Help! Being apart sucks
Apr 9th 2004, 12:24 am
#1
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2004
Location: canada
Posts: 44
Help! Being apart sucks
Needing some advice here and don't know quite where to start even. Was born in Scotland in the '60's, moved to England as a baby and then came to Canada in 1976 with my parents. Took my Canadian citizenship when I was in university since I at that time I figured I'd stay in Canada. Married, divorced, had kids and am now a single mom. Took a course as an LPN in Ontario, and at time of graduation was when healthcare jobs in Canada were closing and those in US were openning up. My father was here though and so I took other work and stayed here to care for him. He has since married and I am now hoping to go back into the nursing field. Was looking at applying to various jobs over Canada and US and taking whatever came.
Then I met someone. Met him online. Been corresponding for a couple of years as friends and over the time we became close. Went down to visit him and we are now looking at marriage. We want to be together. Plain and simple. Yet there seems to be so many obstacles and such and we are needing help. Neither one of us are financially over the poverty line--we had figured we would both work and do what it takes to get by. Except it seems that the immigration laws don't seem to allow that door to be openned.
He works part time hours and lives and is full care taker of his 78 year old grandmother. If he worked more hours, he could not care adequately for her. I support my children--have done so working whatever jobs were necessary and because I chose to stay here and look after my father I went on assistance at times. Children are still small. Hence when my father recently married, it openned up potential doors to get back into the LPN field.
I would envision me and kids being down there, me working and helping with the care for the grandmother. We have visited each other and it hurts to be apart. I don't think I can just 'move' down there b/c I have the children to be considered and they would need permission or whatever to attend school. Yet he can't just 'move' here and leave his Grandmother with no care. I had hoped that I would be able to move down there, find work in my field--I have contacted the nursing board in his state of Arizona and have been assured there are many jobs down there and so long as I have fullfilled the requirements to nurse in Arizona I would be hirable. So now I am working at preparing for the NCLEX exam with the hopes that somewhere there will be light at the end of the tunnel.
We want to get married yet are unsure of where. We want the family unit to be down there with the grandmother yet because he doesn't make enough at his part time job to support us all, we are doubtful we would qualify for the marriage way for me to be with him.
Is there not a way for a two-parent family with BOTH parents capable and willing to work to be able to live together with the children in the United States? At this point I'm not even truly interested in immigration though am sure that would come eventually. I simply want us to be able to marry and be together as a family.
Please, if there is any information or help or ideas please help. The being apart situation is getting extremely painful.
Then I met someone. Met him online. Been corresponding for a couple of years as friends and over the time we became close. Went down to visit him and we are now looking at marriage. We want to be together. Plain and simple. Yet there seems to be so many obstacles and such and we are needing help. Neither one of us are financially over the poverty line--we had figured we would both work and do what it takes to get by. Except it seems that the immigration laws don't seem to allow that door to be openned.
He works part time hours and lives and is full care taker of his 78 year old grandmother. If he worked more hours, he could not care adequately for her. I support my children--have done so working whatever jobs were necessary and because I chose to stay here and look after my father I went on assistance at times. Children are still small. Hence when my father recently married, it openned up potential doors to get back into the LPN field.
I would envision me and kids being down there, me working and helping with the care for the grandmother. We have visited each other and it hurts to be apart. I don't think I can just 'move' down there b/c I have the children to be considered and they would need permission or whatever to attend school. Yet he can't just 'move' here and leave his Grandmother with no care. I had hoped that I would be able to move down there, find work in my field--I have contacted the nursing board in his state of Arizona and have been assured there are many jobs down there and so long as I have fullfilled the requirements to nurse in Arizona I would be hirable. So now I am working at preparing for the NCLEX exam with the hopes that somewhere there will be light at the end of the tunnel.
We want to get married yet are unsure of where. We want the family unit to be down there with the grandmother yet because he doesn't make enough at his part time job to support us all, we are doubtful we would qualify for the marriage way for me to be with him.
Is there not a way for a two-parent family with BOTH parents capable and willing to work to be able to live together with the children in the United States? At this point I'm not even truly interested in immigration though am sure that would come eventually. I simply want us to be able to marry and be together as a family.
Please, if there is any information or help or ideas please help. The being apart situation is getting extremely painful.
Apr 9th 2004, 12:43 am
#2
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 709
Marry him. File for gc. Live wherever you want. ta ta!
Or is your situation somehow unique that i'm not realizing?
-= nav =-
Or is your situation somehow unique that i'm not realizing?
-= nav =-
Apr 9th 2004, 1:05 am
#3
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2004
Location: canada
Posts: 44
Heh. situation is probably not unique other than the simple fact that because of taking care of elderly relative he does not make enough to support us all.
At the risk of sounding utterly stupid, I don't know exactly what gc is.
I apologize if the questions sound dumb or whatever. I have been looking at pages and pages of forms and questions and it all seems very confusing. I was sure there was a stipulation in there that meant he had to make a certain amount in order for the gc to be approved which he simply doesn't. If the border and the papers weren't there, would just be a question of me finding work down there--but that itty-bitty border thing is a biggie.
I'd read that once married and he applies for the greencard (is that what the gc is? ) then I should not apply for the work-visa or even the temporary status or NAFTA thingie (which was the origional plan should I gain work opportunity state side before we got together) whatever at the same time incase they think we are trying to evade immigration laws yet, in order for us to both be together we both have to be working.
This is the source of the anxiety.
At the risk of sounding utterly stupid, I don't know exactly what gc is.
I apologize if the questions sound dumb or whatever. I have been looking at pages and pages of forms and questions and it all seems very confusing. I was sure there was a stipulation in there that meant he had to make a certain amount in order for the gc to be approved which he simply doesn't. If the border and the papers weren't there, would just be a question of me finding work down there--but that itty-bitty border thing is a biggie.
I'd read that once married and he applies for the greencard (is that what the gc is? ) then I should not apply for the work-visa or even the temporary status or NAFTA thingie (which was the origional plan should I gain work opportunity state side before we got together) whatever at the same time incase they think we are trying to evade immigration laws yet, in order for us to both be together we both have to be working.
This is the source of the anxiety.
Apr 9th 2004, 1:46 am
#4
C.G.D.S
Joined: Nov 2003
Location: Ireland--->London--->Spain--->Rockport, MA
Posts: 3,353
A couple of people on this board have taken the nursing exam and moved to the US with success. Seems like your best course of action.
Apr 9th 2004, 6:45 am
#5
Rock Goddess
Joined: Jan 2003
Location: Connecticut USA
Posts: 1,429
Originally posted by sibsie
A couple of people on this board have taken the nursing exam and moved to the US with success. Seems like your best course of action.
A couple of people on this board have taken the nursing exam and moved to the US with success. Seems like your best course of action.
Apr 9th 2004, 8:02 am
#6
Account Closed
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 2
Sounds like you would need a sponsor as well if you will not meet the financial guidelines.
Does he have family that could oblige?
Then it would be a K1 Visa if you come as a Fiancee or a K3 if a wife.
The US system is very black and white, you either come here for a (short) holiday with clear intention of leaving or immigrate.
Does he have family that could oblige?
Then it would be a K1 Visa if you come as a Fiancee or a K3 if a wife.
The US system is very black and white, you either come here for a (short) holiday with clear intention of leaving or immigrate.
Last edited by scrubbedexpat099; Apr 9th 2004 at 8:05 am.
Apr 9th 2004, 10:49 am
#7
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Mar 2003
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,296
Originally posted by taira
Heh. situation is probably not unique other than the simple fact that because of taking care of elderly relative he does not make enough to support us all.
At the risk of sounding utterly stupid, I don't know exactly what gc is.
I apologize if the questions sound dumb or whatever. I have been looking at pages and pages of forms and questions and it all seems very confusing. I was sure there was a stipulation in there that meant he had to make a certain amount in order for the gc to be approved which he simply doesn't. If the border and the papers weren't there, would just be a question of me finding work down there--but that itty-bitty border thing is a biggie.
I'd read that once married and he applies for the greencard (is that what the gc is? ) then I should not apply for the work-visa or even the temporary status or NAFTA thingie (which was the origional plan should I gain work opportunity state side before we got together) whatever at the same time incase they think we are trying to evade immigration laws yet, in order for us to both be together we both have to be working.
This is the source of the anxiety.
Heh. situation is probably not unique other than the simple fact that because of taking care of elderly relative he does not make enough to support us all.
At the risk of sounding utterly stupid, I don't know exactly what gc is.
I apologize if the questions sound dumb or whatever. I have been looking at pages and pages of forms and questions and it all seems very confusing. I was sure there was a stipulation in there that meant he had to make a certain amount in order for the gc to be approved which he simply doesn't. If the border and the papers weren't there, would just be a question of me finding work down there--but that itty-bitty border thing is a biggie.
I'd read that once married and he applies for the greencard (is that what the gc is? ) then I should not apply for the work-visa or even the temporary status or NAFTA thingie (which was the origional plan should I gain work opportunity state side before we got together) whatever at the same time incase they think we are trying to evade immigration laws yet, in order for us to both be together we both have to be working.
This is the source of the anxiety.
I don't know much about the fiance/marriage visas, so this is just a thought... if you came here for 3 months, took care of his grandmother and leave him free to get a full time job, would that work?
Apr 9th 2004, 1:41 pm
#8
@matthewb76
Joined: Jul 2003
Location: Missouri
Posts: 21,886
I am sure once you have a K1 fiance visa, you get your EAD at the Point of Entry into the USA
Apr 9th 2004, 1:47 pm
#9
Account Closed
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 2
Originally posted by manc1976
I am sure once you have a K1 fiance visa, you get your EAD at the Point of Entry into the USA
I am sure once you have a K1 fiance visa, you get your EAD at the Point of Entry into the USA
If you want more info on Marriage Visa's go here:
www.visajourney.com
Apr 9th 2004, 1:48 pm
#10
@matthewb76
Joined: Jul 2003
Location: Missouri
Posts: 21,886
Well there ya go, I'm wrong on immigration again.
pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
Apr 9th 2004, 1:56 pm
#11
Account Closed
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 2
I came in on a K1 about a month ago, through DIA. I had found out that they did not usually give you work authorisation but asked anyway, no go.
Plus you seem to need a SSN to do anything anyway and by the time you get all that sorted, your 90 days will be well used up.
I get the impression that they were much more freely given in the past and presume that the EAD's etc took less time to sort out.
Plus you seem to need a SSN to do anything anyway and by the time you get all that sorted, your 90 days will be well used up.
I get the impression that they were much more freely given in the past and presume that the EAD's etc took less time to sort out.
Apr 9th 2004, 2:32 pm
#12
@matthewb76
Joined: Jul 2003
Location: Missouri
Posts: 21,886
No worries, normally it's Ray6 that just tells me I'm wrong. Made a nice change for someone else to do it! 
Apr 9th 2004, 4:22 pm
#13
Account Closed
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 2
Well Ray6 has been my source for much that I have found out, just wish I had found out all this 2 years ago when we were considering our options.
Apr 9th 2004, 7:20 pm
#14
WTF?
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Homeostasis
Posts: 79,367
Originally posted by Boiler
Most K1's do not. And I am sure I read that those travelling across Canadian border do not.
If you want more info on Marriage Visa's go here:
www.visajourney.com
Most K1's do not. And I am sure I read that those travelling across Canadian border do not.
If you want more info on Marriage Visa's go here:
www.visajourney.com
Apr 9th 2004, 7:25 pm
#15
Not living a 9 to 5 life
Joined: Jun 2002
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 11,061
Originally posted by Taffyles
I don't know much about the fiance/marriage visas, so this is just a thought... if you came here for 3 months, took care of his grandmother and leave him free to get a full time job, would that work?
I don't know much about the fiance/marriage visas, so this is just a thought... if you came here for 3 months, took care of his grandmother and leave him free to get a full time job, would that work?
can't even look after her boyfriend's/fiance's grandmother. That would be beyond the scope of the Visa Waiver and she would be considered working and not behaving as a visitor.
This has been discussed in the past on one or more of the US immigration related newsgroups accessible on British Expats.
