Go Back  British Expats > Living & Moving Abroad > USA
Reload this Page >

Leaving in 5 days... terrible cold feet.

Leaving in 5 days... terrible cold feet.

Old Nov 22nd 2011, 8:03 am
  #16  
Just Joined
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 5
MovingtoTexas is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Leaving in 5 days... terrible cold feet.

@dbj100, @Britishguy36: It's ok, I do realize not having a car in the US is considered batty! I'm going to be living in a town which is no more than 3 miles square and I'll be less than a mile from the grocery store and the gym, the two places I'll want to go most often. I'm working from home, so there's no commute. As soon as my container arrives, I'll have a bike too. If I want to go to the big town, I'll rent a car - but I can't see me wanting/needing to go more than once a month.

It's a cost saving thing, that I have thought through, but in my panic yesterday, I suddenly decided the ability to just take 'a drive through the countryside' was the thing that would break me. A bit calmer, I realise I'm just getting panicky over nothing - I can always change my mind and buy a car!

Thank you for pointing it out though - if you had not, I would not have worked through it this way and got to the calm point.

@keaki80 thank you for sharing your thoughts. I'm still scared, but feeling better about being scared. You're right - if I wasn't it'd be because I was dreaming.. and as Bob said, no dreaming, just adventure!

@frank I'm all for not peeing of the natives! I shall keep the 'not comparing' thought at the front of mind. Thank you for your good wishes.

Thank you everyone for sharing your thoughts and the things I might have missed. I'm really astounded (in a good way) about your response.

Moving...
MovingtoTexas is offline  
Old Nov 22nd 2011, 11:31 am
  #17  
BE Forum Addict
 
Brat1's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2009
Location: Bishopbriggs - now Bethel, Connecticut
Posts: 1,439
Brat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond reputeBrat1 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Leaving in 5 days... terrible cold feet.

I hope that you've calmed down a wee bit since yesterday, honestly, as the others have said, the "cold feet" feeling is quite normal and all part of the move from one country to another. Take the next few days to enjoy the people around you, and try and relax, it's going to be just fine
Brat1 is offline  
Old Nov 22nd 2011, 12:18 pm
  #18  
Account Closed
 
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 0
scrubbedexpat097 has a reputation beyond reputescrubbedexpat097 has a reputation beyond reputescrubbedexpat097 has a reputation beyond reputescrubbedexpat097 has a reputation beyond reputescrubbedexpat097 has a reputation beyond reputescrubbedexpat097 has a reputation beyond reputescrubbedexpat097 has a reputation beyond reputescrubbedexpat097 has a reputation beyond reputescrubbedexpat097 has a reputation beyond reputescrubbedexpat097 has a reputation beyond reputescrubbedexpat097 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Leaving in 5 days... terrible cold feet.

Originally Posted by MovingtoTexas
@dbj100, @Britishguy36: It's ok, I do realize not having a car in the US is considered batty! I'm going to be living in a town which is no more than 3 miles square and I'll be less than a mile from the grocery store and the gym, the two places I'll want to go most often. I'm working from home, so there's no commute. As soon as my container arrives, I'll have a bike too. If I want to go to the big town, I'll rent a car - but I can't see me wanting/needing to go more than once a month.

It's a cost saving thing, that I have thought through, but in my panic yesterday, I suddenly decided the ability to just take 'a drive through the countryside' was the thing that would break me. A bit calmer, I realise I'm just getting panicky over nothing - I can always change my mind and buy a car!

Thank you for pointing it out though - if you had not, I would not have worked through it this way and got to the calm point.

@keaki80 thank you for sharing your thoughts. I'm still scared, but feeling better about being scared. You're right - if I wasn't it'd be because I was dreaming.. and as Bob said, no dreaming, just adventure!

@frank I'm all for not peeing of the natives! I shall keep the 'not comparing' thought at the front of mind. Thank you for your good wishes.

Thank you everyone for sharing your thoughts and the things I might have missed. I'm really astounded (in a good way) about your response.

Moving...
Honey, that sounds good in theory but neither the weather conditions and the lack of pavements to walk on make it possible. Believe me, been there and done it!! It may be ok for a few weeks but it wont be long before you realise that your own transport is necessary in just about any small town in Texas.


Good luck anyway. At least you are moving when the weather is not quite so brutal
scrubbedexpat097 is offline  
Old Nov 22nd 2011, 12:35 pm
  #19  
Arrogant ****
 
dbj1000's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Plano, TX
Posts: 4,323
dbj1000 has a reputation beyond reputedbj1000 has a reputation beyond reputedbj1000 has a reputation beyond reputedbj1000 has a reputation beyond reputedbj1000 has a reputation beyond reputedbj1000 has a reputation beyond reputedbj1000 has a reputation beyond reputedbj1000 has a reputation beyond reputedbj1000 has a reputation beyond reputedbj1000 has a reputation beyond reputedbj1000 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Leaving in 5 days... terrible cold feet.

Your reasoning for not having a car is the product of a cultural misunderstanding. I am very glad to hear that you will have the ability to get a car when you're here, even if you're underestimating the need for one right now.

The heat, lack of provision for pedestrians and bicycles and THE HEAT will factor strongly into your decision next year, when the temperatures are into the 100s by April

Not to mention the heat. Do they make bicycle shorts with asbestos inserts?

What are you going to be doing for work that involves isolating yourself in the middle of Texas, and only visiting the grocery store and gym?!
dbj1000 is offline  
Old Nov 22nd 2011, 2:53 pm
  #20  
BE Enthusiast
 
caleyjag's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2008
Location: Malibu, CA
Posts: 921
caleyjag has a reputation beyond reputecaleyjag has a reputation beyond reputecaleyjag has a reputation beyond reputecaleyjag has a reputation beyond reputecaleyjag has a reputation beyond reputecaleyjag has a reputation beyond reputecaleyjag has a reputation beyond reputecaleyjag has a reputation beyond reputecaleyjag has a reputation beyond reputecaleyjag has a reputation beyond reputecaleyjag has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Leaving in 5 days... terrible cold feet.

Hmm. I think you will need a car pretty soon. I just about managed in downtown LA without a car for a year but it was crap.


Now, I don't want to turn a fairly positive thread on its head.........but........working from home.........what visa are you going to be using?
caleyjag is offline  
Old Nov 22nd 2011, 6:32 pm
  #21  
BE Forum Addict
 
frrussre's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Ft Lauderdale, FL
Posts: 4,792
frrussre has a reputation beyond reputefrrussre has a reputation beyond reputefrrussre has a reputation beyond reputefrrussre has a reputation beyond reputefrrussre has a reputation beyond reputefrrussre has a reputation beyond reputefrrussre has a reputation beyond reputefrrussre has a reputation beyond reputefrrussre has a reputation beyond reputefrrussre has a reputation beyond reputefrrussre has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Leaving in 5 days... terrible cold feet.

We lived in Manhattan, NYC trains, buses, taxi"s, boats & planes, can literally walk everywhere, plus wifes family & friends all around us. As Caleyjag said, we managed one year no car, rented, as we needed. Was horrible nightmare. Small town Texas, need car big time.

I now live in the heat of South Fl, I try to walk a lot, very difficult, I take half mile walk around the estate I live in, then go home take a shower, change clothes. I hoover the truck outside, go back in take shower change clothes. We are 9 miles from ocean so get sea breeze. Texas, hot as hell.

November 22nd, outside temp 80f, humid.

We are not trying to mock your ideas or put a downer & what will truly be a new adventure. But collectively we know about, these subjects. I came here a long time ago, pre the internet, wish there had been a site like this & the WEB, did everything by trial & error. LOTS OF ERRORS. Pissed off a few locals on the way.
Reg. Frank R.
frrussre is offline  
Old Nov 22nd 2011, 8:31 pm
  #22  
BE Enthusiast
 
CAdreaming's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2010
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,712
CAdreaming has a reputation beyond reputeCAdreaming has a reputation beyond reputeCAdreaming has a reputation beyond reputeCAdreaming has a reputation beyond reputeCAdreaming has a reputation beyond reputeCAdreaming has a reputation beyond reputeCAdreaming has a reputation beyond reputeCAdreaming has a reputation beyond reputeCAdreaming has a reputation beyond reputeCAdreaming has a reputation beyond reputeCAdreaming has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Leaving in 5 days... terrible cold feet.

I came over to the US in March and felt exactly the same as you! I posted on here asking if it was normal to feel this way - my thread was named the final countdown - saying I had only a few days left

Someone asked if I was dying which really made me LOL as I that I was being very dramatic!!! The same person basically told me to "man up" and just get on with it! It really resonated with me and I did just get on with it and here I am

Have no high expectation and just go with the flow and you will be fine. That said realise that it may be a bit challenging the first couple of months or so but things DO settle down

I have no car as I havent yet taken my test here so husband takes me everywhere or I get the bus - i think ive gotten too used to being driven everywhere now!!!

Good luck to you!!!! I remember being SO excited on the plane and I still am very excited to be here!! Let us know how you get on
CAdreaming is offline  
Old Nov 22nd 2011, 8:43 pm
  #23  
Account Closed
 
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 0
scrubbedexpat097 has a reputation beyond reputescrubbedexpat097 has a reputation beyond reputescrubbedexpat097 has a reputation beyond reputescrubbedexpat097 has a reputation beyond reputescrubbedexpat097 has a reputation beyond reputescrubbedexpat097 has a reputation beyond reputescrubbedexpat097 has a reputation beyond reputescrubbedexpat097 has a reputation beyond reputescrubbedexpat097 has a reputation beyond reputescrubbedexpat097 has a reputation beyond reputescrubbedexpat097 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Leaving in 5 days... terrible cold feet.

Originally Posted by CAdreaming
I came over to the US in March and felt exactly the same as you! I posted on here asking if it was normal to feel this way - my thread was named the final countdown - saying I had only a few days left

Someone asked if I was dying which really made me LOL as I that I was being very dramatic!!! The same person basically told me to "man up" and just get on with it! It really resonated with me and I did just get on with it and here I am

Have no high expectation and just go with the flow and you will be fine. That said realise that it may be a bit challenging the first couple of months or so but things DO settle down

I have no car as I havent yet taken my test here so husband takes me everywhere or I get the bus - i think ive gotten too used to being driven everywhere now!!!

Good luck to you!!!! I remember being SO excited on the plane and I still am very excited to be here!! Let us know how you get on

Glad to hear it is working well for you!

There is usually no public transport in small town Texas so "getting the bus" probably isn't an option for the OP unfortunately
scrubbedexpat097 is offline  
Old Nov 22nd 2011, 9:33 pm
  #24  
BE Forum Addict
 
frrussre's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Ft Lauderdale, FL
Posts: 4,792
frrussre has a reputation beyond reputefrrussre has a reputation beyond reputefrrussre has a reputation beyond reputefrrussre has a reputation beyond reputefrrussre has a reputation beyond reputefrrussre has a reputation beyond reputefrrussre has a reputation beyond reputefrrussre has a reputation beyond reputefrrussre has a reputation beyond reputefrrussre has a reputation beyond reputefrrussre has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Leaving in 5 days... terrible cold feet.

Originally Posted by Sugarmooma
Glad to hear it is working well for you!

There is usually no public transport in small town Texas so "getting the bus" probably isn't an option for the OP unfortunately
Gator riding is very popular.

Reg. Frank R.
frrussre is offline  
Old Nov 23rd 2011, 12:29 am
  #25  
Bob
BE Site Lead
 
Bob's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2004
Location: MA, USA
Posts: 92,167
Bob has a reputation beyond reputeBob has a reputation beyond reputeBob has a reputation beyond reputeBob has a reputation beyond reputeBob has a reputation beyond reputeBob has a reputation beyond reputeBob has a reputation beyond reputeBob has a reputation beyond reputeBob has a reputation beyond reputeBob has a reputation beyond reputeBob has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Leaving in 5 days... terrible cold feet.

Originally Posted by MovingtoTexas
@dbj100, @Britishguy36: It's ok, I do realize not having a car in the US is considered batty! I'm going to be living in a town which is no more than 3 miles square and I'll be less than a mile from the grocery store and the gym, the two places I'll want to go most often. I'm working from home, so there's no commute. As soon as my container arrives, I'll have a bike too. If I want to go to the big town, I'll rent a car - but I can't see me wanting/needing to go more than once a month.
Good luck with that.

The issue isn't so much the distance....it's the heat, the lack of pavements and the fact it's just not safe to walk or cycle out and about in many places.
Bob is offline  
Old Nov 23rd 2011, 1:33 am
  #26  
MODERATOR
 
penguinsix's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Hong Kong, mostly.
Posts: 5,213
penguinsix has a reputation beyond reputepenguinsix has a reputation beyond reputepenguinsix has a reputation beyond reputepenguinsix has a reputation beyond reputepenguinsix has a reputation beyond reputepenguinsix has a reputation beyond reputepenguinsix has a reputation beyond reputepenguinsix has a reputation beyond reputepenguinsix has a reputation beyond reputepenguinsix has a reputation beyond reputepenguinsix has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Leaving in 5 days... terrible cold feet.

What you are experiencing is normal, and I hate to say it, you might have a much worse bout of it once you arrive and discover that things you didn't expect turned out a bit worse than you hoped, even if your hopes were pretty low. You're just going to have to roll with it for a bit and make do where you can.

The lack of a car is a big deal--a very big deal. In fact I think many of the posts we have had over the years about homesickness have come in part due to a lack of mobility by the poster. Living without a car in all but the largest cities in the US is really an inconvenience and borderline impossible. As others have mentioned the weather, lack of pavements, and just general dangerousness of walking along many of the roads will take its toll. But you also should realize the population density of the US is a fraction of that in the UK, so whereas back home you would have 1 grocery store for 3,000 people that would mean you'd have one within about 1km of your home. But here that means you'll have 1 grocery within say 10km of your home (these numbers are exaggerated to illustrate the point).

It's ok to give it a try life without a car, but if you start to go a bit bonkers in the small town you might want to get one for excursions out to the city or drives in the country.

http://britishexpats.com/wiki/Travel...ars_in_America
penguinsix is offline  
Old Nov 23rd 2011, 3:01 am
  #27  
Just Joined
 
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 2
RoyTyrell is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Leaving in 5 days... terrible cold feet.

My wife and I are originally from the USA (born and raised natural citizen) currently living and working in Australia with tons of Brit Expats. We've had all kinds of discussion on immigration, the best place to live and work, etc.

Having worked in the oil and gas sector, we've moved and lived in many different countries but always prefer to live among our anglo cousins (even if the love is not always recipricated :-)

The thing to remember is that America is a nation of 320 million people. With dozens of completely different regional and local cultures. TEXAS is a very unique culture in America.. VERY unique. We, obviously, lived in Houston for a time because of our work, but absolutely hated it. We found the transition to OZ easier, frankly.

Not all of Texas (or even Houston) is a complete sh--hole. But it is HUGE shocker for even someone like me coming from Florida.

If Texas doesn't work out - I can tell you the Brits feel RIGHT AT HOME in Florida. My God you guys have taken over orlando.

DON'T BAIL OUT. Try Texas, if it doesn't work - catch a short flight to Florida. FLORIDA, you will love. We are returning home in December.

The wonderful thing about getting a visa to live and work in the states is - there are absolutlly no restrictions where you live (my GOD that's communist!) - but there may be restrictions on the types of work you can get.

And Americans, for the most part, love the Brits.

Give Texas a try, if it isn't for you - try another spot in the states less barbarian and crass (New York, Florida, Chicago, California)

Have Fun!

just caught the bit about not having a car! Texas is NOT a place to live without a car! worse than trying to live in LA without a car - NO public transportation whatsoever. That would pretty much rule out Florida too. Only place in the states you can live without a vehicle is NY

Last edited by RoyTyrell; Nov 23rd 2011 at 3:08 am.
RoyTyrell is offline  
Old Nov 23rd 2011, 3:39 am
  #28  
Bob
BE Site Lead
 
Bob's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2004
Location: MA, USA
Posts: 92,167
Bob has a reputation beyond reputeBob has a reputation beyond reputeBob has a reputation beyond reputeBob has a reputation beyond reputeBob has a reputation beyond reputeBob has a reputation beyond reputeBob has a reputation beyond reputeBob has a reputation beyond reputeBob has a reputation beyond reputeBob has a reputation beyond reputeBob has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Leaving in 5 days... terrible cold feet.

Originally Posted by RoyTyrell
My wife and I are originally from the USA (born and raised natural citizen) currently living and working in Australia with tons of Brit Expats. We've had all kinds of discussion on immigration, the best place to live and work, etc.
Welcome to BE!

And on NY, more down to NYC...and Boston is just about doable if in and around downtown, but it quickly becomes a no goer
Bob is offline  
Old Nov 23rd 2011, 3:56 am
  #29  
Arrogant ****
 
dbj1000's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Plano, TX
Posts: 4,323
dbj1000 has a reputation beyond reputedbj1000 has a reputation beyond reputedbj1000 has a reputation beyond reputedbj1000 has a reputation beyond reputedbj1000 has a reputation beyond reputedbj1000 has a reputation beyond reputedbj1000 has a reputation beyond reputedbj1000 has a reputation beyond reputedbj1000 has a reputation beyond reputedbj1000 has a reputation beyond reputedbj1000 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Leaving in 5 days... terrible cold feet.

Originally Posted by RoyTyrell
My wife and I are originally from the USA (born and raised natural citizen) currently living and working in Australia with tons of Brit Expats. We've had all kinds of discussion on immigration, the best place to live and work, etc.

Having worked in the oil and gas sector, we've moved and lived in many different countries but always prefer to live among our anglo cousins (even if the love is not always recipricated :-)

The thing to remember is that America is a nation of 320 million people. With dozens of completely different regional and local cultures. TEXAS is a very unique culture in America.. VERY unique. We, obviously, lived in Houston for a time because of our work, but absolutely hated it. We found the transition to OZ easier, frankly.

Not all of Texas (or even Houston) is a complete sh--hole. But it is HUGE shocker for even someone like me coming from Florida.

If Texas doesn't work out - I can tell you the Brits feel RIGHT AT HOME in Florida. My God you guys have taken over orlando.

DON'T BAIL OUT. Try Texas, if it doesn't work - catch a short flight to Florida. FLORIDA, you will love. We are returning home in December.

The wonderful thing about getting a visa to live and work in the states is - there are absolutlly no restrictions where you live (my GOD that's communist!) - but there may be restrictions on the types of work you can get.

And Americans, for the most part, love the Brits.

Give Texas a try, if it isn't for you - try another spot in the states less barbarian and crass (New York, Florida, Chicago, California)

Have Fun!

just caught the bit about not having a car! Texas is NOT a place to live without a car! worse than trying to live in LA without a car - NO public transportation whatsoever. That would pretty much rule out Florida too. Only place in the states you can live without a vehicle is NY
LMFAO! I sincerely hope that's the last time in my life I see Florida compared to Texas as being "less barbaric".
dbj1000 is offline  
Old Nov 23rd 2011, 10:29 am
  #30  
BE Enthusiast
 
HumphreyC's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2009
Location: Gaadnah MA
Posts: 597
HumphreyC has a reputation beyond reputeHumphreyC has a reputation beyond reputeHumphreyC has a reputation beyond reputeHumphreyC has a reputation beyond reputeHumphreyC has a reputation beyond reputeHumphreyC has a reputation beyond reputeHumphreyC has a reputation beyond reputeHumphreyC has a reputation beyond reputeHumphreyC has a reputation beyond reputeHumphreyC has a reputation beyond reputeHumphreyC has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Leaving in 5 days... terrible cold feet.

Nah - forget the walking and not owning a car thing unless you really need to save the money. Ironically, I live in a town in New England and the grocery store is closer to me than when I lived in the UK. I could walk there but I don't. Problem is 2 things:

1) Extremes of weather/temperature - walking is downright miserable in the heat and dangerous in the snow. There is a reason Americans created the largest trolley network in the world before the arrival of the motor car.

2) Everyone owns a car from the age of 17 so if you don't have a car you must either be a young kid, a lowlife who has had their licence taken away or a yuppie who lives in New York City. People will judge you.

In general:

1) Land is/was cheap here so stuff is generally much more spread out. Where I am I can walk to maybe 4-5 restaurants and a bookshop but If I was popping out to look at some electronics I would have to walk for 2 hours up a steep hill.

2) If you have just moved somewhere I think you need to get out and see the country. Otherwise when you move you'll just be stuck in the same small town with the same cast of characters which will get old very quick.
HumphreyC is offline  

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service -

Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.