Lonely

Old Jul 10th 2010, 7:45 am
  #1  
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 36
Ellie-May is a name known to allEllie-May is a name known to allEllie-May is a name known to allEllie-May is a name known to allEllie-May is a name known to allEllie-May is a name known to allEllie-May is a name known to allEllie-May is a name known to allEllie-May is a name known to allEllie-May is a name known to allEllie-May is a name known to all
Default Lonely

Hi I have been here for nearly 3 years and do not know anyone. I do not work and I am stuck at home all the time. I am finding it very difficult living here and I am feeling very isolated and lonely. I really wish I had someone to talk to. I find the Americans very different, everything is becoming a problem. I have been married for 2 years and not sure what I should do. I feel like going home if things don't change. I am unable to work as I have severe neck problems and I am in pain 24/7.
Ellie-May is offline  
Old Jul 10th 2010, 9:43 am
  #2  
Ping-ponger
 
dunroving's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2002
Location: Dreich Alba
Posts: 11,964
dunroving has a reputation beyond reputedunroving has a reputation beyond reputedunroving has a reputation beyond reputedunroving has a reputation beyond reputedunroving has a reputation beyond reputedunroving has a reputation beyond reputedunroving has a reputation beyond reputedunroving has a reputation beyond reputedunroving has a reputation beyond reputedunroving has a reputation beyond reputedunroving has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Lonely

Originally Posted by Ellie-May View Post
Hi I have been here for nearly 3 years and do not know anyone. I do not work and I am stuck at home all the time. I am finding it very difficult living here and I am feeling very isolated and lonely. I really wish I had someone to talk to. I find the Americans very different, everything is becoming a problem. I have been married for 2 years and not sure what I should do. I feel like going home if things don't change. I am unable to work as I have severe neck problems and I am in pain 24/7.
I remember times when the only thing that got me up in the morning was the fact I had to go to work - I can't imagine how difficult it must be to be stuck in the house all day. There have been several threads on here from spouses who moved and then couldn't work, I don't know if it would help you to look for them using the Advanced Search ...

The usual response is to suggest you volunteer or find meetup groups, but you may have tried that already. It really can be difficult when you are new to an area to make new friends, and many people do it initially through work.

What does your husband have to say about the situation? Is it possible to take a trip home to see family for a while?

Sorry I'm not being much help, but I hope things get better for you.
dunroving is offline  
Old Jul 10th 2010, 1:41 pm
  #3  
BE Forum Addict
 
lisa67's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: Toasty in Texas
Posts: 4,240
lisa67 has a reputation beyond reputelisa67 has a reputation beyond reputelisa67 has a reputation beyond reputelisa67 has a reputation beyond reputelisa67 has a reputation beyond reputelisa67 has a reputation beyond reputelisa67 has a reputation beyond reputelisa67 has a reputation beyond reputelisa67 has a reputation beyond reputelisa67 has a reputation beyond reputelisa67 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Lonely

Hi Ellie-May

So sorry to hear that you're going through a tough time. I Know when I moved here I thought that, seeing as we al spoke the same language, that the transition would be easy, but there are huge differences aren't there?
Maybe a trip home might help. I know that, as I couldn;t work when I first arrived that I had to make myself get out and about or I'd be in the house going crazy. I tried to get out every day, even if it was to the library, ir to window shop at the mall.
I used www.volunteermatch.org.
Are there any hobbies you like to do?
lisa67 is offline  
Old Jul 10th 2010, 3:19 pm
  #4  
BE Enthusiast
 
Ja5on's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 507
Ja5on is a glorious beacon of lightJa5on is a glorious beacon of lightJa5on is a glorious beacon of lightJa5on is a glorious beacon of lightJa5on is a glorious beacon of lightJa5on is a glorious beacon of lightJa5on is a glorious beacon of lightJa5on is a glorious beacon of lightJa5on is a glorious beacon of lightJa5on is a glorious beacon of lightJa5on is a glorious beacon of light
Default Re: Lonely

I'm not sure if it's your sort of thing but there's normally a lot of good people to meet at church.
Ja5on is offline  
Old Jul 10th 2010, 3:28 pm
  #5  
Concierge
 
Rete's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 44,353
Rete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Lonely

Are you on a visa that does not allow you to work, i.e. as the spouse of a H-1B holder?

I don't know where in the US you are living but there are a great many Brits living throughout the US. Check out the meetup forum here and see if there is a meetup in or around your area. At least you can go and meet other Brits and have a bit of a laugh and companionship.

Look into volunteering at perhaps your local hospital or animal shelter. Start taking walks in the early evening and smile and say hello to those you pass on the way. You would be amazed how after a few times of doing this people will start smiling back and saying hello in return. Expand the dialogue from there and at least you will be socializing on a small scale that will expand with time. If you have a hobby, join classes.

It is hard but the secret I've found is to extend yourself outside of your comfort level and start conversations rather than waiting for someone else to do so.
Rete is online now  
Old Jul 10th 2010, 8:00 pm
  #6  
L2, GC, Surrey, OH, TX!
 
MsElui's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2007
Location: Surrey to Dallas (via Ohio)!
Posts: 6,358
MsElui has a reputation beyond reputeMsElui has a reputation beyond reputeMsElui has a reputation beyond reputeMsElui has a reputation beyond reputeMsElui has a reputation beyond reputeMsElui has a reputation beyond reputeMsElui has a reputation beyond reputeMsElui has a reputation beyond reputeMsElui has a reputation beyond reputeMsElui has a reputation beyond reputeMsElui has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Lonely

agree with the above. Nothing will change whilst you are inside your own home. You need to get out somewhere or somehow so that you have contact with others and potential friendships can blossom. Now whether thats volunteering, doing a hobby class (like scrapbooking or sewing at the local craft store), visiting the library and reading the books there, mooching round a museum or gallery, walking in the park (have you a pet you can walk - people will always stop and stroke the dog), ow whatever you feel you can manage with your neck etc - it will put you in contact with other people and more importantly - give you a change of scenery.
MsElui is offline  
Old Jul 10th 2010, 8:09 pm
  #7  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 41,518
Sally Redux has a reputation beyond reputeSally Redux has a reputation beyond reputeSally Redux has a reputation beyond reputeSally Redux has a reputation beyond reputeSally Redux has a reputation beyond reputeSally Redux has a reputation beyond reputeSally Redux has a reputation beyond reputeSally Redux has a reputation beyond reputeSally Redux has a reputation beyond reputeSally Redux has a reputation beyond reputeSally Redux has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Lonely

Lots of good advice here, you definitely need to get out and about. I'm unsure from your post whether you're literally stuck in the house without transport or just finding it hard to connect with people.
Sally Redux is offline  
Old Jul 11th 2010, 2:31 am
  #8  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 22,105
AmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Lonely

Get yourself off to the nearest WalMart! Always good for a good laugh.....
AmerLisa is offline  
Old Jul 11th 2010, 3:34 am
  #9  
staying around
 
candy wy.'s Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2003
Location: In peace
Posts: 2,328
candy wy. has a reputation beyond reputecandy wy. has a reputation beyond reputecandy wy. has a reputation beyond reputecandy wy. has a reputation beyond reputecandy wy. has a reputation beyond reputecandy wy. has a reputation beyond reputecandy wy. has a reputation beyond reputecandy wy. has a reputation beyond reputecandy wy. has a reputation beyond reputecandy wy. has a reputation beyond reputecandy wy. has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Lonely

Originally Posted by AmerLisa View Post
Get yourself off to the nearest WalMart! Always good for a good laugh.....

So if we ever head into your town thats were we will find you
candy wy. is offline  
Old Jul 11th 2010, 3:38 am
  #10  
A Cockney Floridian
 
callowman's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: Originally-Leyton E10,London, then Harlow new town, Essex, and eventually ended up in Orlando area
Posts: 164
callowman is a glorious beacon of lightcallowman is a glorious beacon of lightcallowman is a glorious beacon of lightcallowman is a glorious beacon of lightcallowman is a glorious beacon of lightcallowman is a glorious beacon of lightcallowman is a glorious beacon of lightcallowman is a glorious beacon of lightcallowman is a glorious beacon of lightcallowman is a glorious beacon of lightcallowman is a glorious beacon of light
Default Re: Lonely

its completely different here
I been here 20 years, have been wanting to go home the past 10 of them

its just not like home, no pubs, no neighbours that know each other

its just work, work, work , go home shut your door , dont come out.

think I finally got my US wife to agree to move over :-)
callowman is offline  
Old Jul 11th 2010, 10:01 am
  #11  
BE Enthusiast
 
CAdreaming's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2010
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,696
CAdreaming has a reputation beyond reputeCAdreaming has a reputation beyond reputeCAdreaming has a reputation beyond reputeCAdreaming has a reputation beyond reputeCAdreaming has a reputation beyond reputeCAdreaming has a reputation beyond reputeCAdreaming has a reputation beyond reputeCAdreaming has a reputation beyond reputeCAdreaming has a reputation beyond reputeCAdreaming has a reputation beyond reputeCAdreaming has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Lonely

Originally Posted by Ellie-May View Post
Hi I have been here for nearly 3 years and do not know anyone. I do not work and I am stuck at home all the time. I am finding it very difficult living here and I am feeling very isolated and lonely. I really wish I had someone to talk to. I find the Americans very different, everything is becoming a problem. I have been married for 2 years and not sure what I should do. I feel like going home if things don't change. I am unable to work as I have severe neck problems and I am in pain 24/7.
hello
i heard about what seems an interesting national group - Daughters of British Empire
they are a national group - all across USA and everyone is either a brit living in states or had someone in their family - aunt- grandma etc who used to be.http://www.dbesociety.org/ I think they meet monthly and i think its a good way of meeting people.
good luck!
CAdreaming is offline  
Old Jul 11th 2010, 3:37 pm
  #12  
BE Enthusiast
 
charleygirl's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2009
Location: Leicester UK
Posts: 793
charleygirl has a reputation beyond reputecharleygirl has a reputation beyond reputecharleygirl has a reputation beyond reputecharleygirl has a reputation beyond reputecharleygirl has a reputation beyond reputecharleygirl has a reputation beyond reputecharleygirl has a reputation beyond reputecharleygirl has a reputation beyond reputecharleygirl has a reputation beyond reputecharleygirl has a reputation beyond reputecharleygirl has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Lonely

Hi ellie, I feel your pain of lonliness went through it myself, been here 13 years and really only the past 2 made some good friends..... i see you are in California, I know there are lots of brits there but not sure of your location.
Do you have family in the UK, any chance you can go home for an extended visit, as it sounds like you are very down.......
Many many of us in the forum have been through or are feeling the same. So post away about what you like to do what you really want to do etc....
charleygirl is offline  
Old Jul 11th 2010, 4:02 pm
  #13  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 22,105
AmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Lonely

Originally Posted by candy wy. View Post
So if we ever head into your town thats were we will find you


So what do you do for fun in WY, Candy?
AmerLisa is offline  
Old Jul 11th 2010, 4:32 pm
  #14  
staying around
 
candy wy.'s Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2003
Location: In peace
Posts: 2,328
candy wy. has a reputation beyond reputecandy wy. has a reputation beyond reputecandy wy. has a reputation beyond reputecandy wy. has a reputation beyond reputecandy wy. has a reputation beyond reputecandy wy. has a reputation beyond reputecandy wy. has a reputation beyond reputecandy wy. has a reputation beyond reputecandy wy. has a reputation beyond reputecandy wy. has a reputation beyond reputecandy wy. has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Lonely

Originally Posted by AmerLisa View Post


So what do you do for fun in WY, Candy?
Nothing I dont have time, I go on vacation every 2 weeks

I will be in your Walmart one day
candy wy. is offline  
Old Jul 11th 2010, 4:39 pm
  #15  
 
Poppy girl's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2006
Location: Reno Nevada
Posts: 15,917
Poppy girl has a reputation beyond reputePoppy girl has a reputation beyond reputePoppy girl has a reputation beyond reputePoppy girl has a reputation beyond reputePoppy girl has a reputation beyond reputePoppy girl has a reputation beyond reputePoppy girl has a reputation beyond reputePoppy girl has a reputation beyond reputePoppy girl has a reputation beyond reputePoppy girl has a reputation beyond reputePoppy girl has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Lonely

Originally Posted by candy wy. View Post
Nothing I dont have time, I go on vacation every 2 weeks

I will be in your Walmart one day
Boost Boost Boost

Sorry but I don't see where Americans are that different at all thats always confused me when folk make that comment
Poppy girl is offline  

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell My Personal Information -

Copyright © 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.