Leaving in 5 days... terrible cold feet.
 

Hi everyone,

I'm leaving the UK for Texas in 5 days and all of a sudden, I have the worst cold feet. Not literally :-) but I'm freaking out that I've made a mistake, I'll have less money than I have here, won't know anyone, no car, living in the middle of nowhere..

Please could someone tell me that moving to the US was a great decision and they're much happier? There seems to be lots of people (not here necessarily) saying what they miss, but not many people saying that life is better.

Thanks!

Moving...

Re: Leaving in 5 days... terrible cold feet.
 

While the grass is always greener on the other side - at least until you get there - you also have to opportunity of a lifetime that many others do not. Life in the US is not perfect, but you will be ok. Good luck on the move.

Re: Leaving in 5 days... terrible cold feet.
 

I think that I can understand where you're coming from. Moving to a different country is a big step, no matter how prepared you are for it, and sometimes the reality of what you're doing becomes overwhelming. We moved to the US last February, didn't know anyone (no family etc over here), no car, I can't work because I'm on an H4 etc, and it's been a rollercoaster of emotions for different reasons, if you look at some of my past posts you'll get my drift
:eek: Would I change it??? Absolutely not, I believe that we did the right thing coming over, my kids have become more polite, more outgoing, we have made wonderful friends. I suppose what I'm saying is, it's what you make it. You have a fabulous opportunity to try something different and you've obviously thought it through, or you wouldn't be doing it.

I don't think you can say in one sentence, whether life is better or not, there are advantages and disadvantages of living wherever and I probably have the same feelings as any other Expat. I do miss things from the UK, but not enough to get me packing my bags any time soon. Take it one day at a time, make a list of things you need to do when you get here ie SSN, driving license etc, I'm sure that'll keep you busy for the first few weeks while you find your feet :D

It will be fine, and at the end of the day, if at any time you feel that this is not the life that is for you, then you go back to the UK, but honestly, give it your best shot. It's not for everyone, but we said we would wait 18-24 months before going home for a visit, and for me, that has definitely helped me "settle" here and feel that I belong where I am. We're going home at Xmas, and I have mixed feelings of how I'll feel when I'm back, but I'll deal with it like I deal with everything else, you can't change it, so just go with the flow.

Good luck, keep smiling, and enjoy the experience. Oh, and if you're worried about keeping in touch with everyone, I Skype my parents regularly, have kept in touch with many friends on FB (amazing how when you leave, you realise who your true friends really were :sneaky:) and have had tremendous support from the guys on here, without whom, I probably wouldn't be so upbeat as I am now. If you ever feel you have to vent, come on here, it puts things into perspective. I don't know if any of this helps but you are not alone and I'm sure things will work out just fine :)

Re: Leaving in 5 days... terrible cold feet.
 

Is it better than the UK?.....ummmm, it's different. You can't compare the 2 or you'll go crazy!

Like anything it has its upside and downsides but overall, for me and the family, it has been deemed a big success (we are are now making the US our permanent home, having been here for 16 months).

For our kids, they have had opportunities they never have had in the UK (friends, support for special needs kid, sporting opportunities, etc).

No doubt it is a massive upheaval - and the first few weeks will not be fun but give it a chance.

Hope it all works out for you and good luck.

Re: Leaving in 5 days... terrible cold feet.
 

Hey, I know the feeling I have gone from excitement to tears and realisation I am leaving my family and friends etc here....But I figure it is an opportunity and life is for living and learning. Keep in touch and lets see how we get on. I fly into New Jersey in 12 days......

Good Luck

Re: Leaving in 5 days... terrible cold feet.
 

Brat1

Good post.

Re: Leaving in 5 days... terrible cold feet.
 

Life is what it is. It's not always better or always worse, but what you make of it and what you hope to get out of it.

Sure, that doesn't really help you, but then it all depends on what you hope to gain by moving here.

If it's for the "dream", well you'll probably end up being miserable then, but if for the adventure, you'll probably have a ball in comparison.

Re: Leaving in 5 days... terrible cold feet.
 

Well if you are moving to south Texas you certainly wont have cold feet...it is hot and humid here still;)


Seriously though, it is a natural reaction. Look on it as an adventure, try not to compare and I can honestly say that most Texans are very helpful and friendly and having been here for over 23 years now it really is not a bad place to be.

Good luck to you and try to relax and enjoy!

Re: Leaving in 5 days... terrible cold feet.
 

Moving to the US was the best thing that ever happened to me. I have never looked back.

I think the critical thing with moving to a new environment is getting lucky with the people you meet and surround yourself with.

With that in mind, I would say the most important thing when you arrive is to get out and be active so that you meet people, make good friends and get connected into society.

If you simply just go to work and then go home to your house, of course you are going to get very lonely very quickly.

Hopefully you are heading to a part of Texas that has lots of social activites going on.

Re: Leaving in 5 days... terrible cold feet.
 

Thank you, although, when I read my stuff back, I tend to waffle on a bit..... :nod:

Re: Leaving in 5 days... terrible cold feet.
 

Thank you everyone! I was feeling a bit calmer and now the house I thought I was going to be living in looks like it might fall through. Aggghhh. I hate not being in control.

It's great though, to know I'm not alone, and that you all wished me well. That made me feel great today. Thank you!

@Discoviking: Thank you for reminding me that I have an opportunity most would be jealous of. It's up to me to make the most of it.

@Brat1: You're not waffley at all. I can't tell you how much it helped to know you wouldn't change your decision. Unfortunately, I have to come back mid Jan, but after that, I'm going to take your guidance and wait for a LOOOOONG time for a visit. I definitely want to give myself every chance to settle.

@washsaint: I definitely want to avoid the crazy! I'm glad it was a success for you and your family. I'll not expect the first few weeks to be fun, and then hopefully I'll be pleasantly surprised!

@Lexielou, I'm so glad I'm not alone. Good luck on your move! I may be back here every day whining, so we can keep in touch easily :-))

@Bob: you're right. I need that perspective. No dream, just adventure :-)

@Sugarmooma. I love the texas sky. Every day I've ever been there (all of 30 days!) it's been so blue you could make a sailors trousers from it, and the sunshine makes me smile. I just remembered, when I stayed there for 3 weeks last summer saying 'I don't know how anyone could be miserable here'. Thank you so much for reminding me of that. I've got all excited again!

@caleyjag: I'm so glad you are happy there. I'm going to work from home, so getting out of the house and meeting people is going to be really important. I shall be bookmarking this post and using your thoughts to remind myself of that often. Thank you!

This really is one of the nicest places on the web. Thank you all for being wonderful today.

Moving...

Re: Leaving in 5 days... terrible cold feet.
 

You've received great input in this thread already, but I'll just add one thing:

NO CAR?!?

Seriously, of all the things to not have in the middle of nowhere in Texas, that one's a deal breaker.

Is there a good reason for you not having a car? There is ZERO public transport to speak of here in TX, and when a Texan says a store is "down the road a ways" that often means 50-75 miles away! Remember, this state is bigger than Britain by quite a large margin.

Re: Leaving in 5 days... terrible cold feet.
 

So you're going to be housebound then? How's that going to work.

Almost everywhere in the US, a car is a must. You can't walk to the shops over here.

Re: Leaving in 5 days... terrible cold feet.
 

I will just add my twopenneth. I do think there are so many Brits over here who do not come onto this website, or have even tried to find an expats website because they LOVE their life here and don't miss anything.
I can't speak for people on here and wouldn't dare to, but when I come on here it is to keep part of what I do miss, in the mix.
There are so many expats who wouldn't dream of returning to UK and love this life; there are some who can't wait to go back... there are so many wonderful things about this country - and the people, way of life, etc etc., and some that will drive you nuts!
I think your cold feet is only to be expected - and if you didn't have it, then it might seem as if you hadn't thought about the enormity of what you're doing seriously enough. It would be almost as if you were leaving UK with an unrealistic dream.
This way, you can see that this is a big move and it might not go right for you, but you have at least got to give it a shot, otherwise you'd spend your life wondering what if?
I feel for you. It's a scary time, but you will have fun.. and this place is here for the days when you need it!

Re: Leaving in 5 days... terrible cold feet.
 

"You can't compare the 2 or you'll go crazy!"

This is a great piece of advice, very important Grasshopper. Plus will pee off the natives, i know I have been guilty of it myself many many times.

Breaka leg.

Hope all goes well.

Reg. Frank R.