Sally Redux

It's like having Mr Spock (or rather Mr Logic) on board.

CAdreaming

Here in CA ive only ever had positive comments about
my accent - every single day almost without fail people ask me to keep talking - my accent is cute (its from the Boro with flat vowel sounds so who knew!) how long ive been here and people have said WELCOME!
I have indeed been made to feel really welcome once people find out im a Brit - for which Im very thankful!

So really ive had a very positive experience here in CA

Sally Redux

Are they actually listening to what you're saying?

I do find it a bit patronising, even though well-meant.

CAdreaming

im not really saying much Sally to be honest - just things like

"A 16oz dark roast please with room for cream" or poached eggs on toast - what bread do you have - and can I have grilled tomatoes on the side"


I honestly don't find it patronizing tho I can see that it might be- I feel people are genuine
Maybe its because I lived in a small out of the way town and now live tho near San Fran in a town which still has a small town feel.

Sally Redux

When I have said a few sentences about something and the person just replies, "Keep talking. I love listening to your cute accent!" it gets old for me. Fully accept it's cos I'm a grumpy git, and is more about how I feel in a place than an implicit criticism of that place itself.

CAdreaming

RoadWarriorFromLP

It's not the accent. They're just shocked to hear somebody say "please."

MMcD

No, you're not being a grumpy git (at least not over that )

When someone's an ex-pat, and they're presumably attempting to integrate themselves in a new country - a continual reminder of their apartness ("cute accent") - with every new encounter, and even after years of living here, only serves to reaffirm an eternal foreignness.

So I think your annoyance is legitimate.
There's plenty of consequence to set people apart. It's difficult to try to bridge the gap when, straight away, fixation on an accent calls attention to you as a "foreigner"

Please!
or
Puhleeeze, because "they're" not.

Sally Redux

Yes, I think that's it.

SultanOfSwing

He's got a point. I do just about all our grocery shopping/take out pickups, so I spend a lot of time in lines at stores and any instances where people have to ask for something, or are making a order separate from the checkouts, I rarely hear anyone say 'please' and the request is almost always started with "I need" or perhaps worse, "give me".

It probably happens in the UK now too, but I still find it kind of rude, myself.

CAdreaming

Never noticed this but now I will start listening for the lack of "pleases"
I shall report back!!

On another note ive decided to do a Voice Over introduction course!! there may be money in this and I have a bit of a supressed actress in me anyway dahling

SultanOfSwing

It could just be that everyone that goes to the same shops as me are just twats around here, but I do notice the lack of it.

I've often thought about doing voice overs. Never actually did anything about it though.

Sally Redux

That sounds good!

RoadWarriorFromLP

I would say that the Brits win hands down in the use of courtesy words. (Incidentally, it's one of the things that I happen to like about the UK.)

I'm not sure what happened here in the States. I often say "please" and always, always, always use some variation of "thank you," and I grew up here with the rest of 'em.

Sally Redux

I was really shocked when I first arrived; "Gimme...", "I want/need..."

I still am a bit, but I can sometimes see where you have to bark things out for clarity (a 'thank you' wouldn't come amiss though).