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Help/advice - may need to call it a day

Help/advice - may need to call it a day

Old Mar 21st 2015, 6:52 pm
  #31  
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Default Re: Help/advice - may need to call it a day

Indeed.
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Old Mar 21st 2015, 8:53 pm
  #32  
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Default Re: Help/advice - may need to call it a day

You mentioned they are short-staffed - any chance that's because everyone else quit?? Honestly, when management is that bad, I don't really see a constructive way forward without replacing them completely.

Could any of her external board contacts be an avenue to finding another position?

Originally Posted by smarty156 View Post
I think she needs to do it on her own with detailed breakdown of the hours she's doing (which she has for last 3 weeks), her diary for the rest of the year and an attitude of this isn't right and she's not putting up with it any longer.
She wants to avoid a confrontation but sometimes I think there's no other way.
I didn't try very hard to address my situation, as I decided very early that I was leaving. My one attempt involved an approach like: "I feel like I will do better work if I am aware of projects as they arise*/I am told whether there is an established process, or I can use my own judgement**/etc. Downtime is essential to maintaining the quality of my work; I find it stressful to not be able to deliver my best, given workload pressures."



*instead of telling me 2 days beforehand, when you've known for months.
**rather than you screaming at me for doing the wrong thing, when you told me that I could do whatever to make it happen.
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Old Mar 21st 2015, 9:04 pm
  #33  
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Default Re: Help/advice - may need to call it a day

Originally Posted by smarty156 View Post
Unfortunately that's just not her way. If it needs doing she'll do it. It wouldn't reflect well on her professionally either with the people in the work groups/boards.
It would show that she's assertive, which in my professional career has been a highly valued attribute.

OTOH if her industry only values people because they are willing to work long hours then perhaps she's in the wrong industry...
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Old Mar 24th 2015, 6:52 pm
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Default Re: Help/advice - may need to call it a day

On a positive note, it is fairly expensive for an employer to bring someone over to the US and sponsor their visa etc. and generally they would not want to lose this investment if possible. They may just need to understand how much she really is working!
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Old Mar 24th 2015, 6:56 pm
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Default Re: Help/advice - may need to call it a day

Yes, at the moment I'm tending to agree. We'll see.
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Old Apr 20th 2015, 1:54 pm
  #36  
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Default Re: Help/advice - may need to call it a day

So it looks like we'll be returning to the UK. Wife needs to have one final discussion with her boss pointing out the impossibility of her work schedule, calendar in hand so he can see in black and white how bad it is but we don't believe it will make any difference. The final straw was that her sister is getting married in late August. She told her boss this (and that we'd be going back to England for a couple of weeks holiday) before she accepted the job. However, running through her work schedule she'll have to work every day that we're home, including weekends, to get everything done. And because these things are every couple of months it's a cycle that will just repeat. In other words she'll never be able to take any holiday (not more than a couple of days at a time anyway). To cap it off she had a 4 day Board meeting last week (one day of which was on a Sunday FFS!) after which there was a meeting where the boards said they wanted papers etc even earlier than now. That would be impossible. It can't physically be done. She'd virtually have to work 24 hours a day for a week to do it. And as usual her boss said nothing in the meeting. He's completely spineless.

So, being on a cap exempt H1B we have no choice but to quit and go back to the UK jobless.

Anyway, rant over I just have a couple of questions. There's a 30 day notice period in her contract but I understand the US are notorious for sending people out of the office as soon as they quit. My understanding is we have 30 days from the point she is no longer working to leave the country. Is that 30 days AFTER her 30 day notice period ends and does it matter if she quits and they ask her to leave ASAP (given the 30 days is contractual)? I can't see they would but I want to cover all eventualities.

I'm waiting for the removal company we used to get here to let me know when they can come and pack our things so that I can organize timings of when she hands her notice in Etc.

We're only about 6 months into a 19 month lease so we'll need to negotiate terminating that with the landlord. The house is bang opposite a very good Elementary school (Seely Place Elementary) in the Edgemont School district in Westchester County (was listed as top public school district in US in a recent article) so I don't think they'll have any issue re-letting it and this is probably the best time of year to do it. I'm guessing we'll have to continue paying rent until it is re-let and we may have to pay any agency fees but so be it.

There's also a clause in the employment contract about repaying costs of getting us here if we leave within 3 years, on a pro rata basis. However I would argue that the job is not in accordance with the job spec due to the excessive number of days travelling overseas (31 days projected this year versus 8 to 10 per annum in the job spec) and therefore we will refuse to pay back any costs. They paid our security deposit (2 months rent) which I guess they will withhold from her last month's salary but then we'll get that back from the landlord anyway (we paid him and firm reimbursed us).

We've emailed the head of the kids old school in England to see if there's space for them to return and are holding our breath as this would make life so much easier if they could slot back in.

Once we know about schools and availability of movers then it's just timing of handing notice in and talking to landlord, finding somewhere to live in the UK etc.

The only other big item to sort is the car. Bought a new Ford Explorer in December (ordered through IAS before we left UK) part cash part bank loan. Guess the simplest thing to do would be to see if supplying dealer will buy it off us (unless anyone else has any better ideas)? No idea what we'd have to do to sell privately and I think that's too risky and would possibly take too long.

Thanks for your input. It's a real shame it's come to this as we really do all like living here.

Last edited by smarty156; Apr 20th 2015 at 1:59 pm.
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Old Apr 20th 2015, 4:16 pm
  #37  
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Default Re: Help/advice - may need to call it a day

Try getting an offer from Carmax for your Explorer. I am fairly sure they would like to buy it, but I don't know how generous their offer will be.
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Old Apr 20th 2015, 4:20 pm
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Default Re: Help/advice - may need to call it a day

Originally Posted by Pulaski View Post
Try getting an offer from Carmax for your Explorer. I am fairly sure they would like to buy it, but I don't know how generous their offer will be.
Thanks. I'll give them a try.
I did try webuyanycar.com and it wasn't disastrous.
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Old Apr 21st 2015, 12:10 am
  #39  
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Default Re: Help/advice - may need to call it a day

Originally Posted by Pulaski View Post
Try getting an offer from Carmax for your Explorer. I am fairly sure they would like to buy it, but I don't know how generous their offer will be.
Last year we had to take hubby's car back to the U.S. to sell it. Carmax offered him a good price (better than the Mercedes dealership) for his 3 year old car...the whole transaction was very simple.
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Old Apr 21st 2015, 12:54 am
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Default Re: Help/advice - may need to call it a day

The other benefit with Carmax is they will give you a written offer valid for 7(?) days. This gives you chance to a) hawk it round to see if you can do better, or b) run it down to the wire re departure date without having to worry about getting a rental for the last period if you end up selling it a few days before you leave

On the lease....check out the wording on your diplomatic clause...is it only valid if the company terminates you, or does it also apply if you leave?
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Old Apr 21st 2015, 8:27 am
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Default Re: Help/advice - may need to call it a day

Originally Posted by smarty156 View Post
So it looks like we'll be returning to the UK. Wife needs to have one final discussion with her boss pointing out the impossibility of her work schedule, calendar in hand so he can see in black and white how bad it is but we don't believe it will make any difference.
I'm sorry it hasn't worked out for you. I know of other examples just like your wife's situation. Just complete denial of reality on the part of the bosses, and less employee protection in the US means they get away with it. You wife's health and sanity are more important in the long term. Best of luck for the move back.
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Old Apr 21st 2015, 12:37 pm
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Default Re: Help/advice - may need to call it a day

Originally Posted by Yorkieabroad View Post
The other benefit with Carmax is they will give you a written offer valid for 7(?) days. This gives you chance to a) hawk it round to see if you can do better, or b) run it down to the wire re departure date without having to worry about getting a rental for the last period if you end up selling it a few days before you leave

On the lease....check out the wording on your diplomatic clause...is it only valid if the company terminates you, or does it also apply if you leave?
Agreed re Carmax.

Not sure I understand your point re lease. Diplomatic clause?
Thanks
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Old Apr 21st 2015, 12:48 pm
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Default Re: Help/advice - may need to call it a day

Originally Posted by yellowroom View Post
I'm sorry it hasn't worked out for you. I know of other examples just like your wife's situation. Just complete denial of reality on the part of the bosses, and less employee protection in the US means they get away with it. You wife's health and sanity are more important in the long term. Best of luck for the move back.
Thanks. In the end, that's what it's come down to.
They're also in the process of recruiting someone that will slot in between her and her boss so even if she could stick it out for a couple of years what then? They've just blocked any career advancement. I think they've done it because her boss is also working stupid hours and this person will help him out. I don't think it will make much difference to my wife's workload. So stay in a job working all hours with no real time off and no career path or call it a day and try something/somewhere else? Bit of a no brainer when you look at it like that really.

It's going to cost us quite a bit to get our things shipped back home (plus we've bought things here that now puts us 5 to 10% over a 20 foot container capacity). Expensive mistake but thems the breaks.

Good news is that even though the kids old school is full the head will go over the limit and make an exception for them so they can slot straight back in (probably helps my wife was a school governor there before we left!).
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Old Apr 21st 2015, 2:21 pm
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Default Re: Help/advice - may need to call it a day

Originally Posted by smarty156 View Post
Agreed re Carmax.

Not sure I understand your point re lease. Diplomatic clause?
Thanks
Check to see if your lease has a diplomatic clause in it. If you were assisted by the company or a relocation agent it almost certainly will. These are basically a "get out of jail free" card, allowing early termination of the lease if certain conditions are met. Normally they will only cover an overseas tenant being relocated by the company, but I know of at least one oil company that requires it to cover termination of the employee, and another that requires termination or resignation of the employee. Most will have a "distance" proviso too - eg the tenant/company must prove that the relocation will be more than 50 miles from the property or something like that. There will probably be a time element involved too - eg it only becomes effective after a certain period, normally 6 or 12 months, but I have seen them without any time stipulation.
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Old Apr 21st 2015, 2:34 pm
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Default Re: Help/advice - may need to call it a day

I see. No, nothing like that. This wasn't an intra company relocation. It was a new job at a new firm so no relocation help other than they paid for shipping, lent us the money for the security deposit (repayable on leaving) and gave us $5,000 to help buy new things. Finding a house to rent etc was down to us.
The lease can be ended early (1st January 2016) for a fee of 1 months rent providing we give 60 days notice. Otherwise if we terminate early then strictly speaking we owe the rest of the rent in one lump sum. If they then re-let any rent they receive will be due back to us. I'll talk to them and see if we can just keep paying the rent monthly until they re-let it. Can't imagine it would be around long. All the other parents at school are very jealous of our 1 minute commute to school (by foot!).

Last edited by smarty156; Apr 21st 2015 at 2:37 pm.
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