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Moving children to US from UK but know I'll struggle with ex husband not agreeing

Moving children to US from UK but know I'll struggle with ex husband not agreeing

Old Jan 3rd 2016, 8:49 pm
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Default Moving children to US from UK but know I'll struggle with ex husband not agreeing

I've been with my new partner for 2 years & I'm currently divorced to my boys dad.
My partner has been offered a job in Florida & to be part ownership of a company.
We would love to make the big move as have visited it with my children & we all love it incl boys.
I would love advise off anyone who can help as don't think my ex will allow me to go ahead with this.
It will be life changing for my children & would make us all have better standard of life, their father see's them twice a month & pays £100 each maintenance per month. I would never stop contact & he could visit as much as he wanted but I like advise on helping us make it there, hope anyone can help, thank you
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Old Jan 3rd 2016, 8:51 pm
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Default Re: Moving children to US from UK but know I'll struggle with ex husband not agreeing

Originally Posted by Trow1982 View Post
I've been with my new partner for 2 years & I'm currently divorced to my boys dad.
My partner has been offered a job in Florida & to be part ownership of a company.
We would love to make the big move as have visited it with my children & we all love it incl boys.
I would love advise off anyone who can help as don't think my ex will allow me to go ahead with this.
It will be life changing for my children & would make us all have better standard of life, their father see's them twice a month & pays £100 each maintenance per month. I would never stop contact & he could visit as much as he wanted but I like advise on helping us make it there, hope anyone can help, thank you
The only other way would be to get a court order if he will not agree.
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Old Jan 3rd 2016, 9:19 pm
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Default Re: Moving children to US from UK but know I'll struggle with ex husband not agreeing

You will also need to be married to your partner.
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Old Jan 3rd 2016, 9:20 pm
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Default Re: Moving children to US from UK but know I'll struggle with ex husband not agreeing

Originally Posted by mikelincs View Post
The only other way would be to get a court order if he will not agree.
Ditto. If the father won't give consent, you'll need to get a court order.

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Old Jan 3rd 2016, 9:31 pm
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Default Re: Moving children to US from UK but know I'll struggle with ex husband not agreeing

Thank you for your replies I think next step is to start applying to the courts.
Appreciate your advice
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Old Jan 3rd 2016, 9:37 pm
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Default Re: Moving children to US from UK but know I'll struggle with ex husband not agreeing

Well looking at it from the children's fathers POV it is easy to see why he would not want his children to be so far away. Perhaps he might be open to the idea if you offer to do things to help minimize the impact on his relationship with them? Maybe you could pay for his flights and accommodation to visit them in the US twice a year and pay for them to visit him in the UK? Offer to facilitate weekly skype sessions for them to chat with him. Will they spend Christmas with him, or the summer holidays, or alternate?

If you are able to show him how he would be able to maintain his relationship with his boys despite the distance then maybe he will agree. It's bound to be a tough one for him though
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Old Jan 3rd 2016, 9:49 pm
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Default Re: Moving children to US from UK but know I'll struggle with ex husband not agreeing

Originally Posted by sir_eccles View Post
You will also need to be married to your partner.
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Old Jan 3rd 2016, 9:56 pm
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Default Re: Moving children to US from UK but know I'll struggle with ex husband not agreeing

Originally Posted by Trow1982 View Post
Thank you for your replies I think next step is to start applying to the courts.
Appreciate your advice
No, your next step is to make sure the move is even possible!

Being offered a job (with part ownership of a company) does not immediately sound like it would result in a visa, which would need to be applied for by the sponsoring company and is NOT a guaranteed route to permanent residence. Read Pulaski's Ways in the Wiki at the top of the page before you go any further.

You don't want to risk alienating the father with potentially fanciful ideas if they are, in reality, not going to happen.

If you're already at the visa stage, than ignore this completely, but I suspect that this is another dream that won't even get off the ground.
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Old Jan 4th 2016, 6:10 am
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Default Re: Moving children to US from UK but know I'll struggle with ex husband not agreeing

Originally Posted by Trow1982 View Post
I've been with my new partner for 2 years & I'm currently divorced to my boys dad.
My partner has been offered a job in Florida & to be part ownership of a company.
We would love to make the big move as have visited it with my children & we all love it incl boys.
I would love advise off anyone who can help as don't think my ex will allow me to go ahead with this.
It will be life changing for my children & would make us all have better standard of life, their father see's them twice a month & pays £100 each maintenance per month. I would never stop contact & he could visit as much as he wanted but I like advise on helping us make it there, hope anyone can help, thank you
OK, we don't know your full story. So I'll go off guesswork. WTF, on face value you are taking the children thousands of miles from their father, then wondering if he will condone it. That is selfish. What input does dad have in this? How and when will he see his children?
Like I said, we don't know the full story. Given what you have shared, I'd say if you want to go have an adventure with your new fella then at least bring dad in to the dialogue - would he want to have custody of the kids, and would the kids reciprocate?
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Old Jan 4th 2016, 1:33 pm
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Default Re: Moving children to US from UK but know I'll struggle with ex husband not agreeing

Originally Posted by Guindalf View Post
but I suspect that this is another dream that won't even get off the ground.
I think you nailed it there.
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Old Jan 4th 2016, 2:31 pm
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Default Re: Moving children to US from UK but know I'll struggle with ex husband not agreeing

Originally Posted by Trow1982 View Post
Thank you for your replies I think next step is to start applying to the courts.
Appreciate your advice
To be honest, I would be very surprised if the courts allow you to take the children out of the UK. And the reason for that is the same reason that I wouldn't personally even consider asking in the first place, even if it might be successful.

We are in a similar situation, but in the US. My wife's three kids from her previous marriage visit their dad about once a month, for a weekend at a time. We have considered moving back to the UK, or just to elsewhere in the US, but doing so would take the children far away from their father. If we did that, we would, rightly, be liable to pay for their travel to visit him. And even if we thought that was economically possible, the travel hassle we'd be inflicting on the children every month would be unacceptable.

It's not clear to me how you think he would be able to see his children "as much as he wants" if they moved ten hours or more flying time away. You can say that, but the distances involved alone make that untrue. And you can then consider the cost, which I can't imagine he can afford if he's only paying £100/m child maintenance.
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Old Jan 4th 2016, 3:57 pm
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Default Re: Moving children to US from UK but know I'll struggle with ex husband not agreeing

If he sees them twice a month, do you really think it would be fair to move them away from him? What would you do if they chose not to move with you and wanted to live with him instead? 'He could visit as much as he wanted' is not the same as genuinely facilitating a relationship. With the best will in the world, he cannot be involved in their day to day lives if you take them that far away from him, and you cannot expect him to foot the bill for him to come and visit them.
Legally speaking, you would need his permission. You would also likely have to cover the costs of their travel back and forth to see him on a regular basis, and potentially even some or all of his travel. Salaries in Florida are very low compared to the cost of living. How old are your children?
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Old Jan 4th 2016, 4:45 pm
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Default Re: Moving children to US from UK but know I'll struggle with ex husband not agreeing

My children are 10 & 8 & they really wish to live there too as we've visited on many occasions.
Regarding me being selfish I'm far from it, I've been fighting for him to be part of there lives from being little.
He has lived in afghan as a security guard for many years & also told me last year he has a interview in London to work in Dubai & he would only be home once a year but that fell through so he is willing to live away but they can't?
I've had to beg for £200 out of him & he owns his own business, rents a 4 bed 3 storey house & drives around in a new convertible Audi that cost him £1000 a month.
I had domestic violence through my marriage & had to get a 12 month injunction on him last year so he has only started seein his boys twice a month since I felt he was less angry & was ready again. I know not all fathers are like this but my kids deserve a better life I would never stop them from seeing him I would come back to uk to visit & he could come to us too, it's a difficult dicition for me this is why I appreciate all your comments, thank you
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Old Jan 4th 2016, 4:47 pm
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Default Re: Moving children to US from UK but know I'll struggle with ex husband not agreeing

It may not be a decision at all unless you have the ability to get a visa. Which visa were you planning on using?
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Old Jan 4th 2016, 4:57 pm
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Default Re: Moving children to US from UK but know I'll struggle with ex husband not agreeing

My partner would be working & part owner of a US company so maybe a working visa.
I have been to a college out there & was going to apply for doing a course out there, this is only the start of us getting help or ideas on this so any help would be appreciated.
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