rincewind

My wife has two children from a previous marriage (3 and 5 years old). The eldest has been going to pre-k over the last year, much against their father's opinion.

In a conversation last night with my wife, he wants her to home school his kids.

Now, first off, I nearly fell off my chair. To try and give you an idea of what this guy is like, he is a guy that believes no woman should work, vote, etc. and that they should remain home and be bare-foot and pregnant (his exact words). To sum him up, this guy is a dick.

My wife had considered home schooling whilst they were together and had the views that schools in the US were bad. Bad education system, kids getting shot at and that entire media hyped stuff.

And after last night, she is thinking about it again.

Being from England, I find the idea of home schooling ridiculous. Why? Well, I believe every child should go to a school and interact with children their own age. Learn to socialize, communicate with others and make friends. There are too many distractions at home.

My wife believes that she would do a better job then the schools here but I don't think she realizes how hard home schooling can be.

But is this just me having been raised in a country where schools are a must?

Have any of you had experience with this with your American partners? Have you or them home schooled? Do you know anyone who has?

Basically, I need to try and understand the benefits, as all I see are the weaknesses.

Taffyles

I took my daughter out of school and home schooled. In UK I wouldn't have considered it, but the final straw for me here was when I found my daughter was being taught that the theory of Evolution is a sin- there was a whole chapter in her science book devoted to why it was a sin.
It was the best thing I ever did and wish I'd home schooled her two older brothers.

It's very well organised here- you hire a home school consultant and meet with them once a month so they can check on work done, sort out any problems and advise etc. They test and decide the level your child should work at (in each subject) and you can buy all books from them (most have a sell back scheme) so its not expensive. The children sit their SATs annually supervised by the consultant (most kids shoot up in scores) and at the consultant's office. Its surprisingly easy once you get into it- you have grading measures for marking, answer books and guides for teaching.
In effect at elementary and middle school age- the workload is about 3 hours a day- so the kids love it. When you think about it so much time is wasted in school- they can achieve much more at home in half the time. The real beauty is that your child can work at their own pace in all subjects- eg my daughter was gifted in English but slower in math- when she was 13 she was working at grade level 11 English and different levels in each subject.

Socially- well if you want your kids to get into a decent college they HAVE to have extra curricular activities as well as good grades- sports etc. My daughter had been dancing since she was 5 and every night and weekend she was at dance school, so she had plenty of socialising there. She also went away to ballet summer schools every year.

When she was in grade 5, her teacher told me she would never be a scientist- after a year of home schooling her math improved by TWO grade levels and in science, her sat scores shot up to the 95th percentile- whats more she actually LIKED the subjects. She read more books at home in one year than she would have done in 5 in school- the reading list was impressive and they have more time at home to read. My daughter won a full scholarship at 16 and went away to school in Virginia- at 20, she was a fully trained ballerina with a degree. She is now an accountant, married and expecting her first child.

More home schooled kids are getting into the top schools, Harvard, Yale etc. And when I asked at her interview for school if her being home schooled would be a problem on her application- I was told it was an advantage- they had found that homeschooled kids were far more mature, focused and had covered so much more work than regularly schooled kids.
I can recommend it. All the kids we know that have been home schooled have done really well.
Cost wise- the home consultant was about $45 a month, annual SATs were free, books about $200 the first year, supplies (a bit more than school because they DO more), and libraries are free....very inexpensive really.

Another benefit is that the kids are not exposed to drugs, bullying etc that they can be in schools- my daughter was offered drugs in Grade 5!!

Your wife is right she could do a better job than the schools educationally. I've found that the home schooled kids I know are actually more confident socially- they don't have to deal with the crap that goes on in schools. And they are much more focused and time efficient - there are far fewer distractions at home than in a roomful with approx 30 other kids.
I can thoroughly recommend it.

NC Penguin

Um Taffyles has pretty much hit the nail on the head as to why parents in the US choose to homeschool. It's simply because some parents believe that the quality of education taught is not up to scratch.

Also, it sounds as if there's a network of organizations that can assist with homeschooling.

Ben

Never home schooled myself but know of a few that have done it and it has been successful for each of them.

I have wondered whether I should do it with my youngest but, to be honest, the school district here is very good so we decided it was better to keep him in school. He is a handful and the school is big on discipline.

I have noticed that there are a lot of kids that are homeschooled and I understand it does vary from state to state and from district to district. the churches have home schooling clubs and the libraries have loads of activities that include things for home schooled kids.

ScousePete

A while ago I worked with a guy who was home-schooled. He was very intelligent and well-read, but did not have any social skills. His only experience with life was through books, or what his mother taught him about the "outside world", which wasn't much.

As an only child, he had no-one to play with and his mother did not encourage social interaction. He was 22 years old and never had a girlfriend, he was afraid to talk to anyone for fear of putting his foot in his mouth, which he did on a regular basis.

He confided in me that many times he had contemplated suicide as he feared that he would never fit in. I persuaded him to get some professional help and he is now in counselling.

School is not just about reading books, it is about the friends that you make, the games that you play and the social interaction. For those of you thinking about home-schooling for your kids, make sure that they don't just work all the time.

Taffyles

Good points, although it sounds like there might have been bigger issues in this guys case, or rather, his mothers! Home schooling should mean less time on actual schooling but more actual learning, because HS is much more time efficient - that's why many kids in training for something (eg gymnastics, swimming etc) opt for home schooling. They get much more 'free' time to do other things.

Once you home school you get details of clubs for kids, support group meetings for parents, and all sorts of activities you can join etc. I never used them because my daughter had more than enough social life and friends with her dance activities. Most kids are 'into' something here whether they're in school or out- little league etc
Summer camps and 'other' activities are important for later college applications when your kids are in school- this becomes more important for social reasons if you home school, obviously.

lelou

I am now 19 years old. I was home schooled….in the UK…. And I have turned out alright! I was taken out of school at 11 years old as I was too busy messing around at school rather than learning, and with not as many hours spend in classes rather spend about 2-3hours a day learning about 3-4 times a week and the rest of the time I did what I wanted and I passed my GCSEs at 14 years old instead of 16. My mam isn’t a teacher, she used books, and I was thought along with one of my friends, and we were not all all alone or anything, as both in the US and the UK (not sure about other countries) people who are home schooled are like a little community they often get together go on walks or to events etc… Well that’s if the parents or children want to or look into finding other home schooled families to associate with. I am sure that they are a lot of people who do not look or let their children associate with other people, which is something I do not agree with for obvious reasons. Although I do think that if you are getting home schooled with a friend or sibling it helps a lot. I now own my own business, I am fully bilingual to mother tongue level in both French and English, and have a number of qualifications. So I would say children who are home taught (as long as they WANT to be home taught) are very well off. And I found that children my age who where home taught where very mature compared to kids who where at school, and all seemed to be a lot more educated than children there own age. And the fact that children should be around people there own age, they do can be when home taught. You get to meet a lot of interesting people, and not just your own age. The only thing I missed about not going to school was not getting to wear a uniform everyday!!

Gross50

I have been invariably informed that people who home school their kids are intent on 'protecting' thier children. i think schooling is much more than formal education. there is the aspect of informal education. poor kids!

jaybob

Sounds bad to me, at least in state schools they only take drugs in groups of five or ten.

Taffyles

LOL.
Well you know the saying...don't let school get in the way of your education...quite true.
My daughter much preferred informal education..at home.

Taffyles

suzieque

I have one daughter 9yrs old and when we moved here last year I was very worried about American school system and we did home schooling for a while. She hated it and begged to go to school. I also realised she wasn't learning so much and had done the whole semesters work in a few weeks.
Finally I relented and sent her to US school. She has done so well, the school & her teacher is great, she has come on so well and is a straight 'A' student.
I have been impressed by the school system, very surprised, not sure what I expected but it is better.
I volunteer in her class at least one day a week to keep a check on it but she loves it.
If you are worried about the school system then shop around, I have her in a out of district school just signed a waiver.

Funny, Taffyles saying that as all the people I know who home school it is because they have no religon in school and the use a Christian cirriculum. My daughter had prayers hymns and assembly in British school but here she has no religion at all.
The only thing is she has pledge alliegance to the flag and sing the anthem every morning...... she tells me she only pretends to say it as "it isn't her flag" Funny thing she was born in US but definatley considers herself English.
Good luck if you go for home schooling, it is a lot of work and commitment and as mentioned before you really have to join them to plenty of clubs and activities to socialize
Suzieque

IN THE YEAR 2525

We are from the UK living in Florida,my son was home schooled and he is now a pilot in the UK.I think his social skills lacked a little but he soon got out of that when he got back to the UK.

Patrick

My neighbor home schools because the schools aren't conservative enough for them (this is NC, how conservative do you want them to be)

The only people I knew who were home schooled in the UK where the ones expelled from school.

Franklin

I am not in favor of total home schooling; children need interaction with a live teacher, and can gain so much from a motivated teacher in love with teaching. Such teachers are worth their weight in gold.

I see no problem with (obviously after applying due diligence) using one or more private tutors with specialist skills for special problems with e.g., math. If I had kids I would certainly use private tutors to boost their knowledge and skills in key subject areas. Something I never had, but private tutoring (i.e. employing someone with specialist skills in a subject area of interest to the child/parent) could be very helpful. Sometimes kids unconsciously pick up on negative vibes a primary teacher might have with, for example, math and science, but a specialist private tutor who loves their particular subject area can be a real boon and give off very positive vibes. But do due diligence and sit in on the odd private lesson and certainly interrupt private lessons with tea and biscuits to make sure things are going OK.