Losing a Parent
Mar 12th 2006, 12:44 am
#31
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Re: Losing a Parent
Originally Posted by woodsey
I lost my grandad almost a year ago, not a parent but having lived with my grandparents until I was 4 and having been so very close, I always felt I had 2 dads.
I didn't get back in time to see him one last time, which makes me so sad but he knew I was on my way..
Personally in some respect I think it makes it easier being away from home, sometimes for a split I forget and do things that I'd love to tell him but then I remember..
If I was there and going to the house twice a week like I used to, I'd be faced with a constant reminder of the huge gap he's left behind, not sure how I'd cope with that.
I consider myself lucky that at 34 I've only lost one Grandparent although since my grandad died my grandma just isn't interested anymore in anything..she's just biding her time, I think she's hoping for it to be sooner rather than later, that's going to be a strange one when it happens because in some respect I know she can't wait to go and be with him again so maybe its not going to be so sad. Can you die from a broken heart? Because I think that's what it will be.
My other grandparents are also ill now, my grandad has been on dialysis for some time and is now very very frail but he's 87 so hasn't done bad, my only concern there is that if he goes soon, my grandma has early stage Alzheimers and I'm concerned that she won't be able to cope on her own, at 80, she looks no older than most 60 year olds and is very fit and healthy, she was still so active and independant, what an horrendous thing to happen to anyone, my mum says she getting worse daily, forgets things she did 5 minutes ago.
My parents are still in their very early 50's so I can't even comprehend how that be would be if anything happened, thinking about it, which I never really have before (because they're such young parents, I'm assuming I'll actually die before them, LOL) maybe I'd even have to consider not staying here, I just don't know, its an awful thought.
I didn't get back in time to see him one last time, which makes me so sad but he knew I was on my way..
Personally in some respect I think it makes it easier being away from home, sometimes for a split I forget and do things that I'd love to tell him but then I remember..
If I was there and going to the house twice a week like I used to, I'd be faced with a constant reminder of the huge gap he's left behind, not sure how I'd cope with that.I consider myself lucky that at 34 I've only lost one Grandparent although since my grandad died my grandma just isn't interested anymore in anything..she's just biding her time, I think she's hoping for it to be sooner rather than later, that's going to be a strange one when it happens because in some respect I know she can't wait to go and be with him again so maybe its not going to be so sad. Can you die from a broken heart? Because I think that's what it will be.
My other grandparents are also ill now, my grandad has been on dialysis for some time and is now very very frail but he's 87 so hasn't done bad, my only concern there is that if he goes soon, my grandma has early stage Alzheimers and I'm concerned that she won't be able to cope on her own, at 80, she looks no older than most 60 year olds and is very fit and healthy, she was still so active and independant, what an horrendous thing to happen to anyone, my mum says she getting worse daily, forgets things she did 5 minutes ago.
My parents are still in their very early 50's so I can't even comprehend how that be would be if anything happened, thinking about it, which I never really have before (because they're such young parents, I'm assuming I'll actually die before them, LOL) maybe I'd even have to consider not staying here, I just don't know, its an awful thought.
Funny how we never think our parents will die. But they will for sure. Usually before us.
Its something we try not to think about and to lose them suddenly or after a long illness is hard no matter what.
Mar 12th 2006, 12:47 am
#32
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Re: Losing a Parent
Originally Posted by Noorah101
I'm so sorry for your loss, I know it's hard without your loved one there to share with.
I lost my first husband to cancer in 1987 (when I was only 27 and he was only 29). That taught me a lot about life and death, and an appreciation for each.
I lost my mother to a cancer we didn't even know she had, in May 2004. She was 81. My sister and I were there in the hospital with her, holding her hand, and made the decision to shut off the ventilator that was keeping her alive. It was a painful day.
I lost my dad to natural causes in January this year. He was 88. True to form, he kept us laughing even 5 hours before he died. Unfortunately, we thought he had a few more days, so my sister and I went home for a few hours to catch some sleep, and he slipped away from us while we were gone from his side. My thinking is perhaps he preferred it that way, so as to spare us watching him go. I was very close to my dad, and it's been very hard without him around.
My heart goes out to you.
Rene
I lost my first husband to cancer in 1987 (when I was only 27 and he was only 29). That taught me a lot about life and death, and an appreciation for each.
I lost my mother to a cancer we didn't even know she had, in May 2004. She was 81. My sister and I were there in the hospital with her, holding her hand, and made the decision to shut off the ventilator that was keeping her alive. It was a painful day.
I lost my dad to natural causes in January this year. He was 88. True to form, he kept us laughing even 5 hours before he died. Unfortunately, we thought he had a few more days, so my sister and I went home for a few hours to catch some sleep, and he slipped away from us while we were gone from his side. My thinking is perhaps he preferred it that way, so as to spare us watching him go. I was very close to my dad, and it's been very hard without him around.
My heart goes out to you.
Rene
Sorry for your loss.
When it comes to my Mum's time i dont know how i will get through that .
With Dad we had each other. Once she goes , who will i have .
We are like Best Friends , very close. As was Dad and i.
I miss not hearing his voice each week. Always asking how i was ,and he was the one with Mesothelioma.Bless his heart.
Mar 12th 2006, 12:52 am
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Re: Losing a Parent
Originally Posted by ladyofthelake
I lost my dad to pneumonia in Feb 2004, he was 82 and had had a good life.
I lost my mum to cancer in Dec 2004, she was 72. I miss them both terribly and think about them everyday.
On Wednesday I was doing some tidying up and I found a postcard my mum had sent me in oct 2002. It said on the front "I miss you" and on the other side she said why she loved me, why she was proud of me, how she was so pleased with what I'd done with my life, and how thankful she was for her grandchildren. Boy, did I cry when I read that... making me well up now thinking about it.
I'll treasure it forever.
I lost my mum to cancer in Dec 2004, she was 72. I miss them both terribly and think about them everyday.
On Wednesday I was doing some tidying up and I found a postcard my mum had sent me in oct 2002. It said on the front "I miss you" and on the other side she said why she loved me, why she was proud of me, how she was so pleased with what I'd done with my life, and how thankful she was for her grandchildren. Boy, did I cry when I read that... making me well up now thinking about it.
I'll treasure it forever.
Thats so sweet. even though it was hard for you to read.
I have a letter that Dad wrote before he died , to be opened on his Death.
Boy , was that hard to see through all the tears. And even now if i take it out of the drawer. I just have to read the first few words,
"I can not leave this world without telling you how very much i love you ".
Thats it, im in tears again just typing it ... Silly me.
Mar 12th 2006, 12:52 am
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Re: Losing a Parent
Like EnglishMum, I lost my Dad when we in Singapore. That 14 hour flight home, knowing whats there to meet you at the end, was not pleasant...
I'd just taken my girlfriend (now wife) home for Christmas to meet the family for the first time. Dad was recovering from a triple bypass, and doing really well. He was walking 5+ miles a day, and looked younger and fitter than he had for ages. We had a great Christmas, and he got on really well with the other half. Shame that that was the only time they met, as 2 months later he keeled over in town and that was that. He was 65.
I have very very few regrets in life (reckon I've had a pretty good time so far!) but the ones I do have revolve around him not being around for our wedding, and worse, him not seeing his youngest grandkids. I saw what a great time he had with my sisters kids, who are all grown up now, and I know he would have loved to have more young ones to play with.
I'd just taken my girlfriend (now wife) home for Christmas to meet the family for the first time. Dad was recovering from a triple bypass, and doing really well. He was walking 5+ miles a day, and looked younger and fitter than he had for ages. We had a great Christmas, and he got on really well with the other half. Shame that that was the only time they met, as 2 months later he keeled over in town and that was that. He was 65.
I have very very few regrets in life (reckon I've had a pretty good time so far!) but the ones I do have revolve around him not being around for our wedding, and worse, him not seeing his youngest grandkids. I saw what a great time he had with my sisters kids, who are all grown up now, and I know he would have loved to have more young ones to play with.
Mar 12th 2006, 12:55 am
#35
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Re: Losing a Parent
Originally Posted by joto
My Dad died just over 8 years ago. It was in mid December and we had planned to go over for Christmas anyway. It was very sudden. He was 81 but in good health as far as we knew. He would not have wanted to hang on a long time with an illness. The funeral was on Christmas Eve. Worst Christmas I've ever spent. MIL went the next November. Hubby was in Sweden on a business trip and I had to call him and tell him. I tried to break it to him gently and he thought I was talking about my mother, so I had to be a bit more direct. The company was good and rearranged his flights so that he could go to the UK and then back here. I'm always expecting the next call as my mum is in her eighties but in reasonably good health, but you never know.
I know how hard that is as Dad died in early hours of Dec 20th. The funeral was on Christmas Eve.
I think we were on auto pilot.
That was the first one without him ,but the grief was so numbing at times its hard to focus on much.
Mar 12th 2006, 12:56 am
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Re: Losing a Parent
Originally Posted by Pulaski
I'm sorry for your loss unicorn. .... As it happens my father died just three short weeks ago. I was lucky enough to have spoken with him just two days earlier, on his birthday - he was 77. My parents had also visited us last October/ November.
It is unfortunate and frustrating that he never appreciated the seriousness of the heart condition he had. A routine valve replacement would have cured the problem, and he was healthy enought, I'm certain, to have lived another ten years. He hated going to the doctor, and always had. Depsite his heart condition he hadn't seen his GP for more than six months when he died. I spoke to him a year or so back, trying to persuade him to get proper treatment, but he'd have none of it, and assured me that he'd take more rest. He didn't understand, or didn't want to beleive that taking it easy doesn't help a faulty valve.
The condition is also commonly associated with rheumatic fever in childhood, and he had had rheumatic fever as a teenager. It is scary that a disease can be cured, but leave you with a conditon that kills you more than fifty years later!
It is unfortunate and frustrating that he never appreciated the seriousness of the heart condition he had. A routine valve replacement would have cured the problem, and he was healthy enought, I'm certain, to have lived another ten years. He hated going to the doctor, and always had. Depsite his heart condition he hadn't seen his GP for more than six months when he died. I spoke to him a year or so back, trying to persuade him to get proper treatment, but he'd have none of it, and assured me that he'd take more rest. He didn't understand, or didn't want to beleive that taking it easy doesn't help a faulty valve.
The condition is also commonly associated with rheumatic fever in childhood, and he had had rheumatic fever as a teenager. It is scary that a disease can be cured, but leave you with a conditon that kills you more than fifty years later!
Your loss is so fresh.
Im so sorry.My heart goes out to everyone on here.Looks like we are all in the same boat more or less.
Cancer is the most horrible thing and its so mad that they still havent found a cure.
Mar 12th 2006, 12:58 am
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Re: Losing a Parent
Originally Posted by Angry White Pyjamas
You have my complete empathy.
I lost my mum at age 66 six years ago due to lung cancer caused by second hand smoke inhalation via her work...she was a care assistant at an old persons home and the place was worse than a working mens club for smoking.
She fought to the end and was braver than I ever could hope to be.
I lost my mum at age 66 six years ago due to lung cancer caused by second hand smoke inhalation via her work...she was a care assistant at an old persons home and the place was worse than a working mens club for smoking.
She fought to the end and was braver than I ever could hope to be.
Its amazing how brave they are . My Dad was the same. We called him a Samurai.
I really dont know if i could be like that.
Mar 12th 2006, 1:04 am
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Re: Losing a Parent
Originally Posted by Yorkieabroad
Like EnglishMum, I lost my Dad when we in Singapore. That 14 hour flight home, knowing whats there to meet you at the end, was not pleasant...
I'd just taken my girlfriend (now wife) home for Christmas to meet the family for the first time. Dad was recovering from a triple bypass, and doing really well. He was walking 5+ miles a day, and looked younger and fitter than he had for ages. We had a great Christmas, and he got on really well with the other half. Shame that that was the only time they met, as 2 months later he keeled over in town and that was that. He was 65.
I have very very few regrets in life (reckon I've had a pretty good time so far!) but the ones I do have revolve around him not being around for our wedding, and worse, him not seeing his youngest grandkids. I saw what a great time he had with my sisters kids, who are all grown up now, and I know he would have loved to have more young ones to play with.
I'd just taken my girlfriend (now wife) home for Christmas to meet the family for the first time. Dad was recovering from a triple bypass, and doing really well. He was walking 5+ miles a day, and looked younger and fitter than he had for ages. We had a great Christmas, and he got on really well with the other half. Shame that that was the only time they met, as 2 months later he keeled over in town and that was that. He was 65.
I have very very few regrets in life (reckon I've had a pretty good time so far!) but the ones I do have revolve around him not being around for our wedding, and worse, him not seeing his youngest grandkids. I saw what a great time he had with my sisters kids, who are all grown up now, and I know he would have loved to have more young ones to play with.
Dad came to my Wedding.
We have lovely Pic's and we did the Father /Daughter dance to "The Wind Beneath My Wings ".Not something we did at my first wedding in England.
So nice US custom.
I also have a Figure that is an Angel that he sent me for my 40th Birthday in Aug 2004. It has my "Daughter my Joy" inscribed on it and plays, The wind beneath my wings.
That song has me in tears.
And Luther Vandross , Dance with my Father .As this was one of the songs we played at his funeral.
I wear at heart locket that has some of his ashes in. So does Mum.
And on the back it says ,Love you always.
Mum has the rest of his ashes at home with her.
I feel a part of him is with me always then.
Mar 12th 2006, 2:14 pm
#39
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Re: Losing a Parent
unicorndream
I'm very sorry for your loss and I don't know if we are ever prepared when a parent dies. No matter the age of a child its gut wrenching to lose a loving nurturing parent. For me 2005 was horrible because I lost my father in october 2005,as bad as that was it became so much worse when we lost my mother in december 2005. You know you hear people make mention about a pain that they describe as leaving them numb but its not until you go through it before you understand that feeling.
Losing my mother is devastating on so many levels. For me and my siblings its so much worse because the word mother does not come close to how amazing my mum was. Truthfully speaking about my mother in the past tense and knowing that she is gone makes me feel sorrow. 3 months on all though better the emotions are still very raw.
She was a young woman who grew up in the Jim Crow south went to college and became a Registered nurse . She later got married and had children and possess the type of values which I respect greatly. Like many people she later raised her children on her own after her marriage ended.To those who have loss family all I can say with time the lost does get better.
Funny thing is you find your self thinking about them at the strangest times. With me its usually when I happen to channel surf and see one of her favorite programs , maybe hear a great tune she like or when I catch my self or a sibling saying something so similar to a comment like my mother. I guess we are living monuments to our parents.
Luckly we were very blessed to have had my mother until she was 79. I think I was especially blessed because I took care of her about the last 8 years of her life.Sometimes I think in those 8 years she cared for me like she had in all the years prior.I say to all those who have parents living love them like there is no tomorrow. When I buried my mother I knew there was a big part of my self that went into the ground.
One day at a time. God Bless!
I'm very sorry for your loss and I don't know if we are ever prepared when a parent dies. No matter the age of a child its gut wrenching to lose a loving nurturing parent. For me 2005 was horrible because I lost my father in october 2005,as bad as that was it became so much worse when we lost my mother in december 2005. You know you hear people make mention about a pain that they describe as leaving them numb but its not until you go through it before you understand that feeling.
Losing my mother is devastating on so many levels. For me and my siblings its so much worse because the word mother does not come close to how amazing my mum was. Truthfully speaking about my mother in the past tense and knowing that she is gone makes me feel sorrow. 3 months on all though better the emotions are still very raw.
She was a young woman who grew up in the Jim Crow south went to college and became a Registered nurse . She later got married and had children and possess the type of values which I respect greatly. Like many people she later raised her children on her own after her marriage ended.To those who have loss family all I can say with time the lost does get better.
Funny thing is you find your self thinking about them at the strangest times. With me its usually when I happen to channel surf and see one of her favorite programs , maybe hear a great tune she like or when I catch my self or a sibling saying something so similar to a comment like my mother. I guess we are living monuments to our parents.
Luckly we were very blessed to have had my mother until she was 79. I think I was especially blessed because I took care of her about the last 8 years of her life.Sometimes I think in those 8 years she cared for me like she had in all the years prior.I say to all those who have parents living love them like there is no tomorrow. When I buried my mother I knew there was a big part of my self that went into the ground.
One day at a time. God Bless!
Hi,
How many of you out there have experienced this or have it as your major fear?
Its been just over 14 months since my Dad died.
It was dec 2004 and i managed to get home the day before to be with them.
He was at home and Mum and i were holding his hands as he took his last breath.
He had Mesothelioma ( Rare form of Lung Cancer due to Asbestos )
He was only 66 yrs old.It can take 30 - 40 years for this terrible disease to show up.
Originally Doc's gave him a couple of months. He had some Radiation and some of the disease removed. It bought him some more time.But its a fatal cancer.
They said maybe 7 months plus or less. This was in Dec 2002.
But Dad was a fighter and so very brave. He showed them and defied their odds.Lasted for 2 years and 2 months from first being diagnosed.
I dont want to go on and on and bore you all silly.
Its just another thing we may cope with while being here.
And if any of you are going through this right now. My heart goes out to you.
No matter how old we are its so very hard to lose a parent.
Im thankful he saw me married etc.
A special man , that i miss so very much each and every day.
How many of you out there have experienced this or have it as your major fear?
Its been just over 14 months since my Dad died.
It was dec 2004 and i managed to get home the day before to be with them.
He was at home and Mum and i were holding his hands as he took his last breath.
He had Mesothelioma ( Rare form of Lung Cancer due to Asbestos )
He was only 66 yrs old.It can take 30 - 40 years for this terrible disease to show up.
Originally Doc's gave him a couple of months. He had some Radiation and some of the disease removed. It bought him some more time.But its a fatal cancer.
They said maybe 7 months plus or less. This was in Dec 2002.
But Dad was a fighter and so very brave. He showed them and defied their odds.Lasted for 2 years and 2 months from first being diagnosed.
I dont want to go on and on and bore you all silly.
Its just another thing we may cope with while being here.
And if any of you are going through this right now. My heart goes out to you.
No matter how old we are its so very hard to lose a parent.
Im thankful he saw me married etc.
A special man , that i miss so very much each and every day.
Mar 12th 2006, 4:06 pm
#40
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Re: Losing a Parent
Originally Posted by YankeemovingAbroad
unicorndream
I'm very sorry for your loss and I don't know if we are ever prepared when a parent dies. No matter the age of a child its gut wrenching to lose a loving nurturing parent. For me 2005 was horrible because I lost my father in october 2005,as bad as that was it became so much worse when we lost my mother in december 2005. You know you hear people make mention about a pain that they describe as leaving them numb but its not until you go through it before you understand that feeling.
Losing my mother is devastating on so many levels. For me and my siblings its so much worse because the word mother does not come close to how amazing my mum was. Truthfully speaking about my mother in the past tense and knowing that she is gone makes me feel sorrow. 3 months on all though better the emotions are still very raw.
She was a young woman who grew up in the Jim Crow south went to college and became a Registered nurse . She later got married and had children and possess the type of values which I respect greatly. Like many people she later raised her children on her own after her marriage ended.To those who have loss family all I can say with time the lost does get better.
Funny thing is you find your self thinking about them at the strangest times. With me its usually when I happen to channel surf and see one of her favorite programs , maybe hear a great tune she like or when I catch my self or a sibling saying something so similar to a comment like my mother. I guess we are living monuments to our parents.
Luckly we were very blessed to have had my mother until she was 79. I think I was especially blessed because I took care of her about the last 8 years of her life.Sometimes I think in those 8 years she cared for me like she had in all the years prior.I say to all those who have parents living love them like there is no tomorrow. When I buried my mother I knew there was a big part of my self that went into the ground.
One day at a time. God Bless!
I'm very sorry for your loss and I don't know if we are ever prepared when a parent dies. No matter the age of a child its gut wrenching to lose a loving nurturing parent. For me 2005 was horrible because I lost my father in october 2005,as bad as that was it became so much worse when we lost my mother in december 2005. You know you hear people make mention about a pain that they describe as leaving them numb but its not until you go through it before you understand that feeling.
Losing my mother is devastating on so many levels. For me and my siblings its so much worse because the word mother does not come close to how amazing my mum was. Truthfully speaking about my mother in the past tense and knowing that she is gone makes me feel sorrow. 3 months on all though better the emotions are still very raw.
She was a young woman who grew up in the Jim Crow south went to college and became a Registered nurse . She later got married and had children and possess the type of values which I respect greatly. Like many people she later raised her children on her own after her marriage ended.To those who have loss family all I can say with time the lost does get better.
Funny thing is you find your self thinking about them at the strangest times. With me its usually when I happen to channel surf and see one of her favorite programs , maybe hear a great tune she like or when I catch my self or a sibling saying something so similar to a comment like my mother. I guess we are living monuments to our parents.
Luckly we were very blessed to have had my mother until she was 79. I think I was especially blessed because I took care of her about the last 8 years of her life.Sometimes I think in those 8 years she cared for me like she had in all the years prior.I say to all those who have parents living love them like there is no tomorrow. When I buried my mother I knew there was a big part of my self that went into the ground.
One day at a time. God Bless!
Thats alot to go through in such a short space of time.
And nothing anyone says can make it better.
But my heart goes out to you and your siblings.
Thats right , no one can truly know how it feels until they have actually experienced that loss.
My husband has both parents and they are mid 70's. Both have some health problems.But we only live 10 mins away ,so least we can check in on them and spend time together.
Mar 12th 2006, 4:12 pm
#41
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Re: Losing a Parent
My mum died last year (on Thanksgiving day) she became seriously ill very suddenly and died after spending 4 days in ICU. She had a very rare infection, Necrotizing Fasciitis (aka the flesh eating bacteria) and died at age 52. When she died I was 27 and 5 month pregnant, I didn't get home before she died but made it home (with the help of North West Airlines) a couple of days later... it was not much fun trying to get flights on a holiday!
I would not wish what I went through on anyone it is probably the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with... and I agree with who ever said that time does not heal... 4 months on I still lie awake at nights crying... wondering what if? but I take solace in that my mother was a big believer in that when it is your time it is your time regardless and I know that she is in a better place.
I thank God that she was able to see me married and see my daughter (her very first grand child) she was also over moon to know that I am making her grand mother again... those and the happy memories are the ones I focus on.
Ash
I would not wish what I went through on anyone it is probably the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with... and I agree with who ever said that time does not heal... 4 months on I still lie awake at nights crying... wondering what if? but I take solace in that my mother was a big believer in that when it is your time it is your time regardless and I know that she is in a better place.
I thank God that she was able to see me married and see my daughter (her very first grand child) she was also over moon to know that I am making her grand mother again... those and the happy memories are the ones I focus on.
Ash
Mar 12th 2006, 4:21 pm
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Re: Losing a Parent
Originally Posted by Pulaski
I'm sorry for your loss unicorn. .... As it happens my father died just three short weeks ago. I was lucky enough to have spoken with him just two days earlier, on his birthday - he was 77. My parents had also visited us last October/ November.
Ash
Mar 12th 2006, 7:25 pm
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Re: Losing a Parent
Originally Posted by unicorndreams
I wear at heart locket that has some of his ashes in. So does Mum.
And on the back it says ,Love you always.
Mum has the rest of his ashes at home with her.
I feel a part of him is with me always then.
And on the back it says ,Love you always.
Mum has the rest of his ashes at home with her.
I feel a part of him is with me always then.
Mar 12th 2006, 8:12 pm
#44
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Re: Losing a Parent
Originally Posted by YankeemovingAbroad
unicorndream
I'm very sorry for your loss and I don't know if we are ever prepared when a parent dies. No matter the age of a child its gut wrenching to lose a loving nurturing parent. For me 2005 was horrible because I lost my father in october 2005,as bad as that was it became so much worse when we lost my mother in december 2005. You know you hear people make mention about a pain that they describe as leaving them numb but its not until you go through it before you understand that feeling.
Losing my mother is devastating on so many levels. For me and my siblings its so much worse because the word mother does not come close to how amazing my mum was. Truthfully speaking about my mother in the past tense and knowing that she is gone makes me feel sorrow. 3 months on all though better the emotions are still very raw.
She was a young woman who grew up in the Jim Crow south went to college and became a Registered nurse . She later got married and had children and possess the type of values which I respect greatly. Like many people she later raised her children on her own after her marriage ended.To those who have loss family all I can say with time the lost does get better.
Funny thing is you find your self thinking about them at the strangest times. With me its usually when I happen to channel surf and see one of her favorite programs , maybe hear a great tune she like or when I catch my self or a sibling saying something so similar to a comment like my mother. I guess we are living monuments to our parents.
Luckly we were very blessed to have had my mother until she was 79. I think I was especially blessed because I took care of her about the last 8 years of her life.Sometimes I think in those 8 years she cared for me like she had in all the years prior.I say to all those who have parents living love them like there is no tomorrow. When I buried my mother I knew there was a big part of my self that went into the ground.
One day at a time. God Bless!
I'm very sorry for your loss and I don't know if we are ever prepared when a parent dies. No matter the age of a child its gut wrenching to lose a loving nurturing parent. For me 2005 was horrible because I lost my father in october 2005,as bad as that was it became so much worse when we lost my mother in december 2005. You know you hear people make mention about a pain that they describe as leaving them numb but its not until you go through it before you understand that feeling.
Losing my mother is devastating on so many levels. For me and my siblings its so much worse because the word mother does not come close to how amazing my mum was. Truthfully speaking about my mother in the past tense and knowing that she is gone makes me feel sorrow. 3 months on all though better the emotions are still very raw.
She was a young woman who grew up in the Jim Crow south went to college and became a Registered nurse . She later got married and had children and possess the type of values which I respect greatly. Like many people she later raised her children on her own after her marriage ended.To those who have loss family all I can say with time the lost does get better.
Funny thing is you find your self thinking about them at the strangest times. With me its usually when I happen to channel surf and see one of her favorite programs , maybe hear a great tune she like or when I catch my self or a sibling saying something so similar to a comment like my mother. I guess we are living monuments to our parents.
Luckly we were very blessed to have had my mother until she was 79. I think I was especially blessed because I took care of her about the last 8 years of her life.Sometimes I think in those 8 years she cared for me like she had in all the years prior.I say to all those who have parents living love them like there is no tomorrow. When I buried my mother I knew there was a big part of my self that went into the ground.
One day at a time. God Bless!
Mar 13th 2006, 12:13 am
#45
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Joined: Mar 2006
Location: Orlando,Florida,living in Buckinghamshire for next 6 weeks.
Posts: 1,416
Re: Losing a Parent
lolly
I absolutely agree. A mum and especially a single mum is Santa Claus,doctor,nurse,baseball coach,soccer coach ect ect ect. They are amazing! Truly a best friend!
My Mum died 14 years ago, she would always tell us "you only have one best friend and thats your Mum" her Mum had died when she was in her 20's. We would always laugh when she said this to us. But boy was she right.[/QUOTE]
I absolutely agree. A mum and especially a single mum is Santa Claus,doctor,nurse,baseball coach,soccer coach ect ect ect. They are amazing! Truly a best friend!
My Mum died 14 years ago, she would always tell us "you only have one best friend and thats your Mum" her Mum had died when she was in her 20's. We would always laugh when she said this to us. But boy was she right.[/QUOTE]