Originally Posted by Mally Lass

Just how important is money ?

OK, I'm really gonna embarass myself here, as not many people are aware of our story, but I'm so sick of people saying that money isn't important and at least family and health are better. So here goes.

Ok, when we had to return unexpectedly from Aus back to the UK, we had nothing ! We came back with around £150 (our last bit of wages). We had no furniture, no money, no jobs and no home. All we had were clothes and a few of the childrens' (x 3) Toys.

We had no choice but to go to the Local Authority for help with housing on our return and waited and waited in a Run down, filthy, drug haven of a Bed & Breakfast for nearly a year, awaiting a property. We couldn't find jobs, as employers automatically took it as a bad thing, when we said we were in a B & B through our Council. We had to claim the dreaded benefits, and to be honest I don't know how people stay that way. It took the majority of our time filling in forms, re-filling them as they were continually mislaid by members of staff and different centres etc. Making never ending phone calls to people for proof of us and our children, then going back and forth a billion times to take this proof to the necessary people. Anyway, being on benefits is a full time job in my opinion, unless it's sickness or disability. It's not what we wanted but had no choice in our situation. We couldn't privately rent, because a)we had been out of the country and had no previous fixed abode for x amount of years whilst away, b)had no MONEY for a deposit, c)had 3 children (which estate agens don't seem to like these days). We struggled daily as coping with the whole benefits system played havoc with mine and my husbands health, to the extent that he thought he was having a breakdown. It was very costly too, transport to the local offices every few days, constant phone calls, photocopying etc, I can now see why people on benefits drink so much Anyway, we were refused housing from Council on the basis that we had been out of the Country, no ifs, no buts, end of story. My son (8) was being bullied by another resident of 12 years old and already an alcoholic like his resident parents, and we were powerless to do anything, bar contain him in our small room. My daughter (5) had horrific nightmares of the druggies that hung out in the hallway, and my other daughter (5) started wetting the bed and having asthma attacks. They were at school all this time which was 15 miles away, again very costly, but the local school wouldn't accept them, because we weren't 'permanently' housed in the area

You know it's funny, you realise who your friends are and how 'blood' isnt thicker than water, when all around you are suddenly in a position where they cannot help. (Sorry, I know you're homeless, but we can't put you up for a few days, as we have a dinner party on Thursday !) Suddenly friends and family stop calling, so you find yourself with no-one too. Before anyone thinks, 'Oh my family wouldnt be like that', Think on ! My family would have moved the earth for me before we went to Aus.

2 days before we were being evicted from the B & B,(because we weren't ELIGIBLE for help from the Government) we finally found a landlord after a year of searching, that would accept us AND our children (warily) without a deposit, that we could pay over the next 2 months. It was our only chance. We moved in with nothing. We both found jobs pretty quickly, badly paid, but jobs nevertheless. We scrimped every penny to pay back the deposit and buy second hand furniture. nearly 4 years on and we are still in very low paid jobs, and just can't seem to progress anyway, no matter how hard we try, or how many extra little jobs we have, so no chance of ever getting on this stupid housing ladder.
Our experience is shameful and embarassing.
We sit here in a Flat, that we've tried to make the best of, with our children, and wonder what the hell happened to our happiness, wondering if our Landlord, like so many others, will want to sell the property on, so we have to move YET AGAIN.

We hate it here, our children hate it here, it's affected all our health and our lives are a misery the majority of the time, except for little things that happen now and again to brighten the mood.

Just how important is Money ????

Money is the World and the answer to everything if you have NONE.

Good Health doesn't get you a roof over your head, secure your children, protect your family, or get you out of the gutter you are in and those are the things that are most important.

I'd rather have money any day

Now I'll go back in my box, thoroughly embarassed and place my paper bag back over my head.

Originally Posted by dunroving

Blimey, Mally, it's me who should be embarrased for even thinking to complain about my situation. You have nothing to be embarrassed about - you've got more cojones than those who had an easy ride and come on here with the easy jibes at those they see as having "failed" (i.e., not thinking Oz/US/wherever is paradise and having the temerity to return to the UK).

Good luck to you, mate.

Originally Posted by Scout

Here's one thing to think of Dunroving.....are you maybe idealizing the States a bit? I sort of detect a little bit of it from you but then again I could be way off base.

If you return now to the States would you be able to get a job back in Tennessee? You teach at the College/University level don't you? Can you get tenure? If not then your job would not always be 'safe'.

As an American it was always in the back of my mind that if health issues did arise then even though I had excellent insurance thru my company......I still would be struggling if I had to go on long term disability. ....and no job is ever really safe....I was made redundant after 23 years with a company when it was sold (in our situation it was great for us......but really sucked for about 1000 other employees).

Right now the housing market is the States is in the crapper in most areas. Houses are sitting at a standstill. Many markets are way down (as a potential buyer that would be good for you though). Did you pay into the Social Security System in the States & have a private pension plan available? At our age (I'm 47, you are 49)....it's a painful fact of life we have to plan for being old and broken......Do you know for sure you could return to Tennessee? Or would you have to accept a position in another state that you might not like so well.

I guess what I am trying to get at in my roundabout way is..... life is not always greener on the other side of the fence. It's what you make of it whether it's in the UK, the US, Australia, etc. that counts in the end.

If money worries are a concern here how about a roommate to help defer expenses? If hiking and biking are great but not enough then try something else or expand a bit with what you love. Is there a Rambler Group of some sort near you? If there is then check it out.....meet new people.......or if there's not.........maybe form one yourself...organize some Rambles.

I dunno, but it seems like you haven't really been back long enough to settle in enough yet....that's just my thinking though. Follow your mind and your heart and you'll hopefully find your answers.

Originally Posted by dunroving

.....and have a nice nest egg in a 401K (which I can't transfer to the UK, and may well be worthless if the pound is at $4 by the time I retire).

Originally Posted by dunroving

I thought I'd bring up this subject as it so often permeates a lot of the threads on here, and it has been on my mind a lot lately (as you may notice from me harping on about it in various threads).

A lot of people on here have been pretty messed up financially by their ping-ponging, usually due to (a) the money spent on emigrating and repatriating, and (b) the flickin' crazy behaviour of UK house prices while they have been away. For every person complaining about how broke it's made them, there are others who say that it's more important to be happy (i.e., in the UK) than rich.

But where do you draw the limit?

For those who don't know me, look at my list of locations at left, and be aware that I came back (again!) in July of last year. I have recently been doing the calculations and it's really depressing me just how much poorly off I am than when I was in the States. For example:

First off, understand that I've always been financially very responsible - no rooms full of toys (except my bicycles, which I look at as health insurance), no extravagant holidays.

I spent my life savings going through grad school in the US, and started from scratch in 1996.

After just 3 and a half years teaching uni in Tennessee, I paid off my car loan, and owned a house with only about $50,000 (25,000 quid) left on the mortgage, which I would have (EASILY) paid off within just a few years. I always had plenty of spare cash for little holidays, etc., and my employer had great benefits package so no health or insurance worries.

When I returned to the UK in 2000, after spending about 6,000 quid on the move (including 3,000 on the dog's quarantine), I lost almost all of my savings (about 10,000 quid), by putting it in the UK stock market for "safekeeping" (dumb, dumb, dumb). Two of the funds went broke and the fund managers are going through legal proceedings, and I have about 1,800 quid left after the others have made a weak recovery.

After 5 and half years in North Carolina, I again owned a house with only about $80,000 (40,000 quid) left on the mortgage and a healthy enough savings history that it would have been paid off within less than 5 years. Again, plenty of spare left every month to save and go on cheap holidays.

Now, here I find myself back in the UK, just 15 years from retirement with a 25-year 150,000 pound mortgage around my neck (to buy a 3-bed ex-council house), I had to cash in half my US savings at a stupid exchange rate for the deposit and the rest is sitting in a non-interest-bearing dollar account because I just can't bring myself to exchange it at today's rates. Moving back has cost me about 8,000 quid (again, about $3,000 on the dog, gotta love her).

My monthly mortgage and bills amount to over 80% of my take-home pay (again, I don't buy toys, clothes, holidays - this is just basic bills, mostly the mortgage). I'll retire 10 years before the mortgage end period and I can't see myself even being able to keep this house after I retire. I'll probably have to sell and downsize. I can't help but be really, really pissed off at what has happened in the UK housing market in the past 5-8 years as it has completely changed my financial situation.

The plus side is that I get to walk out of my front door and am on hillside walks within minutes. So, great free hiking opportunities on the doorstep - but is this enough to keep me going until (and past) retirement?

If I could click my fingers and be back in Tennessee, I'd do it in a moment. Am I crazy?

Originally Posted by Mally Lass

Just how important is money ?

OK, I'm really gonna embarass myself here, as not many people are aware of our story, but I'm so sick of people saying that money isn't important and at least family and health are better. So here goes.

Ok, when we had to return unexpectedly from Aus back to the UK, we had nothing ! We came back with around £150 (our last bit of wages). We had no furniture, no money, no jobs and no home. All we had were clothes and a few of the childrens' (x 3) Toys.

We had no choice but to go to the Local Authority for help with housing on our return and waited and waited in a Run down, filthy, drug haven of a Bed & Breakfast for nearly a year, awaiting a property. We couldn't find jobs, as employers automatically took it as a bad thing, when we said we were in a B & B through our Council. We had to claim the dreaded benefits, and to be honest I don't know how people stay that way. It took the majority of our time filling in forms, re-filling them as they were continually mislaid by members of staff and different centres etc. Making never ending phone calls to people for proof of us and our children, then going back and forth a billion times to take this proof to the necessary people. Anyway, being on benefits is a full time job in my opinion, unless it's sickness or disability. It's not what we wanted but had no choice in our situation. We couldn't privately rent, because a)we had been out of the country and had no previous fixed abode for x amount of years whilst away, b)had no MONEY for a deposit, c)had 3 children (which estate agens don't seem to like these days). We struggled daily as coping with the whole benefits system played havoc with mine and my husbands health, to the extent that he thought he was having a breakdown. It was very costly too, transport to the local offices every few days, constant phone calls, photocopying etc, I can now see why people on benefits drink so much Anyway, we were refused housing from Council on the basis that we had been out of the Country, no ifs, no buts, end of story. My son (8) was being bullied by another resident of 12 years old and already an alcoholic like his resident parents, and we were powerless to do anything, bar contain him in our small room. My daughter (5) had horrific nightmares of the druggies that hung out in the hallway, and my other daughter (5) started wetting the bed and having asthma attacks. They were at school all this time which was 15 miles away, again very costly, but the local school wouldn't accept them, because we weren't 'permanently' housed in the area

You know it's funny, you realise who your friends are and how 'blood' isnt thicker than water, when all around you are suddenly in a position where they cannot help. (Sorry, I know you're homeless, but we can't put you up for a few days, as we have a dinner party on Thursday !) Suddenly friends and family stop calling, so you find yourself with no-one too. Before anyone thinks, 'Oh my family wouldnt be like that', Think on ! My family would have moved the earth for me before we went to Aus.

2 days before we were being evicted from the B & B,(because we weren't ELIGIBLE for help from the Government) we finally found a landlord after a year of searching, that would accept us AND our children (warily) without a deposit, that we could pay over the next 2 months. It was our only chance. We moved in with nothing. We both found jobs pretty quickly, badly paid, but jobs nevertheless. We scrimped every penny to pay back the deposit and buy second hand furniture. nearly 4 years on and we are still in very low paid jobs, and just can't seem to progress anyway, no matter how hard we try, or how many extra little jobs we have, so no chance of ever getting on this stupid housing ladder.
Our experience is shameful and embarassing.
We sit here in a Flat, that we've tried to make the best of, with our children, and wonder what the hell happened to our happiness, wondering if our Landlord, like so many others, will want to sell the property on, so we have to move YET AGAIN.

We hate it here, our children hate it here, it's affected all our health and our lives are a misery the majority of the time, except for little things that happen now and again to brighten the mood.

Just how important is Money ????

Money is the World and the answer to everything if you have NONE.

Good Health doesn't get you a roof over your head, secure your children, protect your family, or get you out of the gutter you are in and those are the things that are most important.

I'd rather have money any day

Now I'll go back in my box, thoroughly embarassed and place my paper bag back over my head.

Originally Posted by Mally Lass

Just how important is money ?

OK, I'm really gonna embarass myself here, as not many people are aware of our story, but I'm so sick of people saying that money isn't important and at least family and health are better. So here goes.........


Now I'll go back in my box, thoroughly embarassed and place my paper bag back over my head.

Originally Posted by LouiseD

It's so heartbreaking and frustrating when you are trying to dig yourself out of a huge hole and that's why it maddens me when programmes on TV encourage people to emigrate to the sunshine. Many people simply do not realise just how much of a huge gamble it can turn out to be.

Originally Posted by Mally Lass

Just how important is money ?

OK, I'm really gonna embarass myself here, as not many people are aware of our story, but I'm so sick of people saying that money isn't important and at least family and health are better. So here goes.

Originally Posted by Scout

I try not to think about how much we have spent or I would be depressed all the time.....between shelling out money to have DH immigrate to the US......selling houses he used to rent out over here to start up a business in the States.......having the property market over here skyrocket while we were in the States, then selling up over there, taking a huge hit transferring assets to the UK..........moving expenses, paying for me to get the proper Visas to the UK (that's a large chunk over the next few months because I got screwed and can't get Indefinate Leave to Remain until I get Further Leave to Remain for only a few months, then ILR and then a year later citizenship....then there's the fact that we bought a Post Office and may be closed down in the next year and if we aren't, we are tired of working 7 days a week to keep it going and want to move on anyway.......and we are thinking of moving on to Europe sometime in the next few years.........and oh wait........I forgot about the dog and moving her over here......and every holiday for the past 6 years has been either visiting his family here in the UK of my family in the States .......outside of a short trip over to Dublin ........I want to pull my hair out.

BUT.....we are still together despite the odds. We live in the hills of Wales so we have been lucky and not been flooded with the wonderful British weather this summer......and EVENTUALLy we will travel Europe.

After working like dogs the past year to make our business viable we are now able to take time off in small increments (a few hours here....a few hours there).........and EVENTUALLY it will stop raining for a day or two and we can work on our suntans.

Originally Posted by blaze

Your post office wouldn't be in the Abergavenny area would it?

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl

When people used to say 'money isn't everything' an aunt of mine used to say 'at least you can be ill in comfort'.

Originally Posted by Mally Lass

That is so true

Thanks for all the kind words and K sent to you

It's funny what we take for granted........until it's gone

Originally Posted by Louise M

Mally lass
I think you are so brave.

I gave up my son and a fab job to come to Oz as my husband was unable to get a job in the Uk after being made redundant 3 years earlier.We had very little money and lost our house as we couldnt afford the repayments. I hate it here and I want to go home but I cant. I used all my savings to come here and set up home again. My marriage is in tatters and to be truthful has been for a long time. What a fool I was.


I wish you all the best and hope everything changes for the better soon.
Best to you all
Louise x