usoruk

Have not been on a while, but still love reading posts, need a bit of help. Posted a while back re: living in AZ and missing home alot. I received some helpful feed back, but am still struggling with getting used to the US, especially AZ.
Just to recap, been in US about 13 years, 6 in NJ, the last 7 years in AZ. Hubby is American and kids born in the US. I was doing well with living in the US for the most part, missed family, shops, food etc. But the last 4 years or so have been really difficult in terms of settling in AZ and missing home.
I feel living NJ helped with blotting out alot of the environmental things I missed, like the greenery, 4 seasons, hustle and bustle of life. But now I am missing everything from, the quaint villages, scenic lush countryside, walkabililty, high streets with all the fave shops/cafes, cobblestreets, seasides, cheap picturesque days out, old historic buildings with a story to tell, castles, seeing people walk around, even the weather! etc. (just check out pictures of England.com and you'll know what I mean!! )What is going on?
Is it AZ or am I due a visit home?It has been about 4 years.
AZ is hot, hot , hot, with spring, autumn and winter all rolled into 3 months of the year. In march it was already in 80's! Almost 100 degrees now with no break. It's just in and out of a hot car at various strip malls, hiding from the sun, No walkability, don't see anybody on the footpaths or even kids playing anywhere! Just lots of desert. I feel like a bat, I only come out at night to avoid the intense sun and heat!! People are either in malls, restaurants or sitting in their homes. I am missing the lifestyle back home. Moving back is not an option, too expensive, will be difficult for family to adjust, hard to swallow, but as my family back in the UK keep telling me, home is not like it used to be. But how can I somehow bring that little bit of England here to a hot, dry desert. Any fellow Brits in AZ, how are you guys adjusting to the culture shock here? Also, our other option is moving to Colorado, as hubby does not want to go back to east coast. Had a very short visit there last year, Boulder seemed greener than AZ, more hustle and bustle, but is Colorado just like any other suburban place in the US or is it a little better in terms of weather, lifestyle. Where would be a great family place to live in CO?
Sorry that I have rambled on. I finally feel that I have to make a go of adjusting to the US but how to adjust to AZ. I don't want to be miserable here forever and I don't want to uproot the family and move somewhere else and I still feel like this. Please advise, thnx

chrisfromusa

Sorry to hear you're going through this Well, in terms of the weather, I heard the western parts of Washington like Seattle, has enough rain (20 odd inches a year) and the weather overall resembles England's, and Seattle is a big city. Would you think your husband would like it there?

Steerpike

For a recent arrival from UK, especially if you suffer culture shock, AZ is not the first place I'd recommend.

The west coast is where you should head, northern end - both for culture and weather. Washington and Oregon have the green and rain you miss, and cities like Seattle and Portland have the 'hustle and bustle'. Others here can tell you about which small towns also have the vibe.

I would personally recommend the San Francisco Bay Area, as I know it the best, and I personally feel the weather there is far superior to that in Oregon/Washington - much less rain, but still a good dose of it in the winter to make things green. The only downside is the cost - it's not easy to get 'into' the Bay Area unless you have a good income. But the place is full of walkable towns and cities, and very cosmopolitan.

Colorado is probably an even-lower cost alternative to Washington/Oregon, but you will get more brutal winters, and hotter summers - though not as bad as NJ. Colorado is definitely cooler than AZ!

Speaking of AZ - after 26 years in the Bay Area, I've been living in Scottsdale for the past year and I love it. I enjoy the desert landscape, and there is enough rain for me (love those late summer monsoons!). I feel that the weather is 'perfect' for about 8 months of the year (October through May) - 80s in AZ feels like 60s most other places, due to the low humidity. It does get too hot in June/July/Aug/Sept during the day, but I love the nights once the sun goes down. But if you feel otherwise, then AZ (Phoenix area) is not for you! Of course, there's Sedona, Prescott, Payson, Show Low, etc - all much, much cooler but not exactly major cities.

What is your / your husband's line of work?

PS - do go back to UK for a visit - many times, it reminds you of why you left! I go back very infrequently now, and when I do, I don't like it. If I'm going to sit on a plane for 14 hours I'm going to Italy where the weather is better, the food is outstanding, and the people are lively!

sir_eccles

I moved to AZ last July after 3 yrs in NYC. It is certainly a different pace of life here. My wife has family here which has made the transition easier but as I work from home it is pretty tricky for me to integrate.

As for the weather, while it is hot and becoming scorchingly so right now I much prefer warmth to cold damp drearyness that eats away at your bones.

usoruk

Thanks for all your feedback. West coast would feel physically too far from the UK, although I know the North West is beautiful. Is Colorado really that brutal in the winter, I heard the snow melts pretty quickly due to the high altitude. Would the sun be more intense then in the summer. I am nervous of sunny weather now that I have spent many sunny years in AZ. For those of you living in AZ, I still don't get how the Brits, coming from such a walkable, green, historic country can adjust to AZ. Please tell how you do it. Thanx

meauxna

I am puzzled.. how do they do it? They adapt. You've been there 7 years to acclimatize. I can appreciate that the first year is a bear, but overwintering usually does it. Maybe the relocators didn't like the walkable, green part of the UK? (Arizona is plenty historic)
And as far as the West Coast being too far from the UK.. it's been 4 years since you were back as it is. Is that a perception problem?

One thing I can tell you about the NW; you rarely read complaints from the expats who live there, in fact, you rarely read them at all, and they don't tend to club together. Every one of them I've asked about this say they're totally content with life in this part of the US. My UKC spouse is firmly settled here & really feels like he fits in.

I don't have a problem with any of your objections, just that the way they are put together, I wonder if those things are what the problem is?
I'd definitely clue your husband in on it; he may have ideas about moving somewhere else that you hadn't considered and if he hasn't, he deserves to know how unsettled you feel today.

Giantaxe

It's 5256 miles from Phoenix to London, 5350 from San Francisco to London and 4784 miles from Seattle to London. Go anywhere on the west coast north of California and you're actually moving nearer to London

Steerpike

That makes NO sense! It's easier to get to UK from San Francisco and LA because they have lots of direct flights. PHX has fewer direct flights and is no closer due to the flights taking 'great circle' routes. It's only 500 miles (plus or minus) to the coast from PHX ...

I despise the rain - especially the particular kind of rain you get in England -constant drizzle, complete lack of sunshine. I find it cold and damp there most of the time. I love all the cactii we have here in Phoenix - Saguaro, Cholla, and hundreds more. I love the delicate trees that grow here. I love the burst of color we have right now in the desert. It's all about enjoying something for what it is, not what it isn't.

The west coast of the US is fantastic, and has dozens and dozens of walkable towns and cities, and is visually/culturally much closer to UK - go to Cambria on the CA coast, or Mendocino, as examples. It's crazy to rule it out because of 'distance'!

There is a wonderful history here in the US; it is a different KIND of history, but it is history nonetheless. While people in UK were sitting comfortably in houses, people in the US were making the great move westward in wagons, fighting Indians, building railroads, crossing massive mountain ranges and settling massive areas of land. The big civil rights issue was history; putting a man on the moon was history. England has been relatively boring from a history perspective in the last few hundred years (they had to go overseas to make that kind of history).

Have you driven up to Show Low from Phoenix? Or to Flagstaff? Both places offer snow, and alpine forest, just 2 hours or less from Phoenix. Have you been to Sedona? There is nothing like Sedona in UK! Monument Valley? Let's not even mention the Grand Canyon ...

fatbrit

How bloody fast do you drive?!??!?!!!

I've made Show Low in 3 hours dead before now. Two hours would require an average of a touch over 100 mph!

Zonie

I just think of all those drizzle soaked miserable people in England who sometimes have to go days and days without sunshine and decent customer service.

Steerpike

It's my hairdresser car

Honestly, I've never timed it - I LOVE that drive - one of my all-time favorites. I'm probably thinking of the drive-time from Globe to Show Low, which is the best part - though it's not bad for a while outside of Globe on the way to Phoenix, also (it gets boring at Superior, perhaps?). I also love the drive from PHX to Payson; PHX to Wikieup on 93 is nice, and even 17 up to Flagstaff is pretty decent. I really want to start exploring the foothills on the way down from Globe to Tucson - so many roads, so little time !!! My g/f is here for the next three weeks from CA, so we are going to be exploring on the weekends.

sir_eccles

Have you ever done Prescott to Jerome on AZ-89A, now that's a drive.

lapin_windstar

Hi there. Sorry to hear this. I don't think there's anything wrong with not liking AZ particularly even though other people who have posted here love it - different strokes for different folks, after all. You've been in AZ and the US for a while, as well, and people's tastes/ desires/ interests change as they grow and their family grows. That's OK, too.

Maybe a change of scenery would help after all - CO does have a serious winter and I know people who live there and love it. And OTOH, I know people who live in the desert and love it too.

Have you considered speaking to a counsellor? It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, just that it might be helpful to speak to someone who can listen and advise you (after all, counsellor is just a synonym for advisor).

fatbrit

And quite suitable for his poncemobile.

fatbrit

Next time you head up the 10, detour through the town of Superior -- it's like a movie set.