More to vent on...
Yes, another venting thread from me...
Just had a big row with my mum on the phone, I said to her about the possibility of me coming back home and getting a job so my husband can move over to the UK eventually rather than us going through immigration in the US (which is taking so long we are barely surviving), she was fine about me coming back home and living with her for a while until I got myself sorted out, then she rings me back later on and says no, because she spoke to my brothers (who also live at home) and they aren't keen on the idea. My mum has never been there for me in my life and really, I should have known better than to even consider relying on her for anything. Everything has always been about my brothers (who both have highly paid jobs as the result of a brilliant encouraged upbringing, lucky them) and always will be about them. So now, if I get denied for my GC here, or I have to return to the UK for whatever reason, I have nowhere to go, no money, no job, nothing. Isn't life great? Luckily, we have been able to borrow money from my husbands parents to tide us over so we aren't going to be in such a hole as we thought, but the way my mum has treated me is like she shut the door in my face. She's been messing my life up for far too long, I hope she enjoys her old age because my brothers are too selfish to look after her and she needn't be looking around for me when she needs me for anything. |
Re: More to vent on...
sorry to hear that...i never have had family to rely on and so have never been let down like that. don't be bitter against your mum for the mo, she's piggy in the middle here, give her time to think it all over and sleep on it.
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Re: More to vent on...
Originally Posted by TruBrit
(Post 6214195)
sorry to hear that...i never have had family to rely on and so have never been let down like that. don't be bitter against your mum for the mo, she's piggy in the middle here, give her time to think it all over and sleep on it.
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Re: More to vent on...
Originally Posted by Emma M
(Post 6214221)
I wouldn't be if it was just over this, but it happens time and time again. This is just the icing on the cake.
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Re: More to vent on...
Originally Posted by TruBrit
(Post 6214239)
so your brothers have highly paid jobs and are still living at home :confused:
A door will open soon Emma! Even is its not your mums. Edit: Wine and "theres" dont mix =P |
Re: More to vent on...
Originally Posted by TruBrit
(Post 6214239)
so your brothers have highly paid jobs and are still living at home :confused:
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Re: More to vent on...
Your not alone, I have had the same problem.
At the end of 2001 I was promised the earth by my parents, job, somewhere to live, sponsorship etc etc And then suddenly they changed their minds because on the sponsorship application they had to put their personal details and didn't want me seeing. And 7 years later I am still here. |
Re: More to vent on...
Originally Posted by Tootsie Frickensprinkles
(Post 6214251)
Thats what I was wondering about, none of there god dam business and wtf are they still there for anyway.
A door will open soon Emma! Even is its not your mums. |
Re: More to vent on...
Originally Posted by babsi
(Post 6214350)
Your not alone, I have had the same problem.
At the end of 2001 I was promised the earth by my parents, job, somewhere to live, sponsorship etc etc And then suddenly they changed their minds because on the sponsorship application they had to put their personal details and didn't want me seeing. And 7 years later I am still here. |
Re: More to vent on...
Originally Posted by Emma M
(Post 6214363)
I agree with that, but they are my mother's precious "boys". Always have been. I know it is personal stuff but I'm the one who had to look after them when I was growing up while she went out and worked 2 jobs, I cooked and cleaned for them and did all that so we could make it as a family, I never complained at the time because I knew my mum wouldn't need the stress, I was always either pushed aside or relied upon as I was growing up while my brothers had a great amount of friends, social activities, wore all the latest sports gear while I got catalogue reject clothing which I was bullied over at school, I was the chubby one who was made to weigh myself in front of the family every Sunday for their amusement, never had many friends because I was too busy helping out the family, grew up with all sorts of emotional and anger problems which I have been heavily blamed for by my family as if I am some sort of freak, had 10 years of abuse from my ex husband which my mum never understood, never supported me over, so I have properly had a gutful of her and my brothers.
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Re: More to vent on...
Originally Posted by TruBrit
(Post 6214386)
hmm time to stop being the victim in all this emma, enough is enough!
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Re: More to vent on...
Originally Posted by Emma M
(Post 6214424)
Tell me about it! I know, it is a hard habit to break though. I need to get stronger, I thought I WAS strong.
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Re: More to vent on...
Originally Posted by Emma M
(Post 6214363)
I agree with that, but they are my mother's precious "boys". Always have been. I know it is personal stuff but I'm the one who had to look after them when I was growing up while she went out and worked 2 jobs, I cooked and cleaned for them and did all that so we could make it as a family, I never complained at the time because I knew my mum wouldn't need the stress, I was always either pushed aside or relied upon as I was growing up while my brothers had a great amount of friends, social activities, wore all the latest sports gear while I got catalogue reject clothing which I was bullied over at school, I was the chubby one who was made to weigh myself in front of the family every Sunday for their amusement, never had many friends because I was too busy helping out the family, grew up with all sorts of emotional and anger problems which I have been heavily blamed for by my family as if I am some sort of freak, had 10 years of abuse from my ex husband which my mum never understood, never supported me over, so I have properly had a gutful of her and my brothers.
What you need honey is some control back in your life and I know exactly how little you feel you have atm, I have been right where you are. I was stuck more by him not wanting/being able to go back to the UK though, rather than the money side of it. Now we are somewhat trapped by the exrate situation but thats a different matter! If going home to the UK really is not an option right now then you have to find some way of being positive even though you're stuck where you are. What's your immediate situation like? Do you ahve access to a car, what kind of employment (if you had EAD or GC) would you be looking at? I'm an expert now at filling empty days and blocking out the anxiety to the point where I dont rip my hair out everyday. Whilst I know its not a long term solution it does help day to day and you sound like you need to improve the day to day to stop the rows and lighten the upset. |
Re: More to vent on...
Originally Posted by TruBrit
(Post 6214479)
there must be lots on the web about how not be a victim...just always remember you do not have to let circumstances dictate your life.
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Re: More to vent on...
Originally Posted by Emma M
(Post 6214494)
I do know all this, I have worked very hard at myself to become strong. It amazed me how easily that can be broken down. I wasn't as strong as I thought. Maybe a lesson to be learned from it.
What you've got to do is untangle the mess and take one step at a time back into control. |
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