lals

I have decided to post this under a different name so that when I feel better and not such a sad twat, I can pretend that I never said this - hopefully the mods wont blow my cover (please)!

I have been in the US since November last year, my husband got a new job and so we came over with my son. I had a baby in June. My mum came over to visit this week for my son's birthday and she has gone today and I am sooooo sad - I just can't shake it, I feel so homesick. My husband travels a lot with work and so I came home to an empty house and just felt like I was the loneliest person on earth.

I want to go home but we can't. Anyone else (particularly the mums) feel like this ever? Tell me it gets better. I always thought of myself as someone who would love to travel and have new opportunities but I am bloody miserable. I have seen lots of really supportive stuff in here in the past and so would really like a bit of a 'gee-up' please.

Anyone for a G & T at my place?.......

Thanks

sibsie

Soz to hear you're feeling down. My parents were just over and I was sad to see them go. I haven't been back to England in years and I'm starting to miss it now.

My hubby is away at least 3 days a week and I find the best thing is to have as many hobbies or outside interests as you can. Are there any mother baby type social things in your area? Are you planning to go back for a visit over Christmas?

CHELY2469

Hi,
was sooo glad to find your post. I only arrived here in May with my husband but already like you I am so homesick and miserable. I have been to the U.S many times before and so I truly believed that to live here would be easy. So far though it isn't seeming like the adventure I imagined it would be. I am unable to work and so am at home all day, bored for the most part, and please don't think I am ungrateful for what I have here, but I feel so low and want to go home but can't as my husband is active duty airforce. I don't know about you but I am missing things I never though would be that important to me...foods especially but just the culture and I often go to bed dreaming of places I used to visit, ridiculous I know.
Anyway I would love someone to chat to, so if you feel like it say hi.

Celtic_Angel

I'd love to join you make mine a frozen margarita

Don't worry , yes it will get better! you naturally feel like this cos your mum just left!
are you a stay-home-mom? I'll assume so, it can be tough , I've been though all this too, is your son at school or running around the house like a banshee? tell you what helped me, seeing as you're on your 'puter check out M.O.M.S and also M.O.P.S

they both groups of well ...moms lol and they may not all be feeling homesick but they all need to get out , get the kids out and enjoy adult company

Hope this helps...............oh and plenty of salt with that margarita please

lals

Salt and drinkin just doesn't go - when will you learn....?!
Chely - would love to chat sometime. As Celtic says, it does get easier. It has just been bad timing for me all round - my darling Gran died in Feb so I went home for her funeral and then I had my daughter in June - a time when all girls like to have their own mums around eh? I love it when my mum comes but I almost want to tell her not to as I find it really unsettles me but I just couldn't do that.
Hey celtic, I am a SAHM but my son goes to preschool 4 mornings a week which is bliss with a newborn baby here! Thanks for the web site recs.
I am off to bed now - the wine has taken its toll but I noticed ont the 'back to the UK' room that their is a thread about this very thing which is very encouraging so Chely, maybe you sould go there and have a look?
Thanks for you kind words girls and make mine a double - just to top me off......

outsourced

Reasons why I left the US are the 3 Gs: Guns-Ghettos-Gated Communities.

As a US citizen, I’ve lived in the US for 34 too many years. Now, high unemployment and war-drum Christian soldiers everywhere with their American flag hanging off their conspicuous gas guzzling SUV….well, I passed on that one. But hey, I guess it’s better than ruddy ‘ol London, eh?

ScousePete

Whereabouts are you? You may find there are other Brits right around the corner from you.

Welcome to this forum, btw

Celtic_Angel

hey ScousePete is that a pig on a bike???

Ash UK/US

Have you thought about doing some voluntary work to get you out of the house?

Ash

bored-silly

I dont think you can even do voluntary work, it risks deportation which has its up sides!

ScousePete

Indeed it is

Ash UK/US

I understood you could so long as you were receiving no payment at all. I know that there are others on this forum who have done it too. Anyhoo if someone seriously wants something to get them out and about and meeting people maybe it is worth looking into.

Ash

g1ant

You need to pull yourself together, quit whining and get on with your life.

Things could be a lot worse. Look at me. I've just failed my counselling course.

Englishmum

Oh, you poor thing!

Even after living away from the UK for nearly 10 years I still get days where I feel homesick. It's usually something out of the blue which starts it off....like today I was looking out of the window watching the squirrels in the garden; it occurred to me that I've never seen a hedgehog here. It then set me off thinking about Bonfire Night and the smell of fireworks, eating baked potatoes and fat pork sausages outside even if it's damp or frosty.

It's definitely worse though when we've had visitors and they go home because it's as if you don't have anything to look forward to now they've gone and you miss their companionship. As the days progress you will probably feel more cheerful.....you have a new baby and I guess you are hormonal so it's not surprising you're a bit sad and weepy. I hope you feel better soon.

Someone mentioned voluntary work - but with a new baby and older child I can imagine that it's the last thing on your mind! However, for anyone else reading this I would like to state that any expat here *is* allowed to do voluntary work as long as it is unpaid....but just in case you are worried about the immigration service being on your case, I wouldn't recommend anyone voluntarily 'helping' out a friend or relative who is running a private business. It's best to help out in a community organisation or a registered charity.

I volunteer for a charity called 'Travelers Aid' (http://www.travelersaid.org) at Newark airport and find it quite rewarding. I had to have security clearance from the Port Authority of NY & NJ so I do know that it's OK for a dependant visa holder to do volunteer work.

If anyone is thinking about volunteering for few hours each week or month or just on a one-off occasion, here are some links - you just put in your zipcode to see what's in your district:

http://www.servenet.org

http://www.volunteermatch.org

http://www.idealist.org

http://www.volunteersolutions.org

I read a very sad post today on a local messageboard; someone is asking if volunteers could go in and cuddle and comfort some Aids babies in a halfway house.... it's amazing how many different types of volunteer opportunities are out there:

http://www.maplewoodonline.com/forum/ (Board is 'Virtual Cafe" and thread is 'Foster Parents for Babies needed' - but the note about the Aids babies is further down on the same thread). Perhaps there are such hospitals and halfway homes in your neighbourhood...

Celtic_Angel

Englishmum i've been away 10 years too! I know what you mean about the homesickness it gets me in bouts too

I've even been seriously considering a move back to U.K but this is also daunting- then I'd probably end up missing the States!