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Looking for realistic advice from people with experience….

Looking for realistic advice from people with experience….

Old Aug 16th 2011, 1:15 pm
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Post Looking for realistic advice from people with experience….

Hi, thanks for opening my thread.

I know people must read many of similar posts to this on a regular basis but I just wanted peoples honest opinions/suggestions regarding my situation….

I met my girlfriend 3 years ago when she moved to the UK on a student visa to complete her Degree. We have dated for 3 years and after graduating this summer she has had to return to the states as her visa expired. I have already been out there this summer to visit for a couple of weeks. During her summer whilst at Uni she would return home for 4 months and both years I travelled out and stayed with her, so we are a serious couple.

However, I am still in University and I am due to begin a year-long paid internship in England and she is searching for a job in USA. After my 1 year internship I then have 1 more year of university until I get my degree.

Do any of you have any suggestions as to what we should do? Is it feasible to aim to get a graduate job in USA after I earn my degree or what?

Thanks in advance,

Jack
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Old Aug 16th 2011, 1:54 pm
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Default Re: Looking for realistic advice from people with experience….

1. Get married. The question is when.
2. You do NOT have to live in the same country or continent as each other for every day of the week/week of the month/month of the year.
3. I reiterate point 2.

Best wishes
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Old Aug 16th 2011, 2:06 pm
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Default Re: Looking for realistic advice from people with experience….

Originally Posted by Ozzidoc View Post
1. Get married. The question is when.
2. You do NOT have to live in the same country or continent as each other for every day of the week/week of the month/month of the year.
3. I reiterate point 2.

Best wishes
I appreciate your response, and yes this does sound like the 'easiest' route and it is something that we have discussed. But at this moment in our lives we aren't sure it's the most sensible step.

Just out of interest, I read of someone on here going out to USA for 6months on a J-1 visa then having that extended to 12 and then 18months. Can anybody expand on what that actually is?
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Old Aug 16th 2011, 2:08 pm
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Default Re: Looking for realistic advice from people with experience….

Originally Posted by jeheardy8 View Post
Hi, thanks for opening my thread.

I know people must read many of similar posts to this on a regular basis but I just wanted peoples honest opinions/suggestions regarding my situation….

I met my girlfriend 3 years ago when she moved to the UK on a student visa to complete her Degree. We have dated for 3 years and after graduating this summer she has had to return to the states as her visa expired. I have already been out there this summer to visit for a couple of weeks. During her summer whilst at Uni she would return home for 4 months and both years I travelled out and stayed with her, so we are a serious couple.

However, I am still in University and I am due to begin a year-long paid internship in England and she is searching for a job in USA. After my 1 year internship I then have 1 more year of university until I get my degree.

Do any of you have any suggestions as to what we should do? Is it feasible to aim to get a graduate job in USA after I earn my degree or what?

Thanks in advance,

Jack

Yes, it is feasible, although getting a job would probably be easier if you and you girlfriend were married first. If you are married to a US citizen you can become a legal permanent resident, which comes with the right to work. Otherwise you would have to find an employer willing to go to the hassle and expense of sponsoring you for an employment visa (more difficult and highly dependent on your particular skills).

My circumstances are reasonably similar to yours and that is what I am doing. However, I am a few years older than you (26) and I know I certainly wasn't ready to get married to anyone four years ago when I finished my undergrad! Still, it's something to think about.

On the subject of distance, my fiancé and I have been living apart for two years now (we met when he was in the UK studying for his master's but he had to go back to the US at the end of his degree to start working off his commitment to the Navy) and will be apart for another two before we finally start living together (I have just finished my PhD and taken a two-year postdoc position in Germany). You'd be surprised how quickly you get used to dealing with the separation when you have a busy life (which it sounds like you do).
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Old Aug 16th 2011, 2:15 pm
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Default Re: Looking for realistic advice from people with experience….

It does seem that marriage would be the best option in an ideal world but I doubt that will happen right now - although my girlfriend did mention it. However, like yourself earning a Phd it appears that getting as qualified as possible will also make yourself more 'attractive' to employ in the states. Thanks for your reply.
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Old Aug 16th 2011, 2:24 pm
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Default Re: Looking for realistic advice from people with experience….

Originally Posted by jeheardy8 View Post
It does seem that marriage would be the best option in an ideal world but I doubt that will happen right now - although my girlfriend did mention it. However, like yourself earning a Phd it appears that getting as qualified as possible will also make yourself more 'attractive' to employ in the states. Thanks for your reply.
I'm actually hoping to stay in academia so I would need the PhD anywhere, but yes, having an extra qualification could be useful. Some visa categories actually stipulate possession of a higher degree.

You can read about the J visa category here: http://travel.state.gov/visa/temp/types/types_1267.html. I think the amount of time it is issued for depends on what activity it is for.
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Old Aug 16th 2011, 2:44 pm
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Default Re: Looking for realistic advice from people with experience….

Originally Posted by jeheardy8 View Post
It does seem that marriage would be the best option in an ideal world but I doubt that will happen right now - although my girlfriend did mention it. However, like yourself earning a Phd it appears that getting as qualified as possible will also make yourself more 'attractive' to employ in the states. Thanks for your reply.
I'm happy to read that you are not jumping on the bandwagon for marriage now. Yes, I realize that you both have spent three years together and are in love and all but to marry before you have completed your schooling and internship doesn't make sense if you are not planning on immigrating to the US within a year.

You can continue your relationship as you are now doing being honest whenever you enter the US. Once you have entered your last year of schooling you can then entertain the thought of marriage and after the ceremony have your spouse apply for your immigration visa.
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