Hi, advice on H4 visa and CA/Irvine life needed
Dec 14th 2010, 3:55 am
#91
BE Forum Addict
Joined: May 2007
Location: O.C. CA
Posts: 3,694
Re: Hi, advice on H4 visa and CA/Irvine life needed
I have lived in the OC for 3.5 years. Our children were much older than yours when we moved here - 11, 12 and 17 (tougher ages).
If I could sum up how I feel about our experience - I am really glad we did it but I wish I had asked all the questions you are. I wish I knew just had hard it would be at times and realised how life changing it would be and the questions it would make you ask about yourself and what you want for your life.
It's an incredible experience and one that has changed our family forever.
Irvine is a nice place.. has nice residential areas to it but is quite commercial. All of the British Expats I know here where shown rentals in Irvine along with other areas, and none of them chose to live there. I live in Mission Viejo and the other 'Brits' live in surrounding cities - Lake Forest, Rancho Santa Margarita and Ladera Ranch. commute time anywhere from 10 to 20 minutes from any of those cities to Irvine.
Remember this is the OC not LA. There is a difference. Lifestyle, Traffic, people. It's different.
Negatives about move/OC:
* You will be a lot further from home than you imagine. 10-11 hour flight home and expensive for a family of 4 to travel back. 8 hour time difference is a bloody killer. When you begin your day theirs is coming to an end. It makes it tough to keep up regular communication with home/friends/family.
* Unless you are very sociable and thick skinned it can be tough to make friends here. There is an expat community ( and we're fabulous!) and it does help to have people who have an understanding of what you are going through. That said I have some expat friends who have a big circle of American friends - but coincidentally they have younger children.
* You WILL be homesick at times - If you are lucky it won't be so bad that you need to medicate yourself ( or is that just me
). You WILL question at some points whether you have done the right thing. You WILL have some low points that you will have to overcome.
* The OC - Did you ever see the show The Real Housewives of OC. These women do exist. They are real and they are scary and they are plentiful. Not all OC housewives are like this.......................... I am going to stick my neck out here and say that I haven't yet met an American here were I live, be it a neighbour, at a place of work or a friend of a friend that I have thought I could become good friends with. That said I am quite peculiar
* Seeing as it is Christmas time - If you are a person who enjoys Christmas, the snow/cold, the over flowing social calender during the festive season, the hussle and bustle of preparations for family and friends visiting - then you will find it tough during this time. Really tough. It's nothing like Christmas at home. And if you can't afford to go home at this time of year it is likely to be one of the toughest times of the year for you.
* Your Children will not have their extended family around them. If this is important to you then this will be tough. Especially at the age your children are.
* Californians LOVE a bit of paperwork - I cannot over exaggerate the amount of paperwork you will have to deal with. For everything. Your post box will be over flowing everyday. And it's a pain in the @rse!
* It is expensive to live here. Initially you will convert everything back to the pound, but you will learn not to do that. Groceries tend to be more expensive, I feel, but of course some things are cheaper. Gas (petrol) for one.
* You will drive to get just about everywhere. The positive to this is that driving is very easy here.
* TV is Sh!te.
Positives about the move/OC:
* Weather - its does make a difference. You can organise an outdoor get together in advance (if you have found friends that is!) There are some beautiful spots here in the OC.
* You will be 20-30 minutes from the beach - an hour to San Diego
- and 45 mins (depending on traffic) to LA. It's just over an hour to the mountains where you can go and ski in the winter.
* Vegas is a 4-5 hour drive, if you like that sort of thing. Santa Barbara and even San Francisco are not so far that you can't take a drive for a weekend or few days.
* It's a very laid back sort of lifestyle. Shopping Malls are plentiful - You never ever have to worry about finding a parking spot.
* It's clean - very clean.. If you ever saw The Truman Show then it's kinda like that, seriously.
* I feel my children have a great life style here. I think this has been an experience that has changed the type of people they will be. It was very very difficult for my youngest (son) in the beginning but he has adapted fantastically. I genuinely didn't believe in the beginning he would ever settle, but kids are so much more adaptable than us 'grown ups'! My kids have experienced things they never would have back home.
* If you do find friends, be them Expats or locals it will make all the difference. It will happen, but it may take a little longer than you hope for. There are all sorts of activities, clubs etc you can get yourself involved in - and thats the key - you must get involved. I didn't and I didn't meet people. Then I did and I met people. It's that simple.
* Your 'spare time' as a family can be great. Day trips to the beach, LA, San Diego, Mountains, hiking etc. We do so much more here than we ever did in the UK. Not that the UK hasn't got fantastic things to offer - but you almost feel you have to explore here, you don't know how long you'll be here and it would be criminal not to! ( Funny though, because now I can't help feeling how ridiculous it is that we didn't explore more of the UK!)
I started typing this 2 hours ago - In between cooking dinner and seeing to the kids and a million interruptions. I just re read it and it's kinda lame to be honest. There are far more important pros & cons! But anyway, there's my brief, interrupted, wine induced contribution. If there is anything you want to ask please feel free to PM me.
Best of luck with your decision. It's tough. I think if I were you, knowing what I know and having been through it, I'd say go for it. If you're tough and can see it as potentially a couple/few years out of your life to try something only some can, then give it a go. ( And I say all that whilst feeling particularly homesick at the moment)
If I could sum up how I feel about our experience - I am really glad we did it but I wish I had asked all the questions you are. I wish I knew just had hard it would be at times and realised how life changing it would be and the questions it would make you ask about yourself and what you want for your life.
It's an incredible experience and one that has changed our family forever.
Irvine is a nice place.. has nice residential areas to it but is quite commercial. All of the British Expats I know here where shown rentals in Irvine along with other areas, and none of them chose to live there. I live in Mission Viejo and the other 'Brits' live in surrounding cities - Lake Forest, Rancho Santa Margarita and Ladera Ranch. commute time anywhere from 10 to 20 minutes from any of those cities to Irvine.
Remember this is the OC not LA. There is a difference. Lifestyle, Traffic, people. It's different.
Negatives about move/OC:
* You will be a lot further from home than you imagine. 10-11 hour flight home and expensive for a family of 4 to travel back. 8 hour time difference is a bloody killer. When you begin your day theirs is coming to an end. It makes it tough to keep up regular communication with home/friends/family.
* Unless you are very sociable and thick skinned it can be tough to make friends here. There is an expat community ( and we're fabulous!) and it does help to have people who have an understanding of what you are going through. That said I have some expat friends who have a big circle of American friends - but coincidentally they have younger children.
* You WILL be homesick at times - If you are lucky it won't be so bad that you need to medicate yourself ( or is that just me
). You WILL question at some points whether you have done the right thing. You WILL have some low points that you will have to overcome. * The OC - Did you ever see the show The Real Housewives of OC. These women do exist. They are real and they are scary and they are plentiful. Not all OC housewives are like this.......................... I am going to stick my neck out here and say that I haven't yet met an American here were I live, be it a neighbour, at a place of work or a friend of a friend that I have thought I could become good friends with. That said I am quite peculiar
* Seeing as it is Christmas time - If you are a person who enjoys Christmas, the snow/cold, the over flowing social calender during the festive season, the hussle and bustle of preparations for family and friends visiting - then you will find it tough during this time. Really tough. It's nothing like Christmas at home. And if you can't afford to go home at this time of year it is likely to be one of the toughest times of the year for you.
* Your Children will not have their extended family around them. If this is important to you then this will be tough. Especially at the age your children are.
* Californians LOVE a bit of paperwork - I cannot over exaggerate the amount of paperwork you will have to deal with. For everything. Your post box will be over flowing everyday. And it's a pain in the @rse!
* It is expensive to live here. Initially you will convert everything back to the pound, but you will learn not to do that. Groceries tend to be more expensive, I feel, but of course some things are cheaper. Gas (petrol) for one.
* You will drive to get just about everywhere. The positive to this is that driving is very easy here.
* TV is Sh!te.
Positives about the move/OC:
* Weather - its does make a difference. You can organise an outdoor get together in advance (if you have found friends that is!) There are some beautiful spots here in the OC.
* You will be 20-30 minutes from the beach - an hour to San Diego
- and 45 mins (depending on traffic) to LA. It's just over an hour to the mountains where you can go and ski in the winter. * Vegas is a 4-5 hour drive, if you like that sort of thing. Santa Barbara and even San Francisco are not so far that you can't take a drive for a weekend or few days.
* It's a very laid back sort of lifestyle. Shopping Malls are plentiful - You never ever have to worry about finding a parking spot.
* It's clean - very clean.. If you ever saw The Truman Show then it's kinda like that, seriously.
* I feel my children have a great life style here. I think this has been an experience that has changed the type of people they will be. It was very very difficult for my youngest (son) in the beginning but he has adapted fantastically. I genuinely didn't believe in the beginning he would ever settle, but kids are so much more adaptable than us 'grown ups'! My kids have experienced things they never would have back home.
* If you do find friends, be them Expats or locals it will make all the difference. It will happen, but it may take a little longer than you hope for. There are all sorts of activities, clubs etc you can get yourself involved in - and thats the key - you must get involved. I didn't and I didn't meet people. Then I did and I met people. It's that simple.
* Your 'spare time' as a family can be great. Day trips to the beach, LA, San Diego, Mountains, hiking etc. We do so much more here than we ever did in the UK. Not that the UK hasn't got fantastic things to offer - but you almost feel you have to explore here, you don't know how long you'll be here and it would be criminal not to! ( Funny though, because now I can't help feeling how ridiculous it is that we didn't explore more of the UK!)
I started typing this 2 hours ago - In between cooking dinner and seeing to the kids and a million interruptions. I just re read it and it's kinda lame to be honest. There are far more important pros & cons! But anyway, there's my brief, interrupted, wine induced contribution. If there is anything you want to ask please feel free to PM me.
Best of luck with your decision. It's tough. I think if I were you, knowing what I know and having been through it, I'd say go for it. If you're tough and can see it as potentially a couple/few years out of your life to try something only some can, then give it a go. ( And I say all that whilst feeling particularly homesick at the moment)
Dec 16th 2010, 12:37 am
#92
Forum Regular
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 212
Re: Hi, advice on H4 visa and CA/Irvine life needed
I have lived in the OC for 3.5 years. Our children were much older than yours when we moved here - 11, 12 and 17 (tougher ages).
If I could sum up how I feel about our experience - I am really glad we did it but I wish I had asked all the questions you are. I wish I knew just had hard it would be at times and realised how life changing it would be and the questions it would make you ask about yourself and what you want for your life.
It's an incredible experience and one that has changed our family forever.
Irvine is a nice place.. has nice residential areas to it but is quite commercial. All of the British Expats I know here where shown rentals in Irvine along with other areas, and none of them chose to live there. I live in Mission Viejo and the other 'Brits' live in surrounding cities - Lake Forest, Rancho Santa Margarita and Ladera Ranch. commute time anywhere from 10 to 20 minutes from any of those cities to Irvine.
Remember this is the OC not LA. There is a difference. Lifestyle, Traffic, people. It's different.
Negatives about move/OC:
* You will be a lot further from home than you imagine. 10-11 hour flight home and expensive for a family of 4 to travel back. 8 hour time difference is a bloody killer. When you begin your day theirs is coming to an end. It makes it tough to keep up regular communication with home/friends/family.
* Unless you are very sociable and thick skinned it can be tough to make friends here. There is an expat community ( and we're fabulous!) and it does help to have people who have an understanding of what you are going through. That said I have some expat friends who have a big circle of American friends - but coincidentally they have younger children.
* You WILL be homesick at times - If you are lucky it won't be so bad that you need to medicate yourself ( or is that just me). You WILL question at some points whether you have done the right thing. You WILL have some low points that you will have to overcome.
* The OC - Did you ever see the show The Real Housewives of OC. These women do exist. They are real and they are scary and they are plentiful. Not all OC housewives are like this.......................... I am going to stick my neck out here and say that I haven't yet met an American here were I live, be it a neighbour, at a place of work or a friend of a friend that I have thought I could become good friends with. That said I am quite peculiar
* Seeing as it is Christmas time - If you are a person who enjoys Christmas, the snow/cold, the over flowing social calender during the festive season, the hussle and bustle of preparations for family and friends visiting - then you will find it tough during this time. Really tough. It's nothing like Christmas at home. And if you can't afford to go home at this time of year it is likely to be one of the toughest times of the year for you.
* Your Children will not have their extended family around them. If this is important to you then this will be tough. Especially at the age your children are.
* Californians LOVE a bit of paperwork - I cannot over exaggerate the amount of paperwork you will have to deal with. For everything. Your post box will be over flowing everyday. And it's a pain in the @rse!
* It is expensive to live here. Initially you will convert everything back to the pound, but you will learn not to do that. Groceries tend to be more expensive, I feel, but of course some things are cheaper. Gas (petrol) for one.
* You will drive to get just about everywhere. The positive to this is that driving is very easy here.
* TV is Sh!te.
Positives about the move/OC:
* Weather - its does make a difference. You can organise an outdoor get together in advance (if you have found friends that is!) There are some beautiful spots here in the OC.
* You will be 20-30 minutes from the beach - an hour to San Diego - and 45 mins (depending on traffic) to LA. It's just over an hour to the mountains where you can go and ski in the winter.
* Vegas is a 4-5 hour drive, if you like that sort of thing. Santa Barbara and even San Francisco are not so far that you can't take a drive for a weekend or few days.
* It's a very laid back sort of lifestyle. Shopping Malls are plentiful - You never ever have to worry about finding a parking spot.
* It's clean - very clean.. If you ever saw The Truman Show then it's kinda like that, seriously.
* I feel my children have a great life style here. I think this has been an experience that has changed the type of people they will be. It was very very difficult for my youngest (son) in the beginning but he has adapted fantastically. I genuinely didn't believe in the beginning he would ever settle, but kids are so much more adaptable than us 'grown ups'! My kids have experienced things they never would have back home.
* If you do find friends, be them Expats or locals it will make all the difference. It will happen, but it may take a little longer than you hope for. There are all sorts of activities, clubs etc you can get yourself involved in - and thats the key - you must get involved. I didn't and I didn't meet people. Then I did and I met people. It's that simple.
* Your 'spare time' as a family can be great. Day trips to the beach, LA, San Diego, Mountains, hiking etc. We do so much more here than we ever did in the UK. Not that the UK hasn't got fantastic things to offer - but you almost feel you have to explore here, you don't know how long you'll be here and it would be criminal not to! ( Funny though, because now I can't help feeling how ridiculous it is that we didn't explore more of the UK!)
I started typing this 2 hours ago - In between cooking dinner and seeing to the kids and a million interruptions. I just re read it and it's kinda lame to be honest. There are far more important pros & cons! But anyway, there's my brief, interrupted, wine induced contribution. If there is anything you want to ask please feel free to PM me.
Best of luck with your decision. It's tough. I think if I were you, knowing what I know and having been through it, I'd say go for it. If you're tough and can see it as potentially a couple/few years out of your life to try something only some can, then give it a go. ( And I say all that whilst feeling particularly homesick at the moment)
If I could sum up how I feel about our experience - I am really glad we did it but I wish I had asked all the questions you are. I wish I knew just had hard it would be at times and realised how life changing it would be and the questions it would make you ask about yourself and what you want for your life.
It's an incredible experience and one that has changed our family forever.
Irvine is a nice place.. has nice residential areas to it but is quite commercial. All of the British Expats I know here where shown rentals in Irvine along with other areas, and none of them chose to live there. I live in Mission Viejo and the other 'Brits' live in surrounding cities - Lake Forest, Rancho Santa Margarita and Ladera Ranch. commute time anywhere from 10 to 20 minutes from any of those cities to Irvine.
Remember this is the OC not LA. There is a difference. Lifestyle, Traffic, people. It's different.
Negatives about move/OC:
* You will be a lot further from home than you imagine. 10-11 hour flight home and expensive for a family of 4 to travel back. 8 hour time difference is a bloody killer. When you begin your day theirs is coming to an end. It makes it tough to keep up regular communication with home/friends/family.
* Unless you are very sociable and thick skinned it can be tough to make friends here. There is an expat community ( and we're fabulous!) and it does help to have people who have an understanding of what you are going through. That said I have some expat friends who have a big circle of American friends - but coincidentally they have younger children.
* You WILL be homesick at times - If you are lucky it won't be so bad that you need to medicate yourself ( or is that just me
). You WILL question at some points whether you have done the right thing. You WILL have some low points that you will have to overcome. * The OC - Did you ever see the show The Real Housewives of OC. These women do exist. They are real and they are scary and they are plentiful. Not all OC housewives are like this.......................... I am going to stick my neck out here and say that I haven't yet met an American here were I live, be it a neighbour, at a place of work or a friend of a friend that I have thought I could become good friends with. That said I am quite peculiar
* Seeing as it is Christmas time - If you are a person who enjoys Christmas, the snow/cold, the over flowing social calender during the festive season, the hussle and bustle of preparations for family and friends visiting - then you will find it tough during this time. Really tough. It's nothing like Christmas at home. And if you can't afford to go home at this time of year it is likely to be one of the toughest times of the year for you.
* Your Children will not have their extended family around them. If this is important to you then this will be tough. Especially at the age your children are.
* Californians LOVE a bit of paperwork - I cannot over exaggerate the amount of paperwork you will have to deal with. For everything. Your post box will be over flowing everyday. And it's a pain in the @rse!
* It is expensive to live here. Initially you will convert everything back to the pound, but you will learn not to do that. Groceries tend to be more expensive, I feel, but of course some things are cheaper. Gas (petrol) for one.
* You will drive to get just about everywhere. The positive to this is that driving is very easy here.
* TV is Sh!te.
Positives about the move/OC:
* Weather - its does make a difference. You can organise an outdoor get together in advance (if you have found friends that is!) There are some beautiful spots here in the OC.
* You will be 20-30 minutes from the beach - an hour to San Diego
- and 45 mins (depending on traffic) to LA. It's just over an hour to the mountains where you can go and ski in the winter. * Vegas is a 4-5 hour drive, if you like that sort of thing. Santa Barbara and even San Francisco are not so far that you can't take a drive for a weekend or few days.
* It's a very laid back sort of lifestyle. Shopping Malls are plentiful - You never ever have to worry about finding a parking spot.
* It's clean - very clean.. If you ever saw The Truman Show then it's kinda like that, seriously.
* I feel my children have a great life style here. I think this has been an experience that has changed the type of people they will be. It was very very difficult for my youngest (son) in the beginning but he has adapted fantastically. I genuinely didn't believe in the beginning he would ever settle, but kids are so much more adaptable than us 'grown ups'! My kids have experienced things they never would have back home.
* If you do find friends, be them Expats or locals it will make all the difference. It will happen, but it may take a little longer than you hope for. There are all sorts of activities, clubs etc you can get yourself involved in - and thats the key - you must get involved. I didn't and I didn't meet people. Then I did and I met people. It's that simple.
* Your 'spare time' as a family can be great. Day trips to the beach, LA, San Diego, Mountains, hiking etc. We do so much more here than we ever did in the UK. Not that the UK hasn't got fantastic things to offer - but you almost feel you have to explore here, you don't know how long you'll be here and it would be criminal not to! ( Funny though, because now I can't help feeling how ridiculous it is that we didn't explore more of the UK!)
I started typing this 2 hours ago - In between cooking dinner and seeing to the kids and a million interruptions. I just re read it and it's kinda lame to be honest. There are far more important pros & cons! But anyway, there's my brief, interrupted, wine induced contribution. If there is anything you want to ask please feel free to PM me.
Best of luck with your decision. It's tough. I think if I were you, knowing what I know and having been through it, I'd say go for it. If you're tough and can see it as potentially a couple/few years out of your life to try something only some can, then give it a go. ( And I say all that whilst feeling particularly homesick at the moment)
Well said......agree with most everything you said but after 16 years in the OC i am done with it.......ie its very fake
G
Dec 16th 2010, 1:28 am
#93
Just Joined
Joined: May 2009
Location: Irvine, CA
Posts: 23
Re: Hi, advice on H4 visa and CA/Irvine life needed
Hi!
I know I'm coming very late to this thread, and I'm guessing that you've had to make the big decision by now, but I just wanted to add a few things about my own experience.
We actually live in Irvine, I'm on a H4 visa, and my husband is on a significantly lower salary than yours and we cope absolutely fine! Granted we don't have children yet (one on the way actually!), which I know is a big factor, but I just wanted to let you know that we're very happy here, I've made plenty of friends and I don't feel isolated at all.
There are downsides of course, but on the whole I just wanted you to know that it was the best decision we could have made and I don't regret it one bit. We've been here over a year now and no, I can't work, but I keep myself busy by studying and volunteering and I love it.
Before anyone jumps on me, I'm not trying to make out everything's perfect and wonderful all of the time, but there's a lot of doom and gloom about being an H4 spouse and I just want to say that in my own experience, it's what you make of it, and if you're determined to have a positive experience here, then it can be done quite easily (even on the salary we're on!).
That's all. If you want a contact in Irvine when you first get here, let me know!
I know I'm coming very late to this thread, and I'm guessing that you've had to make the big decision by now, but I just wanted to add a few things about my own experience.
We actually live in Irvine, I'm on a H4 visa, and my husband is on a significantly lower salary than yours and we cope absolutely fine! Granted we don't have children yet (one on the way actually!), which I know is a big factor, but I just wanted to let you know that we're very happy here, I've made plenty of friends and I don't feel isolated at all.
There are downsides of course, but on the whole I just wanted you to know that it was the best decision we could have made and I don't regret it one bit. We've been here over a year now and no, I can't work, but I keep myself busy by studying and volunteering and I love it.
Before anyone jumps on me, I'm not trying to make out everything's perfect and wonderful all of the time, but there's a lot of doom and gloom about being an H4 spouse and I just want to say that in my own experience, it's what you make of it, and if you're determined to have a positive experience here, then it can be done quite easily (even on the salary we're on!).
That's all. If you want a contact in Irvine when you first get here, let me know!
Dec 19th 2010, 12:48 am
#94
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 26
Re: Hi, advice on H4 visa and CA/Irvine life needed
I have lived in the OC for 3.5 years. Our children were much older than yours when we moved here - 11, 12 and 17 (tougher ages).
If I could sum up how I feel about our experience - I am really glad we did it but I wish I had asked all the questions you are. I wish I knew just had hard it would be at times and realised how life changing it would be and the questions it would make you ask about yourself and what you want for your life.
It's an incredible experience and one that has changed our family forever.
Irvine is a nice place.. has nice residential areas to it but is quite commercial. All of the British Expats I know here where shown rentals in Irvine along with other areas, and none of them chose to live there. I live in Mission Viejo and the other 'Brits' live in surrounding cities - Lake Forest, Rancho Santa Margarita and Ladera Ranch. commute time anywhere from 10 to 20 minutes from any of those cities to Irvine.
Remember this is the OC not LA. There is a difference. Lifestyle, Traffic, people. It's different.
Negatives about move/OC:
* You will be a lot further from home than you imagine. 10-11 hour flight home and expensive for a family of 4 to travel back. 8 hour time difference is a bloody killer. When you begin your day theirs is coming to an end. It makes it tough to keep up regular communication with home/friends/family.
* Unless you are very sociable and thick skinned it can be tough to make friends here. There is an expat community ( and we're fabulous!) and it does help to have people who have an understanding of what you are going through. That said I have some expat friends who have a big circle of American friends - but coincidentally they have younger children.
* You WILL be homesick at times - If you are lucky it won't be so bad that you need to medicate yourself ( or is that just me). You WILL question at some points whether you have done the right thing. You WILL have some low points that you will have to overcome.
* The OC - Did you ever see the show The Real Housewives of OC. These women do exist. They are real and they are scary and they are plentiful. Not all OC housewives are like this.......................... I am going to stick my neck out here and say that I haven't yet met an American here were I live, be it a neighbour, at a place of work or a friend of a friend that I have thought I could become good friends with. That said I am quite peculiar
* Seeing as it is Christmas time - If you are a person who enjoys Christmas, the snow/cold, the over flowing social calender during the festive season, the hussle and bustle of preparations for family and friends visiting - then you will find it tough during this time. Really tough. It's nothing like Christmas at home. And if you can't afford to go home at this time of year it is likely to be one of the toughest times of the year for you.
* Your Children will not have their extended family around them. If this is important to you then this will be tough. Especially at the age your children are.
* Californians LOVE a bit of paperwork - I cannot over exaggerate the amount of paperwork you will have to deal with. For everything. Your post box will be over flowing everyday. And it's a pain in the @rse!
* It is expensive to live here. Initially you will convert everything back to the pound, but you will learn not to do that. Groceries tend to be more expensive, I feel, but of course some things are cheaper. Gas (petrol) for one.
* You will drive to get just about everywhere. The positive to this is that driving is very easy here.
* TV is Sh!te.
Positives about the move/OC:
* Weather - its does make a difference. You can organise an outdoor get together in advance (if you have found friends that is!) There are some beautiful spots here in the OC.
* You will be 20-30 minutes from the beach - an hour to San Diego - and 45 mins (depending on traffic) to LA. It's just over an hour to the mountains where you can go and ski in the winter.
* Vegas is a 4-5 hour drive, if you like that sort of thing. Santa Barbara and even San Francisco are not so far that you can't take a drive for a weekend or few days.
* It's a very laid back sort of lifestyle. Shopping Malls are plentiful - You never ever have to worry about finding a parking spot.
* It's clean - very clean.. If you ever saw The Truman Show then it's kinda like that, seriously.
* I feel my children have a great life style here. I think this has been an experience that has changed the type of people they will be. It was very very difficult for my youngest (son) in the beginning but he has adapted fantastically. I genuinely didn't believe in the beginning he would ever settle, but kids are so much more adaptable than us 'grown ups'! My kids have experienced things they never would have back home.
* If you do find friends, be them Expats or locals it will make all the difference. It will happen, but it may take a little longer than you hope for. There are all sorts of activities, clubs etc you can get yourself involved in - and thats the key - you must get involved. I didn't and I didn't meet people. Then I did and I met people. It's that simple.
* Your 'spare time' as a family can be great. Day trips to the beach, LA, San Diego, Mountains, hiking etc. We do so much more here than we ever did in the UK. Not that the UK hasn't got fantastic things to offer - but you almost feel you have to explore here, you don't know how long you'll be here and it would be criminal not to! ( Funny though, because now I can't help feeling how ridiculous it is that we didn't explore more of the UK!)
I started typing this 2 hours ago - In between cooking dinner and seeing to the kids and a million interruptions. I just re read it and it's kinda lame to be honest. There are far more important pros & cons! But anyway, there's my brief, interrupted, wine induced contribution. If there is anything you want to ask please feel free to PM me.
Best of luck with your decision. It's tough. I think if I were you, knowing what I know and having been through it, I'd say go for it. If you're tough and can see it as potentially a couple/few years out of your life to try something only some can, then give it a go. ( And I say all that whilst feeling particularly homesick at the moment)
If I could sum up how I feel about our experience - I am really glad we did it but I wish I had asked all the questions you are. I wish I knew just had hard it would be at times and realised how life changing it would be and the questions it would make you ask about yourself and what you want for your life.
It's an incredible experience and one that has changed our family forever.
Irvine is a nice place.. has nice residential areas to it but is quite commercial. All of the British Expats I know here where shown rentals in Irvine along with other areas, and none of them chose to live there. I live in Mission Viejo and the other 'Brits' live in surrounding cities - Lake Forest, Rancho Santa Margarita and Ladera Ranch. commute time anywhere from 10 to 20 minutes from any of those cities to Irvine.
Remember this is the OC not LA. There is a difference. Lifestyle, Traffic, people. It's different.
Negatives about move/OC:
* You will be a lot further from home than you imagine. 10-11 hour flight home and expensive for a family of 4 to travel back. 8 hour time difference is a bloody killer. When you begin your day theirs is coming to an end. It makes it tough to keep up regular communication with home/friends/family.
* Unless you are very sociable and thick skinned it can be tough to make friends here. There is an expat community ( and we're fabulous!) and it does help to have people who have an understanding of what you are going through. That said I have some expat friends who have a big circle of American friends - but coincidentally they have younger children.
* You WILL be homesick at times - If you are lucky it won't be so bad that you need to medicate yourself ( or is that just me
). You WILL question at some points whether you have done the right thing. You WILL have some low points that you will have to overcome. * The OC - Did you ever see the show The Real Housewives of OC. These women do exist. They are real and they are scary and they are plentiful. Not all OC housewives are like this.......................... I am going to stick my neck out here and say that I haven't yet met an American here were I live, be it a neighbour, at a place of work or a friend of a friend that I have thought I could become good friends with. That said I am quite peculiar
* Seeing as it is Christmas time - If you are a person who enjoys Christmas, the snow/cold, the over flowing social calender during the festive season, the hussle and bustle of preparations for family and friends visiting - then you will find it tough during this time. Really tough. It's nothing like Christmas at home. And if you can't afford to go home at this time of year it is likely to be one of the toughest times of the year for you.
* Your Children will not have their extended family around them. If this is important to you then this will be tough. Especially at the age your children are.
* Californians LOVE a bit of paperwork - I cannot over exaggerate the amount of paperwork you will have to deal with. For everything. Your post box will be over flowing everyday. And it's a pain in the @rse!
* It is expensive to live here. Initially you will convert everything back to the pound, but you will learn not to do that. Groceries tend to be more expensive, I feel, but of course some things are cheaper. Gas (petrol) for one.
* You will drive to get just about everywhere. The positive to this is that driving is very easy here.
* TV is Sh!te.
Positives about the move/OC:
* Weather - its does make a difference. You can organise an outdoor get together in advance (if you have found friends that is!) There are some beautiful spots here in the OC.
* You will be 20-30 minutes from the beach - an hour to San Diego
- and 45 mins (depending on traffic) to LA. It's just over an hour to the mountains where you can go and ski in the winter. * Vegas is a 4-5 hour drive, if you like that sort of thing. Santa Barbara and even San Francisco are not so far that you can't take a drive for a weekend or few days.
* It's a very laid back sort of lifestyle. Shopping Malls are plentiful - You never ever have to worry about finding a parking spot.
* It's clean - very clean.. If you ever saw The Truman Show then it's kinda like that, seriously.
* I feel my children have a great life style here. I think this has been an experience that has changed the type of people they will be. It was very very difficult for my youngest (son) in the beginning but he has adapted fantastically. I genuinely didn't believe in the beginning he would ever settle, but kids are so much more adaptable than us 'grown ups'! My kids have experienced things they never would have back home.
* If you do find friends, be them Expats or locals it will make all the difference. It will happen, but it may take a little longer than you hope for. There are all sorts of activities, clubs etc you can get yourself involved in - and thats the key - you must get involved. I didn't and I didn't meet people. Then I did and I met people. It's that simple.
* Your 'spare time' as a family can be great. Day trips to the beach, LA, San Diego, Mountains, hiking etc. We do so much more here than we ever did in the UK. Not that the UK hasn't got fantastic things to offer - but you almost feel you have to explore here, you don't know how long you'll be here and it would be criminal not to! ( Funny though, because now I can't help feeling how ridiculous it is that we didn't explore more of the UK!)
I started typing this 2 hours ago - In between cooking dinner and seeing to the kids and a million interruptions. I just re read it and it's kinda lame to be honest. There are far more important pros & cons! But anyway, there's my brief, interrupted, wine induced contribution. If there is anything you want to ask please feel free to PM me.
Best of luck with your decision. It's tough. I think if I were you, knowing what I know and having been through it, I'd say go for it. If you're tough and can see it as potentially a couple/few years out of your life to try something only some can, then give it a go. ( And I say all that whilst feeling particularly homesick at the moment)
Still.......not decided!!! Stress!!!!
Dec 19th 2010, 12:53 am
#95
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 26
Re: Hi, advice on H4 visa and CA/Irvine life needed
Hi!
I know I'm coming very late to this thread, and I'm guessing that you've had to make the big decision by now, but I just wanted to add a few things about my own experience.
We actually live in Irvine, I'm on a H4 visa, and my husband is on a significantly lower salary than yours and we cope absolutely fine! Granted we don't have children yet (one on the way actually!), which I know is a big factor, but I just wanted to let you know that we're very happy here, I've made plenty of friends and I don't feel isolated at all.
There are downsides of course, but on the whole I just wanted you to know that it was the best decision we could have made and I don't regret it one bit. We've been here over a year now and no, I can't work, but I keep myself busy by studying and volunteering and I love it.
Before anyone jumps on me, I'm not trying to make out everything's perfect and wonderful all of the time, but there's a lot of doom and gloom about being an H4 spouse and I just want to say that in my own experience, it's what you make of it, and if you're determined to have a positive experience here, then it can be done quite easily (even on the salary we're on!).
That's all. If you want a contact in Irvine when you first get here, let me know!
I know I'm coming very late to this thread, and I'm guessing that you've had to make the big decision by now, but I just wanted to add a few things about my own experience.
We actually live in Irvine, I'm on a H4 visa, and my husband is on a significantly lower salary than yours and we cope absolutely fine! Granted we don't have children yet (one on the way actually!), which I know is a big factor, but I just wanted to let you know that we're very happy here, I've made plenty of friends and I don't feel isolated at all.
There are downsides of course, but on the whole I just wanted you to know that it was the best decision we could have made and I don't regret it one bit. We've been here over a year now and no, I can't work, but I keep myself busy by studying and volunteering and I love it.
Before anyone jumps on me, I'm not trying to make out everything's perfect and wonderful all of the time, but there's a lot of doom and gloom about being an H4 spouse and I just want to say that in my own experience, it's what you make of it, and if you're determined to have a positive experience here, then it can be done quite easily (even on the salary we're on!).
That's all. If you want a contact in Irvine when you first get here, let me know!
We are still in decision phase and its soooooo stressful right now.
I will definately contact if we make the move!!!
S
Dec 19th 2010, 3:12 am
#96
The Kwisatz Haderach
Joined: Aug 2008
Location: North Wales
Posts: 8,080
Re: Hi, advice on H4 visa and CA/Irvine life needed
I have lived in the OC for 3.5 years. Our children were much older than yours when we moved here - 11, 12 and 17 (tougher ages).
If I could sum up how I feel about our experience - I am really glad we did it but I wish I had asked all the questions you are. I wish I knew just had hard it would be at times and realised how life changing it would be and the questions it would make you ask about yourself and what you want for your life.
It's an incredible experience and one that has changed our family forever.
Irvine is a nice place.. has nice residential areas to it but is quite commercial. All of the British Expats I know here where shown rentals in Irvine along with other areas, and none of them chose to live there. I live in Mission Viejo and the other 'Brits' live in surrounding cities - Lake Forest, Rancho Santa Margarita and Ladera Ranch. commute time anywhere from 10 to 20 minutes from any of those cities to Irvine.
Remember this is the OC not LA. There is a difference. Lifestyle, Traffic, people. It's different.
Negatives about move/OC:
* You will be a lot further from home than you imagine. 10-11 hour flight home and expensive for a family of 4 to travel back. 8 hour time difference is a bloody killer. When you begin your day theirs is coming to an end. It makes it tough to keep up regular communication with home/friends/family.
* Unless you are very sociable and thick skinned it can be tough to make friends here. There is an expat community ( and we're fabulous!) and it does help to have people who have an understanding of what you are going through. That said I have some expat friends who have a big circle of American friends - but coincidentally they have younger children.
* You WILL be homesick at times - If you are lucky it won't be so bad that you need to medicate yourself ( or is that just me). You WILL question at some points whether you have done the right thing. You WILL have some low points that you will have to overcome.
* The OC - Did you ever see the show The Real Housewives of OC. These women do exist. They are real and they are scary and they are plentiful. Not all OC housewives are like this.......................... I am going to stick my neck out here and say that I haven't yet met an American here were I live, be it a neighbour, at a place of work or a friend of a friend that I have thought I could become good friends with. That said I am quite peculiar
* Seeing as it is Christmas time - If you are a person who enjoys Christmas, the snow/cold, the over flowing social calender during the festive season, the hussle and bustle of preparations for family and friends visiting - then you will find it tough during this time. Really tough. It's nothing like Christmas at home. And if you can't afford to go home at this time of year it is likely to be one of the toughest times of the year for you.
* Your Children will not have their extended family around them. If this is important to you then this will be tough. Especially at the age your children are.
* Californians LOVE a bit of paperwork - I cannot over exaggerate the amount of paperwork you will have to deal with. For everything. Your post box will be over flowing everyday. And it's a pain in the @rse!
* It is expensive to live here. Initially you will convert everything back to the pound, but you will learn not to do that. Groceries tend to be more expensive, I feel, but of course some things are cheaper. Gas (petrol) for one.
* You will drive to get just about everywhere. The positive to this is that driving is very easy here.
* TV is Sh!te.
Positives about the move/OC:
* Weather - its does make a difference. You can organise an outdoor get together in advance (if you have found friends that is!) There are some beautiful spots here in the OC.
* You will be 20-30 minutes from the beach - an hour to San Diego - and 45 mins (depending on traffic) to LA. It's just over an hour to the mountains where you can go and ski in the winter.
* Vegas is a 4-5 hour drive, if you like that sort of thing. Santa Barbara and even San Francisco are not so far that you can't take a drive for a weekend or few days.
* It's a very laid back sort of lifestyle. Shopping Malls are plentiful - You never ever have to worry about finding a parking spot.
* It's clean - very clean.. If you ever saw The Truman Show then it's kinda like that, seriously.
* I feel my children have a great life style here. I think this has been an experience that has changed the type of people they will be. It was very very difficult for my youngest (son) in the beginning but he has adapted fantastically. I genuinely didn't believe in the beginning he would ever settle, but kids are so much more adaptable than us 'grown ups'! My kids have experienced things they never would have back home.
* If you do find friends, be them Expats or locals it will make all the difference. It will happen, but it may take a little longer than you hope for. There are all sorts of activities, clubs etc you can get yourself involved in - and thats the key - you must get involved. I didn't and I didn't meet people. Then I did and I met people. It's that simple.
* Your 'spare time' as a family can be great. Day trips to the beach, LA, San Diego, Mountains, hiking etc. We do so much more here than we ever did in the UK. Not that the UK hasn't got fantastic things to offer - but you almost feel you have to explore here, you don't know how long you'll be here and it would be criminal not to! ( Funny though, because now I can't help feeling how ridiculous it is that we didn't explore more of the UK!)
I started typing this 2 hours ago - In between cooking dinner and seeing to the kids and a million interruptions. I just re read it and it's kinda lame to be honest. There are far more important pros & cons! But anyway, there's my brief, interrupted, wine induced contribution. If there is anything you want to ask please feel free to PM me.
Best of luck with your decision. It's tough. I think if I were you, knowing what I know and having been through it, I'd say go for it. If you're tough and can see it as potentially a couple/few years out of your life to try something only some can, then give it a go. ( And I say all that whilst feeling particularly homesick at the moment)
If I could sum up how I feel about our experience - I am really glad we did it but I wish I had asked all the questions you are. I wish I knew just had hard it would be at times and realised how life changing it would be and the questions it would make you ask about yourself and what you want for your life.
It's an incredible experience and one that has changed our family forever.
Irvine is a nice place.. has nice residential areas to it but is quite commercial. All of the British Expats I know here where shown rentals in Irvine along with other areas, and none of them chose to live there. I live in Mission Viejo and the other 'Brits' live in surrounding cities - Lake Forest, Rancho Santa Margarita and Ladera Ranch. commute time anywhere from 10 to 20 minutes from any of those cities to Irvine.
Remember this is the OC not LA. There is a difference. Lifestyle, Traffic, people. It's different.
Negatives about move/OC:
* You will be a lot further from home than you imagine. 10-11 hour flight home and expensive for a family of 4 to travel back. 8 hour time difference is a bloody killer. When you begin your day theirs is coming to an end. It makes it tough to keep up regular communication with home/friends/family.
* Unless you are very sociable and thick skinned it can be tough to make friends here. There is an expat community ( and we're fabulous!) and it does help to have people who have an understanding of what you are going through. That said I have some expat friends who have a big circle of American friends - but coincidentally they have younger children.
* You WILL be homesick at times - If you are lucky it won't be so bad that you need to medicate yourself ( or is that just me
). You WILL question at some points whether you have done the right thing. You WILL have some low points that you will have to overcome. * The OC - Did you ever see the show The Real Housewives of OC. These women do exist. They are real and they are scary and they are plentiful. Not all OC housewives are like this.......................... I am going to stick my neck out here and say that I haven't yet met an American here were I live, be it a neighbour, at a place of work or a friend of a friend that I have thought I could become good friends with. That said I am quite peculiar
* Seeing as it is Christmas time - If you are a person who enjoys Christmas, the snow/cold, the over flowing social calender during the festive season, the hussle and bustle of preparations for family and friends visiting - then you will find it tough during this time. Really tough. It's nothing like Christmas at home. And if you can't afford to go home at this time of year it is likely to be one of the toughest times of the year for you.
* Your Children will not have their extended family around them. If this is important to you then this will be tough. Especially at the age your children are.
* Californians LOVE a bit of paperwork - I cannot over exaggerate the amount of paperwork you will have to deal with. For everything. Your post box will be over flowing everyday. And it's a pain in the @rse!
* It is expensive to live here. Initially you will convert everything back to the pound, but you will learn not to do that. Groceries tend to be more expensive, I feel, but of course some things are cheaper. Gas (petrol) for one.
* You will drive to get just about everywhere. The positive to this is that driving is very easy here.
* TV is Sh!te.
Positives about the move/OC:
* Weather - its does make a difference. You can organise an outdoor get together in advance (if you have found friends that is!) There are some beautiful spots here in the OC.
* You will be 20-30 minutes from the beach - an hour to San Diego
- and 45 mins (depending on traffic) to LA. It's just over an hour to the mountains where you can go and ski in the winter. * Vegas is a 4-5 hour drive, if you like that sort of thing. Santa Barbara and even San Francisco are not so far that you can't take a drive for a weekend or few days.
* It's a very laid back sort of lifestyle. Shopping Malls are plentiful - You never ever have to worry about finding a parking spot.
* It's clean - very clean.. If you ever saw The Truman Show then it's kinda like that, seriously.
* I feel my children have a great life style here. I think this has been an experience that has changed the type of people they will be. It was very very difficult for my youngest (son) in the beginning but he has adapted fantastically. I genuinely didn't believe in the beginning he would ever settle, but kids are so much more adaptable than us 'grown ups'! My kids have experienced things they never would have back home.
* If you do find friends, be them Expats or locals it will make all the difference. It will happen, but it may take a little longer than you hope for. There are all sorts of activities, clubs etc you can get yourself involved in - and thats the key - you must get involved. I didn't and I didn't meet people. Then I did and I met people. It's that simple.
* Your 'spare time' as a family can be great. Day trips to the beach, LA, San Diego, Mountains, hiking etc. We do so much more here than we ever did in the UK. Not that the UK hasn't got fantastic things to offer - but you almost feel you have to explore here, you don't know how long you'll be here and it would be criminal not to! ( Funny though, because now I can't help feeling how ridiculous it is that we didn't explore more of the UK!)
I started typing this 2 hours ago - In between cooking dinner and seeing to the kids and a million interruptions. I just re read it and it's kinda lame to be honest. There are far more important pros & cons! But anyway, there's my brief, interrupted, wine induced contribution. If there is anything you want to ask please feel free to PM me.
Best of luck with your decision. It's tough. I think if I were you, knowing what I know and having been through it, I'd say go for it. If you're tough and can see it as potentially a couple/few years out of your life to try something only some can, then give it a go. ( And I say all that whilst feeling particularly homesick at the moment)
We are a lot further north than OC and the money your Dh was offered would allow a comfortable life with you at home in our neighborhood, but I don't see that amount making things very easy in the OC.
We've been here a looong time, child number three has started school, number one son is finished with school and Uni and number 2 is almost done with high school.
We are looking to move back to UK once #2 graduates. I worry Dd (age5) will be far behind her UK school mates once we arrive, and we are in a good school district.
Things are really tough in CA right now, I'm a nurse and can't even get an interview where a few years back I could just walk into jobs no problem.
Here we get hotter than the south so have months of summer where it's too hot to play outside. We have small windows where outdoor things are great, then the wind and cold arrive and we are back indoors.
One thing that totally shocks my UK friends when I tell them that makes me laugh, I have to get up at 5.55am daily to get kids off to school, Kindergarten classes start at 7.35am and school is done at 2pm. Just thought Id mention that one. When I used to take Ds to UK school I got up at 7am and slowly got ready and dropped him off at 10 to 9 and still got into work at 9am. Things are so far away from each other here, gas is cheaper but we use a lot more of it, bigger cars and longer drives.
On the health care front, we pay nothing monthly for cover, Dh's work covers it all, part of his contract, we do pay 20% of each visit till the deductible is met then we are covered 100% to the end of the year, we have two more doctor visits scheduled in the next two weeks before the new year to take advantage of that. (we have Anthem Blue cross and a good plan at that)
For us the hardest thing has been family being so far away, my mother comes to stay for a couple months at a time now she has retired, that is tough. I'd rather see her for dinner or shopping weekly than live together for a couple months at a time just so we can stay connected.
Till she retired we saw her and step dad every two years for a couple of weeks, that takes a toll on the relationship with the grand children.
Dd knows her better than the boys ever did as she retired not long after Dd was born.
It's been hard not being able to have family around to have kids over night or come to birthdays. We call and chat a lot but thats not the same, neither is skype.
