NC Penguin

This site is about a person's "redneck neighbors". Don't forget to look at the accompanying pictures too!

http://www.knology.net/~carlos/redneck.htm

FlyergirlUK

Blimey and I thought our neighbour was bad!!!

That site's hysterical though.

syllk

That's hilarious...I'm in pain with the laughter!

Ash UK/US

OMG its my neighbours :scared: OK maybe not but our new neighbours who have already earned themselves the name 'the hicks' seem very similar except for the home improvement.

Ash

Big Vern

I spent four years living next to this guy's UK relations in Leeds - right down to the basketball hoop screwed to the wall ten feet from the bedroom window of our terrace house!

Not only did I have a knockdown fight with Cujo's red-eyed half-rottweiller half coyote British cousin - I came off best cos I was holding a shovel - but we had the whole thing with the fence building / house maintenance / rockery building in the middle of the night. We used to call him Incapability Brown.

They also used to have the 2am Karaoke parties - remember I said it was a terrace house, the walls must have been a quarter inch thick cos you could hear everyone else joining in too...

Of course, being England there was no point in calling the cops. The best suggession I got from them was to ask the council to install a sound meter!

Needless to say we finally had enough and moved. We had to arrange house viewings when we knew that the family from Hades were out in case the prospective buyer cought site of them. One look at him, his wife and their drooling idiot son (age 8) and they'd have been down the street faster than Ben Johnson after a CVS van....

My sympathies are with the guy who runs the website cos we've been there, but it made me smile all the same...

Englishmum

[QUOTE=Big Vern

Needless to say we finally had enough and moved. We had to arrange house viewings when we knew that the family from Hades were out in case the prospective buyer cought site of them. One look at him, his wife and their drooling idiot son (age 8) and they'd have been down the street faster than Ben Johnson after a CVS van....

My sympathies are with the guy who runs the website cos we've been there, but it made me smile all the same...[/QUOTE]


It reminds me of where my sister lived before she moved. The next door neighbours ran an Irish social club (4 adults lived there) and used to get home in the early hours of the morning. They always let their Yorkshire terrier out in the back garden to relieve itself and the damn dog would be yapping away morning, noon and night. Whenever I visited her I would sleep in the back bedroom and would regularly be awakened by the high-pitched yapping at 2am...it was almost like torture but at least I was only on short visits there! Another problem was with four adults living next door, they had a car each and never bothered to put even one of them in their garage at the back of the house. It drove my sister nuts trying to park her car outside her own house ....but overall they got on well with them so didn't want to fall out by complaining.

However, when my sister put her house on the market, she took great care to arrange viewings when her neighbours weren't around....but in the end she did ask the neighbours to keep the dog in when they were showing prospective buyers around!

Hasn't the law changed in England and Wales where you have to admit that there have been problems with the neighbours when you sell a house? I've heard that you can be sued if the new owners move in and find out that one of the reasons you have moved is because of disputes with the neighbours?

Duncs

Thats funny. Nice to hear the cops actually did something its definately one area where Britain can learn something. I had a problem with a neighbour myself a few years back. He played loud music at 2am/3am and when asked nicely just said **** off of course. Cops gave me the usual not much we can do crap. Watched him a while realised he was trading drugs out the house so i simply chatted to a karate club mate who worked in the drugs squad and next time he had nice drug party he was raided. HA. Bastard got time and evicted by the owner who crapped himself about the damage in the house when he finally came up to look. Still that will teach him to wake me up.

As for Mr Redneck. The assault weapons ban expires soon so watch this space.

CitySimon

Prior to moving to NY we lived in a partially privatized council estate in Preston.

We owned a first floor apartment above a guy who can only really be described as a complete smack head.


I'll list a few of the greater events in this guys resume:

- Each year, on the Queens birthday, he would march up and down his back garden with an air-rifle over his shoulder while playing WWII music (ie. "Its a long way to tipperary!", "Hanging up the washing on the seigfried line!", ...etc...) very loud through his council provided speakers.

- Every Sunday pm, at about 10pm, his buddies would come round from the pub and have a kareoke party until the early hours of the morning (remember I said I was living above him).

- I once dropped a pan in the kitchen and the guy had the nerve to come up and tell me to keep the noice down.

- One day I stamped on the floor to get him to turn his music down (Elvis P, always Elvis P). He turned it down and nothing more was said until ..... two weeks later our neighbours son challenged my wife on the stairs while going down from our flat. He was absolutely smashed out of his head and proceeded to accuse us of playing our music too loud that morning (we had only woken up at 12:30). When I challenged him about this, he apologized and said something along the lines of "may god bless you and all the little apples in the sky"!!!!!!! before nearly falling back down to his apartment.

- He had a caravan in his parking space at the front of his apartment. When he decided that he was too old for caravanning, he told the local gang "If you can break into it, you can have it!!". Naturally, we got no sleep that night as they proceeded to demolish the interiors of their newly aquired property.

- When the guy sobered up (about a week later) he realised what had happened to his prized caravan and decided to take it back by force. Armed with a camera, he started taking pictures of the kids (who had been living in the caravan for several days). The kids legged it and returned with their parents and elder brothers. A small riot broke out while the parents accused our neighbour of being a paedophile (sp). The police arrived and did.... nothing! That night the elder brothers returned and set fire to the caravan! The guy was passed out again due to god knows what! The caravan sat on the drive way for a week (we were trying to sell our house to move over to America at the time, we actually had people pull into the street to see the house and pull straight back out again when they saw the state of the street)

Eventually, we had to pay to have the caravan removed and scrapped.

We sold the apartment about 2 weeks later and have never looked back!!!


I challenge anybody to try and beat that!

g1ant

This worked for a friend of mine.

1) Buy a drum machine.

2) Set it to pound out a repeating rythmn

3) Set the volume to 11.

4) Go to Benidorn for two weeks.

when he got back the neighbours from hell were on his doorstep begging him to turn it off.

joto

The flat below us was rented out to some students. They had a very loud party one night (worse than usual). We asked them several times to put the music down. They did for about 5 minutes, then we had to call the police. The music went down for about 10 minutes, then it was as bad as ever. This was about 2am. We decided to put our speakers face down on the floor and play bagpipe music full blast the rest of the night. A student came up to us the next morning and said the noise kept them up after their party. We just said, to bad for you, now you know how it feels. Luckily they moved out shortly after. We didn't know a bithday gift (the bagpipe record) from an elderly aunt would come in useful.

Jan Alaska

I'm never going to complain about our neighbours again

Franklin

Hey Simon, you lived in Preston. Kool!

I got a master in biotechnology from University of Central Lancashire in Preston (was called Lancashire Polytechnic). The campus is sort of spread out around the downtown area; I lodged for a while almost next to the big roundabout next to many of the college buildings (spent most of my time in Preston in the Foster Building and the Library up a slight hill above the big roundabout and next to a church (come design department)). Did research assignment in Daresbury (near Warrington, the saddest most awful town I have had the misfortune to reside in).

I liked Preston, I wouldn't want to settle there, but was happy to lodge there for a while. Teamed up with a local lad who was a fanatical 2CV and Citroen Diane enthusiast (I had a 2CV and swapped it for a Citroen Diane, the Diane had a smaller engine, 400cc but was faster than the "more powerful" 2CV with its 600cc engine, but naff aerodynamics, also the 400cc engine produced a better purr sound), I helped out for a short time as an amateur mechanic he had a collection of 2CVs and Citroen Dianes ... helped out with a 2CV modified as a 2CV racer ... we took it to a race track near Edinburgh in Scotland; interesting journey, we spent an hour or so in Lockerbie doing last minute tuning and putting race numbers on the car. We had a problem at the race track, started a lap after the other cars but if my memory serves me right we didn’t come in last (perhaps there was a retirement, we finished the race, I think) . Later went with the same Preston guys to a 2CV bash in Susten Pashoe in Switzerland, not too far from Interlaken (excuse my spelling). I still remember a German 2CV fanatic telling me around a log fire that, “All Englanders do is drink beer and live in council houses�, I remember quickly adding, “But they beat the living daylights out of you didn’t they!� His beer-muddled brain couldn’t process a rational reply.

tinaflorida

Yet more evidence pointing to the fact that everyone is somehow connected to Preston. LOL

LOL I did this once. When I moved outof my flat in Dartford, the last night there I put my speakers face down to torment my downstairs neighbour who had been keeping me up with his terribly crap rap music for three years. Sadly I didn't have bagpipe music but hopefully I annoyed him sufficiently with my very bass-heavy techno music.

CitySimon

LOL... Thanks Tina. I was just about to say that!