help with question
Nov 26th 2003, 4:49 am
#1
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Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 9
help with question
hi everyone i am new to this site. here is my situation. I have been married to someone who is from the west indies.We have been married for several years now and have 3 children. He is verbally abusive to me and the children . The abuse has caused me to have depression and other physical illnesses. I recently filled for an order of protection and asked for him to be excluded from the house. The judge granted me a temporary order of protection and allowed him to live in the home. I have decided that i want a divorce but i was wandering if i divorced him will he still be able to apply for citizenship by himself or if he remarries. I forgot to state that he is working and has a business. Can someone please help me with this?
Nov 26th 2003, 5:24 am
#2
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Posts: n/a
While I sympathise with anyone who suffers abuse - reading between the lines it does rather sound like what you want is revenge - i.e. I'm gonna divorce you - and now you won't get citizenship and you will be deported and lose your business.
Even if I wanted to give you some advice you would have to give more details like - what country are you a citizen of - where are you living - the more details the better - except please - not the exact details of the abuse. Some of our readers are sensitive souls.
Bear in mind this is a website for BRITISH EXPATS as far as I can tell - though I am a newcomer here myself. So how would you or your hubby fit into this?
Contrary to popular rumour (PULASKI) I am not French.
Please feel free to email me at [email protected] and be sure to mark your email " Aunt Jean's Agony Page".
Even if I wanted to give you some advice you would have to give more details like - what country are you a citizen of - where are you living - the more details the better - except please - not the exact details of the abuse. Some of our readers are sensitive souls.
Bear in mind this is a website for BRITISH EXPATS as far as I can tell - though I am a newcomer here myself. So how would you or your hubby fit into this?
Contrary to popular rumour (PULASKI) I am not French.
Please feel free to email me at [email protected] and be sure to mark your email " Aunt Jean's Agony Page".
Nov 26th 2003, 11:26 am
#3
Joined: Dec 2001
Location: Dixie, ex UK
Posts: 52,439
If he has been married to you and resident in the US for the last three years, then he almost certainly can apply for US citizenship. An as far as I can tell there is little, if anything, that you can do about it. Unless the INS decides that he entered a sham mariage, for the purpose of obtianing a visa then even if you divorce him he would still, in all probability, get citizenship. Even if he were denied citizenship there are still ways that somebody can remian indefinitely in the USA if they are running a business.
If, as JDP suggested, you are after revenge then I'd suggest that you are going to be disappointed, and turn a sadly all too common divorce into a battleground.
Hey, does that mean I'm popular? 
Sorry Jean, no offence meant, I just having a dig the other day. Can we be friends?
Cheers!
Pulaski
If, as JDP suggested, you are after revenge then I'd suggest that you are going to be disappointed, and turn a sadly all too common divorce into a battleground.
Originally posted by JeanDupont
..... Contrary to popular rumour (PULASKI) .....
..... Contrary to popular rumour (PULASKI) .....
Sorry Jean, no offence meant, I just having a dig the other day. Can we be friends?
Cheers!
Pulaski
Nov 27th 2003, 5:04 pm
#4
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 9
jean you clearly misunderstood my post. have you been abuse? so If you have not walked a minute in my shoes then you can't even possibly understand what i am going through. so stop being so judgemental and try and and keep and open mind about what i'm writing about. i am not being angry besides the reason that I got the order of protection is because he told me in front of my kids that he was going to stab me in my C@#t. So if me wanting to divorce a man who has been abusive to me and the kids is a way of getting revenge to you.. then hey i would like to know what is this world comin to jean?! I live in the us.
Last edited by cperez; Nov 29th 2003 at 6:00 am.
Nov 27th 2003, 5:06 pm
#5
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Joined: Nov 2003
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oh jean i forgot to mention that your right this is a british website but the last time i checked the web was for any one with a computer. Don't you think so!?
Nov 27th 2003, 5:20 pm
#6
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 9
Hey polaski thanx for the advice instead of being judgemental like jean. I will keep that in mind. My husband would always threaten sort os kind of forcing the fact i can't work because i am disabled and how the state would take away the kids if he was deported. You know playing really sick mind games. He would also say stuff like if i would get so sick were as i would have to be hospitalized sor depression(because when you get hospitalized with depression you are placed in the psychiatric ward) that would give him ground to take away the kids. For years he would always tell me things like that. Hey i am the citizen here nor him. The new year is coming and i have decided to take a stand and not take his abuse any more. That is all its not about revenge.
Nov 27th 2003, 6:42 pm
#7
Forum Regular
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 201
Jean Dupont? My, that name rings a bell...where you ever in Nebraska..your hubby an officer in the USAF?
Last edited by Poshpaws; Nov 27th 2003 at 7:02 pm.
Nov 27th 2003, 6:51 pm
#8
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Posts: n/a
I did sympathise with cperez but its getting less now since the one thing I asked her NOT to do - she straightaway DID do.
Is this what she is like in her marriage?
Did we really need to know the details of the abuse including her use of a crude term for a part of her anatomy which could be described in a different way?
If she rants and raves and is as contrary with her hubby as she is on this board then he might (they all might) be better off divorced.
In spite of all that I do not support any abuser - but I also know that there are usually two sides to every coin and a person who is abused sometimes can provoke it or make it worse- not that that is ANY excuse for the abuser.
Just because I have not been abused does not mean I cannot understand it - that would be like saying someone who has not been murdered cannot understand murder.
So, Cperez, get your abusive husband to complete his citizenship then divorce him - and try to live as happily as you can afterwards.
Oh and Pulaski -- I would be honored to count you amongst my friends - I found something about you (well I think its you?? ) on
the internet just this morning - what a humanitarian you really are - and so talented. But also - you must be getting on a bit?
Is this what she is like in her marriage?
Did we really need to know the details of the abuse including her use of a crude term for a part of her anatomy which could be described in a different way?
If she rants and raves and is as contrary with her hubby as she is on this board then he might (they all might) be better off divorced.
In spite of all that I do not support any abuser - but I also know that there are usually two sides to every coin and a person who is abused sometimes can provoke it or make it worse- not that that is ANY excuse for the abuser.
Just because I have not been abused does not mean I cannot understand it - that would be like saying someone who has not been murdered cannot understand murder.
So, Cperez, get your abusive husband to complete his citizenship then divorce him - and try to live as happily as you can afterwards.
Oh and Pulaski -- I would be honored to count you amongst my friends - I found something about you (well I think its you?? ) on
the internet just this morning - what a humanitarian you really are - and so talented. But also - you must be getting on a bit?
Nov 27th 2003, 6:53 pm
#9
Guest
Posts: n/a
Poshpaws - you are close to discovering one of my secrets - but for reasons of National Security I cannot say more.
Nov 27th 2003, 7:06 pm
#10
Forum Regular
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 201
Jean,
Nope, you're not the one I had in mind from Nebraska, her last name was Bolsom. However, I do think we may have met once in Sacto. Do you know a Marina Wilson?
Nope, you're not the one I had in mind from Nebraska, her last name was Bolsom. However, I do think we may have met once in Sacto. Do you know a Marina Wilson?
Nov 27th 2003, 7:14 pm
#11
Under Achiever
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 185
Originally posted by JeanDupont
I did sympathise with cperez but its getting less now since the one thing I asked her NOT to do - she straightaway DID do.
Is this what she is like in her marriage?
Did we really need to know the details of the abuse including her use of a crude term for a part of her anatomy which could be described in a different way?
If she rants and raves and is as contrary with her hubby as she is on this board then he might (they all might) be better off divorced.
In spite of all that I do not support any abuser - but I also know that there are usually two sides to every coin and a person who is abused sometimes can provoke it or make it worse- not that that is ANY excuse for the abuser.
Just because I have not been abused does not mean I cannot understand it - that would be like saying someone who has not been murdered cannot understand murder.
So, Cperez, get your abusive husband to complete his citizenship then divorce him - and try to live as happily as you can afterwards.
Oh and Pulaski -- I would be honored to count you amongst my friends - I found something about you (well I think its you?? ) on
the internet just this morning - what a humanitarian you really are - and so talented. But also - you must be getting on a bit?
I did sympathise with cperez but its getting less now since the one thing I asked her NOT to do - she straightaway DID do.
Is this what she is like in her marriage?
Did we really need to know the details of the abuse including her use of a crude term for a part of her anatomy which could be described in a different way?
If she rants and raves and is as contrary with her hubby as she is on this board then he might (they all might) be better off divorced.
In spite of all that I do not support any abuser - but I also know that there are usually two sides to every coin and a person who is abused sometimes can provoke it or make it worse- not that that is ANY excuse for the abuser.
Just because I have not been abused does not mean I cannot understand it - that would be like saying someone who has not been murdered cannot understand murder.
So, Cperez, get your abusive husband to complete his citizenship then divorce him - and try to live as happily as you can afterwards.
Oh and Pulaski -- I would be honored to count you amongst my friends - I found something about you (well I think its you?? ) on
the internet just this morning - what a humanitarian you really are - and so talented. But also - you must be getting on a bit?
Could Pulaski be related to Casimir Pulaski the father of American Cavalry and also have a lafayette class submarine name after him.
The mind boggles, but is truly an interesting name to look up
Nov 27th 2003, 8:02 pm
#12
Guest
Posts: n/a
Hey Poshpaws - I once knew a Marine by the name of Wilson - that certainly takes me back - not quite what you meant though I guess -
Nov 27th 2003, 11:05 pm
#13
Joined: Dec 2001
Location: Dixie, ex UK
Posts: 52,439
Originally posted by dudleydowg
Could Pulaski be related to Casimir Pulaski .....
Could Pulaski be related to Casimir Pulaski .....
Nov 28th 2003, 1:19 am
#14
British/Irish(ish) Duncs
Joined: Jan 2003
Location: Cambridge MA, via Mississippi and Belfast Northern Ireland.
Posts: 700
Re: help with question
Originally posted by cperez
hi everyone i am new to this site. here is my situation. I have been married to someone who is from the west indies.We have been married for several years now and have 3 children. He is verbally abusive to me and the children . The abuse has caused me to have depression and other physical illnesses. I recently filled for an order of protection and asked for him to be excluded from the house. The judge granted me a temporary order of protection and allowed him to live in the home. I have decided that i want a divorce but i was wandering if i divorced him will he still be able to apply for citizenship by himself or if he remarries. I forgot to state that he is working and has a business. Can someone please help me with this?
hi everyone i am new to this site. here is my situation. I have been married to someone who is from the west indies.We have been married for several years now and have 3 children. He is verbally abusive to me and the children . The abuse has caused me to have depression and other physical illnesses. I recently filled for an order of protection and asked for him to be excluded from the house. The judge granted me a temporary order of protection and allowed him to live in the home. I have decided that i want a divorce but i was wandering if i divorced him will he still be able to apply for citizenship by himself or if he remarries. I forgot to state that he is working and has a business. Can someone please help me with this?
regards,
Duncan
Nov 28th 2003, 4:49 am
#15
Forum Regular
Joined: Nov 2003
Location: New York
Posts: 53
Re: help with question
Originally posted by Duncs
Why does it matter? There is no excuse for abuse, never ever. get a good lawyer get a divorce and get a new life away from your abusive partner. Who cares if he stays in the USA or not. i dont understand why you would give a damn what he does.
regards,
Duncan
Why does it matter? There is no excuse for abuse, never ever. get a good lawyer get a divorce and get a new life away from your abusive partner. Who cares if he stays in the USA or not. i dont understand why you would give a damn what he does.
regards,
Duncan