11540481)
No minor children involved. No property either as he gambled it all away. She knows that he will not go for a no fault divorce. It seems as though we have a battle on our hands either way. :-(
|
Re: Newbie here
Originally Posted by adamcarts
(Post 11540481)
No minor children involved. No property either as he gambled it all away. She knows that he will not go for a no fault divorce. It seems as though we have a battle on our hands either way. :-(
Again, you can't compel someone to remain married if they don't want to. Just wait until the 2 years of separation is up, and there you are. File now, get the ball rolling. The judge may tell him there is no point in waiting and he may give up and sign. Is there a risk that she will be asked to support him financially? |
Re: Newbie here
She has a son of 20 that lives with her and her estranged husband comes around the house to spend time with him. He often sleeps there in his sons room. There has been no intimacy between there for around 2 years. She believes that he will want to try and get as much from her as he can. I don't understand the legalities to be honest but as they were married for over 30 years she says that he will try and get pension rights and other financial stipulations put upon her.
|
Re: Newbie here
How long have they been separated?
(And she lets him stay overnight...sorry, I don't know if that muddies the waters legally.) |
Re: Newbie here
Originally Posted by adamcarts
(Post 11540502)
She has a son of 20 that lives with her and her estranged husband comes around the house to spend time with him. He often sleeps there in his sons room. There has been no intimacy between there for around 2 years. She believes that he will want to try and get as much from her as he can. I don't understand the legalities to be honest but as they were married for over 30 years she says that he will try and get pension rights and other financial stipulations put upon her.
Illinois Divorce Law - Divorce and Legal Separation in Illinois .../Illinois divorcee, not a lawyer, don't play one on tv, don't even look like a lawyer |
Re: Newbie here
Originally Posted by adamcarts
(Post 11540502)
She has a son of 20 that lives with her and her estranged husband comes around the house to spend time with him. He often sleeps there in his sons room. There has been no intimacy between there for around 2 years. She believes that he will want to try and get as much from her as he can. I don't understand the legalities to be honest but as they were married for over 30 years she says that he will try and get pension rights and other financial stipulations put upon her.
|
All times are GMT. The time now is 2:23 am. |
Powered by vBulletin: ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.