Homeland Security Advisory System
Dec 28th 2005, 3:34 am
#1
Pagan Sex God
Thread Starter
Joined: May 2002
Location: Living in Oblivion
Posts: 3,668
Homeland Security Advisory System
I was watching Fox News (I know, it was either that or put my testicles in the blender, and I did that on Saturday night already!) and saw that the Terror Alert was Yellow.
I couldn't help but think how useless the Color coded warning system was, as the only thing it could possibly do is induce panic and distress in the everyday citizen - it is really only of any use to the Security Services.
This got me thinking to where the color coded system would be useful, the answer is wifes and girlfriends, they should have to have the color coded warning system on their forheads, that way when they walk in the door and we the color code is Red we will know an attack is immenant!
So here it is - the Homeland and Gardenland Security Advisory System for Husbands and Boyfriends
Red - Attack Imminant, try to fend off with chocolate
Orange - Watch what you say, one false word and she blows
Yellow - Smile and give her salty snacks
Blue - Your OK as long as you dont ask her if she is PMS
Green - You have just bought her something nice, your OK for as short while
I couldn't help but think how useless the Color coded warning system was, as the only thing it could possibly do is induce panic and distress in the everyday citizen - it is really only of any use to the Security Services.
This got me thinking to where the color coded system would be useful, the answer is wifes and girlfriends, they should have to have the color coded warning system on their forheads, that way when they walk in the door and we the color code is Red we will know an attack is immenant!
So here it is - the Homeland and Gardenland Security Advisory System for Husbands and Boyfriends
Red - Attack Imminant, try to fend off with chocolate
Orange - Watch what you say, one false word and she blows
Yellow - Smile and give her salty snacks
Blue - Your OK as long as you dont ask her if she is PMS
Green - You have just bought her something nice, your OK for as short while
Last edited by Patrick; Dec 28th 2005 at 3:44 am.
Dec 28th 2005, 3:35 am
#2
Mr. Grumpy
Joined: Jun 2003
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 3,100
Re: Homeland Security Advisory System
Too funny
do you seriously come up with this shit yourself?
do you seriously come up with this shit yourself?
Dec 28th 2005, 5:04 am
#3
Back where I belong!
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Melbourne, Oz to Banbury, England to El Mirage, AZ & now back to England!
Posts: 5,989
Re: Homeland Security Advisory System
Originally Posted by BritGuyTN
Too funny
do you seriously come up with this shit yourself?
do you seriously come up with this shit yourself?
Dec 28th 2005, 5:06 am
#4
CA to TX to Jamaica
Joined: Jun 2003
Location: Location, Location.
Posts: 4,887
Re: Homeland Security Advisory System
Originally Posted by BritGuyTN
Too funny
do you seriously come up with this shit yourself?
do you seriously come up with this shit yourself?
Dec 28th 2005, 11:55 am
#5
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Oct 2003
Location: Avon Lake, OH
Posts: 5,270
Re: Homeland Security Advisory System
I like the Firefox homeland security add in. Right now they're scared.
Dec 28th 2005, 1:01 pm
#6
Pagan Sex God
Thread Starter
Joined: May 2002
Location: Living in Oblivion
Posts: 3,668
Re: Homeland Security Advisory System
Originally Posted by CaliforniaBride
That's a no then.
So, thats a yes then!
Dec 28th 2005, 1:55 pm
#7
Pass me the Marmite..
Joined: Feb 2004
Location: Atlanta, GA.
Posts: 864
Re: Homeland Security Advisory System
Originally Posted by Patrick
Well technically I wrote this myself from an original idea in my head. The fact someone else thought of it means is something else entirly. The British Beleive Swan invented the light bulb and the Americans believe it was Edison.
So, thats a yes then!
So, thats a yes then!
It's so funny that Americans think they invented everything. I can kill a conversation around this debate when I tell Americans they didn't even write the music to their own National Anthem - it was the SAME EXACT tune to a London/Irish pub song.
Aren't I a bad loser 
They also love their game shows until I beat them up and tell them nearly all of them start in the UK.... gotta laugh....
Dec 28th 2005, 1:56 pm
#8
Pass me the Marmite..
Joined: Feb 2004
Location: Atlanta, GA.
Posts: 864
Re: Homeland Security Advisory System
shite, I just remembered... I'm a 'merican now.... ooops
Dec 29th 2005, 8:07 pm
#9
A lion in your lap
Joined: Jul 2003
Location: Sparta NJ
Posts: 7,605
Re: Homeland Security Advisory System
I rather liked this one:
And no I didn't make it up myself.
And no I didn't make it up myself.
Dec 29th 2005, 8:24 pm
#10
CA to TX to Jamaica
Joined: Jun 2003
Location: Location, Location.
Posts: 4,887
Re: Homeland Security Advisory System
Originally Posted by elfman
I rather liked this one:
And no I didn't make it up myself.
And no I didn't make it up myself.
Dec 30th 2005, 3:42 am
#11
Pagan Sex God
Thread Starter
Joined: May 2002
Location: Living in Oblivion
Posts: 3,668
Re: Homeland Security Advisory System
Originally Posted by CaliforniaBride
Nah, Patrick did.
