Partystar

Well a lot of you 'regulars' know my story, so as you know we were planning on moving back to England in about 2 years. Well, that time has been pushed forward to the next few weeks!

I arrived back from my holiday back in England a few weeks ago. I asked my husband again if he really wanted to move back to England in 2 years time. His answer was a long pause & then a 'No'. Ever since I told him I couldn't live in America, he said he would move back to England with us, after he'd done a couple of years in his new job as a fireman.

Well that was all a lie. He finally admitted that he didn't want to go back to England & that he just said he would, because he really thought he could change my mind about living here. While we were away, he finally figured out that I wasn't going to change my mind & decided he was going to tell me after his graduation ceremony, but as I asked him first, he decided to tell me then.

He also said he didn't want the hassle of finding another job as a fireman over in England, as he'd worked so hard to get the one he's got now. He admitted that he was choosing his career over his family. He said a lot of other things too, which don't really make sense, however, they're his reasons.

I was furious & so upset, I really have no one here to turn to. I have a lot of friends here, but they're not the great friends I have back home. I had one amazing friend here, who I clicked with straight away, but she moved to Texas about a month ago, so I was pretty much alone. I just wanted to go back home.

Then the paranoia set it, what if he tried to stop me moving back to England with our son? Questions & scenarios buzzed around my head for days, I couldn't eat & I couldn't sleep. I put on 7lbs back in England, eating all that good food. I lost it all in the couple of days after this happened; it was the best diet I'd ever been on!

I looked up as much info as I could, but without getting a lawyer, it was hard to find the information I needed online. So with all that I decided to tell Devin what I was thinking, about going home. We sat down & wrote out a little 'contract' with regards to our son, our home, our possessions etc. After that I felt much better, the paranoia subsided slightly & I felt that, although it wasn't a proper legal document, it should stand for something. We signed & kept a copy.

So with that in mind, the divorce is going quite smoothly at the moment. Apparently I should be able to leave quite soon. We are both trying to be fair, for the sake of our son.

I'll keep you all updated with our progress & will let you know when we're going back home. If anyone has any advice or any info on shipping, I'd love to hear it. I also wanted to say how great it has been to have BE & all of you here, it's been a great help & I really appreciate it.

jumping doris

I don't know what to say except I'm sorry it's all gone wrong.
What a horrible time to go through...
At least it seems you will be able to go home without problems.

Adnams

Good luck with your future and fingers crossed for you too.

scrubbedexpat097

Oh Partystar I am so sorry.

DollyLlama

Sorry to hear this, just want to wish you all the very best

another bloody yank

I hope you find happiness.

username 34

I'm so sorry to hear all that partystar .... are you guys divorcing because of the move back to the UK or was divroce on the cards anyway?

it sounds to be amicable at least which is a huge blessing - but sad that he's going to miss out on seeing his son growing up in another country.
as you said - he has his own reasons I guess.

good luck PS - everyone deserves to be happy!

snowbunny

Edited down to:

get started on the process now

britvic

Oh my dear Liz I nearly fell off my chair while reading your news so sorry to hear that, you come across as a very strong young Lady and I'm hoping that will be enough to see you through this tuff time.

Partystar

Thank you everyone, your kind words really do help.

Partystar

No, divorce was not on the cards, we still love each other, but I can't be happy living here & he doesn't think he can be happy living in England, so this is really the only answer. He said he's not even willing to try living in England & that he's made up his mind. He may regret it later, but I'm not about to wait around to see if that happens.

The other reasons are that he wants to go hunting, fishing, camping etc, which doesn't make sense to me, as you can do all that in England! But like I said, those are his reasons.

hayley82

Oh Liz, I'm so sorry. I'm here if you need to talk.

Partystar

Just 6 weeks. (btw, my husband is Devin, our son is Tyler! )

Not sure what you mean by hand in his passport. Or about paying child support. Devin is willing to pay child support & he's fine with Tyler moving back to England with me.

Devin & Tyler do have a good relationship, but the problem is, Devin hasn't been around much since Tyler was born. He's been working full time, overtime, going to college etc, so Tyler is more attached to me, than his dad.

I suggested us going back to England, like a trial separation, but he's adamant that he won't want to move to England. I'm not about to wait around to see what he does after we've gone, he's made his choice, I'm not going to try to change his mind. I've waited around too long as it is.

Partystar

Cheers Vic! Guess I'll be seeing you sooner than I thought. I'd love to meet up with you once you're back over there & settled in, our boys would probably get on well too!

Partystar

Cheers Hayley! I was just going through our bank receipts the other day & came across our NYC bar bill, great stuff! Such a fun trip.