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-   -   How do I know Im back in Blighty? (https://britishexpats.com/forum/usa-57/how-do-i-know-im-back-blighty-723302/)

Pistolpete2 Jul 2nd 2011 7:10 pm

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Originally Posted by Lothianlad (Post 9470879)
And any gaps in the spattered dog shit is taken up with flattened rock hard discarded chewing gum - so a pretty pavement pattern all round, really.

So all those hired local council men have plenty of work to keep them fully employed - one night spent wandering around slinging dog muck hither and thither and gobbing out spent chewing gum at the same time and then the following night clearing it all up again before a re-run the following night and so on and so on, and ably aided by the local neds and nedessed and chavs and chavettes and dog walkers of both genders all at the same time, not forgetting all the after-closing-time pissheads of both genders chucking all their empty take-away curry containers plus added vomit left right and centre just to add further flavour to the fun. Britain at its finest! :)

Thanks Lothian!

You make the third world feel like bliss.:blink:

Except our neds carry guns and knives, and use them too frequently.

We do have the trash (mountains and rivers of it) but not the vomit.

At least I'm prepared for Glasgow in early August but I may have inadvertently stepped in something well before then.

Captain Cheesestick Jul 2nd 2011 8:06 pm

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Originally Posted by Octang Frye (Post 9470890)
Do you have to be so crude? This is a family website. Faeces, excrement, even spoor would have sufficed.

You are so uncouth. I would recommend finding a finishing school. There are many in your area.

http://britishexpats.com/forum/showp...&postcount=169


Originally Posted by OCtang Frye
Yes, be that as it may, but I swear there is a penis in those shorts. Penis.

:)

Sarah Jul 2nd 2011 8:25 pm

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 
Its raining as I land in Manchester. Thats usually the tell tale sign.

Manc Jul 2nd 2011 8:32 pm

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Originally Posted by Sarah (Post 9471191)
Its raining as I land in Manchester. Thats usually the tell tale sign.

when the sun, has ceased hydrogen fusion and has to turn to Helium fusion....... the sun will expand and grow hotter by about 3 fold or so.

This in turn will devour the inner planets upto and including Venus.

On Earth if it is hasn't been swallowed up will be a charred reminant of it's former self as all life will be long forgotten and the 99% of the water will be boiled away.
























* the remaining 1% will be raining on what was Manchester.

CAdreaming Jul 2nd 2011 8:38 pm

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Originally Posted by Sarah (Post 9471191)
Its raining as I land in Manchester. Thats usually the tell tale sign.

I landed in Manchester on Wed - yep raining!!!

Pistolpete2 Jul 2nd 2011 9:19 pm

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Originally Posted by CAdreaming (Post 9471204)
I landed in Manchester on Wed - yep raining!!!

Ok late June. I recall SNOW stopping play at Old Trafford June 2nd 1975.

Could be worse!:unsure:

Since plagiarism is in vogue I recalled it being June but not the actual date which I googled.

Leslie Jul 2nd 2011 9:20 pm

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Originally Posted by Octang Frye (Post 9470890)
Do you have to be so crude? This is a family website. Faeces, excrement, even spoor would have sufficed.

You are so uncouth. I would recommend finding a finishing school. There are many in your area.

Family? Whose family exactly? :confused:

Sally Redux Jul 2nd 2011 9:21 pm

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Originally Posted by Leslie (Post 9471235)
Family? Whose family exactly? :confused:

Manson?

Lothianlad Jul 2nd 2011 9:35 pm

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Originally Posted by Octang Frye (Post 9470890)
Do you have to be so crude? This is a family website. Faeces, excrement, even spoor would have sufficed.

You are so uncouth. I would recommend finding a finishing school. There are many in your area.

Why so precious? :confused: You're obviously referring to one single offending word in my graphically correct description of present day urban Britain, a legacy of the last ****** (does that pass muster then?) Liebour Government if ever there was one during which social and moral standards and codes of public behaviour plummetted faster than a ten tonne brick thrown from the ramparts of Edinburgh Castle.

My "offending" post #8 was timed at 4.59pm (16:49pm in proper money)
Check out post #2 timed at 4.46pm (16.46 in real time).

Any comment forthcoming on "family shows and uncouth code of conduct" there then?

As for "finishing schools" in this city - the unlamented Tony B'liar attended one of those, one of the most prestigious in the UK. It didn't do much for him either, did it?

Manc Jul 2nd 2011 9:36 pm

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Originally Posted by Lothianlad (Post 9471252)
Why so precious? :confused: You're obviously referring to one single offending word in my graphically correct description

no he's obviously not,

shut up again you tit.

Sally Redux Jul 2nd 2011 9:38 pm

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Originally Posted by Lothianlad (Post 9471252)
Why so precious? :confused: You're obviously referring to one single offending word in my graphically correct description of present day urban Britain, a legacy of the last ****** (does that pass muster then?) Liebour Government if ever there was one during which social and moral standards and codes of public behaviour plummetted faster than a ten tonne brick thrown from the ramparts of Edinburgh Castle.

My "offending" post #8 was timed at 4.59pm (16:49pm in proper money)
Check out post #2 timed at 4.46pm (16.46 in real time).

Any comment forthcoming on "family shows and uncouth code of conduct" there then?

As for "finishing schools" in this city - the unlamented Tony B'liar attended one of those, one of the most prestigious in the UK. It didn't do much for him either, did it?

The Labour government caused dog shit on the streets? :rofl:

You are a total joke.

N1cky Jul 2nd 2011 9:41 pm

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Originally Posted by lisa67 (Post 9471048)
Things that drove me completely insane on my most recent trip back to the UK:
Dog poop
Gum on pavement
Traffic, traffic and more traffic
The smell of pee when walking past bus shelters etc.
The rain (it rained for 12 days out of 14)
The miserable faces on the shop assistants
Crap hotel/pub food
Having to pay to park everywhere you go

I think that's about it...rant over;)

After spending the last 2 years on BE I was all set for this on our recent trip back to England, first time we had been back since leaving nearly 4 years ago.

I didn't see any dog poop on the streets or in the parks we visited and there were plenty of dogs around.

I didn't see any gum on the floor, althouh my husband did step in some on the shopping trip to the posh outdoor mall at Stanford we visited prior to our trip

Traffic was heavy, but not as aggresive as I remembered

Shop assistants were really lovely everywhere I went, customer service has definately picked up but hasn't got to the stupid American stage of hovering on your shoulder.

Every meal we had was good, inluding the pub food althouh I did get stung for paying for breakfast in the hotel when I thought it was free:frown: Sausages were lovely though, and HP on the table:)

I was also expecting loads of graffiti, broken glass, drunks in town on a night, teenage gangs. I witnessed none of this and our home city where we were staying is a fairly common place, certainly on the lower end of the posh meter.

Lothianlad Jul 2nd 2011 9:41 pm

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Originally Posted by Pistolpete2 (Post 9471232)
Ok late June. I recall SNOW stopping play at Old Trafford June 2nd 1975.

I think you mean the cricket at Buxton, Derbyshire, which is almost 300m ASL anyway. On that day 05/06/75 5cm of snow lying on the pitch prevented any play, just three weeks short of Midsummer Day and the Summer Solstice. Less than two weeks later afternoon shade temperatures reached 34C in many parts of the UK.

Lothianlad Jul 2nd 2011 10:06 pm

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Originally Posted by Sally Redux (Post 9471260)
The Labour government caused dog shit on the streets? :rofl:

You are a total joke.

In effect, yes, indirectly they did, taking everything into account during Liebour's irresponsibly profligate and highly wasteful hand over fist tenure of office during which anti social behaviour spread like an outbreak of bubonic plague and ASBOs became a badge of honour. :D

Actually, I was going a wee bit OTT over the - now here I'm being exceedingly polite so as not to cause offence - canine faeces in public places issue. I nip over to France (and the Netherlands) fairly frequently and dog pooped streets are quite common there, especially in Paris, and I think the problem is even worse over there. In Germany, Switzerland, Luxembourg and Austria though you can almost eat your dinner straight off the pavements without being all that concerned.

All UK local authorities provide special depositories for the disposal of doggy doings and many people use them. Some clearly do not. Likewise they provide ordinary litter bins clearly marked as such and again many people use them in the manner intended. Some clearly do not.

Others assume that they are simply there to be sat on while they scoff their curry takeaways and cans of Stellas or cod and chips and mushies and once these are consumed merely decorate the surrounds of the said litter bins up to a radius of about 20m with the left over containers, tins and wrappers in ample profusion.

Pistolpete2 Jul 2nd 2011 10:43 pm

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Originally Posted by Lothianlad (Post 9471288)
In effect, yes, indirectly they did, taking everything into account during Liebour's irresponsibly profligate and highly wasteful hand over fist tenure of office during which anti social behaviour spread like an outbreak of bubonic plague and ASBOs became a badge of honour. :D

All UK local authorities provide special depositories for the disposal of doggy doings and many people use them. Some clearly do not. Likewise they provide ordinary litter bins clearly marked as such and again many people use them in the manner intended. Some clearly do not.

Others assume that they are simply there to be sat on while they scoff their curry takeaways and cans of Stellas or cod and chips and mushies and once these are consumed merely decorate the surrounds of the said litter bins up to a radius of about 20m with the left over containers, tins and wrappers in ample profusion.

Anti-social behaviour and littering is supposedly an indication of a significant element of society which has ceased caring. Graffiti, arguably is also your badge of honour, along with right of passage gained by initiation into gang membership.

When then did the UK decline to the level that we now no openly observe in these elements of anti-social behaviour? Not that there is much room left for further graffiti unless councils maintain graffiti removal schemes. I'm sure it didn't start the moment John Major stopped checking.

Did people care before? They didn't much when I left in 1976. This is a British and probably more so English problem and not one to stick to any political group. The UK has been a leader, most certainly in Europe, in negative characteristics of society such as divorce, absent dads, drug and alcohol abuse and teenage pregnancies, characteristics which the world over come up as the beginnings of Trouble.

Fortunately/Unfortunately Brits have kept their noses to the grindstone in spite of the abuses dished out by Corporate UK in recent decades in order to keep up with the increases in the cost of living, buy and pay for a house and pay increased taxes. Family life has suffered with this and the kid backlash contributes to the problems outlined above.

Believe me, it gives me no pleasure to have to recognise these facts when considering some sort of return.


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