Lost my Dad yesterday - Tell me about bereavement flights.
Jan 30th 2018, 2:42 pm
#31
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Re: Lost my Dad yesterday - Tell me about bereavement flights.
Well, my Dad passed at about 4am yesterday. We went quietly in his sleep aged 93, after having some heath issues, but mostly suffering from dementia for the last few years of his life.
Due to family issues, I don't even know if I'll fly back for the funeral, but having not seen anything on bereavement flights in the forum recently, I wonder if anyone else has looked into it, what it cost, how much notice is required, etc. If it matters, I'll be flying from Atlanta to London (Family's in Milton Keynes), most likely alone, and, of course, I'll need to rent a car.
TIA.
Due to family issues, I don't even know if I'll fly back for the funeral, but having not seen anything on bereavement flights in the forum recently, I wonder if anyone else has looked into it, what it cost, how much notice is required, etc. If it matters, I'll be flying from Atlanta to London (Family's in Milton Keynes), most likely alone, and, of course, I'll need to rent a car.
TIA.
Hugs, Stef
Jan 30th 2018, 10:00 pm
#32
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Joined: Oct 2016
Location: Scotland
Posts: 200
Re: Lost my Dad yesterday - Tell me about bereavement flights.
Guindalf - I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your father. May your memories of the good times you had with your father both comfort and sustain you. You have had so much to deal with regarding your wife, MIL, FIL and best friend. Perhaps for your sanity and well-being you can “detach with love” from your family in England for the time being. You are obviously hurting and the person you need to look after yourself the most right now is you. When you say your wife doesn’t know what to do to console you - perhaps you can sit down together, she can hold your hand and and she can say to you “tell me stories about you and your father”. Sending my best wishes to you.
Jan 31st 2018, 6:44 pm
#33
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Re: Lost my Dad yesterday - Tell me about bereavement flights.
I'm sorry to hear of your loss. Milton Keynes was certainly an interesting place to live. People's attitudes varied a lot, especially on the Lakes estate and Netherfield.
Feb 4th 2018, 6:04 pm
#34
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Re: Lost my Dad yesterday - Tell me about bereavement flights.
Just a practical note if you are trying to set a return date - the wait time for funerals seems to be very long at the moment. Of course, I don't know what part of the country you are going to, nor whether it will be a burial or cremation. But it is not unusual for funerals to be at least 3 weeks from the date of passing around here at the moment.
Feb 5th 2018, 12:49 am
#35
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: East Seaxe
Posts: 72,487
Re: Lost my Dad yesterday - Tell me about bereavement flights.
I wish I did still have my Mum! She's spent so long making up lies and believing the ones my sister has made up, that our conversation was like two strangers yesterday.
It's like I am supposed to forget the whole world and concentrate on them. In the past 18 months, my FiL fell out of bed and broke his hip and my MiL has dementia, my wife's been in the hospital and my best friend is on eight weeks bed rest following spinal surgery, so yes, I've been a little selfish and not given them 100%!
It's like I am supposed to forget the whole world and concentrate on them. In the past 18 months, my FiL fell out of bed and broke his hip and my MiL has dementia, my wife's been in the hospital and my best friend is on eight weeks bed rest following spinal surgery, so yes, I've been a little selfish and not given them 100%!
My sympathies on all fronts.
Feb 5th 2018, 1:04 am
#36
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Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 32
Re: Lost my Dad yesterday - Tell me about bereavement flights.
Sorry to hear your Dad died Guindalf. Mine died about this time last year.
I see you don't need a flight anymore but in case anyone is interested I got a mystery flight on Expedia at two days notice for around $650 flying economy. I wanted to see my Dad before he died and he only had days. Gave a price but I had no idea of airline or where connecting flight would be. It really wasn't too bad, ended up being a Delta flight.
Take care.
I see you don't need a flight anymore but in case anyone is interested I got a mystery flight on Expedia at two days notice for around $650 flying economy. I wanted to see my Dad before he died and he only had days. Gave a price but I had no idea of airline or where connecting flight would be. It really wasn't too bad, ended up being a Delta flight.
Take care.
Feb 5th 2018, 5:56 am
#37
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Re: Lost my Dad yesterday - Tell me about bereavement flights.
Sadly, I don't even know when the funeral is/was! No-one has made any kind of contact with me since my conversation with my Mum last week, which did not go well.
I did see a vague post from my sister on Thursday, which seemed to suggest it was a 'very tough day', so it could be that Dad was buried then, but that's as close as I can get.
What was upsetting was seeing that my niece had unfriended both me and my wife. We had done nothing to warrant this, so can only assume that her mother poisoned her thoughts about us. So sad when you lose one relative, but it feels like you've lost a whole family. I have to admit I felt that way before this happened, but when it becomes real, it's not something you can be prepared for!
I did see a vague post from my sister on Thursday, which seemed to suggest it was a 'very tough day', so it could be that Dad was buried then, but that's as close as I can get.
What was upsetting was seeing that my niece had unfriended both me and my wife. We had done nothing to warrant this, so can only assume that her mother poisoned her thoughts about us. So sad when you lose one relative, but it feels like you've lost a whole family. I have to admit I felt that way before this happened, but when it becomes real, it's not something you can be prepared for!
Feb 5th 2018, 12:40 pm
#38
Joined: Dec 2001
Location: Dixie, ex UK
Posts: 52,439
Re: Lost my Dad yesterday - Tell me about bereavement flights.
Yeah, it's really tough and, just when you think they can't do any more to you, I find that my niece has unfriended me! Sounds like nothing to get upset about, but she was great and stayed out of the argument until now. It was like a punch in the gut when I found out.
When I spoke to Mum today, for the first time since Dad passed, you'd have thought I was talking to a robot or someone else detached from the situation. When I told her I wasn't planning on coming over, her reaction was 'I didn't expect you to' - says it all right there!
I've spent my entire life thinking of others. I've tried to keep the peace and build bridges, but my poisonous sister has decided I'm selfish and don't care about anyone else but myself. I had decided just a few months ago that this was what they wanted, so I wouldn't worry about it and go ahead and live my life. Sadly, it means that not only have I lost my Dad, but any chance of regrouping my family.
Sorry for pouring out. It hurts. I've been like a zombie all day. My wife doesn't know what to do to console me. I was working today and will again tomorrow. I get three days paid bereavement leave, so I'll take the rest of the week off and maybe we'll go to Memphis or drive up to Canton and Cleveland for a few days and forget about it for a while.
When I spoke to Mum today, for the first time since Dad passed, you'd have thought I was talking to a robot or someone else detached from the situation. When I told her I wasn't planning on coming over, her reaction was 'I didn't expect you to' - says it all right there!
I've spent my entire life thinking of others. I've tried to keep the peace and build bridges, but my poisonous sister has decided I'm selfish and don't care about anyone else but myself. I had decided just a few months ago that this was what they wanted, so I wouldn't worry about it and go ahead and live my life. Sadly, it means that not only have I lost my Dad, but any chance of regrouping my family.
Sorry for pouring out. It hurts. I've been like a zombie all day. My wife doesn't know what to do to console me. I was working today and will again tomorrow. I get three days paid bereavement leave, so I'll take the rest of the week off and maybe we'll go to Memphis or drive up to Canton and Cleveland for a few days and forget about it for a while.
Sadly, I don't even know when the funeral is/was! No-one has made any kind of contact with me since my conversation with my Mum last week, which did not go well.
I did see a vague post from my sister on Thursday, which seemed to suggest it was a 'very tough day', so it could be that Dad was buried then, but that's as close as I can get.
What was upsetting was seeing that my niece had unfriended both me and my wife. We had done nothing to warrant this, so can only assume that her mother poisoned her thoughts about us. So sad when you lose one relative, but it feels like you've lost a whole family. I have to admit I felt that way before this happened, but when it becomes real, it's not something you can be prepared for!
I did see a vague post from my sister on Thursday, which seemed to suggest it was a 'very tough day', so it could be that Dad was buried then, but that's as close as I can get.
What was upsetting was seeing that my niece had unfriended both me and my wife. We had done nothing to warrant this, so can only assume that her mother poisoned her thoughts about us. So sad when you lose one relative, but it feels like you've lost a whole family. I have to admit I felt that way before this happened, but when it becomes real, it's not something you can be prepared for!
Sorry to hear that Guindalf. Sometimes family can be the meanest people. 
Last edited by Pulaski; Feb 5th 2018 at 12:44 pm.
Feb 6th 2018, 6:20 am
#39
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Re: Lost my Dad yesterday - Tell me about bereavement flights.
A big thank you to everyone who has commented. Sometimes it helps just to type it out - and repeat myself, etc.
The final kick in the gut is, there doesn't seem to be any obit anywhere which, of course, my company requires in order to get the three days paid bereavement leave. It doesn't look like the death certificate, which I think I've managed to order a copy of, will work as evidence, so I'm even going to be out of pocket for that!
I'm finally getting over the whole shock of it all and getting back to my old self. All I can do is dust myself off and start over again. I don't know if there's a will and frankly, I con't care. Sure, a windfall would be nice, but the grief that goes with it is certainly not worth it!
I guess I'm finally free of UK ties.
The final kick in the gut is, there doesn't seem to be any obit anywhere which, of course, my company requires in order to get the three days paid bereavement leave. It doesn't look like the death certificate, which I think I've managed to order a copy of, will work as evidence, so I'm even going to be out of pocket for that!
I'm finally getting over the whole shock of it all and getting back to my old self. All I can do is dust myself off and start over again. I don't know if there's a will and frankly, I con't care. Sure, a windfall would be nice, but the grief that goes with it is certainly not worth it!
I guess I'm finally free of UK ties.
Feb 6th 2018, 12:06 pm
#40
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: East Seaxe
Posts: 72,487
Re: Lost my Dad yesterday - Tell me about bereavement flights.
A big thank you to everyone who has commented. Sometimes it helps just to type it out - and repeat myself, etc.
The final kick in the gut is, there doesn't seem to be any obit anywhere which, of course, my company requires in order to get the three days paid bereavement leave. It doesn't look like the death certificate, which I think I've managed to order a copy of, will work as evidence, so I'm even going to be out of pocket for that!
I'm finally getting over the whole shock of it all and getting back to my old self. All I can do is dust myself off and start over again. I don't know if there's a will and frankly, I con't care. Sure, a windfall would be nice, but the grief that goes with it is certainly not worth it!
I guess I'm finally free of UK ties.
The final kick in the gut is, there doesn't seem to be any obit anywhere which, of course, my company requires in order to get the three days paid bereavement leave. It doesn't look like the death certificate, which I think I've managed to order a copy of, will work as evidence, so I'm even going to be out of pocket for that!
I'm finally getting over the whole shock of it all and getting back to my old self. All I can do is dust myself off and start over again. I don't know if there's a will and frankly, I con't care. Sure, a windfall would be nice, but the grief that goes with it is certainly not worth it!
I guess I'm finally free of UK ties.
We have to make our own peace with the past, it's the only way. It will get better. Good luck.
Feb 6th 2018, 5:47 pm
#41
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Re: Lost my Dad yesterday - Tell me about bereavement flights.
Guindalf - wishing you peace on your journey moving forward.
Feb 7th 2018, 1:27 pm
#42
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Re: Lost my Dad yesterday - Tell me about bereavement flights.
I work for a very large, work from home company. We are a vendor for a well-known, 'fruity' computer company and have hundreds, if not thousands of employees all over the world. This means that policies are in place and are generally incredibly strict.
If you heard some of the excuses the advisers in my care come up with, you'd understand the policy! I've had everything from (and including) 'I have a headache/migraine' to 'my nephew was murdered yesterday'!
If you heard some of the excuses the advisers in my care come up with, you'd understand the policy! I've had everything from (and including) 'I have a headache/migraine' to 'my nephew was murdered yesterday'!
Feb 8th 2018, 9:28 pm
#43
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Re: Lost my Dad yesterday - Tell me about bereavement flights.
Sorry for your loss. Can totally get the family meanness. Hurts like Billy O but I have to put it in perspective. I was given advice a long time ago, you are NOT responsible for the actions of others.
Feb 15th 2018, 2:48 pm
#44
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Location: Los Angeles
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Re: Lost my Dad yesterday - Tell me about bereavement flights.
