Go Back  British Expats > Living & Moving Abroad > USA
Reload this Page >

Homeland Security Advisory System

Homeland Security Advisory System

Old Dec 28th 2005, 3:34 am
  #1  
Pagan Sex God
Thread Starter
 
Patrick's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2002
Location: Living in Oblivion
Posts: 3,668
Patrick has a reputation beyond reputePatrick has a reputation beyond reputePatrick has a reputation beyond reputePatrick has a reputation beyond reputePatrick has a reputation beyond reputePatrick has a reputation beyond reputePatrick has a reputation beyond reputePatrick has a reputation beyond reputePatrick has a reputation beyond reputePatrick has a reputation beyond reputePatrick has a reputation beyond repute
Default Homeland Security Advisory System

I was watching Fox News (I know, it was either that or put my testicles in the blender, and I did that on Saturday night already!) and saw that the Terror Alert was Yellow.

I couldn't help but think how useless the Color coded warning system was, as the only thing it could possibly do is induce panic and distress in the everyday citizen - it is really only of any use to the Security Services.

This got me thinking to where the color coded system would be useful, the answer is wifes and girlfriends, they should have to have the color coded warning system on their forheads, that way when they walk in the door and we the color code is Red we will know an attack is immenant!

So here it is - the Homeland and Gardenland Security Advisory System for Husbands and Boyfriends

Red - Attack Imminant, try to fend off with chocolate
Orange - Watch what you say, one false word and she blows
Yellow - Smile and give her salty snacks
Blue - Your OK as long as you dont ask her if she is PMS
Green - You have just bought her something nice, your OK for as short while

Last edited by Patrick; Dec 28th 2005 at 3:44 am.
Patrick is offline  
Old Dec 28th 2005, 3:35 am
  #2  
Mr. Grumpy
 
Joined: Jun 2003
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 3,100
BritGuyTN has a reputation beyond reputeBritGuyTN has a reputation beyond reputeBritGuyTN has a reputation beyond reputeBritGuyTN has a reputation beyond reputeBritGuyTN has a reputation beyond reputeBritGuyTN has a reputation beyond reputeBritGuyTN has a reputation beyond reputeBritGuyTN has a reputation beyond reputeBritGuyTN has a reputation beyond reputeBritGuyTN has a reputation beyond reputeBritGuyTN has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Homeland Security Advisory System

Too funny

do you seriously come up with this shit yourself?
BritGuyTN is offline  
Old Dec 28th 2005, 5:04 am
  #3  
Back where I belong!
 
Partystar's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Melbourne, Oz to Banbury, England to El Mirage, AZ & now back to England!
Posts: 5,989
Partystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Homeland Security Advisory System

Originally Posted by BritGuyTN
Too funny

do you seriously come up with this shit yourself?
I got an email with something very similar about 2 years ago back in England.
Partystar is offline  
Old Dec 28th 2005, 5:06 am
  #4  
~ Relocated to Iowa ~
 
CaliforniaBride's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2003
Location: Location, Location.
Posts: 4,883
CaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Homeland Security Advisory System

Originally Posted by BritGuyTN
Too funny

do you seriously come up with this shit yourself?
That's a no then.
CaliforniaBride is offline  
Old Dec 28th 2005, 11:55 am
  #5  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Duncan Roberts's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2003
Location: Avon Lake, OH
Posts: 5,268
Duncan Roberts has a reputation beyond reputeDuncan Roberts has a reputation beyond reputeDuncan Roberts has a reputation beyond reputeDuncan Roberts has a reputation beyond reputeDuncan Roberts has a reputation beyond reputeDuncan Roberts has a reputation beyond reputeDuncan Roberts has a reputation beyond reputeDuncan Roberts has a reputation beyond reputeDuncan Roberts has a reputation beyond reputeDuncan Roberts has a reputation beyond reputeDuncan Roberts has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Homeland Security Advisory System

I like the Firefox homeland security add in. Right now they're scared.
Duncan Roberts is offline  
Old Dec 28th 2005, 1:01 pm
  #6  
Pagan Sex God
Thread Starter
 
Patrick's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2002
Location: Living in Oblivion
Posts: 3,668
Patrick has a reputation beyond reputePatrick has a reputation beyond reputePatrick has a reputation beyond reputePatrick has a reputation beyond reputePatrick has a reputation beyond reputePatrick has a reputation beyond reputePatrick has a reputation beyond reputePatrick has a reputation beyond reputePatrick has a reputation beyond reputePatrick has a reputation beyond reputePatrick has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Homeland Security Advisory System

Originally Posted by CaliforniaBride
That's a no then.
Well technically I wrote this myself from an original idea in my head. The fact someone else thought of it means is something else entirly. The British Beleive Swan invented the light bulb and the Americans believe it was Edison.

So, thats a yes then!
Patrick is offline  
Old Dec 28th 2005, 1:55 pm
  #7  
Pass me the Marmite..
 
franc11s's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2004
Location: Atlanta, GA.
Posts: 864
franc11s has a reputation beyond reputefranc11s has a reputation beyond reputefranc11s has a reputation beyond reputefranc11s has a reputation beyond reputefranc11s has a reputation beyond reputefranc11s has a reputation beyond reputefranc11s has a reputation beyond reputefranc11s has a reputation beyond reputefranc11s has a reputation beyond reputefranc11s has a reputation beyond reputefranc11s has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Homeland Security Advisory System

Originally Posted by Patrick
Well technically I wrote this myself from an original idea in my head. The fact someone else thought of it means is something else entirly. The British Beleive Swan invented the light bulb and the Americans believe it was Edison.

So, thats a yes then!
God invented the light bulb - you even get a free tan...

It's so funny that Americans think they invented everything. I can kill a conversation around this debate when I tell Americans they didn't even write the music to their own National Anthem - it was the SAME EXACT tune to a London/Irish pub song. Aren't I a bad loser

They also love their game shows until I beat them up and tell them nearly all of them start in the UK.... gotta laugh....
franc11s is offline  
Old Dec 28th 2005, 1:56 pm
  #8  
Pass me the Marmite..
 
franc11s's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2004
Location: Atlanta, GA.
Posts: 864
franc11s has a reputation beyond reputefranc11s has a reputation beyond reputefranc11s has a reputation beyond reputefranc11s has a reputation beyond reputefranc11s has a reputation beyond reputefranc11s has a reputation beyond reputefranc11s has a reputation beyond reputefranc11s has a reputation beyond reputefranc11s has a reputation beyond reputefranc11s has a reputation beyond reputefranc11s has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Homeland Security Advisory System

shite, I just remembered... I'm a 'merican now.... ooops
franc11s is offline  
Old Dec 29th 2005, 8:07 pm
  #9  
A lion in your lap
 
elfman's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2003
Location: Sparta NJ
Posts: 7,603
elfman has a reputation beyond reputeelfman has a reputation beyond reputeelfman has a reputation beyond reputeelfman has a reputation beyond reputeelfman has a reputation beyond reputeelfman has a reputation beyond reputeelfman has a reputation beyond reputeelfman has a reputation beyond reputeelfman has a reputation beyond reputeelfman has a reputation beyond reputeelfman has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Homeland Security Advisory System

I rather liked this one:



And no I didn't make it up myself.
elfman is offline  
Old Dec 29th 2005, 8:24 pm
  #10  
~ Relocated to Iowa ~
 
CaliforniaBride's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2003
Location: Location, Location.
Posts: 4,883
CaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Homeland Security Advisory System

Originally Posted by elfman
I rather liked this one:



And no I didn't make it up myself.
Nah, Patrick did.
CaliforniaBride is offline  
Old Dec 30th 2005, 3:42 am
  #11  
Pagan Sex God
Thread Starter
 
Patrick's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2002
Location: Living in Oblivion
Posts: 3,668
Patrick has a reputation beyond reputePatrick has a reputation beyond reputePatrick has a reputation beyond reputePatrick has a reputation beyond reputePatrick has a reputation beyond reputePatrick has a reputation beyond reputePatrick has a reputation beyond reputePatrick has a reputation beyond reputePatrick has a reputation beyond reputePatrick has a reputation beyond reputePatrick has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Homeland Security Advisory System

Originally Posted by CaliforniaBride
Nah, Patrick did.
I only take credit for things I did, but thanks for thinking I am so talented.
Patrick is offline  

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Contact Us Archive Advertising Cookie Policy Privacy Statement Terms of Service

Copyright © 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.