How do you cope with missing family, friends back in the UK and guilt?
Oct 2nd 2007, 8:48 pm
#16
Homebody
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: HOME
Posts: 23,181
Re: How do you cope with missing family, friends back in the UK and guilt?
I wonder whether all those who say they can't afford to go back make best use of air miles?
I keep switching credit cards that offer air miles as a signing on bonus, plus additional miles for every $ spent. I put every expenditure over $8 or so on cards and pay them off at the end of the month. Plus my Safeway card is also linked to an air miles account, so more miles.
It all adds up!
I keep switching credit cards that offer air miles as a signing on bonus, plus additional miles for every $ spent. I put every expenditure over $8 or so on cards and pay them off at the end of the month. Plus my Safeway card is also linked to an air miles account, so more miles.
It all adds up!
Oct 2nd 2007, 8:52 pm
#17
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 6,669
Re: How do you cope with missing family, friends back in the UK and guilt?
I'm making plans to move to Portugal EM, but will be spending a load of time in the UK because the kids will be there. I'm hoping to be there in a year or two's time
I will not ever go back to S.A.
I will not ever go back to S.A.
Oct 2nd 2007, 9:06 pm
#18
Account Closed
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 15,019
Re: How do you cope with missing family, friends back in the UK and guilt?
I wonder whether all those who say they can't afford to go back make best use of air miles?
I keep switching credit cards that offer air miles as a signing on bonus, plus additional miles for every $ spent. I put every expenditure over $8 or so on cards and pay them off at the end of the month. Plus my Safeway card is also linked to an air miles account, so more miles.
It all adds up!
I keep switching credit cards that offer air miles as a signing on bonus, plus additional miles for every $ spent. I put every expenditure over $8 or so on cards and pay them off at the end of the month. Plus my Safeway card is also linked to an air miles account, so more miles.
It all adds up!
Oct 2nd 2007, 9:10 pm
#19
Homebody
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: HOME
Posts: 23,181
Re: How do you cope with missing family, friends back in the UK and guilt?
B@st@rds
Oct 2nd 2007, 9:18 pm
#20
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 15,019
Re: How do you cope with missing family, friends back in the UK and guilt?
here's a good website for peeps looking into travel and mileage plans ~
http://www.flyertalk.com/
Oct 2nd 2007, 9:21 pm
#21
Senior Moment
Joined: Nov 2003
Location: NYC
Posts: 5,008
Re: How do you cope with missing family, friends back in the UK and guilt?
Its very hard. I'm an only child and guilt myself completely about leaving my parents in the UK, even though they have family around them. Mum can't fly due to medical reasons so I make the trips over, which is fair enough.
I kick myself regularly (usually every time theres an outlaw crisis - so about 3 times a week) that I left my relatively normal, help each other out, problem shared is a problem divided into 20 odd little pieces, let alone just halved bunch - who happen to adore Mrs Titchski.
Don't get me wrong, I love my Mrs dearly, just not the self obsessed, drug addled, self obsessed, petty, self obsessed bunch of twats that unfortunately share the same parents.
Yes, I'm having a bad "want to go home" day. :curse:
I kick myself regularly (usually every time theres an outlaw crisis - so about 3 times a week) that I left my relatively normal, help each other out, problem shared is a problem divided into 20 odd little pieces, let alone just halved bunch - who happen to adore Mrs Titchski.
Don't get me wrong, I love my Mrs dearly, just not the self obsessed, drug addled, self obsessed, petty, self obsessed bunch of twats that unfortunately share the same parents.
Yes, I'm having a bad "want to go home" day. :curse:
Oct 2nd 2007, 9:34 pm
#22
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Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Northern California
Posts: 872
Re: How do you cope with missing family, friends back in the UK and guilt?
same crap ........... different bucket...
Personally I would never advise moving abroad unless one or more of the following apply:
- you are absolutely sure you'll be better of and you know won't miss the UK and people back home
- you are willing and able to return if it all gets too much
- you are able to travel back as often as you need to
Personally I would never advise moving abroad unless one or more of the following apply:
- you are absolutely sure you'll be better of and you know won't miss the UK and people back home
- you are willing and able to return if it all gets too much
- you are able to travel back as often as you need to
Not my view at all - you're bound to miss something about where you lived before but you'll never know what you're missing if you don't try a move. Lot's of people don't have the chance to make the leap with a safety net in place - those that are risk averse won't do it, plenty of others will - and the only certain thing is that no-one knows which is the right choice; you might as well figure out how to make the best of the choice you make.
To the OP - taking grandkids away from grandparents is really hard - you just have to work hard at keeping them in each other's lives through letters/phone/email/pictures/video conference etc. It's not the same but you have to balance the loss against the reasons you first moved away - if the balance doesn't seem to be tilted in the right direction, then you need to think about how to address it.
Good luck!
Oct 2nd 2007, 9:53 pm
#23
Homebody
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: HOME
Posts: 23,181
Re: How do you cope with missing family, friends back in the UK and guilt?
Not my view at all - you're bound to miss something about where you lived before but you'll never know what you're missing if you don't try a move. Lot's of people don't have the chance to make the leap with a safety net in place - those that are risk averse won't do it, plenty of others will - and the only certain thing is that no-one knows which is the right choice; you might as well figure out how to make the best of the choice you make..........
Oct 2nd 2007, 9:59 pm
#24
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 6,848
Re: How do you cope with missing family, friends back in the UK and guilt?
Aha....here is an idea!
I don't really fly with American Airlines anymore as they no longer have a Newark-LHR route, very few of their flights depart from EWR as JFK is their main hub in the NY metro area and I certainly don't have a credit card affiliated with AA.
I do however have about 21,000 AA frequent flyer miles which were imminently due to expire due to inacativity. I haven't flown with AA for 3 years, but it would have been a shame to lose them.
However: it was pointed out to me that you can do online retail shopping via the AA website to buy things like flowers, office supplies, stuff from the Sharper Image and Netflix etc. As soon as one has any sort of transaction with these companies via the AA site which awards AAdvantage miles, it will re-activate ones virtually dormant mileage account.
On 11th September I purchased a bouquet of flowers via the AA website from FTD.com. (they were for a friend and were gorgeous!). I've just looked at my AAdvantage miles and they have been posted (500 miles at 10 miles to $1). I now have 21,908 AA miles......which won't expire now for another 18 months. Yippee!
(There is a special offer with 1-800 flowers.com via the AA website until 31 October.....10 miles per $1 plus a bonus of 600 miles for each additional purchase):
https://www.aa.com/apps/netSAAver/Vi...omotionContent
Here is the link to the various AA Partners:
https://www.aa.com/aa/i18nForward.do...tners/main.jsp
Here is the link to the retailers where you can order online and get AAdvantage miles (and note Elvira that you can buy wine too - agood excuse to keep those airmiles going LOL!)
https://www.aa.com/apps/AAdvantage/V...nerType=Retail
Just go to the http://www.aa.com website and log in with your AAdvantage # and password and go to their Partners link.
I think many of the airlines have these retail schemes, you just need to go to their site map to root around a bit as the info isn't always easy to find, so if one doesn't use AA there is bound to be one for say, United, Continental etc.
Hope this helps some of you!
Oct 2nd 2007, 10:00 pm
#25
Account Closed
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 202
Re: How do you cope with missing family, friends back in the UK and guilt?
Britain might not have everything, but its a sight better than most countries in the world.
Oct 2nd 2007, 10:02 pm
#26
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 202
Re: How do you cope with missing family, friends back in the UK and guilt?
Homesickness is a terrible curse ...never thought it would bother me when I first emigrated ...how wrong was that assumption 
After the second bad dose it was make or break, the wife didn't understand her sympathy had turned to anger at this point and I was just a mass of anger/frustration/desperation....
The cure .....perseverance.
Start celebrating what you do have and not bemoaning what you miss.....Its hard with family and I would guess even more so with grand kids...but instead of feeling bad about not going back to the UK, make plans for them to visit the USA.
Now ...I love my new life and rarely think about going back to the UK, no more homesickness/depression etc..... sure there are things I miss ..I always will...but life is all about today.
Lastly if I ever do feel a bit blue and think about the UK, a quick look at the local papers online soon puts me right .....all that crime and dog shit
After the second bad dose it was make or break, the wife didn't understand her sympathy had turned to anger at this point and I was just a mass of anger/frustration/desperation....The cure .....perseverance.
Start celebrating what you do have and not bemoaning what you miss.....Its hard with family and I would guess even more so with grand kids...but instead of feeling bad about not going back to the UK, make plans for them to visit the USA.
Now ...I love my new life and rarely think about going back to the UK, no more homesickness/depression etc..... sure there are things I miss ..I always will...but life is all about today.
Lastly if I ever do feel a bit blue and think about the UK, a quick look at the local papers online soon puts me right .....all that crime and dog shit
snake shit, woodpecker shit, and even gecko shit....UGH
Oct 2nd 2007, 10:14 pm
#27
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Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Northern California
Posts: 872
Re: How do you cope with missing family, friends back in the UK and guilt?
Depends on your approach to life - I know lots of people that have done exactly that with families (I'm lucky in that I didn't have to make the choice as I could afford the safety net). Some people have a more impetuous approach to life and are comfortable with having to live with the consequences. It probably has to do with what is more grating to you - mistakes you made or opportunities you missed.
Oct 2nd 2007, 11:11 pm
#28
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 202
Re: How do you cope with missing family, friends back in the UK and guilt?
Where would you go Redlippie? South Africa, Portugal or perhaps even the UK?
One of my girlfriends over here became very, very homesick. She was working very long hours for an investment bank near Wall St and was exhausted, and very lonely. It's one thing having friends but they're not flesh and blood and don't have a shared history as loved ones back home. She threw in the towel and went home to South Africa one year ago, initially to spend some chilling out time with family in Jo'burg and is now working as a waitress in a vineyard at beautiful Constantia, Cape Town....and loving it!
I've just got off the phone after talking with my mum for an hour, catching up on all the gossip. We were both having a cuppa at the same time LOL!
One of my girlfriends over here became very, very homesick. She was working very long hours for an investment bank near Wall St and was exhausted, and very lonely. It's one thing having friends but they're not flesh and blood and don't have a shared history as loved ones back home. She threw in the towel and went home to South Africa one year ago, initially to spend some chilling out time with family in Jo'burg and is now working as a waitress in a vineyard at beautiful Constantia, Cape Town....and loving it!
I've just got off the phone after talking with my mum for an hour, catching up on all the gossip. We were both having a cuppa at the same time LOL!
Cape Town is utterly cool, and the clubs at Sea Point are ace.
Oct 2nd 2007, 11:56 pm
#29
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio
Posts: 8,497
Re: How do you cope with missing family, friends back in the UK and guilt?
This is really good advice. Growing up we were always in Ohio and my grandfather was in California. He and my Dad would send cassette tapes back and forth regularly - like a letter you can listen to. It was always a treat to receive one - better than a phone call in some ways.
Oct 3rd 2007, 12:04 am
#30
MODERATOR
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Hong Kong, mostly.
Posts: 5,214
Re: How do you cope with missing family, friends back in the UK and guilt?
I wonder whether all those who say they can't afford to go back make best use of air miles?
I keep switching credit cards that offer air miles as a signing on bonus, plus additional miles for every $ spent. I put every expenditure over $8 or so on cards and pay them off at the end of the month. Plus my Safeway card is also linked to an air miles account, so more miles.
It all adds up!
I keep switching credit cards that offer air miles as a signing on bonus, plus additional miles for every $ spent. I put every expenditure over $8 or so on cards and pay them off at the end of the month. Plus my Safeway card is also linked to an air miles account, so more miles.
It all adds up!
It's a juggling act. I have about 250,000 on BA in our family account through a combination of flights, lots of credit card expenses, and other things (2 for 1 mile offers, rental cars, hotels--whatever I can). I've also got about 50,000 on a few other airlines, for those occasional flights that BA can't muster.
You need to keep tabs on them. Sometimes a mere transfer keeps your account alive, or just buying like 100 miles for $5 or something.
But in the end, when you need to go, the options are far more available with a nice collection of miles in your pocket.