need advice

Old Sep 30th 2002, 5:55 pm
  #1  
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Default need advice

My husband sponsored my son who is 17 to come here in the US. So this month he arrived. Everything was fine until my mother start telling him lies about me and my husband. His attitude changed even towards his sisters.
I left him when he was 3 years under my family's care then my dad came then my mom and then my other sister. He was left with my other sister then lastly with a close family friend. We communicate through phone and e-mails. Last
August we all came home to the Philippines to help him get his visa. Me , my husband and 2 sisters. It was a very happy moment for me having seen him last when he was 3 years old. Why? I had immigration problem up until 1997 and then diagnosed with Leukemia after that. Anyway my problem is
since he hasn't lived with me for so long we are like stranger to each other in short he believed my mother lies and now it
is creating a gap between us. My husband hasn't said anything yet but I fear that seeing the situation between us, his kids, and me being sick and all, he might decide to send him back to the Philippines. Can he do that being the Sponsor? My son got a IR2 and has been granted green card
status. Please give me some advice.
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Old Oct 1st 2002, 12:16 am
  #2  
Sylvia Ottemoeller
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Default Re: need advice

"monkjet" wrote in message
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    > My husband sponsored my son who is 17 to come here in the US.
    > So this month he arrived. Everything was fine until my mother start
    > telling him lies about me and my husband. His attitude changed even
    > towards his sisters.
    > I left him when he was 3 years under my family's care then my dad came
    > then my mom and then my other sister. He was left with my other sister
    > then lastly with a close family friend. We communicate through phone and
    > e-mails. Last
    > August we all came home to the Philippines to help him get his visa. Me
    > , my husband and 2 sisters. It was a very happy moment for me having
    > seen him last when he was 3 years old. Why? I had immigration problem up
    > until 1997 and then diagnosed with Leukemia after that. Anyway my
    > problem is
    > since he hasn't lived with me for so long we are like stranger to each
    > other in short he believed my mother lies and now it
    > is creating a gap between us. My husband hasn't said anything yet but I
    > fear that seeing the situation between us, his kids, and me being sick
    > and all, he might decide to send him back to the Philippines. Can he do
    > that being the Sponsor?

Your husband cannot take away your son's permanent resident status. He
cannot compel your son to travel to Philippines if your son does not want to
do that.

If your husband does not want your son living in his house, he can make your
son leave the house.

Your husband signed the I-864, Affidavit of Support, promising to support
your son in the U.S., so that the son will not use means-tested welfare
benefits. That means that if your son applies for welfare, the U.S.
government can compel your husband to reimburse the government for any
benefits paid.

My son got a IR2 and has been granted green card
    > status. Please give me some advice.

I suggest that you arrange for a consultation with a mental health care
professional, perhaps a licensed marriage-family-child counselor. This
person can act as a neutral party during a meeting which includes your
mother, yourself and your son. Even if your mother refuses to attend the
meeting, I think that a meeting with just you and your son and the counselor
could be helpful. And even if the son refuses, you could use some guidance
from a professional counselor on how to act toward your son. You can't
change your son, but maybe you can change your own behavior so your son is
motivated to change his behavior.
 

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