N1cky

Steak and champers... How ridiculous.

We obviously didn't get any of that on the NHS. The midwife did bring hubby some pizza as they were having a staff party for some reason. I wasn't allowed any

Many congrats Rose Tea

sir_eccles

First thing my wife had when she got home was a large martini. It was the only thing she craved through the pregnancy.

N1cky

If we all waited until we felt we could afford kids, none of us would ever have them.

SultanOfSwing

I suppose it is, but then again, I didn't turn my nose up at a hot meal for dinner and all the sandwiches I could eat, when my wife was in having our daughter

Sally Redux

You'd better get a move on, girl

florida12

Boy will I!!! Although common now women in their 40's having their first. This will be my 2nd but that WAS 22 years ago!! I have a lot of women in my studio classes, having their first well into their 40's. Later than my intentions. 45/46 I don't want to leave it that long.

Ozzidoc

Congrats to the OP and to augigi !!

Gillymonkey

My experience was really pleasent too. We have great insurance and all in including pre and post natal care for me and bubs it was only $550. My labour and delivery experience went exactly as I wanted on my terms. We also hired a doula and this gave us such piece of mind.

kins

After I gave birth (in the UK) I was offered a choice of two stale tuna sandwiches.

I said actually I'd just have a shower and go straight home...

steveq

Korean friend who had twins last year, gets a week layup in a special post-partum rest home as part of their tradition.

Rose tea

Glad it helped you.

As for shopping around, your insurance will usually allow you to use a number of different places for the birth, and some places will be cheaper to give birth in than others. The better your insurance, the better your options. Three people can all have the exact same birth at the same place and each pay very different amounts depending on insurance. Hospitals connected to universities usually accept most if not all insurance plans, so they are a good place to consider.

As you're over 35, you'll be considered advanced gestational age, and many places will want you to use an obstetrician instead of a midwife. This can make it a bit harder to have a low intervention pregnancy, but not impossible. You have to be comfortable standing up for yourself and not being afraid to try another doctor if someone seems too pushy or just not what you want. If you know where in California you will be, you can start looking online for parents and see what their experiences were. The USA is all about customer service and people will be happy to tell you about their experiences as "customers" at various hospitals or birth centres.

Uncle_Bob

We were given a menu with about 4 choices, we both had steak and champers. No thank you was an option if you thought the very kind offer of a congratulatory meal was ridiculous
I've never been known to turn down a steak meal

My wife loved hers, i didn't enjoy mine that much but then again i was stood at the other end for the birth. I still had that image of the placenta in my mind.

I do remember thinking should i be leaving a tip? the nurse came in and took our order and brought the food in, just as a server would do in a restaurant, even took a photo for us. But then they are on a good salary and benefit packages. I can't remember if I left a few bucks on the tray or not.

Uncle_Bob

I'm glad everything went well for you Rose Tea. Both our births went OK. I think i paid around $100 for each child. My wife even chose the none profit hospital over the fancier max for profit hospital which was within walking distance.
We ended up in an overflow room for one birth as they were busy but even that was OK.
I did get a sense that things can get unpleasant pretty soon if there are any kind of complications. Insurance pays well for a text book delivery, although they don't pay for a doula. We found the epidural worked well, I spent the last hours before birth sat in a recliner watching sky sports. They wouldn't let me watch the epidural, i had to sit in front of here so i couldn't see her getting plugged into the matrix on her back, some guys pass out when they see that. I was surprised to be completely involved with the birth, holding a leg and cutting the cord, they didn't even ask if I wanted too.
One slight complication, one son was born with jaundice and they wanted to keep him in another night under the UV lamp. Insurance would not have covered a room so my wife could stay with him, we would have left without the baby. They only let us leave with the baby because my wife was an RN (pediatric) so they basically discussed a plan to sit out on the porch in the sunlight of which there is plenty here.

I did have a billing issue, a really annoying one that took ages to figure out.
Insurance allows two routine ultrasounds. They billed me for a third one.
Turns out on the first ultrasound they used two machines because they couldn't find the baby with the first one. Even though it would have been on the same day my insurance saw that as two ultrasounds, so when we had our second they saw that as our third and wanted $500 or so.

Gillymonkey

Exactly this! I am in California and have HMO insurance. I was offered a choice on how I wanted to approach my birth. We did pay for our own doula but that was really because at that time my understanding of the US healthcare system was limited so I wanted someone to be my advocate. Looking back I don't think I needed her for that purpose since the hospital staff totally complied with all my wishes. She was a fantastic support though and since I laboured with no meds at all she was invaluable to me in terms of helping me find my 'zone' to cope with the pain.

Uncle_Bob

Now that is amazing