Interesting Conversation on the Plane
 

I haven't posted for about a month as I've been home to the UK to visit family and friends (plus a holiday in Majorca with my mum and sister's family and side trip to Grenoble, France to stay with friends.....:D )

I flew on BA from Heathrow to Newark, New Jersey a couple of days ago. Towards the end of the flight the man sitting next to me started chatting. It turned out that he had lived in various cities on the US Eastern Seaboard for **50 YEARS** but had sold his home in a retirement community near Tampa in Florida to return to live in Scotland (Stonehaven, near Aberdeen) a couple of years ago.

I asked him if he found it difficult to return to the UK after being an expat for so long and I was surprised to hear that he had settled in straightaway......in fact he was going to rent privately but after a couple of weeks was offered a Housing Association flat!

The man told me that he had had a major operation about 3 years ago and re-assessed his life. He said that he had no family in the States (I didn't like to ask him if he was widowed or divorced) but his four sisters lived in Scotland and he was enjoying spending lots more time with them than he was able to before and doesn't miss living in the US at all, although he is able to take trips to visit friends there - which is why he was on the same flight as me.

His only (albeit minor) complaint was that the winters in Aberdeen are so cold after living for a few years in Florida, but he says he will be going to visit friends in FL next January. He also said that 'home is where the heart is' and he felt the need to return to his roots.

It was heartening to hear what he had to say....

Re: Interesting Conversation on the Plane
 

Hi...I was thinking about you this morning.

I can relate to that...that's exactly how we feel. Although we would probably spend summers in the UK and winters in one of the warmer US states.

There is and I think there always will be that connection with Brits...something I think you need more and more the older you get.

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What you said! :)

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Spot on.

I don't understand those posters who say ' oh it would be to hard to fit in in the UK because I've been living away for years'. I've been back 5 mnths after 20 years in aus and its like i've never been away. Amy change has been for the better and we're already better off and enjoying life more that is possible down under.

moral: always listen to strangers on planes, especially when they've been there and done that:)

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It's nice to see when people don't regret moving back.

I personally will have the opposite attitude about the weather. I think the summer in Florida is more brutal than the winters in England. Some days, you go outside after being in the air conditioning, and it's very hard to breathe because it's so hot and humid. At least if you're cold you can put a jumper on. Here, if you're hot, unless you go into a building with AC, there's no relief. :(

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Hey, E, wondered where you'd been!

What a great story. I think one of the keys to settking back into the UK is if you move back to somewhere you already have roots in, and you still have good friends and/or family still there. If you also don't have many ties (family/friends) in the States, it also makes moving back easier.

Scotland is geographically so much more diverse and dramatic than FL, too. Flat, flat, flat. :(

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Phew, that explains why I feel I never want to go back to the UK. I'm just younger than the old codgers on this board.
It must be especially hard for you Leslie :lol:

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I understand both points of view; everyone's situation is so different.

Moving back after many years to an area of the UK you don't know, with no friends or family (especially if it's because they have died) can be a very isolating and sad experience. I'm glad that it worked out right for you, but I don't think your personal experience discounts what others have gone through or believe about the difficulties of moving back.

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that's the thing about going back home i've always found, it's like i've never been away :) good to hear all is going well del boy :thumbup:

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I thought that Leslie is 'merican born and bred?

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Just lucky I guess, particularly as I've moved back to Co Durham where Ive never lived before (being originally from Brighton) and have no family left in the UK or friends in the area.:)

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She is and lucky for him I don't think she comes into this forum. :eek:

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You are very fortunate. I spent 4 years away and came back feeling as though I was an alien from another planet so I am pleased it worked out for you.

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So did I, initially the first 3 I didn't, then 9 years later I did. The more I live in other cultures I find it moreso, probably I'm becoming a foreginer.:lol: It is interesting viewing your own country through the eyes of a stranger when you return and seeing how many foreigners would see your nationality, especially if you haven't been around any Brits during the time you had been away.

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When I returned from the US I was glad to be home because it was such a bad overseas experience. However bad the experience was though it had changed me and made me realise that england was no longer home to me and we had to plan our escape route as soon as. Didn't stop homesickness striking my first 4 months in Canada though. When we returned from Canada it was plan the escape again and when I left England 2 years ago I swore I would never return and it is a promise I plan to keep.

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So your moves have been UK to US to UK to Canada to UK to Oz? If so, you have me beat! UK to Bahamas/US to UK to US to UK (do the words ping-pong come to mind?). And now I'm mulling over the pros and cons of a permanent move back to the US (job opportunities and immigration officials permitting), because if I stay here I'll be flat broke until retirement and long after.

Do you think Oz is long-term for you? And how did all those moves mess with your head? There are days when mine feels like it is spinning at 100 mph.

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Where do you think you will be really happy DR? I think ping ponging is easier when we are younger and get harder as we get older as time isn't on our side. I found moving around made me very unsettled for a while. I worked it out that I moved 12 times in Oz whilst I was there and lived in 4 States once I stopped travelling, and have moved 6 times since living in Spain. Now I've brought my house, it has grounded me more and I feel a bit more settled, although still get itchy feet now and then which I compensate with travelling for work. But maybe you need to get back to USA and make it your final home if you're not totally happy in UK. I dreaded in getting stranded there, especially when exchange rates were bad. Isn't the dollar low in comparison to UK, so might be a good time to go back there?

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Really? I didn't realize that, explains a lot though :D

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I thought she was French:confused:

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I trust you will be renouncing your British citizenship then?

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No, why should I. I am proud to be English just don't want to live there.

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My moves just reiterated that I didn't want to live in England. I know everywhere else in the world has its problems but they didn't affect me in the way they did when I lived in England. We did intend going back to Canada and are just about to have our meds for our PR application. We only intended coming to Australia to wait. We have since settled here very well and don't want to move and are awaiting our PR applications to be processed here. The Canada ones are a belt and braces type of thing just in case we don't get PR here in Australia. Good luck DR, it is a hard decision to make for sure.

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:p

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Well, that's the million dollar question. I do try to work through how I felt when I was there, how I've felt when I am here, pros and cons, etc. It messes with my head so much that I almost have to save that kind of thing for weekends so I can try to clear my head before the next work week! :o

I certainly didn't leave the US because I didn't like living there. Particularly in TN, I really, really enjoyed my life. I rode my bike hundreds of miles a month with a huge group of great people, I love Nashville (was 30 mins drive from there), love the TN countryside, financially is very easy there, etc.

The answer to the question varies depending on the frame of mind I am in (see next set of comments re: age). When I am in a good frame of mind, I can handle the prospect of applying for jobs, visas, GC, moving, being in a non-permanent status for a few years, etc. When I am not in a good frame of mind, I aks myself can I handle all the stress involved and start beating myself up with "Well if you'd just stayed in TN in 2000, you'd have PR and maybe even USC by now"

I hear you. What was an exhilirating adventure becomes a stressful, worrying experience. The other two age factors for me are (a) health care and implications of a major health problem, and (b) closer to retirement, financial decisions have a much bigger impact (particularly bad ones).

Yes, if I count up all my house moves, it goes something like this:

Bahamas: 3 different houses, and about 20 short- to medium-term housesits.
Massachusetts: 4 houses in 2 years.
Georgia: 4 houses in 4 years.
Tennessee: 2 houses in 3 and half years.
Scotland: 2 houses in 1 year.
North Carolina: 1 house in 5 and half years
UK: Two places (Wales and Scotland) and 2 houses in 1 year.

Anyway, the short answer to your question is "I still don't know"
I think I'm getting a headache ... :(

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That is nice that he is settling into a retirement and he has a family and having sold his house the money to afford to fly back to the USA to see his friends. I think that it is entirely wrong that he should deprive a poor and needy of the opportunity for subsidised housing. Knowing the way things are he would have to have declared his funds and I wonder what he acually did say.

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That's an interesting thought. Selling a retirement home in the US may not yield much cash in UK terms, and of course the money may still be held in the US, therefore not showing up in a UK statement of finances. Difficult to assume he's pulling a fast one, though, without knowing the details of his situation. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people getting long-term gov't assistance in the UK who don't deserve it, but that's one of the weaknesses of the system.

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Good reply and well said - selling a retirement home in USA now will yield very little. Agree that there are underserving causes too. As you hint - my speculation is not an analysis or set of facts.

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well in that case don't even consider moving anywhere and wasting more money...you will be penniless before you even retire! i do feel sorry for you, at least i do know where home is although i'm not back there full time yet.

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My problem is actually more to do with "Can I afford to live in the UK?" than being unsure of how I feel about the UK. Certainly, it's been a challenge adjusting to my new lifestyle in the UK, and I get homesick for the US regularly (but then I also would get homesick for the UK when I lived in the US). But my main problem is money, specifically: UK = 25-year mortgage of $2,200 a month, not much spare cash ever again; US = $525 mortgage per month and ability to pay off within a few years at most, and lots of spare cash left over every month.

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well then, you'll have to move back if you can't afford the uk unless you cut your cloth dramatically.
can you take in a lodger and rent a room out?

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Spot on. I loathed summers and most of the spring back in Atlanta all of my adult life (for some reason it wasn't so bad when I was a kid). I'll take the mild Welsh winters and the cool rainy summers any day of the week over the heat and humidity and the bugs of the American South. I know ya'll (as in Brits) always seem to be seeking the sun..........As an American I just want cool shade.:lol:

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I never give the weather a thought when I moved...I find I'm not such an out doors person since moving to the USA..too humid in summer...to cold in winter...

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I'm with you all the way on that. It's 5:30 p.m, and I've been trying to get outside all day to try and get some weeding done before my farewell party tomorrow (yay). But it's so damn hot and humid -- and it's September!!!!! Disgusting. Oh well, off to douse myself in mosquito repellent (something else I won't miss) and into the jungle. Give me a shady rainy garden any day.

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How did a thread about returning home after 50 years become a weather thread within four posts????

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Stream of consciousness at 11 p.m.

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How many Welsh winters have you done Scout ?

I can understand your comments about excessive heat and humidity but must admit that it's the welsh winters that have driven me to Oz.

I know it's shallow but I absolutely hated the weeks of solid rain. I've just done my first Melbourne winter and have loved the fact that I've been able to walk my dogs every day (without them getting wet and smelly).

The only irony now is that I'm worried about the lack of water !!! ;)

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Every time I dry off the muddy dog when we get back from a walk, she invariably walks through the kitchen to the hallway (cream-colored paint on the walls of course) and has a good shake. I've given up trying to clean it off and now I have cream and brown polka-dotted walls up to about 2 feet from the ground. :o

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Just two fulltime winters so far.........with trips over every winter since 2001. People I talk to don't seem to believe how cold it can get in Atlanta since it is in the American South......but Atlanta's winters overall seem to be much colder than Welsh winters (I'm near Cardiff). My husband could never get used to Atlanta's cold winters. I think the Gulf Stream really benefits us with the milder temps in the winter here.

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Snap !

I used to have those as well.

The other thing I learnt is that carpet and dogs do not mix - the smell just sinks in and won't come out !

Looking at Scout's reply though I wouldn't have minded if Wales had been colder - I love walking in a frosted landscape. What I hated was that any 'snow' only seems to last about 3 hours and then turns to a horrible brown slush, again definitely not condusive to clean dogs.

Now all I have to worry about are the snakes, heartworm and ticks :(