How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

...I can hear the rag n bone man crying out "Ragbone" coming up our street.
O to be in England...:rofl:

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Don't forget that suddenly every inch of pavement wherever you go will be spattered in dog shit. It almost seems as if the local council has hired a man to wander the night chucking it all over the place.

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Oh that joy is yet to come!!! only been away 3 months so nowts changed - except maybe me feeling like America is becoming home...:thumbup:

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Where are you? I havent heard that since 1960 something!

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

:wub: made me think of this!!

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Middlesbro - its a couple of men and a horse and cart!! We do have hot water and central heating up here tho :rofl:

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Too funny!

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

And any gaps in the spattered dog shit is taken up with flattened rock hard discarded chewing gum - so a pretty pavement pattern all round, really.

So all those hired local council men have plenty of work to keep them fully employed - one night spent wandering around slinging dog muck hither and thither and gobbing out spent chewing gum at the same time and then the following night clearing it all up again before a re-run the following night and so on and so on, and ably aided by the local neds and nedessed and chavs and chavettes and dog walkers of both genders all at the same time, not forgetting all the after-closing-time pissheads of both genders chucking all their empty take-away curry containers plus added vomit left right and centre just to add further flavour to the fun. Britain at its finest! :)

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Do you have to be so crude? This is a family website. Faeces, excrement, even spoor would have sufficed.

You are so uncouth. I would recommend finding a finishing school. There are many in your area.

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Britain - where Hyacinth Bucket and Vicky Pollard are neighbours.

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Not any more - Dave Cameron had all the poo-spreaders made redundant along with the librarians and care workers as part of his "big society" program. Might explain why I only saw two dog turds during my recent trip to London (and I was keeping an eye out for them).

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

How can one have both ASBOs and a "big society"? :blink:

Mind you I don't think this country is in much better shape.

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Things that drove me completely insane on my most recent trip back to the UK:
Dog poop
Gum on pavement
Traffic, traffic and more traffic
The smell of pee when walking past bus shelters etc.
The rain (it rained for 12 days out of 14)
The miserable faces on the shop assistants
Crap hotel/pub food
Having to pay to park everywhere you go

I think that's about it...rant over;)

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

sorry to continue taking this thread off-topic ... at least there are pavements, pubs and public transport - hence the bus shelters. Here you have to take your life in your hands and walk down the road and hope not to be hit by some outsize SUV.

By the way, if you want dog poop everywhere - go to Paris - filthy city!

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Per my ex-pat husband: Taxi drivers who know where they're goin':) People who understand what you're saying when you speak to them:fingerscrossed: nobody saying "you're not from around here, are ya'?" :p and the sound of a milk float going by in the early hours of the morning with the clinking of bottles. Always knew that nothing drastic had happened overnight and the world was still in one piece. Hearing the announcement that the "train is delayed" due to "the wrong type of snow" or leaves on the line or the late running of a previous service! The curse of the final bell at closing time - the smell of diesel fuel mixed with the scent of rape seed in bloom in the spring. And being told there's an 8-12 week wait for your new 3 piece suite.;)

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Thanks Lothian!

You make the third world feel like bliss.:blink:

Except our neds carry guns and knives, and use them too frequently.

We do have the trash (mountains and rivers of it) but not the vomit.

At least I'm prepared for Glasgow in early August but I may have inadvertently stepped in something well before then.

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

http://britishexpats.com/forum/showp...&postcount=169

:)

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Its raining as I land in Manchester. Thats usually the tell tale sign.

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

when the sun, has ceased hydrogen fusion and has to turn to Helium fusion....... the sun will expand and grow hotter by about 3 fold or so.

This in turn will devour the inner planets upto and including Venus.

On Earth if it is hasn't been swallowed up will be a charred reminant of it's former self as all life will be long forgotten and the 99% of the water will be boiled away.
























* the remaining 1% will be raining on what was Manchester.

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

I landed in Manchester on Wed - yep raining!!!

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Ok late June. I recall SNOW stopping play at Old Trafford June 2nd 1975.

Could be worse!:unsure:

Since plagiarism is in vogue I recalled it being June but not the actual date which I googled.

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Family? Whose family exactly? :confused:

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Manson?

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Why so precious? :confused: You're obviously referring to one single offending word in my graphically correct description of present day urban Britain, a legacy of the last ****** (does that pass muster then?) Liebour Government if ever there was one during which social and moral standards and codes of public behaviour plummetted faster than a ten tonne brick thrown from the ramparts of Edinburgh Castle.

My "offending" post #8 was timed at 4.59pm (16:49pm in proper money)
Check out post #2 timed at 4.46pm (16.46 in real time).

Any comment forthcoming on "family shows and uncouth code of conduct" there then?

As for "finishing schools" in this city - the unlamented Tony B'liar attended one of those, one of the most prestigious in the UK. It didn't do much for him either, did it?

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

no he's obviously not,

shut up again you tit.

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

The Labour government caused dog shit on the streets? :rofl:

You are a total joke.

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

After spending the last 2 years on BE I was all set for this on our recent trip back to England, first time we had been back since leaving nearly 4 years ago.

I didn't see any dog poop on the streets or in the parks we visited and there were plenty of dogs around.

I didn't see any gum on the floor, althouh my husband did step in some on the shopping trip to the posh outdoor mall at Stanford we visited prior to our trip

Traffic was heavy, but not as aggresive as I remembered

Shop assistants were really lovely everywhere I went, customer service has definately picked up but hasn't got to the stupid American stage of hovering on your shoulder.

Every meal we had was good, inluding the pub food althouh I did get stung for paying for breakfast in the hotel when I thought it was free:frown: Sausages were lovely though, and HP on the table:)

I was also expecting loads of graffiti, broken glass, drunks in town on a night, teenage gangs. I witnessed none of this and our home city where we were staying is a fairly common place, certainly on the lower end of the posh meter.

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

I think you mean the cricket at Buxton, Derbyshire, which is almost 300m ASL anyway. On that day 05/06/75 5cm of snow lying on the pitch prevented any play, just three weeks short of Midsummer Day and the Summer Solstice. Less than two weeks later afternoon shade temperatures reached 34C in many parts of the UK.

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

In effect, yes, indirectly they did, taking everything into account during Liebour's irresponsibly profligate and highly wasteful hand over fist tenure of office during which anti social behaviour spread like an outbreak of bubonic plague and ASBOs became a badge of honour. :D

Actually, I was going a wee bit OTT over the - now here I'm being exceedingly polite so as not to cause offence - canine faeces in public places issue. I nip over to France (and the Netherlands) fairly frequently and dog pooped streets are quite common there, especially in Paris, and I think the problem is even worse over there. In Germany, Switzerland, Luxembourg and Austria though you can almost eat your dinner straight off the pavements without being all that concerned.

All UK local authorities provide special depositories for the disposal of doggy doings and many people use them. Some clearly do not. Likewise they provide ordinary litter bins clearly marked as such and again many people use them in the manner intended. Some clearly do not.

Others assume that they are simply there to be sat on while they scoff their curry takeaways and cans of Stellas or cod and chips and mushies and once these are consumed merely decorate the surrounds of the said litter bins up to a radius of about 20m with the left over containers, tins and wrappers in ample profusion.

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Anti-social behaviour and littering is supposedly an indication of a significant element of society which has ceased caring. Graffiti, arguably is also your badge of honour, along with right of passage gained by initiation into gang membership.

When then did the UK decline to the level that we now no openly observe in these elements of anti-social behaviour? Not that there is much room left for further graffiti unless councils maintain graffiti removal schemes. I'm sure it didn't start the moment John Major stopped checking.

Did people care before? They didn't much when I left in 1976. This is a British and probably more so English problem and not one to stick to any political group. The UK has been a leader, most certainly in Europe, in negative characteristics of society such as divorce, absent dads, drug and alcohol abuse and teenage pregnancies, characteristics which the world over come up as the beginnings of Trouble.

Fortunately/Unfortunately Brits have kept their noses to the grindstone in spite of the abuses dished out by Corporate UK in recent decades in order to keep up with the increases in the cost of living, buy and pay for a house and pay increased taxes. Family life has suffered with this and the kid backlash contributes to the problems outlined above.

Believe me, it gives me no pleasure to have to recognise these facts when considering some sort of return.

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

You're a halfwit and that's being generous.

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Glad you had a good time. I wouldn't go back if it wasn't for visiting friends and relatives.

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Me neither.

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Oh god, this made my Sunday morning start with a smile,( without english bacon:() thank your hubby!

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

I have been travelling back and forth to the UK primarily early on to visit family and friends since the early eighties. Back then when visiting I would naturally stay with them all in turn. Of course this meant travelling significant distances in a rented car and ending up returning to work after the "vacation" more knackered than refreshed but at least I only really had the plane ticket and some meals to cover, plus my contribution.:thumbup:

If you are no longer primarily visiting family and friends, traveling yourself as a family with kids, this creates a whole new ball-game of expense. B&Bs are really expensive IF they have family rooms and if you have a separate room for the kids it is typically dearer still so I have not gone that route yet. The ONLY way we make a go of it now is by booking family room specials at Premier Inn and Travelodge (where kids eat free at breakfast) at heavily discounted (non-refundable) prices and build the vacation for the most part around the ability to do that. Renting a car outside of weekend specials also now adds up so rail travel on a railcard (thankyou thetrainline.com) is the typical order of the day.

The visiting family bit now has to be far more carefully staged.

Even with the extra effort put into getting cheap deals, the whole vacation is still eye-wateringly expensive, mainly due to the cost of eating/drinking out since there are only so many picnics in rooms with items bought at the Tesco deli counter or the local Indian/Tandoori one can swing. Access to these delicacies has to be thought about when booking hotel rooms and we are now pretty good at this.

At least we are talking $1.60 right now but at $2.00 to the pound as back in late 2007 and no pressure on prices things were REALLY grim.

I know I'm back in Blighty when the wallet haemorrhages cash.

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Adams?

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

I've just spoored myself. It still smells like shit though.

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Does your fucking head in doesn't it?

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

very generous..

Re: How do I know Im back in Blighty?
 

Must be a special 4th of July promotion.