Trish S

Maybe, but it doesn't help an already difficult situation. It's not what I would want for my children, but I don't think we have much choice in the matter. We are stuck between a rock and a hard place, which is why I'm trying to get as much ADVISE as possible. I already know it's not ideal and am having a hard time already.

Pulaski

So, you want advice? Stay in the UK until you have settled your daughter either into full time study, or a career-worthy job. If your husband still wants to take the job, he should come ahead of you.

I don't see any easy way to get your 19 year old daughter onto a path towards success in life if you bring her to the US, unless you have the money to fund degree-level studies for her. ..... think $30,000+/yr, though she could start with a couple of years at a community college at a much lower cost, but she will likely find some of the work at duplication of what she studied several years ago, as she will be expected to do English and maths no matter what degree she enrolls for.

Trish S

Thanks again. You are a great source of information.

Owen778

Ah. I don't think you'd told us before that it's a difficult situation. That isn't very clear, though. Do you mean that he can either move or lose his job?

If so, I suspect your best bet may be for your husband to negotiate extra time off and/or some time each month working from the UK, plus paid flights back to the UK, and the rest of the family stay where you are. Not an ideal solution, but probably preferable to bringing a 19yo to do nothing in the US.

What was the 19yo planning to do if you didn't move to the US? Attend a UK university or vocational training? Start work?

N1cky

When we'd moved to the US 9 years ago, I was on here moaning, I too expressed I felt we had no choice... someone on here gave me a good reality check. I was pissed off at the time, but in hindsight it was a wonderful statement, and something that I've referred back to many times over the years.

It went along the lines of "you do have a choice, you just don't like it. You are choosing to live in a 3 bed detached house, with your 2 cars, and 2 weeks vacation. You could chose to live in a terrace in the UK, get the bus and have a weekend in Great Yarmouth"

Moving away from everyone and everything you know is hard, way harder than you can ever imagine. Virtually everyone on this site has done it, some make it a success, others chose to go back, others just live with regrets and feel stuck in one place or another. No-one gives advise to hurt, or make life more difficult, if you ask for advise on a board people are going to give it, you're not forced to like what you hear.

Trish S

Thanks everyone. The info has been very helpful.
Bye for now. 🙂