Ellie-May

Hi I have been here for nearly 3 years and do not know anyone. I do not work and I am stuck at home all the time. I am finding it very difficult living here and I am feeling very isolated and lonely. I really wish I had someone to talk to. I find the Americans very different, everything is becoming a problem. I have been married for 2 years and not sure what I should do. I feel like going home if things don't change. I am unable to work as I have severe neck problems and I am in pain 24/7.

dunroving

I remember times when the only thing that got me up in the morning was the fact I had to go to work - I can't imagine how difficult it must be to be stuck in the house all day. There have been several threads on here from spouses who moved and then couldn't work, I don't know if it would help you to look for them using the Advanced Search ...

The usual response is to suggest you volunteer or find meetup groups, but you may have tried that already. It really can be difficult when you are new to an area to make new friends, and many people do it initially through work.

What does your husband have to say about the situation? Is it possible to take a trip home to see family for a while?

Sorry I'm not being much help, but I hope things get better for you.

lisa67

Hi Ellie-May

So sorry to hear that you're going through a tough time. I Know when I moved here I thought that, seeing as we al spoke the same language, that the transition would be easy, but there are huge differences aren't there?
Maybe a trip home might help. I know that, as I couldn;t work when I first arrived that I had to make myself get out and about or I'd be in the house going crazy. I tried to get out every day, even if it was to the library, ir to window shop at the mall.
I used www.volunteermatch.org.
Are there any hobbies you like to do?

Ja5on

I'm not sure if it's your sort of thing but there's normally a lot of good people to meet at church.

Rete

Are you on a visa that does not allow you to work, i.e. as the spouse of a H-1B holder?

I don't know where in the US you are living but there are a great many Brits living throughout the US. Check out the meetup forum here and see if there is a meetup in or around your area. At least you can go and meet other Brits and have a bit of a laugh and companionship.

Look into volunteering at perhaps your local hospital or animal shelter. Start taking walks in the early evening and smile and say hello to those you pass on the way. You would be amazed how after a few times of doing this people will start smiling back and saying hello in return. Expand the dialogue from there and at least you will be socializing on a small scale that will expand with time. If you have a hobby, join classes.

It is hard but the secret I've found is to extend yourself outside of your comfort level and start conversations rather than waiting for someone else to do so.

MsElui

agree with the above. Nothing will change whilst you are inside your own home. You need to get out somewhere or somehow so that you have contact with others and potential friendships can blossom. Now whether thats volunteering, doing a hobby class (like scrapbooking or sewing at the local craft store), visiting the library and reading the books there, mooching round a museum or gallery, walking in the park (have you a pet you can walk - people will always stop and stroke the dog), ow whatever you feel you can manage with your neck etc - it will put you in contact with other people and more importantly - give you a change of scenery.

Sally Redux

Lots of good advice here, you definitely need to get out and about. I'm unsure from your post whether you're literally stuck in the house without transport or just finding it hard to connect with people.

AmerLisa

Get yourself off to the nearest WalMart! Always good for a good laugh.....

candy wy.

So if we ever head into your town thats were we will find you

callowman

its completely different here
I been here 20 years, have been wanting to go home the past 10 of them

its just not like home, no pubs, no neighbours that know each other

its just work, work, work , go home shut your door , dont come out.

think I finally got my US wife to agree to move over :-)

CAdreaming

hello
i heard about what seems an interesting national group - Daughters of British Empire
they are a national group - all across USA and everyone is either a brit living in states or had someone in their family - aunt- grandma etc who used to be.http://www.dbesociety.org/ I think they meet monthly and i think its a good way of meeting people.
good luck!

charleygirl

Hi ellie, I feel your pain of lonliness went through it myself, been here 13 years and really only the past 2 made some good friends..... i see you are in California, I know there are lots of brits there but not sure of your location.
Do you have family in the UK, any chance you can go home for an extended visit, as it sounds like you are very down.......
Many many of us in the forum have been through or are feeling the same. So post away about what you like to do what you really want to do etc....

AmerLisa

So what do you do for fun in WY, Candy?

candy wy.

Nothing I dont have time, I go on vacation every 2 weeks

I will be in your Walmart one day

Poppy girl

Boost Boost Boost

Sorry but I don't see where Americans are that different at all thats always confused me when folk make that comment