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Tone Jul 15th 2004 2:15 pm

Manoeuvre Signal Manoeuvre Mirror
 
Check status of mullet in mirror

Pull in to left hand lane at junction while adjusting drinking coffee and organising social life on cellphone

Check mirror to find out who is tooting at you

Wonder "what's his problem, I missed him didn't I?"

Slam on brakes

Swerve right to advance by one car

FFS one shower of rain this morning and there are 3 wrecks in a half mile, and I'm late getting to work and extremely pissed off :mad:

Lion in Winter Jul 15th 2004 11:51 pm

Re: Manoeuvre Signal Manoeuvre Mirror
 

Originally posted by Tone
Check status of mullet in mirror

Pull in to left hand lane at junction while adjusting drinking coffee and organising social life on cellphone

Check mirror to find out who is tooting at you

Wonder "what's his problem, I missed him didn't I?"

Slam on brakes

Swerve right to advance by one car

FFS one shower of rain this morning and there are 3 wrecks in a half mile, and I'm late getting to work and extremely pissed off :mad:
Rain? HA. Tampa's just a walk in the woods. You should try up here in the northland when the snow and ice come down and you've got a jackknifing 18-wheeler on your tail. You'ld think they would teach them to drive those things before they let them out in winter.

Patrick Jul 16th 2004 3:12 am

Preparing for you're american driving test

If you’re preparing for your US DMV driving exam there are a few rules (apart from driving on the right) that you will need to know

10. The posted speed limits are just a suggestion

9. Using an indicator (blinker) will only confuse other road users

8. Rules for Traffic lights
- Approaching on green –accelerate
- Approaching on amber – accelerate
- Approaching on red – accelerate even faster and close eyes
- Sat at a red light that turns green, pray then move off slowly

7. When changing lanes – mirror, signal, manoeuvre is for amateurs. Change lanes by merging slowly, statistically there is only a 50% chance of a car being there.

6. You must be able to drive with a cell phone in your right hand and a cigarette in your left hand and still be able to give the finger when needed (not applicable in California)

5. Old people can drive with their right foot on the accelerator and their left foot on the brake – thus burning the retinas of the driver behind

4. The most aggressive drivers have “my son/daughter is a honors student� or “God is my co-pilot� bumper stickers

3. Snow chains are for girls (New England states and Canada only)

2. The faster the speeds, the closer to car in front you should be

1. He who has the biggest truck wins

ScousePete Jul 16th 2004 3:19 am


Originally posted by Patrick
5. Old people can drive with their right foot on the accelerator and their left foot on the brake – thus burning the retinas of the driver behind
How do they do that?

Take your foot off the brake!! http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung...smiley-035.gif

If you want to slow down gradually, take your foot off the accelerator :lecture:


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